CHAPTER SIX #2
Muttering ran through the crowd at these words and it was clear to Cailean at least that her speech had impressed some people.
Certainly, the genuineness and spirit in her was appealing, but it left a bad feeling in his gut nonetheless.
It wasn't that he was against having women in the rebellion — certainly, many of them cut fine figures and could rival many of the men.
But this one gave him a feeling he didn't understand.
She was so small and slight and he worried that if he went along with this, he'd have only her death on his conscience.
He could feel everyone's eyes on him and he knew that they were all expecting him, as the unofficial trainer of the people here in the rebel camp, to make the final decision on whether this Mary could stay or not.
If Senan had brought her, then really there should be no question: Senan, not Cailean, was one of the council, and so Senan's decision should be sacrosanct.
But Cailean knew that if he objected, Senan would agree.
Should he? They could house the girl with someone in the village for a while until they found something else to do with her. Maybe they could contact Morag and her White Sparrows and see if they could take this girl in.
He met Mary's eyes. She was watching him, unblinking, determination on her lips and blaring in her expression. She was not interested in arguing with him, he realized, nor would she be willing to compromise.
"I'm here tae fight," she said again as if she'd read his mind. "Will ye teach me?"
Cailean met Senan's eyes then sighed. The old man was watching him with unabashed curiosity. So be it then.
"Ye can stay," he said, turning back to Mary. "And we will teach ye. But I warn ye, we willnae go easy."
Senan laughed. "Ye think I've been goin' easy on her, Cailean?" he asked.
Privately, Cailean suspected so. Senan was an amazing mentor, strong and tough, but he was also kind at heart. He imagined that the trainer had pulled his punches with this lovely young woman. But Cailean needed Mary to understand that it wouldn't be like that here.
"If ye cannae manage, ye'll leave," he said. He truly believed that she would give up before sundown the next day. "But ye can stay for now, if ye can follow orders."
Mary grimaced. "I can follow orders," she said. "But will ye train me tae fight, or will ye try tae make me somethin' else? I ken ye dinnae want tae train a woman—"
"I never said that."
"—but I swear, I'll fight just as well as any of ye, woman or not. I have just as much right tae fight for what I believe in as ye do, or as any of these men." Mary tilted her head. "So? What do ye say?"
Cailean sighed. "First thing in the mornin', then. Ferda, find her a bed with the women."
Then, before anyone could say anything else to him, he turned and headed back toward his meal. His reluctance notwithstanding, it was likely she wouldn't be here for long anyway. He'd see how far she'd manage before she gave up.
So many gave up, in the end.
That night, Cailean had a dream — a footstep into a memory he'd never revisited for twenty years.
Three weeks had passed since Morag had helped him escape from his family home, and she'd brought him to a camp somewhere he did not recognize.
His eyes were dry now; he'd cried all the tears he had remaining within him, and now there was nothing left.
Morag brought him before two men who seemed to be waiting for him.
"Is this the lad?" asked a tall, strong man in his mid-thirties. "The prince?"
Cailean flinched. He didn't want to be a prince anymore. He knew that if he hadn't been a prince, his family would still be alive. His home would still be standing. "I'm just Cailean," he said quietly. "That's all."
"Just Cailean, eh?" the other man asked. He was the same age as the first, or maybe a little older, with a grizzled, hardened expression on his face and tree-sap blond hair that was starting to turn gray. "Welcome, Cailean. I'm Kier, and this is Senan. Ye're gonnae be stayin' with us from now on."
Cailean turned to Morag. He'd known that she was going to leave, she'd warned him, but he felt very nervous now that this moment had come. "Do ye have tae leave me here?" he asked her. "Can I nae come with ye and do what ye're doin'?"
Morag hesitated, then leaned down to kiss his cheek. "I'll stay with ye for a few days, love, until ye settle in. But then we've both got jobs to do, me wee darlin', and destinies tae fulfil."
"I dinnae want a destiny," Cailean protested.
Senan moved forward and knelt down before him on one knee. "Ye've got one anyway, lad," he said. "But dinnae worry. We'll help ye through it until ye're ready."
Cailean didn't know what to say. He didn't understand what was going on, but he felt a strange sense of safety when he looked into Senan's coal-black eyes.
This man was going to look after him, he was sure of it.
He glanced up at the other man, Kier, and was surprised to see kindness looking back at him.
"Me own son's about yer age," Kier told him. "His name's Darren. And me nephew and a few of me nieces are close as well. Ye'll have lots of friends here. A family, if ye want it."
"I had a family," Cailean said. "But they're gone now."
The dream shifted.
It was a week later, and Morag was riding away from the camp while Cailean sat on the top of the roof of their base, watching her go. He was crying a little, but that was all right. Nobody could see him.
But then someone clambered up to join him. Cailean jumped in surprise and nearly fell, but managed to steady himself as Darren, his new friend, came to sit by him.
"Dinnae be upset. Ye'll see her again," Darren told him. "Maybe it'll take some time, but ye will."
"I might not," Cailean said sadly. "I'll never see me mammy or daddy or me brothers or sisters again. Maybe Morag will be the same way. It seems tae me that everyone leaves eventually."
Darren frowned. "I'll never see me mammy again either. Da said it's because we couldnae keep her safe. Our home as well. I wasnae supposed tae hear him, but I did."
"How are we supposed tae keep people safe, then?" Cailean asked.
Darren shrugged. "I dinnae ken. But maybe ye and I can stick together? And then we'll do anythin' we can tae keep everyone safe so naebody has tae leave us ever again."
Cailean started awake, feeling a stinging in his eyes. He wasn't sure what time it was, but his body was heavy, and he could tell it was still the middle of the night. Darren slept heavily in the other bed, and the sound of his breathing was enough to bring Cailean back to the present.
He still remembered that promise he'd made to Darren to keep everyone safe. He knew it was a childish promise, but his heart still held it close. They'd lost men and women over the years, and he knew they'd lose more, but he was determined not to allow it unless it was necessary.
And so this girl, Mary. If she wanted training, he'd give it. He'd exhaust her until she gave up and let them find her somewhere else to go. Then there would be no fear of having to protect her.