Chapter 3
Breana felt strange as she approached her room to gather her supplies.
Her whole soul seemed to be vibrating inside her skin, her hair standing on end, and she could barely believe she had convinced them to let her go with Eoin on a mission so important.
She'd gone with him on a mission before to warn Maeve and save Cailean, but that had been a spur-of-the-moment thing, an impulsive act that she had barely given herself time to think about.
As she packed her charcoals and paper, along with a few changes of clothes, she considered how different this mission would be.
But her determination burned hotter than ever.
She had accepted that she would never be a warrior, but she was still learning what it meant to be helpful to the rebellion outside of that role.
By doing this, she knew she could find her place more firmly than ever before.
A knock sounded at the door. She opened it, and Eoin stood there, his owlish eyes narrowed and focused, a frown on his handsome face.
He walked inside without waiting for a further invitation, strolling over to the window and staring out without a word.
Confused by his behavior, Breana closed the door behind him and then turned over to face him.
"What do ye see?" she asked.
He didn't turn back immediately. "A country at war," he replied without looking at her. "And a place where scarcely any safety exists anymore outside of these castle walls.
"That's what we're doin' this for, is it nae?" Breana asked. "Tryin' tae save our world?"
He finally faced her, the expression on his face even more distressed, uncharacteristically stern, and maybe even frustrated. His auburn hair shone bright in the sunlight, his eyes even more blue than usual, churning with conflicting emotion.
"Ye need tae stay here," he told her.
Breana blinked, unable to comprehend the words from his lips for a moment.
In the time she'd known him, Eoin had been her biggest supporter, following her into danger without more than a second thought, encouraging her to try everything and never back down.
But now he was looking at her with more severity than she had ever seen on his gentle face, and she knew he meant his words.
"Ye ken that isnae gonnae happen," she said evenly. "I need tae finish me preparations. If ye arenae here tae help me…"
"It's too dangerous," Eoin insisted. He stepped closer to her.
"Nae because ye arenae a warrior. Nae because ye're a lassie.
But because ye're ye. Breana, yer father's men may still be lookin' for ye.
O'Sullivan was wounded, nae killed, and we ken he's one of the most powerful lairds in the land.
One of the False King's closest followers.
He kens he cannae reclaim Maeve now that she's bonded to Cailean, but ye—ye arenae safe. "
"None of us are safe," Breana protested, taking a few steps closer to him in turn.
She would not let him intimidate her, not even looking at her the way he was.
"Ye just said so yerself. But I need tae do this just as much as ye do.
Even Maeve has accepted it; she understands that I'll be more useful than any of the scouts or even other warriors ye could take with ye in locatin' this convent. So it's already settled."
"It isnae. Ye can go tae Ferda and find me a rough location on a map. I can figure out the rest meself from there," Eoin argued. He moved even closer, so much so that she could feel the frustration and urgency radiating from him.
"Ye said ye want tae go on this journey in honor of yer sister who passed, did ye nae?
My own sister still lives, and I can do nothin' tae save her.
I dinnae even ken if she'd come with me if I tried!
" Breana retorted, heat stirring in her tone too, her heart racing as the adrenaline surged.
"I have the skill, I have the motivation.
And I want tae do this. Who are ye tae stop me? "
Eoin was so close now that she could feel his breath mingling with hers, his blue eyes seeming as wide as the ocean as they stared at her, obviously desperate to get his point across.
His hands reached out and grasped her arms just below the shoulders, holding her in place, forcing her to look straight up at him.
Even in the strength of the grip, though, he was gentle, nowhere near hurting her.
"The point is that if I wanted tae stop ye, physically, I could." Eoin's voice was strained, and there was a sense of danger there. "And so could any other trained attacker."
Anger flashed in Breana's heart, and she placed her hands on his chest, unsuccessfully trying to push him back. "I am nae weak!" she snarled.
His expression changed at that, his eyes widening, a look of surprise dancing around his lips.
When he spoke again, his voice softened, and the usual kindness and support was there again, twisted up with his clear concern.
"Breana, I ken ye arenae weak. I think ye're stronger than most people I've ever met. I've told ye this over and over."
"Then why?" she demanded, her own tone retreating a little.
Neither of them moved their hands, still caught so close to one another that she felt hypnotized under some sort of spell, as if the world had frozen around them.
"Why are ye sayin' this? Do ye simply nae want me tae come with ye? Have I done somethin' wrong?"
"Ye've done everythin' right for the entire time I've been here, Breana," Eoin told her, his voice quiet now, intense.
"But I need ye tae understand how important ye are.
Ye're worth so much more to everyone than ye can imagine.
Nae just tae Maeve, nor even tae me, but tae the whole rebellion.
Tae the whole country. Ye're essential, and I cannae bear the thought that somethin' could ever happen tae ye. "
"And I am supposed tae just accept somethin' could happen tae ye?
" Breana challenged. "Are ye nae the one who protected me on our whole journey tae McKenzie Castle and then onward tae me father's home?
Are ye nae the one who saved Cailean from that cell?
Ye're just as important as I am. More, even. "
Eoin let out a soft sound that was almost a scoff and dropped his gaze, his whole demeanor shifting. Breana could tell at that moment that he did not believe her; he clearly could not accept her words.
Frustration bubbled up in her once more.
"How are we different?" she demanded. "I am the daughter of a Laird who betrayed the rightful king and serves the False King so loyally that many people have cursed my family name and will continue tae do so long after we are all gone.
Ye are the son of a laird who did the exact same thing. What is the difference between us?"
Eoin shook his head. "Ye dinnae understand. Maeve is yer sister, and…"
"Maeve is yer friend. Ye saved her life.
Ye're her family too. Eoin, ye're…" Breana sighed.
"Do ye think I dinnae see how ye devalue yerself over and over again?
Ye throw yerself intae mission after mission, barely taking care, actin' as though ye're replaceable.
But ye arenae. Nae tae me, nae tae anyone. "
His lips tightened, and she could see that he was about to dismiss her words again. She prepared herself for another argument, ready to make her point more firmly if she needed to, but she was interrupted as the door swung open.
They both turned to see Maeve watching cautiously from the doorway, looking a little guilty to have interrupted, but strangely amused as well. She smiled slightly and said, "I'm sorry tae come in like this, but I will say, ye're doin' an excellent job at impersonatin' a married couple already."
Breana and Eoin jumped apart as if they were burned. She could see Eoin looking a little red around the neck, and she felt her own cheeks flare from embarrassment.
"Why would ye say such a thing?" she demanded of her sister, trying not to make it too obvious how much the words had affected her, and failing miserably. "What has bein'... married got tae do with anythin'?"
"Plenty," Maeve replied with a shrug. "Ye're a young man and a young woman travelin' together.
If people get suspicious, it makes sense tae claim ye're newlyweds.
Who kens what kind of cover story ye might need in the days ahead.
Ye'll be travelin' far and intae lands we dinnae ken well.
Suspicion will be yer enemy, and ye must be ready tae face whatever might come.
Besides, I think ye'll make a wonderful married couple. "
Obviously flustered, Eoin muttered something under his breath. "I'll be at the stables if ye need me. I–excuse me…"
Only when he was gone did Maeve fully enter the room and sit herself down gingerly at the end of Breana's bed. She was carrying something strapped to her back, and she carefully removed it to reveal a finely crafted bow, which she laid down beside her.
Breana was momentarily distracted from her embarrassment by the sight of the beautiful weapon. She walked over and traced a finger along the carved wood, taken aback. It was smaller than the standard size, obviously designed specifically that way. "What is this?"
"It's for ye," Maeve explained. "I had it made for yer size and shape tae make things a bit easier for ye. I noticed that the bow is one of the weapons ye've been doin' best with, and I think it suits yer precise mind. Ye ken to be patient, how tae aim and when tae shoot."
"I'm nae well-versed in the weapon yet," Breana said hesitantly, though part of her heart soared as she realized the implications of the gift Maeve had given her.
This had been made for her, which meant that Maeve trusted her, even before all of this had happened.
Maeve had known that Breana might need a weapon of her own.