Chapter 10
Night had fallen hours before, but Breana refused to admit her weariness at first. It was only after Eoin drew his horse to a stop and in turn refused to follow her any further that she reluctantly slowed down.
"We have tae keep goin'," she insisted, exasperated. "I slept all night last night, and in a bed besides. Ye cannae possibly still be worried about me. I'm nae all that delicate."
Eoin slipped down off his horse and led the creature toward the small pond in the middle of the small hill-circled valley where they had stopped.
Breana scowled and, after a moment, got down and followed.
They allowed the horses to drink, neither of them speaking.
Breana supposed she was glad that Eoin hadn't pointed out that there was plenty still to worry about, because she wasn't ready to talk about it yet.
She wasn't even ready to think about what she had learned the night before, nor the night of sorrow that had followed.
"We make camp," he told her in a tone that brokered no argument. It was unlike him; he very rarely insisted on anything from her. "If ye willnae do it for yourself, then ye'll do it for me. I scarcely got any sleep last night, after all."
Breana frowned slightly, knowing he had her beaten here.
She didn't believe that concern for himself was the main reason that Eoin was insisting on making camp for the night, but she also knew that he knew that she wouldn't allow him to struggle.
She looked around them at the small, protected field in the middle of the valley and had to admit that, even though they weren't deep in a forest as she'd prefer, this was as safe a place as any to sleep for the night.
It was far from where anyone might wander across them by mistake, and the surrounding small trees and hills sheltered them enough from the wind that they wouldn't freeze.
Grumbling to herself, she unloaded the bed rolls from the packs the horses carried, laying them out across the flat ground.
She secured the horses as Eoin approached the small, spaced out trees to see what wood he could gather, and he returned soon after with enough fallen branches and leaves to start a passable campfire.
"Hungry?" he asked with a grin.
They sat together cooking some of their supplies over a small flame, and as the stars shone in the sky above them, and they ate the slightly burned food together, Breana felt her irritation with everything fade.
There was something about the openness and honesty that constantly adorned Eoin's face, something about the earnestness in his voice and the gentle way that he expressed himself, that made it almost impossible to feel anything but calm in his presence.
"—and then I fell off the horse again," Eoin concluded his story, and both of them burst into laughter. "She never even looked me way after that! Me father was so ashamed he didnae speak tae me for a week, and the lassie's father removed all ideas of potential courtship from the table for good."
"Have ye always been so charmin' around women?
" Breana asked, still giggling. Eoin in the story had only been around fourteen or so, but she could picture him now, awkwardly trying to woo a young woman to please his father's expectations and tripping over himself.
"Or is it only when it'll get ye intae trouble? "
Eoin grinned, winking at her. "Och, I'm plenty good at gettin' meself intae trouble for a bonny face. Surely ye've noticed."
There was a pause as they both realized what he had just said, and Breana saw it even in the firelight when his face reddened a little and he looked away. She felt her own skin flush, and she wondered if she dared to interpret his words the way she hoped.
Immediately after that, she felt ridiculous. How could she even be thinking about such things as this right now? She had to focus on her mission and keep going. She had to get back home victorious so that she could tell Maeve what had happened. She had to… She had to…
"I have tae train," she said abruptly.
Eoin looked at her again, seeming a little confused for just a moment. "Oh. Oh, I thought ye might want tae rest."
She braced herself for a scolding, but was surprised and gratified when he shook his head and smiled instead, the gentleness in that smile visible even just by the light of the campfire and the stars.
"Good. It's probably good tae practice in low light. Yer aim is gettin' better, so it's time tae get tae the next step." He stood and moved to their packs, then returned with her bow and quiver in his hands, holding it out to her. "Let's see what ye can do."
Over the next hour or so, they practiced on a makeshift target.
Breana found that her aim was improving, though more than once she found herself frustrated by her slow progress.
Eoin occasionally offered tips or guided her arm, and Breana appreciated his help, but to her frustration, the task was not lifting her irritable mood as much as she'd hoped it would.
The fire was smoldering down to embers now, and Breana knew that, fairly soon, she would have to stop training and give up to a night of what would be most likely fitful sleep if she managed to rest at all.
Eoin stopped her as she raised her bow again, and she prepared herself to argue with him that she needed just a little more time to train.
"This isnae workin'," Eoin said.
"Eoin, I—"
"Let's play a game," he interrupted. "Make it a wee bit more fun. How about every time ye score a bullseye, ye get tae ask me a question, and I have tae answer in full?"
Breana felt a smile twitching on her lips. "Ye're so interestin' as tae be a temptation, are ye?" she asked.
He flashed her a grin. "I certainly hope so. And if I manage tae hit the center of the target, ye have tae answer me own question."
Amused enough to be distracted from her mood, Breana held out the bow. "Fine," she agreed. "Ye go first."
Eoin winked at her, took aim… and to both her shock and, by his expression, his too, he managed to hit the target dead center right away. He started laughing in disbelief, and Breana found herself giggling too at the genuineness of his reaction.
"We can start from the next one, if ye want," he offered. "That was obviously just a lucky shot."
She shook her head. "Nay. We made a deal. Ask me a question."
Eoin thought about it for a moment, then said hesitantly, "Do–do ye mind if it's somethin' really personal?"
"I'd be offended if it wasnae." Breana's focus intensified as she saw the expression on his face. Her heart started to beat a little faster, realizing that whatever he was about to say would change things. "Ask."
He nodded, taking a breath, then asked, "Why–why did ye refuse when I offered tae go and get yer sister? It wouldnae throw us off track too much; we could find our way back here, and that way…"
He trailed off. The tips of Breana's fingers felt cold, and she shivered in the suddenly oppressive feeling of the night around them.
"I'm sorry. I shoulnae have asked that," Eoin said quickly. "I'll change me question. What—"
"Nay, I'll answer. I promised I would." Breana took a deep breath.
"Things are… Things have always been complicated with Nessa.
I believe there's good in her somewhere, I do, but I dinnae ken if we could ever dig deep enough tae find it.
Maeve and I always protected each other, but Nessa…
as soon as she was old enough tae understand, she turned her back on us.
She never helped us, and never welcomed our company.
She always obeyed everythin' our parents wanted, and was always our father's favorite.
She wouldnae risk herself tae save either one of us, if the positions were reversed. "
She glanced at Eoin, expecting condemnation in his gaze. Instead, he was just watching her, a sad expression in his eyes. "So ye think there's nae hope for her, then?" he asked softly.
"I dinnae ken," Breana admitted miserably.
"I hope I'm wrong. But I ken I cannae trust her nae tae turn against us for now.
I ken that if we go tae her, we could ruin our whole mission, and maybe even turn the tide against our rebellion if she remains loyal tae the False King.
I–we… cannae risk it. Nae now. One day, maybe, when things are more secure, one day I'll be able tae find her again.
But for now, I need tae keep that door closed. "
She thought that Eoin might argue, but instead he simply nodded, then held out the bow. "Yer turn."
On her next turn, Breana hit the target but missed the bullseye. They passed the bow back and forth, none hitting the center, until at last, on her third turn, Breana managed to hit her mark.
"Aha!" she exclaimed, triumphant.
Eoin smiled. "I'm waitin'."
She turned to him, considering carefully what she wanted to know. She realized that there was only one thing that had been bothering her, one truth that he had been keeping from her that she needed an answer to.
"Why have ye kept volunteerin' for the most dangerous missions, Eoin?" she asked. "Why have ye stopped leadin' like ye used to, and instead started puttin' yerself at risk over and over again?"
Eoin seemed startled by the question. Then he sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I–I have a lot tae make up for, Breana. I need tae atone for me father's failures, and for failin' tae protect people from him."
"Do ye think I must atone for me father's failures?" Breana challenged. "If not, why are ye any different?"