Chapter 64
64
EVANGELINE
I woke alone with the faint light of dawn filtering through the narrow gap in the heavy drapes, my muscles hurting and sluggish. My head throbbed, and my arms burned with a tight, burning pain, like I’d been lifting weights. I rubbed my temples, trying to piece together the fragments of nightmares that clung to the edges of my mind.
Had I been dreaming?
Was this another dream?
Truthfully, it was getting harder to tell, drifting from one strange scene into the next, all of them having this strange, eerie sense of wrongness.
Riordan, possessed by some ancient entity. A blood circle, erupting in flames.
Wandering cold, dark halls whispered at the edge of my consciousness, but the image slipped away like smoke every time I tried to hold onto it. Male laughter, skating over my skin like razors.
My pale hand outstretched before me in front of a small door, words I didn’t recognize spilling out of my mouth.
On my bedside table, dew dripped off the rose petals onto the lacquered wood, so dark red they were almost black, the heady smell filling the room. There were so many, an armful, each one perfect, as if someone had taken to all night to select each and every one.
I tossed off the covers and inspected my knees. Healed.
My feet…good as new. Chalk one up for vampire healing powers.
Shaking off the unease, I dressed and made my way down through the unusually busy castle, the staff bustling around, setting vases of fresh flowers on every table, cleaning windows, polishing furniture.
Bex stopped me in the hall, shoving a cup of coffee into my waiting hands. “Lady…Evangeline, sorry, I know I’m not supposed to say that, but habit and everything…anyway, Lady Fiona arrived an hour ago. I told her you weren’t awake, but she insisted on waiting. I didn’t know where to put her, but since the king is out this morning, she’s in his study. I hope that’s alright?”
“That’s perfect, Bex, thank you.” All around me everything went quiet, the hum of activity dulled as if everyone were holding their breath, waiting to see what I did next. I took a long, dreamy sip of coffee. “How is Angel today?” I murmured. “I keep meaning to see her, but it’s either too late or too early…”
“She’s good, Miss Evangeline.” Bex’s smile was gentle, nonjudgmental, and for some reason, tears pricked the back of my eyelids because of that. “I keep trying to fix her up with her donors, but…I suppose only time will heal what’s broken.”
“I suppose.” Bex turned away, but I caught her hand. “Thank you, Rebecca. For everything. for being there for Angel. For doing the things I…can’t.”
“I’m not the one trying to keep this clan afloat.” Her brown eyes flashed. “I know, and Angel knows, why you’re not sitting around reading books and drinking tea, so don’t feel guilty.” She grinned. “Now don’t forget about Lady Fiona, because I sure wouldn’t want to get on her bad side.”
I found Fiona waiting in Riordan’s study, poring over that painting of Angel and Tyrell with a curl of distaste. She looked over as I entered, her expression shifting to curiosity—then something sharper.
“Evangeline,” she greeted, setting her book aside. “I hadn’t heard from you, so I decided to come in person and ask, did you find someone to help you unbind your magic?”
I froze, staring down at her. “Unbind my what ?”
She frowned slightly, studying me with that penetrating gaze of hers. “The other day you came by and asked if it was possible if you had magic. I tested you and found your power had been bound some time ago. You mentioned looking for a witch. Did you find one?”
“I... I didn’t...” My voice faltered helplessly, thoughts and words tripping over themselves as an insidious chill ran down my spine. “I couldn’t have seen you. I haven’t seen you since the night you…” I paused, trying to remember when I had last seen Fiona.
I came up blank, swallowed up by another one of those strange black holes.
Yet I was sure I’d seen her recently, so sure I could almost… almost picture it. Flowers doused in flames, a gleaming golden jewel, sparkling in the sun. I rubbed my throbbing temples.
Her yellow eyes were so close I could see the wheels turning in her mind. “Are you certain?”
“Yes,” I muttered quickly, too quickly. “You must be mistaken. I’m sure I’d remember coming to see you. I mean, you must be thinking of someone else.”
Fiona gave me another penetrating look, but didn’t press further. Instead, she pulled away, her expression unreadable. “ If you say so. I have to return home; I have much to do today. The king has asked me to help him reset the castle wards.”
“We appreciate your help, Lady Fiona.” I told her earnestly, even though I had a hard time remembering how, exactly, she’d helped us. “And I hope…I hope we can be friends, in time.”
The strangest expression came over her face. “That is truly what you hope for?” she asked curiously, some of the coldness draining from her face. “For us to be friends?”
“I would like that. I’ve never really…” I cleared my throat. “Had a lot of friends.” Any friends , that’s what I’d been about to say, but damn, that sounded pathetic.
And looking at Fiona…this woman didn’t do pathetic.
“Then consider me a friend, Evangeline.” With a curt nod, she dematerialized, and I didn’t know how long I stood there, staring at that empty space, searching through the empty holes in my memories, but it was certainly too long.
I found Riordan in the main hall by one of the tall windows, gazing out at the grounds. The light caught the planes of his face, the strong line of his jaw, his sharp cheekbones, turning him into a piece of art. When he turned and smiled, there was a fragile vulnerability to his haunted expression that made my chest tighten.
And something about that fragility instantly turned me on edge.
Part of me wanted to cross that space between us and throw myself against him, the other part…hated seeing him so weak. A festering sort of anger kindled, then grew, like an out-of-control wildfire.
He hurt you. He should be punished. See, he’s too weak to be king. Words that were not my own rattled around in my head, the most awful things, but before I could stop them, some took root.
I didn’t know how long we stayed like that.
Me, staring at Riordan, staring out the window, but in the minute, maybe two, that we stood frozen, everything inside me shifted.
He despises you. That little voice murmured. He pretends to love you, but he’s only using you. Just wait. Once he has his kingdom and his crown, he’ll kick you to the curb. No king wants a turned human for his queen, especially not someone weak and magicless.
“You could say something.” I said, my tone harsher than I intended, like someone was putting words in my mouth. Thoughts in my head .
He turned to me, his brow furrowing. “Good morning, Evangeline. Is everything alright?”
The way he said it—so formal, so distant—sent my temper flaring. “Even after last night, you’re still acting like we’re strangers,” I snapped. “Like last night meant nothing.”
Riordan’s eyes darkened, “I’m not acting…” His lips thinned out. “What’s wrong? Has something happened, Evie?”
“Don’t call me that,” I shot back, my voice rising. “You can go back to calling me Silver, like you did when you were using me.” Where were these words even coming from? Why was I so angry? I didn’t even want to be angry, yet I was inexplicitly…furious.
He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. “What do you want from me? I’m doing my best to?—”
“To what?” I interrupted, my heart pounding, like I was running a marathon. “To pretend everything’s fine? How do you plan to use me next, Riordan? As a thief or an assassin, or will you toss me aside once you win your kingdom? ”
“Stop twisting my words,” he growled, his patience clearly fraying as he spread his hands. “If you want to fight, then we’ll fight, but this…I don’t even know what this is.”
“You want to fight? Then explain why you lied to me about all our allies abandoning us? I nearly got myself killed because I assumed we didn’t have any options, only to find out you didn’t trust me enough to let me in on your little secret.” I even did air quotes on that last part, some distant part of me aghast at my own behavior.
“Is that what the fuck this is about? We had… have a traitor in our midst.” Riordan bore down on me. “We had to make a calculated play to draw them out.” Before he could say another word, I turned on my heel and walked away, my chest heaving with the weight of unshed tears.
Riordan watched me leave, the weight of his stare on me until I turned the corner.
Every part of me was confused and sweaty and strung out, like I was a puppet, yanked in different directions. My insides turned cold, my sweaty hands kept clenching and I couldn’t make myself calm down.
Was I losing my mind?
I found Blake in the dining hall, nursing a cup of coffee. He shot me a wry grin. “Too much wine last night, though….” He raked me up and down with a heated gaze, wetting his bottom lip. “I wouldn’t trade what we did for all the…” His expression changed as he took in my expression.
“What’s happened?” he asked, setting his cup down.
“Riordan happened,” I muttered, sinking into the chair opposite him. “He’s so... I don’t know. He makes me so…angry. I’m so mad right now, for no reason.” I sighed, rubbing my aching head. “Every time I think we can be…happy, he just…” I felt tears prick at my eyes. “He acts like he doesn’t even care. ”
Blake’s expression darkened, his shadows flickering around us with that dangerous edge. “Rohr loves you, Evie. Where is this coming from? This isn’t like you.”
I shook my head, those tears now spilling free. “I can’t keep doing this, Blake. He can’t keep treating me like I’m nothing to him.” Blake’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, he looked like he was debating storming out to confront Riordan.
A shiver of pleasure went through me at that dark, forbidding look and all the misery it promised, at the tension brewing in the air.
Good girl. Very, very good . A satisfied male voice crooned inside my head and my fingers gripped the edge of the table.
“Tell me how you feel right now, Evie.” Blake pried my hand off the table, turned my arm so my palm faced up. “You haven’t slept, you haven’t eaten, you’re white as a ghost.”
“This is about Riordan, not me.” A hint of peevish aggravation crept into my voice and I yanked my hand from Blake’s. “I don’t want to talk about how I feel.”
Blake’s eyes narrowed. “Why not? If Riordan really did something wrong, tell me how you feel.”
I blinked in confusion. I didn’t feel anything. Nothing . Like my emotions were shut down, smothered beneath some insane urge to see the males I loved… fight ?
No, more than fight. I wanted them to go to war .
As if he sensed my inner struggle, Blake squeezed my hand. “What if I told you I would pound Riordan into the ground?” He murmured, his voice low and deadly, “Now what do you feel?”
Vicious, triumphant elation.
Then confusion washed through me, followed by a spike of horror. No, I didn’t want any of those things…and yet…somewhere deep inside me…somebody did. The voice did.
“Blake, I don’t know what…” The click of footsteps made us turn, and Riordan appeared in the doorway, his dark expression focused on me with an intensity that made me whither into a ball of misery.
“There you are,” Riordan said, his tone clipped as he looked between us. “We need to talk.” I went to stand up, but Rohr shook his head. “Not you, Silver, I need to speak to Blake.”
“We do,” Blake said, standing. His voice was calm, but the tension crackling in the air was undeniable, and that little shiver of pleasure returned. “Because I have a few things to say to you too.”
The two of them stared each other down, their magic simmering beneath the surface.
I watched them leave, and the second they were out of sight, my body went boneless. I dropped my coffee cup, which shattered all over the floor, but I was shaking too badly to pick up the pieces.