Chapter 19
FEYRA
Dion disappeared up the rocky stairs before I’d even made it off the bank of the oasis. I scrambled to the desert floor moments later and came upon him kneeling by Roman’s side.
“Don’t touch me,” Roman said. “Don’t.”
“But–”
“No! It’s the only way we’ll reach Jebra.”
I gasped in horror. Roman’s eyes were melting out of the sockets in his face. A twin prong sat by the fire, red hot and sizzling with blood. He’d blinded himself.
Dion yelled in anger and stormed away. Roman was tense, keeping his body as still as possible so that it could begin healing itself. The bleeding had already stopped, and his flesh was now red and raw, stretched over the places where his eyes had been.
“He understands,” he said. “That’s the worst part.”
“The worst?” I asked
He nodded sadly. “Know too little and you’re dead, know too much and you freeze. And knowing enough burdens you with decision.”
“You had to do this?” I knelt beside him, gazing at his hideously burned face.
“If there’s anything I’ve learned in my life, and most definitely raising Dion, what you need to do and what you want to do are two different things. Prophecies make you aware of that.”
“What does burning your eyes out really achieve though?” I asked.
He took a deep breath as his flesh began to scar and pale. “The one to truly find Jebra will never see it.”
“But you said you’d been there?” I said. “You told Dion that!” Anger and betrayal rose in me. My blood started to race.
“I have,” he replied. “In my dreams. One can go many places in dreams.”
He whispered the last part, as if he knew of the odd dreams I’d been having.
“I have crossed this desert many times in my life, and many more with Dion. But the full journey to Malwreith has only been undertaken here.” He tapped his head.
“One can live for eternity in a single lifetime if one is willing to live every day fully. Not all possess the want. The magic of what we are, of what many people were, has disappeared with Lady Skol’s dominion.
” He smiled at me then. “You were hidden away for so long. But home you go.”
The anger left me, suddenly it wasn’t the winds of the wasteland that were cold. He had read my letter. “What do you mean?”
Roman took the fire poker and began adjusting the embers without seeing them. He picked up a piece to burn for a long time and crushed the ornate tower he’d built before.
“I was born with the gift of foresight, an odd thing for a werewolf to possess—in any day and age. Under Lady Skol many werewolves have lost their abilities, sheer repression, some have even been unaware of them. You yourself were unaware until your letter.”
“So you read it?”
“I didn’t need to, like I said, my foresight has gifted much about you.
” Roman frowned. “But to anyone, any shifter, your presence alone shows the bloodline you’re from.
Dion and I knew what you were before you even knew.
It was so strong despite being dormant.” He adjusted his seat.
“Do you know why Lady Skol has the Hall of Order?”
“It’s not to track dormant shifters?” I said.
He chuckled. “Behind those walls and gilded doors, those self-righteous monks, are Siren Singers. The very monster that terrorized Moondaj upon our leaving. The very thing you saw Dion kill–”
I had heard it. That was the loud screeching during the werewolf’s rampage. “Before I escaped Lassig, a werewolf went on a rampage in the Hall of Order. It killed many guards and inspectors–”
“Surely not,” Roman said, shocked. “You’re joking?”
“I swear,” I said.
“But it’s impossible. The Siren Singer was specifically made with Lady Skol’s dark magic. She bred merls with people. She–she specifically–”
“I heard it,” I said, taking his hand gently.
Roman stilled at my gesture. “Then the world has already shifted. I need to think about this,” he said.
“If you’ll excuse me for my rudeness, I need to lie down.
” Roman stood and went towards the tent.
“When he comes back,” he paused, staring at the flames, “he’ll understand. He won’t want to, but he will.”
He disappeared and I didn’t know what he meant, was it about me or his own actions?
How much could Roman guess about me from his foresight? Did he understand my prophecy, including the second part about love? I sat watching the embers burning up the piece of wood. Did I even know everything?
A howl rose in the night. Up on the cliff face that was connected to the rise, the moon framed a wolf. A large hulking alpha that was arching its back and calling into the night. Dion. Sorrow poured from him… pain, anger, but also, love.
I felt him reach out to me. His warmth spread throughout my body and into my heart. I reached back, and had the best sleep I’d ever had.
The next few weeks seemed quick as we crossed the desert.
Despite not being able to see, Roman led us across the wastelands as good as he had for the last few weeks.
He knew where every camp spot was before we arrived, where the drinking wells and oases were.
He knew when there was danger before it even arrived.
If I hadn’t watched the flesh in his eye sockets stitch itself back together, I never would have believed he was blind.
I was depressed from the deaths of my two best friends, Aunt Teetee and Agatha. Both had died painful and horrible deaths that I vowed Lady Skol would pay for. Because she was always on my mind too. Just as Roman had said, dreams had a magic of their own, and I’d continued to have more of them.
It was generally the same dream. I was on a terrace, Dion would come to me as a king, and Lady Skol would feed me poison.
Sometimes I couldn’t wake from the dream and would experience Lady Skol pouring the poison down my throat.
I would buck and writhe, feel the poison in my stomach burning me.
Only to be awoken by Dion. His face would be full of worry, then relief once I awoke.
I thought of Roman’s warning, he must’ve known more about my prophecy.
But despite knowing it, and knowing the secondary one, I couldn’t help but fall in love with Dion.
He was so considerate and curious. After the first week of travel and the excitement had worn off, he began to teach me about shifting.
He explained why my first shift had been so dangerous.
Why they’d needed to drug me, and the risk of my health without my induced sleep.
He said it was because of my strength that it was important to have controlled me.
Which was odd to me. Sure I was mentally strong, but physically? I was a dainty woman. I had herbalists’ hands. Gentle hands. Life giving hands. Not murderous paws and hulking size. I was a girl convinced that she was on the bottom, when my blood proclaimed me as an Alpha of the highest order.
This all led into self-defense lessons too.
In the evenings, after we’d stopped traveling for the day and Roman was thinking before dinner, he would take me through a handful of maneuvers and tricks.
Nothing that would make me a master, but a few things that might save my hide given certain situations.
As hard as we worked, I found it incredibly hot.
I got to see him topless every day, see him sweating, feel his strong body against mine when he was holding me to demonstrate something.
With every cell in my brain telling me not to love him, all I could do was fall further.
I couldn’t control my prophecy and fate, but neither could I my heart.
Was it this, that Roman had warned me of? That Dion would understand if he found out?
I didn’t want to risk it.
One evening I awoke in the small hours. Grunting and growling were happening outside the tent, restrained barks, and scratching.
I ran outside to find Roman beside a large wolf dreaming on the ground.
It was Dion. He lay beside the fire, twitching and growling.
His fangs were bared and jaws gnashing. He looked like violence personified.
Roman was beside him, a hand on his throat, reciting words into the night.
My foot caught a tent rope and I tripped.
Roman snapped out of his stance straight away and Dion awoke, rising to his pads and roaring at me. His fangs dripped lather and I knew this was my end. My body didn’t even react. I didn’t shift, nor could I feel that I would.
Dion stalked forward.
He was going to kill me.
My prophecy hadn’t lied.
I closed my eyes and reached out with my heart. I put up a hand to touch his fur. I fully expected him to bite it off…instead, he placed his muzzle against my palm.
I opened my eyes to find him rubbing his head against my palm. The murder in his eyes receded. The pain echoing out from his heart left. Soon, he was just a man again, asleep by the fire.
Roman nodded, like another prophecy had been proved. I fetched a blanket for Dion and laid it over his naked body. Roman thanked me, then asked that I never tell Dion of what I’d seen.
I said that I wouldn’t tell him, but wondered why.
After three weeks, we came upon a similar oasis and jutting rise like our first camp. A jagged cliff face led down from a range, disappearing into the harsh sands we’d been trekking through, before rising and opening up to a hidden pool below.
The rise and cliff face were like that of a soaring eagle. At the angle in which I stood, the wings spread out from what looked like the tip of the horizon to the end of the rise. In the middle, up in the ranges, a twin peak was the eagle's beak. Open to swallow the setting sun.
That’s what the letter had stated.
I walked further from camp for a better view when my foot missed a step.
I was falling–
An arm caught me. Then lifted me easily back up. Dion turned me around as he did, carrying me away from the edge.
His heart was a thunderous drum. His arms taught and tanned from the weeks of riding and training. His eyes looked at me like crescent jewels. He was the king I saw in my dreams.
“Gotta be careful Fey,” he said. “It’s a bit of a drop there.”
He didn’t let me go; I didn’t want him to.
“I was so focused on the eagle.”
Dion smiled. “It’s a good thing I was focused on you then.”
I blushed. I buried myself in his shoulder to hide my face. Only this was worse, as I then smelled him and felt his strong muscles. His heart beat louder.
I looked up, my lips parting. “You’re excited?” I asked innocently.
He came closer. “I’ve been excited since I met you in that square.”
He kissed me.
The softest lips, yet firmest kiss. Our bodies surged with power, our hearts reaching out. Everything I’d ever dreamed of about him. Everything I’d ever wanted. Being rejected had made this all the better. Wanting him for so long…
I grabbed his strong arms in my hands and kissed harder. His hands began roving over me, searching and feeling. In the shade of the eagle eating the sun, we shared our souls.
I wanted to transform. I knew I could. I wanted to run as a wolf and let him mark me. I wanted to do what I wished back in that square almost two months ago. I wanted to be his.
And he wanted me. I could see the passion on his face. Feel it in his crotch. The heat coming off us... Our breaths heavy… We were ready to–
A whistle came from above, at the Eagle’s Wingtip.
“Jeeeeebraaaaa!” Roman called.