Chapter Fifteen
Neil was disappointed by my restaurant choice once again.
We’d finished up with Greta and decided to do a quick group lunch before making the drive back to Woodspring, and they’d all
deferred to me to pick the spot thanks to my dietary requirements.
We stood in a line, staring up at the options on the menu board.
“Salad, salad, and oh look, more salad,” Neil complained.
“You haven’t eaten at a Green Street before?” Hailey asked him.
“Do I look like I fit in here?”
She paused to eyeball him. “Actually, you do. The cap and tattoos are sort of the vibe.”
“They have paninis,” I added. “And you can do a custom built salad and make it like, all of the meats if you want. I’m definitely
going heavy on the grilled chicken in mine.”
I’d learned that Neil’s grumbling was performative. Despite the fact that the three of them were interlopers in my life, it
already felt like we were a team. I wanted everyone to be happy.
“Meat salad? Now you’re talking,” Neil answered.
I moved to the end of our group’s line, to get a temperature read from Mel.
“How do you think it’s going so far?” I asked her under my breath. “Did I do okay back there?”
“Oh, totally. This profile is going to be amazing,” she reassured me. “I could see the monitor and it looked like Neil knows
his shit.”
“At least one of them does,” I said glumly.
“Hey, don’t sell Ben short, he asked Greta some really insightful questions while you were changing. He has a vision, I think.”
“I hope it’s more than ‘watch this loser try again,’” I joked.
“Okay, stop,” she scolded me. “Don’t even allow those types of thoughts into your head. And there’s no way that’s going to be their angle,
if Ben has anything to say about it.” She gave me a raised eyebrow look that begged me to ask what she meant.
The line moved so I ignored her.
“You haven’t noticed?” Mel craned her neck and leaned closer to me. She lowered her voice. “He looks at you like he’s in love
with you.”
I swiveled to make sure no one could’ve overheard her. “Mel, don’t. Okay? I’m not in the headspace to even think about going there again—” I broke off abruptly.
She jerked back, eyes wide with shock. “I’m sorry, what? Going where again, and with whom? What are you not telling me?”
It was the shrillest whisper-scold I’d ever heard. I tried to come up with a juke as we inched forward in line.
“Entanglements,” I sputtered with my hands in front of me like it was obvious. “You know I can’t lose my focus. And Ben of all people? Ew. No thank you, I’m not one of his conquests.”
She watched me skeptically. “Agreed that you need to stay focused, but methinks you doth protest too much about him. He’s
a really good guy.”
“Okay? And?” I shrugged a shoulder and pretended to study the menu even though I knew what I wanted.
“Fine, point taken,” Mel said. “I just thought you should know that he’s looking out for you, so you can relax.”
“I’m totally relaxed,” I snapped back at her.
Ben, Neil, and Hailey glanced at me in unison. I ignored them.
I was the last person to join them at the table, because I’d purposely ordered a green smoothie that took longer than the
rest of the menu items. When I got there, Ben was talking to someone on the phone. He and Mel gave me tight-mouthed smiles
that telegraphed their stress.
“What?” I asked Mel in a quiet voice as I sat down beside her.
“He’s talking to your mom. About the home visit.”
Hailey was fully dialed in to what was happening, unlike Neil, who was downing a surprisingly green salad like it was his
last meal. I wasn’t sure if she was paying close attention because Ben had hinted that there was drama with my mom, or because
he was being weird during the call.
Which, talking to my mom, wasn’t that hard to do.
“Right.” He glanced at me with an apologetic look. “Of course, I totally understand that you also have a very busy schedule.
But I thought we had a date nailed—”
He broke off to listen and I could just make out the contours of her voice bleeding through the phone. It was enough to make
me lose my appetite.
The four of us stared at Ben as he tried to get a word in.
“No, Kim didn’t mention your upcoming vacation. What an itinerary! First the Maldives then Italy for the Games. Take me with you!”
My mom’s laughter was loud enough to be heard over the neo-soul soundtrack in the restaurant.
“Okay,” Ben nodded. “Yup, we’re sticking to the schedule we agreed to, so I’m glad it still works for you. We’re all very
excited for this part of the show.”
I moved my fork through my salad like it was an oar in the water. It was one of my old tricks, to make people think that I
was actually eating.
“You want to talk to Quinn?” Ben’s face clouded over. “She’s uh . . .”
I gave him an imperceptible shake of the head then stood up. “I need to grab more napkins.”
“She just left,” Ben said. “Should I have her call you back?”
I took my time at the utensil station, waiting until Ben’s phone was facedown on the table again.
“What did she want?” I asked when I rejoined them. “And how did she get your number?”
I couldn’t tell if the haze of tension around the table was real or just my overactive imagination. After all, my mom did
a great job of performative caring, so most people had no idea why I’d left her in the dust for my comeback.
But of course, Ben knew everything. And Mel knew plenty about her, so 50 percent of the table understood that a call from
Tricia was a Trojan horse.
“Kim gave her my number so we could finalize the details of the home visit. She wanted to check in to make sure we knew about
their upcoming vacation, in case there was a conflict.” Ben raised an eyebrow at me.
“Okay,” I replied. “Did the schedule change?”
“Nope,” Ben replied. “Everything is set in stone, so you have nothing to worry about. Zero deviations from what we all agreed to.”
I gave him a grateful smile, because I could tell that he was trying to keep me steady. He knew firsthand how critical it
was to stay sane and scheduled in the lead-up to the Games. Of course, the trip home was going to cancel out the first half
of the equation, but at least I felt like I had an ally in Ben.
“That’s when again?” Hailey pulled out her phone. “We need to watch flights since the weather is getting dicey.”
“In two weeks,” Ben replied. “We’ll be flying in from Manhattan and Quinn will meet us in Hartford.”
“Aw, it’ll be a mini reunion before Italy.” She tapped out the details on her phone.
“Something like that,” I muttered.
“I’ll be with you in spirit,” Mel added. “Childcare didn’t line up for me to take the time away. Sorry.”
She bumped her shoulder against mine because she knew how challenging the trip was going to be. It wasn’t lost on her that
her skipping the trip was probably better for all of us, so she wouldn’t be subjected to my mom’s jealous sniping-with-a-smile.
Neil finally looked up from his phone. “Anyone want to see the rough footage from today? Because what I shot is god-tier.”
“What you shot was under Ben’s direction,” Hailey corrected him. “Give him some credit.”
Neil’s mouth twisted as he considered it. “I mean, Ben has a vision, sure, but he’s not DP on this shoot or anything. I went
to film school, you know.”
“Yeah, as if you’d let us forget it,” Hailey griped quietly.
“I’m not trying to block your creative impulses,” Ben said quickly. “It’s just that I’ve been where Quinn is sitting and I know what I think works with this type of storytelling.”
Neil sniffed. “Kim not being here is giving you a lot of leeway. Normally the host is just a talking head.”
“Yeah, but he’s way more than a host,” I said, insulted on Ben’s behalf. “He’s an athlete, plus being on the other side of the camera for years
and years gives you a unique perspective.”
“I guess?” Neil laughed. “So when Ben tells me he wants you in focus and the background hazy, at least I know he’s looking for a shallow depth of field shot with a wide aperture. Kim would be able to tell me what f-stop to use.
This guy doesn’t even know what one is.”
I held my breath and watched Ben’s expression as he considered how to respond. My baggage was more than enough tension on
the shoot. We didn’t need to layer crew drama on top of it. He took a full thirty seconds, chewing slowly with his eyes trained
on Neil.
“You’re one hundred percent right,” he finally said. “I’m an athlete who’s out of my depth, you’re the auteur.”
Neil gave him a satisfied nod.
“But I do know how it feels to be filmed with shitty light or weird angles,” Ben continued. “I know how it feels to fight back during
aggressive gotcha interviews with hosts who have an attitude about me. I’ve gotten the most ridiculous, invasive questions
during what were supposed to be puff pieces. And you can bet I’ve had plenty of villain edits that totally distorted my perspective,
especially after some of my questionable stuff with the authorities. So no, I didn’t go to film school, and I’m not exactly
sure what an aperture is for, but I know firsthand that this interview is a gift to our audience from Quinn, during a critical
time frame. That means I’m going to do everything in my power to keep her happy, safe, and protected.”
No one said a word, or even moved after he finished his soliloquy. I didn’t realize that my jaw was hanging open until it snapped shut of its own accord.
“Well, we appreciate it, Ben,” Mel finally said. “As you know, focus is critical in the lead-up.”
“Yep, I do indeed. That’s why I’ve got three gold medals hanging up in my office,” he said.
He’d flipped from the Ben I’d encountered by the bonfire in Switzerland to the one the rest of the world was acquainted with
in seconds. I wasn’t sure if it was a flex for Neil specifically, or just him settling back into his true form.
It didn’t matter, because I was slowly coming to realize that maybe both sides could exist within him.