Chapter 22 #3
“It’s like the notebooks she keeps for herself. She wants you to take it with you and write down your recipes in it… so you can teach her next time you see each other. And she says it won’t take long before that happens.”
My heart clenches so tightly it hurts to breathe. I hug her without thinking, resting my cheek on her shoulder.
“Thank you for everything,” I whisper. “Meeting you, and your family, is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”
When we pull back, she cups my face and says something else in Italian.
“There are many more good memories with us yet to come,” Alexander translates.
Then she turns to her son, Giorgio, and says something else. He calls for his son, Giovani, who disappears for a moment and comes running back, dragging two suitcases behind him. One enormous, the other smaller.
Giorgio sets the suitcases down in front of me with an air of finality.
“They’re for you and your family,” he says in his thick accent. “And no refusing. We get very offended when gifts are turned away.”
They had already given me little keepsakes during my stay, but I know better than to argue now. Whatever is inside these suitcases was chosen with care... and with love. So I do the only thing I can. I thank them with my whole heart.
Everyone walks us outside. As Alexander guides the car down the drive, they all lift their hands and call out together:
“A presto, Cecily!”[LXIV]
And I wave back through my smile, already missing them.
“We’re here,” Alexander says, pulling me back to the present. Only then do I realize the car has already come to a stop beside the jet.
“Are... are you coming?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
He lifts my hand and presses a kiss to my fingers. “Sì, tesoro.”
When he opens the door for me, he reaches out his hand. I take it and lace my fingers through his tightly. At the top of the stairs, I stop and look back one last time at the Pisa sky.
Inside, the flight crew greets us warmly and I manage a smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. I notice when Alexander doesn’t turn where I expect him to, leading me farther down the aisle. I barely register the details of the cabin; my thoughts are tangled, my mind racing a mile a minute.
He stops at a door near the back of the aircraft and opens it, stepping aside for me to go first. I enter a private suite. Spacious. Bathed in the gentle light of wide oval windows. There’s a bed at the center and, just beyond it, an ensuite bathroom lined in marble.
Alexander closes the door, isolating us from the crew.
“You can sleep here later, once it’s safe,” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “You barely slept at all in the last twenty-four hours.”
He sweeps my hair aside and traces the line of my neck with the bridge of his nose. “How am I supposed to survive without breathing you in every day?”
I feel the pull of his inhale, and my eyes flutter shut.
“I should’ve stolen more than just your dress,” he adds, a smile in his voice as he turns me in his arms. “Something to keep your scent with me.”
I look at him. “Which dress, Mr. Santoro?”
“The blue one,” he says, that crooked smile playing at his mouth. “The one with the thin straps you wore downstairs the morning after our first night.”
The same dress he nearly tore from me when he carried me upstairs after tasting me on the kitchen island.
I shake my head, laughing. “You really are impossible.”
His hand comes up to cradle my face and he kisses me. Then he guides me to the bed, and we sit side by side on the edge, facing each other.
“How are we going to do this from here on out, Alexander?”
He takes my left hand and turns my palm upward, then presses a kiss to the inside of my wrist, the way he’s done so many times these past weeks.
It already feels like a language we invented together.
When I asked him why once, he’d said it was because if he stayed there long enough, he could almost feel my heart beating.
“We’ll make it work,” he says, holding my hand. “As long as you want me, nothing is impossible.”
His thumb brushes over my skin. “I know what we lived these weeks doesn’t erase your fears. Or mine. Especially after everything you’ve been through. It doesn’t work that way in real life. But what I feel for you is stronger than fear.”
I swallow. “You say you’re afraid, but I don’t even know what you’re afraid of. You already know all my fears.”
He nods and closes his eyes. “I’m afraid you’ll go home and realize this was only a moment,” he says quietly.
“Like those romances that burn brightly and disappear as soon as summer ends...” His mouth tilts into a sad smile.
“Except ours happened in autumn. I’m afraid your life, or your fears, will be louder than this. And that one day... you’ll forget me.”
I climb onto my knees on the mattress and cradle his face between my hands. “No,” I say, my voice leaving no room for doubt. “Never.”
I kiss him deeply, showing him just how much I mean it. “Alexander, I know I gave you reasons to doubt. I know the way I held back before is part of what you’re feeling now.” My forehead rests against his. “But I swear to you... that won’t happen again.”
He searches my eyes for a moment, then pulls me into him. The kiss that follows steals my breath and tangles us together until I no longer know where he ends and I begin.
When I sit back down, I can still see something unsettled in his eyes.
“What else?” I ask.
His thumb draws circles over my wrist as he searches my face. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
He hesitates, then exhales. “Your ex-husband. Is there any possibility of the two of you finding your way back to each other?”
“No,” I answer without pause.
He studies me for a long second. “You can be honest with me. I know these things aren’t always black and white. You built a life together... So if there’s even a small chance—”
I hold his gaze until he knows I won’t sugarcoat anything. “There is no chance.” I lace my fingers through his and squeeze gently. “The only way that would ever happen is if I lost my memory and forgot everything about this year. And even then... only if I never saw you again.”
He goes completely still.
“Because the moment I did,” I continue, “I know some part of me would recognize you. Even without memory or history.”
Relief finally shows on his face.
“I will never regret what I lived with Colin,” I say. “For a time, it was our story. From it came Ethan and Alicia, and I love my children more than anything.”
I take a breath before finishing. “It’s for them that I keep the peace and didn’t erase him from my life. But he will never be more to me than their father.”
Alexander releases a breath.
“There it is. That was the knot in my chest.”
“That part was easy. But what about the distance?”
He gestures to the space around us and smiles.
“Alexander, I’m serious.”
He pulls me onto his lap, and I straddle him, my hands resting on his shoulders.
“I know,” he says, cupping my face. “And if you want me in New York... that’s where I’ll be.”
My throat tightens. “But your company in Milan—your family. You built your house here because of Nonna. New York is even farther than Milan and—”
“And you can keep pointing out the obstacles, and I’ll keep seeing them as reasons to change.” He kisses my forehead, his eyes locked on mine. “I can work from anywhere. I can see my family whenever I need to.”
His hands settle at my waist. “We don’t have to solve our entire lives right now. Let’s keep doing what we’ve been doing, one step at a time.”
Emotion swells in my chest until it almost aches. “I could never ask you to leave your family for me,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “You’re not asking. I’m offering. And I’m not leaving my family... I’m trying to add a few more to it.”
“A few?”
He pretends to think for a second. “Actually... four.” His thumb traces my cheek. “You. Ethan. Alicia. And your friend Mark. He’s like a brother to you… so he’s part of the deal.”
God... this man.
“I want to know every part of your life. Every person who matters to you. I want to be part of your world.” His voice deepens. “You just have to let me.”
I open my mouth to answer—and then there’s a knock at the door. The flight attendant tells us the doors need to close and we’ll be taking off soon.
Alexander cups my face in both hands.
“Listen. This week I’ll tie up a few things in Milan. Then comes the trip to Dubai I told you about. As soon as I close the deal, I’ll come back here for a few days. After that... there’s nothing holding me. Say the word and I’ll get on this jet and come to you. Wherever you are.”
He presses his forehead to mine. “Take your time. Call me. And we’ll finish this conversation there, once you’ve had space to breathe and think.
” He kisses my forehead and speaks against my skin, his voice rough.
“Don’t forget me, Cecilia... and please, don’t let fear be louder than us.
Remember what I did more than what I said.
I am the man you met here. You saw me. And I gave you all of me. ”
I slide my fingers into his hair and bring his face to mine. “I want you. More than you know. Don’t ever think otherwise. I just don’t want you to give up your life for me—”
He silences me with a swift kiss. “I’m not giving anything up. I’m choosing the life I want.”
Then he kisses me again, until my knees feel weak and the world narrows to nothing but him.
When we finally pull apart, he stands and straightens his trousers, muttering something under his breath with a crooked smile. He takes my hand, lacing his fingers through mine.
We leave the suite together. He kisses my forehead. The tip of my nose. My lips. “Don’t forget me, Cecilia.”
I hold his gaze, my vision swimming with tears, as I offer those same words to him in Italian. “Non scordarti di me, Alexander.”
“Mai.”[LXV]
He kisses me one last time and turns away.