Chapter 4
Maeve
My whole body is numb and cold, even with the fire blazing. All I can do is sit and stare into it and keep asking myself what bad things I’ve done that I deserve this punishment. I’ve always tried to be a good person. I would often work through my ten minute break so my co-worker Mary could go outside and hang out with her boyfriend while he was on his break. We had a daily quota to fill so I would stack extra cover plates so she’d reach hers.
I can sense Sage’s presence, but she hasn’t said anything more since she brought me in here. Or if she has, I haven’t heard it over the swishing sound in my ears. The flames in front of me dance and sway, and dark shadows fill the tent. Muffled sounds come from far away and slowly penetrate. There’s a light touch against my arm and I flinch.
“Maeve,” a voice whispers. “It’s me, London. Zara, Remi, and Sage are here too.”
Great. Apparently everyone gets to witness my mental breakdown. Beside me the furs move and someone sits close, but not touching. Same with the other side. Two bodies move in front of me blocking my view of the fire.
I blink, and London’s face comes into focus.
She reaches for me and hesitates. “I’m going to hold your hands, okay?”
I guess she takes my silence as permission, because her fingers close around mine. Warmth seeps into them. No one else speaks. We all sit there in the quiet. The only sound disturbing the air is the occasionally pop of the fire. I have no idea how much time passes before London speaks again.
“You don’t have to—and none of us will pressure you to—but will you tell us what happened?”
Do they mean before? Or tonight? Although I suppose one leads into the other. I’m not sure how I thought none of my secrets would ever come out. Then again, there’s no reason they should have. I could have just kept going with this new life. But no. Some higher power thought differently.
“My name isn’t Maeve Anderson,” the words spill out in a gravelly whisper. “It’s Katherine Waters. I’m from the factory sector. My friend Chelsea arranged for a new identity and a ticket on the Exodus Voyager.”
I pause, still not ready to finish my story. London squeezes my hands. “You don’t have to tell us anything else if you don’t want to.”
A rough laugh breaks through my throat. “I’ve told you this much. I might as well tell you the rest of it.”
This is the most I’ve spoken in over two months. I have to clear the scratchiness from my throat. “A year ago, the son of the factory CEO where I work—worked—caught me outside. Said he’d seen me one day when touring the facility with his father. For the next month, he flirted with me. Brought me small gifts. Made me think I was special. I suppose you can figure out what happens after that.”
“He seduced you.” Remi doesn’t phrase it as a question, but I nod anyway.
“I’d been alone for so long, and he paid special attention to me. I soaked every bit of it up.” I laugh, but it’s tinged with self-deprecation. “It took me a while to figure out I was only a novelty for him. Someone from the upper tier slumming it with someone from the bottom tier. He got possessive. If I tried going anywhere besides work, he wouldn’t let me. If I even mentioned someone else’s name, no matter who it was, he’d get angry. We fought all the time. I tried to break up with him, but he wouldn’t leave me alone.”
I have to take a breather to get through the rest. “At first, he just yelled and screamed at me. The first time he hit me, I threatened to go to the guards, and he laughed. Said no one would believe a bottomer like me. After he’d punched me a few too many times, his father found out through the whisper network at the factory. I believe his exact words were ‘if you need to keep her in line, make sure it’s not where people can see.’”
“What a cunt,” Zara, who sits beside London, spits out. She glances around at our wide-eyed stares. “Don’t look at me like that. You all were thinking the exact same thing.”
“Thanks, Zar.” I let go of one of London’s hand and squeeze hers.
“What made you decide to come to Tavikh?” Remi asks.
“Because my only other option was to stay on Earth and die. A week before we got my ticket, David showed up at my room. I told him to leave, but he didn’t listen. He pushed me inside, slammed the door closed, and then he—” I snap my mouth shut, not wanting to say any more, and I won’t meet anyone’s eyes. I had no desire to relive that night. “Anyway, he finally left. When I was able to drag myself out of bed, I commed Chelsea. She came over, got me cleaned up, and hid me in the upper tier where no one would think to look for me until I could get on the ship. And now…here I am.”
None of my friends speak and the silence lengthens. Finally, I look at London. Tears stream down her face. Zara’s too. In fact, they’re all crying except me. I’m not sure when the last time I had. Crying didn’t solve anything. London’s the first to move. Slowly, she gets to her knees and ever so gently gives me a hug. Another weight is added to that as more arms twine around me, until I’m surrounded by the people I love.
Minutes later, they release me and sit back. Remi strokes my hair. “It’s no wonder you don’t want to be mated to Benham.”
I don’t want to be mated to anyone.
“As someone who has spent the most time around the Tavikhi,” Sage speaks up. “I can tell you that Benham would never—none of them would—hurt you. I’m not saying you have to agree to the mating. I just thought it might ease your mind a little that, no matter what your decision is, you’re safe.”
I almost laugh. While I appreciate what she’s trying to say, we haven’t been safe since we landed on this planet.
“Nobody has to make any decisions tonight,” London says with the confidence she’s gaining in her position within the village of Shefira. “Everyone can try to get a good night’s sleep and things will look bet—different in the morning.”
At least she’s not trying to pretend that everything is going to be better. Someone smacks the door flap.
“London? Is all well inside?”
I’m surprised Zander waited this long to check on his mate. He’s rarely without her by his side. We joke they’re attached at the hip, but it isn’t far off. It gives me chills, even though I’ve never seen him raise his voice to her. She scrambles to her feet and pushes the flap open only enough to stick her head out. Their low tones reach me, but I can’t make out what they’re saying.
Zara reaches for my hands. “I’m not always an optimist, but everything’s going to be okay. One way or another. All right?”
I nod, although I don’t really believe it. London closes the hide door and returns to her place in front of me. “What do you guys think about a slumber party? The five of us staying up late—six if Eloise wants to join—talking about whatever we want to talk about? I’d say we could eat a bunch of junk food, too, but even on Earth we didn’t have that. Well, some of us didn’t. No offense Remi or Zara.”
“None taken,” Zara says with a half shrug. “I wasn’t allowed to have junk food. Everything I ate was carefully chosen to keep me at the optimal weight.”
Based on her use of air quotes with the last two words, I’m going to guess someone else said that to her. From hints she’s dropped, it was probably her parents. I glance around at my friends. Other than Sage, whose story no one knows, we all had pretty shitty lives back on Earth. I doubt a slumber party will make me feel better, but there’s a hopeful gleam in London’s eyes I don’t want to dash. She’s doing her best to cheer me up.
“A sleepover might be fun,” I try to sound enthusiastic.
“Excellent.” She claps her hands. “I’ll grab some extra furs from my tent and see if I can have Zander send someone out to bring us back some not-a-peaches.”
Remi moans. “Oh my god, yes, please.”
London laughs and gets up to leave, but I snag her hand. I stare up at her and at the others.“I’m really glad you guys are my friends.”
“Are you kidding?” Remi says. “We’re the lucky ones. No one can ask for a better friend than Maeve Anderson.”
One side of my mouth curls. “You know that’s not really my name, right?”
“It is to us,” Zara says with a careless shrug. “You may have been Katherine Waters before you stepped onto that ship, but the minute you crossed the threshold, you became Maeve. We don’t know who you used to be, and it doesn’t matter. We know who you are now, and you’re the sweetest, kindest, bravest, never-has-a-bad-thing-to-say-to anyone best friend any of us could ever have.”
Okay so maybe a good cry on occasion isn’t bad. Tears fill my eyes, but I swipe them away.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” London says. “Don’t start having fun without me.”
“We wouldn’t dream of it,” Remi replies with a bit too much playful sarcasm.
London narrows her eyes, and Remi gives her a not-so-innocent look. London shakes her head with a smile and walks out of the tent. Zara rifles around on her side of the tent and brings out the little case of stones we use to play Pebbles. We all groan good-naturedly, because if we’ve learned one thing over the last two months is that she makes up new rules of the game as she goes.
Maybe this sleepover will do me good. Something to take my mind off the Tavikhi warrior who scares the hell out of me.