Chapter 10
Piper
I scan the direction Katem walked off to, searching for him and hoping he returns soon. My nerves are a wreck . My knowledge of Tavikhi customs is practically non-existent. What if I commit some egregious mistake and it makes not only me, but Katem, look bad?
A warm hand clasps mine and I jerk my head up to find Nellora watching me. “You are safe and welcome here.”
I give her a shaky grin. “Is my fear that obvious?”
“Yes, but there is nothing to fear from any of us. Deeka has chosen well for Katem.”
A harsh breath escapes. “I’m not so sure.”
Nellora cocks her head. “What makes you say that? Do you think it is Katem who is not worthy or you who is not?”
“Oh, it’s definitely not Katem.” No way do I want her to think it’s him.
“He’s shown himself to be more than worthy.
Nearly perfect, in fact. It’s kind of annoying if I’m being honest. I mean, the only flaw I’ve found so far is how unruffled he is.
It’s like he doesn’t let anything bother him or make him mad. ”
“Ah, yes, I can understand this. My Gitesh is like this.” Nellora smiles, but it’s one that seems inherently sad. “Or at least he once was.”
I squeeze her hand. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you, but he is still among us. At least physically. His spirit will slip away soon. It has been holding on for far too long. I can feel it. Once that is gone, then I will join him. Our soul lights will find each other again in the lands of the goddess.”
Sorrow fills me. “Are you saying that when he dies, you will too?”
Nellora nods. “That is the way it is. Once ignited, our soul lights cannot survive without its mate’s. So, when one burns out, so does the other. But there is nothing to fear, because they are seared together for all eternity and will burn again when they are reunited.”
Does that mean when I die, Katem will as well?
“What about the humans? We don’t have soul lights, right? So, what if one of them dies? What happens to their mate?”
“We do not have that knowledge yet.”
The panic inside me builds. No! Katem can’t die. It’s not right. God, why did he have to touch me? This can’t be happening.
Strong hands grip my arms and my name is being called, but I can’t breathe. I can’t focus. Katem is probably going to die soon, and I’m the one to blame.
“Piper, look at me, keeshla. Look at me and breathe.”
Finally, the voice and words penetrate and my gaze focuses on the male in front of me. Katem’s face is marked with concern. He releases my arms and palms both sides of my head, staring deep into my eyes. “Breathe. All is well.”
Tears spill down my cheeks. “No, it’s not. Nothing is well anymore.”
“It is. On my honor, I swear.”
I slam my hands over his and clutch them so tight my nails burrow crescent shapes into his flesh. “It’s not. You aren’t supposed to die. It’s not fair.”
Katem lifts me into his arms and I bury my face against his neck, my tears soaking his skin, as he carries me somewhere.
I sob out my sorrows and curse whatever higher power decided my life was no longer worth living.
Worse, that Katem’s life is now irrevocably tied to mine, which has been significantly shortened.
Eventually, my sobs slow and my tears dry up. I don’t want to leave Katem’s embrace though. If only I could stay wrapped in his arms forever, ignoring the outside world and the fact I’m dying. I’ve tried accepting it, but I’m sometimes still in denial and also so damn angry.
Katem strokes my hair. Has anyone ever done that for me?
“I’m sorry.” I rub my face against his chest, nuzzling him and breathing in his scent.
“Never apologize for having strong emotions. They are what make us who we are.”
I draw back and wipe my nose. “Stop being so damn nice.” There’s no force to my words though.
Katem grins. “Do you really wish for that?”
“No.” I shake my head.
“I did not think so.” He thumbs away a stray tear that clings to my lashes. “I brought you food as well as one of my tribe brothers and sisters I wanted you to meet.”
I glance up in horrified silence at the younger Tavikhi-human couple who stands over us.
The large and impressive male stares at me with a good deal of fear, while the tiny human at his side looks at me with something close to understanding.
Frantically, I try to dry my face. “Oh, my god, I’m so embarrassed. ”
“Do not ever be ashamed of expressing your emotions, no matter how big or small they might be. Not ever.”
The woman crouches down. “I’ve had my own fair share of panic attacks. You won’t see any judgment from me or anyone else, I promise. I’m Maeve, by the way.”
She gives me her hand and I quickly swipe mine along my pants to dry it before giving it to her. “Piper.”
“Congratulations on your mating.” She gestures at the enormous Tavikhi who looms over us. “This is my mate, Benham. Ignore his cranky face, he always looks like that. But underneath the grumpy exterior, he’s a marshmallow.”
“Do not give all of my secrets away, keeshla,” Benham says in a gruff tone, but I could swear there’s a small hint of a grin he’s holding back.
To my surprise, some of the mortification fades. “It’s nice to meet you both. I’m still sorry you had to witness that.”
Maeve waves me off and rises with a smile. “Don’t think twice about it. Katem tells us you have a checklist of things you want to do and that Alesha is going to teach you pottery?”
“Yes. That’s why I’m here tonight. To talk with her, because she had some questions for me.”
“She’s a lovely female. Will treat you like a daughter.”
The thought warms me. It’s been far too long since I’ve had a mother.
“Thank you for being so kind to me.”
“You’re one of our tribe sisters, now,” Maeve says, like it should be so obvious. “When you’re feeling better, I’m happy to give you a tour of the village. Just have Katem set up a time.”
She takes Benham’s hand and the two of them leave.
I turn to Katem and glance over at the elders, suddenly aware of where I am.
None of them are staring at me like a weirdo.
They all just talk amongst themselves, passing the jug of alcohol as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened.
It does make me feel a little better that they’re not paying us any attention or at least not making it appear as if they are.
“Not how you thought you’d come back and find me, huh?” I try to make light of it.
“It is not, and I am sorry I was not here when you became upset.” He strokes my head. “I will not ask what happened, but I will listen when you are ready to tell me. In the meantime, perhaps you would like to try and eat some of the food I brought.”
God, the thought of eating right now makes me nauseated, but Katem went to all the trouble, I need to at least attempt it.
“Thank you. For everything.”
He inclines his head and picks up the bowl lying on the ground near him.
In it looks to be some type of delicious smelling stew along with a piece of bread.
With the crude-looking spoon, I scoop up a small amount and sip.
The broth is lukewarm, but the flavor is plentiful.
I take another, bigger spoonful—this one with bits of meat.
Once more, spices burst across my tongue. I glance up at Katem who watches me.
“This is so good.”
He grins broadly. “I am glad you enjoy it.”
While I eat, he points out various people that wander through the village in our line of sight.
“That is Talek, Cecily, Bazel, and Carter.”
Two Tavikhi children and two human children race after each other. They all look to be about the same age, except for the human boy who looks closer to a middle teenager.
“There is Jodah and Healer Sage with their kit.”
To my surprise the healer is a human woman, although I shouldn’t be shocked considering the name. It doesn’t sound like a Tavikhi one.
“Was she a doctor back on Earth?” If so, that means she was a part of the upper tier. Why in god’s name would she be on Tavikh?
Katem shakes his head. “My translator says a doctor is another name for healer, but to my knowledge, she had no other training until she became Kyler’s apprentice when she first arrived.”
Interesting.
He tells me a little history of the planet including a few details about the Krijese and another species called Njeri. Finally, I finish eating, a little surprised I cleaned the bowl.
“Are you ready to rejoin the elders?”
“I think so.”
Katem takes my empty bowl and helps me to my feet.
We walk back over to the fire where quite a few of the elders have already dispersed, including Nellora, Alesha, and her mate.
Instead of sitting again with the few remaining people, we head for one of the tents.
Katem smacks the door flap and we wait a few seconds before rustling noises come from inside.
The hide door is swung open and Alesha steps out with a kind smile, her gaze taking us both in. “Greetings once more Katem and Piper. I hope you are feeling better.”
My body heats that she witnessed my panic attack, but there doesn’t appear to be any judgment in her gaze, merely concern. “I am, thank you.”
“I am glad. Now, your mate tells me you wish to learn how to mold clay.”
“Yes, please.”
“Why do you wish to do this?”
I blink at the question. “What do you mean?”
“I am curious to know why you wish to learn this skill.”
“Because it looks interesting.”
Alesha nods. “Is that the only reason?”
I feel like she’s looking for a specific answer, but what that answer is, I haven’t got a clue. Katem already said she’s willing to teach me, but still, I take a moment to dig a little deeper and give her a reason she might find more acceptable.
“I want to create something with my own two hands that has a purpose. That has meaning. I want to put a small piece of myself into something that will be here long after I’m gone.”
Alesha smiles and nods and a sense of relief filters through me like I passed some sort of test.