Chapter 27 – BODHI
BODHI
Emma stares at me with those wide, green eyes, and I can see her processing. Not shock, exactly, since she knew something was different about me. Felt it somehow. But seeing it, knowing it, and looking at the consequences of what I can become, is completely different from a vague suspicion.
“You’re… a bear?” She repeats, swallowing hard, her voice barely more than a whisper. “How is that even possible?”
I want to explain everything to her, but not like this. All I can do is stand here, naked and covered in blood, and watch the woman I love try to reconcile the man she trusted with this monster.
“Emma.” I take a step toward her, wiping my still wet hands on my chest, but she flinches back slightly, her eyes roaming over the red slick covering my skin.
That small movement is enough to stop me in my tracks. She’s been through so much. I can’t add to her fear, as much as I want to hold her. Instead, I bury my hands in my hair.
“I know this is a lot to take in.”
Not sure she’s listening, I follow her gaze to the grimy windows.
“Are there others?” Her voice is steadier now, but I can hear the tremor underneath. “Are there more like you?”
“Out there now? No.” Her eyes dart past me, toward the forest, the cars, the way out. “But in general, yes.”
I can hear her heart pounding as her body processes the fear and adrenaline racing through her, and her mind tries to accept what she knows is true.
“We’re called shifters.” The words barely come. I can’t focus on anything but her nervous expression. “My brothers. My whole family. Small towns of us are dotted all over the country. There are more than you’d imagine.”
She nods slowly, filing it away like this is perfectly reasonable information. As if learning that there are towns full of supernatural beings living amongst humans is just another piece of trivia and not utterly terrifying.
“Are they all... are they dangerous?”
Like me.
My gut twists when I see the quiver in her bottom lip and hear the tremble in her voice. She’s holding it together remarkably well. All I can do is answer her questions and comfort her as best I can.
“We’re not dangerous, Emma. Not to good, decent people.” I take a breath. “But we protect our own. Fiercely.”
She nods again, but her features are frozen, eyes fixed on the trail of blood that’s leading to the front door where I dragged Kozlov across the floor.
I should have been more measured, shifted back to human form instead of creating this bloodbath, but I wasn’t in my right mind. My bear had too much control, and rage. That’s my fault for spending so long in animal form before coming here. My family warned me, but I refused to listen.
Even now my bear is still too close to the surface, still riding the high of protecting our mate. But seeing the careful way she’s wrapping her arms around her waist and curling in on herself, the burns on her wrists and red mark on her cheek, is quickly bringing me back to reality.
What kind of future could we have now? What human woman could accept a man, trust a man, who can do this? Deep down, would she always fear me?
“Let me see.” I move closer, keeping my movements slow and non-threatening. She doesn’t pull away this time when I gently take her hands to examine the raw marks where the rope cut into her skin.
“Bodhi.” Her voice stops me. When I look up, her eyes are wide as they search my face. “Are they…? Did you…?”
The question I’ve been dreading. I can still taste their blood, still feel the satisfaction of my claws tearing through their flesh.
“Yes. You don’t have to worry about them ever again.” My voice comes out flat. Emotionless.
“So, they’re dead?”
She must know the answer, but she needs to hear it out loud before she can begin to relax, to believe the danger has truly passed.
“Yes.”
She absorbs this quietly, gives my arm a gentle squeeze and nods slowly. “Good.”
The simple word surprises me. No horror, no revulsion. Just acceptance that the people who terrorized her got what they deserved.
“Thank you.”
She shifts her weight as if she needs to steady herself, blinking rapidly, one bare foot stepping back to keep her balance.
“We should go,” I say, taking hold of her elbow to keep her shivering body steady as she takes small, unsure steps across the cabin floor.
When we get closer to the door, I remember what’s waiting outside. The carnage I left behind in my rage. Blood and gore scatters across the forest floor like something from a slasher movie.
“Wait.” I stop her at the threshold, moving to block her view. “Don’t look. Just keep your eyes closed.”
I’m a fool. A dangerous fool. This woman will never feel safe with me after what I’ve done today.
“What...”
“Please, Emma. Trust me.”
She does, closing her eyes and letting me guide her around the cabin to where the cars are parked.
But I can see her face in my peripheral vision, and the way she tenses when she catches the metallic scent of blood in the air.
The slight hitch in her breathing when we pass close to what’s left of Kozlov.
She knows. Maybe she can’t see it, but she knows what I’ve done.
Overkill. Blood lust. Feral. Broken.
These are the words that bombard me. Words I’ve heard before when I was banished from our clan. My hands shake as I help her into the passenger seat and close the door, the enormity of what I’ve done crashing over me. Not killing them, I’ll never regret that, but how I did it.
The violence. The beast I become when pushed too far.
What kind of mate puts their own desire for vengeance above the needs of the one they’re meant to love more than anything?
“Bodhi?” Emma’s voice comes through the car window. “Aren’t you getting in?”
I look at her sitting there, this incredible woman who somehow survived an ordeal that would have broken most people. She more than I deserve.
“I’ll be right back,” I say. “Just need to check the perimeter. Make sure we’re safe until backup arrives.”
Her brow furrows. “What’s wrong?”
Everything. Everything is wrong.
“Nothing. Just being cautious.”
Emma nods, but as I turn to go, she reaches through the window and catches my arm, the first time she’s touched me since she found out what I am.
“Bodhi.” Her voice is soft but firm. “Thank you.”
Before I can respond, the sound of approaching engines cuts through the night. Headlights sweep through the trees, and I tense, ready to shift again if necessary, until I catch a familiar scent on the wind.
Beau.
“It’s okay,” I tell Emma. “They’re with me.”
Two black SUVs pull into the clearing. Chase is out before his vehicle has even fully stopped, with Beau right behind him, both dressed in full tactical gear that’s now completely unnecessary.
They take in the scene before them, the shattered door, the blood, and me standing naked, covered in gore, and exchange a look.
“Jesus Christ.” Beau breathes.
Natalie emerges from the passenger seat, a blanket already in her hands. She slowly moves toward me, her expression carefully neutral as she waits to see what mental state I’m in before getting too close.
Shifters who’ve met their mates are notoriously unstable, let alone after going through something like this.
“Emma’s in the car,” I tell them, needing to distract them from me. “She’s okay. Physically, at least.”
Chase nods and moves toward the sedan, while Natalie drapes the blanket around my shoulders. Her nose wrinkles at the pungent stench of blood, but she doesn’t comment.
“You did what you had to do,” she says quietly.
On my side, as always.
Chase crouches beside Emma’s window, speaking to her in low tones.
Beau approaches the cabin entrance and stops, his face going pale as he takes in the carnage inside.
“Bodhi...” He turns to look at me, beyond shocked at the sight before him.
I’m unrepentant.
“They were going to… attack her. Film it. Kill her after.” Clenching my teeth together as my blood pressure rises, I growl loudly. “What did you expect me to do?”
Beau’s jaw tightens. He looks back at the bodies, then at me. “Fuck them. They deserved it.”
It’s the same sentiment Emma had. Like the violence was justified. Like becoming a monster was the right choice.
Maybe it was, but that doesn’t make it easier to live with.
“We need to clean this up,” Chase says, returning from the car. “There’s going to be questions. The Ashworths were prominent people.”
His calm demeanor and practical thinking irks me, like he’s everything I’m not, but should be.
“I don’t care about the Ashworths.” I’m so tired. The adrenaline is fading, leaving nothing but exhaustion and the weight of what I’ve done. “I only care about Emma.”
Beau crouches beside what’s left of Kozlov, methodically checking pockets.
“Bodhi.”
Something in his voice makes my stomach drop. He’s holding a photograph, edges crumpled and stained red. When he turns it toward me, I see a woman. Young, beautiful, with striking features, the kind of face that belongs on magazine covers.
She seems vaguely familiar, but I don’t recognize her, although from the way Beau’s jaw has locked, the way his hand trembles slightly, I’m guessing he does.
“Emma.” Beau crosses to the car, holding up the photo. His voice is carefully flat. “Do you know who this is?”
She leans forward, squinting in the dim light.
“I think it’s the other girl. The VIP.” She frowns, trying to remember. “It was so dark, and I only saw her for a split second, but I felt like I recognised her…”
“Do you know where she is now?” Though his tone is casual, I know Beau well enough to know better. “Is she still at the mansion?”
Emma shakes her head slowly. “Dimitri took her. They were talking about it before they grabbed me.” She looks between us, clearly sensing the shift in atmosphere.
“Kozlov was furious about having to leave. Said they needed cash in a hurry and told Dimitri to bring her to some buyer that had made an offer before.”
Beau’s eyes meet mine. The devastation there is gut-wrenching.
“Who is she?” Emma asks quietly.
Nobody answers.
Chase takes the photo from Beau, studies it for a long moment, then pockets it without a word. When he looks up, his expression is stony.
“We still need to clean this up,” he says, but his voice has changed. Harder. More urgent. “But I’ll get Van on it immediately. See if he can track down Dimitri or figure out where he took her.”
I nod numbly and watch Beau and Chase work in grim silence, and the extent of what I’ve done eats away at me.
Kozlov knew where she was. He was the only one who knew. And I ended him before we could ask.
If something happens to her now, that’s on me.
Emma reaches for my hand and tangles her fingers with mine, the blood on my skin not stopping her. My insides twist. How is she not afraid?
“Hey,” she whispers.
“Hey.” My throat feels tight, and my tongue is thick in my mouth. I don’t know what to say, what to do with all these emotions swirling around inside me. My need for her battles with my shame at what I’ve done and the desire to protect her, even if it’s from me.
But Emma seems to be completely oblivious to the torment inside me.
She leans her head against my shoulder and closes her eyes, her grip tightening in mine. “Take me home.”
Which makes it even harder when I shake my head and pull away.
“I can’t, Emma. Not like this. There’s something I have to do first.”