Chapter 29 – BODHI
BODHI
Van has set up a command centre in one of the conference rooms of Chase’s security headquarters.
Multiple screens are casting blue light across the walls, and data streams scroll past faster than any human could read.
Empty coffee cups litter the desk beside his keyboard, and the air smells stale, like too many people have been in here for too long with the windows shut.
I’ve been here since five a.m., the same as yesterday.
“You look like shit,” Tripp says from his spot against the wall, his arms crossed, and a toothpick rolling between his teeth.
I don’t bother responding. He’s not wrong; I feel like shit. Three days of catnaps and cold coffee will do that. I drag a hand over my beard and resist the urge to look around, to look for her.
She’s close by. I can sense her presence. Like a constant itch that I can’t scratch, poking at my awareness, reminding me what an idiot I am.
“Anything new?” I ask Van.
“Maybe.” His fingers don’t stop moving across the keyboard, eyes fixed on the centre screen.
“Dimitri’s phone went dark after he left the mansion, but I’ve been tracking the vehicle.
No GPS on his car, but traffic cams picked it up heading east, then nothing.
” He taps a key, then a map fills one monitor, and a red line traces a route that dead-ends in the middle of nowhere.
“But assuming this is a similar situation, we’re searching through local properties for shell corporation ownership, or anything fishy. ”
“You think she’s been sold already.”
He immediately dismisses that idea. “Not necessarily. Dimitri might still have Amber. When the auction was cancelled, any sensible buyer would have walked away. And Emma said she was their prize lot. She doesn’t think Dimitri would kill her. He’d stash her somewhere until the heat dies down.”
Hearing her name floors me, along with a flash of jealousy that catches me off guard. Van’s human. Fit. Clever.
And he didn’t do what I did.
Maybe that’s the kind of man she would have chosen if she had the chance.
“You’re growling at me. Please stop. You’re making it extremely hard to concentrate.”
Van doesn’t stop typing, but he does ease slightly further away from me, his gaze briefly falling to where my fingers are white-knuckling the table just inches from his side.
I’m looming over him, literally breathing down his neck. No wonder his pulse is racing.
“Sorry,” I mutter, pulling myself back together. Adding another person to my body count isn’t going to help my case.
Standing back to full height, I take a step back to give him some breathing space, praying he’ll work a miracle and find her. Van nods without looking up, already lost in whatever rabbit hole he’s chasing.
Rescuing Amber and any other Kozlov had is the only thing I can think of besides my mate. It’s my fault we have no idea where they are. The only people who might have been able to help us are gone.
And because of my actions, Zara’s still missing her sister, and she’s enduring God only knows what.
I grab my tablet from the cluttered table and settle into a chair across the room, pulling up case files and scouring them for even the smallest clue we might have missed before. Kozlov’s network. Known associates. Anyone who might know where Dimitri would stash someone he wanted to disappear.
The work helps. Gives me something to focus on besides the pull toward the cabin at the edge of the town.
Beau appears in the doorway around noon, with a sandwich in one hand that he clearly intends for me. He takes one look at my face, at the pile of cold cups beside my chair, and shakes his head.
“When’s the last time you ingested something that wasn’t caffeine?” The sandwich smells delicious, but I don’t deserve his kindness. They had a plan, and I didn’t stick to it. Now all of these girls are in the wind.
“I’m fine.”
Tripp scoffs, still watching me from the far side of the room, and I realise he’s not here to work; he’s only here to keep an eye on me.
“You’re not fine. And you’re running yourself into the ground.” He sets the sandwich on the table beside me, pushing aside papers to make room. “Emma’s been asking about you.”
Of course, she has. Because she’s a good person. Better than I deserve. I swallow back the swell of emotion that threatens to overtake me and shift in my seat.
“Careful now. He growled at Van for just mentioning her name,” Tripp mutters.
My jaw tightens as I keep my eyes on the tablet. “I’ve been busy. Van’s tracking…” But my big brother is no fool, so my attempt to suck Beau into an update on the investigation is rapidly ended. He’s good at reading people, and right now, he can see straight through me.
“Too busy for your mate?” he asks, a dangerous edge to his voice. “Your fated mate.” Easing closer to me, he dumps the sandwich down on the table with a loud slap. I’m guessing bringing it wasn’t his idea. He doesn’t seem like he’s feeling particularly charitable.
His bear pushes forward, letting me feel his anger at my behavior.
“We have to find Amber.” I grit out, ignoring his barbs.
“Yes, and we will. But what about Emma?”
Beau stands over me, watching with that knowing look I’ve hated since we were kids.
“I’m doing this for her, too. Dimitri might come for me. And Emma, she’s a witness. A loose end. I need to find them before they find her.”
He opens his mouth to say something else, no doubt trying to provoke me, but mercifully, Van clears his throat and speaks up.
“Did you need something, or are you just here to give him shit? Because if so, you two need to take it outside. Your shifter mojo is making it hard to breathe.”
A long pause. We both glare at each other, torn between the temptation to work out our frustration by tearing strips off each other, and letting Van work in peace.
Common sense wins out. Beau walks backward to the door, taps his knuckles against the doorframe twice, then shakes his head and walks away, tossing one last parting comment over his shoulder before he disappears from view.
“This is your chance, Bodhi. Don’t fuck it up.”
It is my chance. To make sure no one ever hurts her again.
Grumbling, I resume my work. Beau isn’t mated, so he doesn’t understand how powerful the drive to protect her is. My bear is frantic. Dimitri could put a bounty on Emma’s head, even now. Amber could be gone.
I don’t need Beau’s advice. I need to work.
And yet, as confident as I feel about that declaration now, there’s nothing but guilt when she finds me an hour later.
I hear her footsteps in the corridor before she reaches the door, and her tantalising scent calls to me the second it reaches my nose.
My shoulders tense, my heart pounds, and my skin prickles with awareness just from being in her presence.
Yet instead of standing up and going to her, I keep my eyes fixed on the screen in front of me, though the words have stopped making sense.
“Hey.” Her voice is soft. Hopeful.
I force myself to look up, even though I know it will devastate me.
She’s hovering in the doorway, her fingers wrapped around a mug of tea with steam curling up past her face.
Borrowed clothes hang loose on her frame, another of Natalie’s sweaters, and her sleeves are pushed up past her wrists.
Her hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail, and the bruise on her cheek that’s faded to yellow feels like a punch to the gut.
“Emma.” I set the tablet down carefully. “How are you feeling?”
Something shifts in her expression at my tone. She steps into the room, glancing at Van and Tripp, before her eyes settle back on me.
“Better. The nightmares are easing.”
The nightmares. I know they’ve improved. I’ve been keeping close to her cabin at night, hoping my presence would help her sleep.
She refused a guard and a room inside the large main compound building. My bear refuses to leave her there alone and vulnerable all night.
Dimitri tracked me here before. He’s not stupid; he must know this is where I’d come.
An image of him creeping through the woods to her cabin flashes through my mind, and I have to bite my tongue to suppress a growl. I need to find him first.
Emma regards me quietly as she wraps both hands around her mug like she needs the warmth. “I was hoping we could talk.”
My insides flip, excited that my mate wants to spend time in my presence. But then doubt creeps in. Maybe this is the ‘we need to talk’ conversation I definitely don’t want to have. Not yet. Not until I can tell her I’ve fixed this.
“We will.” I turn back to the screens, gesturing vaguely at the map that’s still glowing on Van’s monitor. “Once we find Dimitri.”
Emma visibly shudders. “Dimitri?”
She moves closer, just her existence in my space is making me feel instantly happier. I can smell her now, mouth-wateringly tempting, and all the urges I’ve been fighting to control surge forward.
Touch her. Kiss her. Claim her.
“He took the other woman the same night they moved you. She’s still out there.”
She blinks at me but stays quiet. I watch her reflection on the dark screen of my tablet, the way she chews her bottom lip, weighing her next words.
“And you want to help find her.”
I nod.
“Selfishly, I want to tell you to leave it to these guys, but if I were her, I’d want everyone who can to work on finding me.”
Then her hand touches my arm, light and warm through my sleeve. “Find me when you’re done?”
I step back, needing distance to stop me from breaking, and the hurt on her face is immediate, her hand still hanging in the air where my arm used to be. She lowers it slowly, curling her fingers around the mug again.
“I should get back to this,” I say, reaching for the tablet I don’t need, her words echoing in my head. Selfish? She’s the least selfish person I’ve ever met. “Van has a lead on a property.”
We lock eyes, and I pray that what she sees there is enough for her to know I care. I really do. I just… can’t.
“Bodhi.” Harder now. “Look at me.”
I am looking. That’s the problem.
“I’m not scared.”
Her words are heavy with meaning, but raise more questions than they answer. Does she mean she’s not scared of me, of us, or shifters? Dimitri? I guess this is why we need to talk.
“You were.”
“Of the situation. Not of you. Never of you.”
With her chin tipped up slightly in defiance, I see the spirit I’ve fallen for. Her courage. She’s proving herself to be braver than I am.
“It’s new, and will take time to get used to, but I’m glad I know.”
Unable to stop myself, I cross to her and wrap her up in my arms.
Breathing her in, I press a kiss to her forehead. Brief. Chaste. I can feel her lean into it, but I pull back before she tempts me into more.
With a shaky exhale, she rests her cheek against my chest, and I allow myself this moment of weakness to absorb all the strength I can from her.
“We will. I promise. Just… let me do this first.”
She stares up at me, green eyes searching my face for something I can’t give her. Not yet.
When she pulls back, unwrapping her arms from around my torso, I want to scream. I want to pick her up and carry her out of here, to lock her up somewhere quiet and isolated, like the caveman I am.
But I don’t.
She walks out, and the room falls unbearably quiet except for the hum of Van’s equipment.
He’s very deliberately focused on his screens. And Tripp has found something fascinating on the ceiling to study.
Natalie appears a moment later, watching Emma’s retreating form, before turning to me, arms folded and mouth pressed into a thin line.
“I’ll go sit with her.”
“I’ll talk to her later. You don’t need…”
“Yes, I do.” Her impatient tone cuts through my protest. “She’s been through hell, Bodhi.
Kidnapped. Nearly raped. And now the man she thought was her hero won’t even look at her for more than two seconds at a time.
” She holds my gaze, unflinching. “Somebody should be taking care of her. Since it’s clearly not going to be you. ”
She’s gone before I can respond, her footsteps fading down the corridor after Emma.
Van clears his throat. “We can do this part without you. You should go after her.”
“I know.” I stare at the empty doorway, knowing he’s right, but still unable to move. “Just find me that property.”