Chapter 31 – BODHI
BODHI
I’m still staring at the door I came through, running from my mate, when Van’s voice, loud and clear, rings out.
“Got something.”
The words pull me back to the present. I cross to his workstation, grateful for the distraction.
“You got an address?” I ask.
“Better.” Van’s fingers fly across the keyboard, pulling up satellite imagery on the centre screen. “Shell corporation that owns the same property they brought Emma to.” He zooms in on a cluster of buildings surrounded by dense forest. “But this one’s still active.”
I lean closer to study the layout. Main house, two outbuildings, and a single access road.
“Do you think she’s there?”
“We can’t confirm visually, but the activity pattern suggests someone important is holed up there.” Van glances up at me. “If she’s anywhere, she’s there.”
My hands curl into fists at my sides. This is it. The chance to end this. To make sure Dimitri never gets near Emma again.
“When do we move?”
Chase’s voice comes from the doorway. “We’ll send a small team to stake the place out. Once we have more information, we’ll plan a breach.”
I turn to face him. He’s dressed for the field already, tactical vest over a black shirt, and sidearm holstered at his hip. Beau stands beside him, arms crossed and expression unreadable.
“Great. I’ll be ready in ten minutes,” I say.
“No.” Beau steps into the room, his tone brooking no argument. “You’re not coming.”
The words don’t register at first. He can’t be saying what I think he is. “What?”
“You heard me.” He moves to Van’s station, studying the satellite imagery like we’re not in the middle of a conversation.
“That’s my mess to clean up.” I can hear the growl creeping into my voice as my temper rises. “I’m the reason we didn’t know where they brought her. Why they still have her at all.”
I need to make this right. My own flesh and blood should understand better than anyone why I have to do this. This woman is one of us now by extension. I’ll never be able to look Zara in the eye again if we don’t bring her home.
“Exactly.” Beau turns to face me, and there’s no give in his expression, just his bear staring back at me.
“Your head’s not in the right place, and it hasn’t been since you walked out of that cabin covered in blood.
And it’s not going to get better, for either of you, until you fix things with Emma. ”
He pauses, letting the words land.
Chase’s voice breaks the tension, slightly, but Beau’s stance doesn’t change and my bear’s anger simmers. “This isn’t punishment, Bodhi. It’s tactical. We need people who aren’t emotionally involved. You understand why.”
I want to argue, but he’s right. I know he’s right. And that’s what makes it fucking infuriating.
“Fine.” The word comes out flat and defeated as I rest my arms on the edge of the table and drop my chin to my chest.
Chase nods, already turning back to Van to discuss entry points and extraction routes. I stand there for a moment, useless, before heading for the door.
Mason falls into step beside me in the corridor.
“Don’t,” I say without looking at him. I know him so well that I can practically hear what he’s thinking.
A hint of a smile toys with his lips. “Wasn’t going to say anything.”
Yeah, right. “Just get him for me, alright?”
Mason gives me a reassuring pat on the shoulder but doesn’t promise me anything.
We walk in silence through the main building, past offices and equipment rooms, until we reach the back exit. I push through into the evening air, the stiff breeze a welcome shock after the stifling atmosphere inside.
The sun is setting behind the mountains, painting the sky in shades of orange and red. I close my eyes, letting the fresh air and warm sunshine calm my frazzled nervous system.
I trust Beau, Mason too, and I know they’re good at what they do. But if it doesn’t go to plan, and Dimitri remains at large, Emma’s never going to have peace. I feel completely out of control just thinking about not being there to see it through.
Beau leans beside the door, waiting, one knee bent, boot resting against the wall.
“You look like shit,” he says conversationally, scratching at the dark stubble on his jaw. He doesn’t look too great himself.
“Thanks.”
Beau drums his fingers against the wall behind him. “You know this isn’t about Amber, right? And it’s not about Emma, either. Not really.”
That’s got my attention. I finally turn to look at him. “Okay, then, Mr. Know-it-all. What the hell is it about?”
If he insists on poking the bear, he can suffer the consequences. I could do with another workout. Punching a bag wouldn’t be quite as satisfying in my current mood.
“It’s about Dad.”
I turn away, staring out at the treeline and the shadows gathering between the pines. This is not the conversation I want to have right now. I don’t think any conversation is the one I want to have right now.
“He spent your entire childhood telling you that you were destined to be a monster.” Beau continues. “A weapon that needed to be controlled by him.” He pauses. “And even though you know it was bullshit manipulation, deep down, some part of you believed him.”
My blood pressure rises, fire scorching a path through my veins.
“You think any of us would have done differently?” His tone sharpens.
“You think Chase wouldn’t have ripped Kozlov’s throat out with his teeth if it was Natalie in that cabin?
Hell, if it was any woman at all.” He shakes his head.
“The only monster in that cabin was Kozlov and that piece of shit buyer. And you didn’t just save Emma, you saved every other woman they would have done the same thing to. ”
I don’t have an answer for that as silence stretches between us, heavy and oppressive, like my mood. I’m waiting for him to tell me what to do about my mate, and how I’m fucking it up.
But he doesn’t.
“Mitch called this morning,” Beau says, changing the subject entirely. “Garrett’s making noise again. Pushing for a formal challenge.”
Why the hell does he think I care about this right now?
“Mitch can handle Garrett.” I grumble.
“Mitch is exhausted. He’s been holding things together for months, reluctantly.” Beau’s voice is matter of fact, not accusatory.
“If he doesn’t want to be there, he should go.”
Beau gives me a sardonic look. “He can’t. You know that.”
At least, not until I go back. That’s what Beau’s really saying. “I’m not taking over.”
He shrugs, as if it’s no skin off his nose. Which, I guess, it isn’t. He doesn’t live there, and he works here with Chase. He’s as disconnected from the clan as I am, apart from some infrequent visits since Dad’s been gone.
“Go to Black River,” Beau says. “Deal with whatever ghosts are waiting there for you.” He turns to look at me directly. “And when you’ve got your head straight, bring Emma. Show her your world. Let her decide if she wants to be part of it.”
There it is.
“She doesn’t want…”
Beau tilts his head as he challenges me.
“You don’t know what she wants. You haven’t asked her.” His expression softens slightly. “Check it out. At least you know she’d be safe there.”
It’s a dirty trick, but he’s right. If the challenge with Garrett is quashed, and Mitch is firmly in charge, there would be no safer place to stash my mate until this mess is over. Dimitri won’t be able to get past a clan of bears.
My beast rumbles in satisfaction, liking the idea of her living among us.
“Though you might want to actually mark her first in case someone hits on her. It might ruin your triumphant return if you murder one of the young males for looking at her.”
Beau claps me on the shoulder once, with brief pressure, then heads back inside. The door swings shut behind him, leaving me alone with the weight of everything he’s said.
From somewhere inside the building, I hear the muffled sounds of his team preparing to move out.
I should go to Emma’s cabin right now, knock on her door, and tell her everything. Instead, I make my way past the cabin and into the darkness to my usual spot in the trees.
The lights are on inside. Through the window, I watch her moving around the small kitchen, making tea, her movements tight with tension. She looks exhausted, and I know I’m the reason.
I settle against the trunk of a large tree, the bark rough through my shirt, and watch her to settle my bear’s craving. I linger there as the light fades, and she settles into the deep sofa with a book and a hot mug of tea in her hand.
An hour passes. Maybe two. My bear paces restlessly, urging me toward the cabin, toward our mate. I close my eyes, allowing myself to rest, just for a moment, knowing she’s still here, unharmed.
But I jolt awake when the porch light flicks on, and Emma steps outside.
Her scent carries to me on the breeze, and just like before, a wave of need threatens to overwhelm me.
I groan, closing my eyes to let my bear pine and bury the ache deep inside me.
She settles into one of the porch chairs and tips her head back, staring up at the stars.
“Come out, Bodhi.”
She knows I’m here.
She’s been waiting for me.