Chapter 35 – EMMA
EMMA
Fire barrels cast orange light between buildings, and strings of bulbs connect posts like some backwoods festival. Smoke from grills makes my empty stomach clench. I stand where Natalie dropped me, trying to make sense of what I'm seeing.
A celebration. Music from speakers. Kids running free. Adults standing around with drinks, relaxed and laughing, after watching two men brawl.
This isn't what I expected to find.
Bodhi is near the main fire, and my steps falter at the sight. He's standing tall, surrounded by people, with sawdust in his shaggy hair, and dirt streaked across his jeans. Someone hands him a beer, and he takes it easily, naturally, then laughs at something someone says.
Actually laughs.
He looks good. Healthy. Unmarked by the days that have hollowed me out.
During the drive here, Natalie kept checking her phone. "Things could get ugly." Her knuckles were white on the wheel the whole way here. "I can't come in with you. Even being family doesn't override the badge for some of them. Not yet."
But the fight was over fast. As was Bodhi's speech.
A woman approaches him. Blonde and beautiful, with the easy confidence of someone who belongs here.
She throws her arms around his neck, and he catches her automatically, before carefully easing her away.
When she pulls back, she keeps one manicured hand on his arm a second too long. Familiar. Possessive.
She leans in close saying something that makes him offer a polite smile. Her body angles toward his, claiming space. Maybe even trying to claim him.
Jealousy flares in my chest, sudden and vicious.
“Mine,” I snarl.
A young woman spots me first. A stranger at the edge of their celebration. She stops mid-conversation, then touches the arm of the man beside her. More heads turn. The music continues but conversations don’t.
"Who's that?" Someone inhales sharply. "Human."
The word ripples through the group, but I keep my chin up, and my expression neutral.
Then Bodhi looks up.
Our eyes meet through the flames, and everything else disappears. The crowd, the music, the blonde with her possessive hands. There's only him, staring at me like I'm a ghost.
The bottle cracks in his hand, beer foaming around his fingers. He doesn't seem to notice.
Emma. I see my name form on his lips.
The blonde tugs at his arm, but he's already moving, cutting through the crowd with long strides. People step out of his way without being asked.
When he stops in front of me, close enough to touch, the bond pulls so hard, I can barely breathe.
"What…? You’re here." His voice is rough.
"Clearly." I keep my voice cool. "Though I’m starting to understand why you didn’t want me to come.”
His brow furrows. "Emma…"
"Who is she?"
The question comes out sharper than I intended.
His eyes widen then darken, feeling the ugly jealousy that’s burning inside me.
"Shanna. She's an old friend." In the firelight, his eyes blaze, just like his mood.
"She looks like more than a friend." I can’t keep the bitter tone from my voice as my cheeks burn with embarrassment at having arrived and caught him looking perfectly happy without me.
A growl rumbles from his chest. Through the bond, I feel his frustration mixing with something hotter. He likes it. He has the nerve to enjoy my anger.
"I was worried about you." I continue, unable to stop the words coming, not letting him interrupt. "But it seems I didn't need to be. Because here you are, partying, looking like you haven't got a care in the world. Certainly not losing any sleep over leaving me behind right when I needed you."
Several people shift uncomfortably. Whispers ripple through the crowd. I'm aware of every eye on us, but I refuse to look away from him first.
I straighten my spine and lift my chin.
"Forget it. This was clearly a mistake."
I turn toward the darkness, keeping my shoulders square and my stride even.
"Emma, wait."
His hand catches my arm. The contact ignites something desperate in my cells. Heat races along every nerve, the mate bond latching onto him with painful relief. My lungs remember how to fully expand. I clench my jaw against the broken sound that wants to escape.
Because I'm still pissed off at him.
"Let go," I say quietly.
"Not until you let me explain. Please. Just, not out here."
I could pull away, but the bond is singing now, flooding me with warmth after days of nothing but a dull ache.
"Fine.” I huff. “But then I'm leaving."
“I’ll drive you back myself.”
He doesn't steer me, just points in one direction and walks beside me toward a cabin that sits apart from the others, windows dark.
We step inside to find a stone fireplace dominating one wall, with no fire.
Maps are tacked to another wall, marking apparent boundary lines.
He gestures to a couch that's seen better days, then retreats to the far wall.
The gulf between us feels enormous.
"What’s going on, Bodhi? I don’t get it." That's all I can manage.
He drags both hands through his hair, sending bits of sawdust floating to the floor. "I was coming back for you. Tomorrow morning. I was going to drive back to Chase's compound and ask you to come here."
After ignoring me since we escaped Kozlov?
"You left without even telling me where you were going. And you’ve been avoiding me since the cabin."
The pain I’ve been keeping trapped inside me threatens to break the dam, my emotions becoming more heightened the closer I get to him.
His hands clench and unclench at his sides. "When you told me to go..." He exhales. "It seemed like the right thing to do."
Liar. I can feel his guilt. He knows he did the wrong thing.
"The right thing would have been talking to me. Not abandoning me." Keeping my voice steady, even though my insides are churning, I lay it all out. "What you’re doing is not fair.”
He looks me dead in the eye, broken.
"You're right." No defence, not an excuse.
His easy agreement deflates a little of my anger, and I sigh, staring around at the rustic interior.
"So, what now? You're moving here without me, and we’re what, done? Over before it even started?"
Bodhi looks horrified. And angry.
"No. We are not done. I want you here with me." His tone is adamant, but when he sees my dubious expression, he starts pacing, energy crackling through his movements. He groans, digging his fingers into his thick hair.
The fight. The announcement that he’s taking control of the clan. The applause. They want him back.
"You're in charge now."
He nods. "I've been avoiding my duties far too long."
I stare at him, waiting for an explanation of where I fit into all of this, but there is none. The silence stretches until Bodhi suddenly stops pacing and is on me, kneeling before me and crowding me, focussing all his intense alpha-ness on me.
His gaze travels over my face before those brown eyes settle on mine, staring into my soul. "I was going to ask you to come here, to see it, to think about whether you could see yourself here." He breaks off. “But then I got caught up in being back. I’m sorry.”
“So that’s it?” No attempt to pitch this town to me. To sell being mated to the alpha. “Just take it or leave it?
“I am yours forever whether you want me or not.” Bodhi doesn’t break eye contact, doesn’t flinch. "I wanted to be someone worthy of you first. Someone you can trust. Before I broached the subject of this."
I stare back, unwilling to give him the confirmation he needs, not until I know more, but the truth in his words loosens the knot of anxiety I've been carrying.
His eyes search my face. "You came all this way. At least stay and have a look around in daylight."
He stands, putting some distance between us. "I’ll stay at the guesthouse. Give you some time to think.”
Groaning in frustration, I feel like tugging on my hair. "So that's it? You're just going to leave me alone again?"
Confusion flickers across his face. He doesn’t know what to do.
"You need sleep, we both do. And you’re pissed off at me, rightly so. I’m trying to do this slowly."
I don’t want slow. I want what we had in Kozlov’s mansion. Passion. Fire.
“I need to see the real Bodhi. Spend time with him. That’s how I know whether this is the life I want.” I rise from the couch. “Unless you’ve moved on and you’re happier here without me. Then just put me out of my misery.”
His expression darkens.
"Moved on?" His voice drops dangerously low. "You think I've moved on?"
He's back across the room in two strides before gripping my hips and caging me against the wall. The impact knocks the breath from my lungs.
"You think I'm happy?" His voice is a growl against my ear. "I've been out of my fucking mind. Every second, wondering if you'd forgive me. Whether you'd come here someday if I begged you. If I'd ruined the only good thing I've ever had."
His thigh presses between mine, and I gasp.
"Bodhi…" Instantly, my core tightens, and I’m dripping wet, aching for him.
"I should have brought you." His lips brush my neck. "But now that you’re here, I should warn you. I'm going to fight like hell to convince you. And I’m not above playing dirty."
One hand slides up my side, and I arch into the touch without meaning to.
"The bond between us isn't complete." His breath is hot against my skin. "But I know you can feel it. Pulling at you the same way it pulls at me. Making you ache when we're apart. Making your skin feel too tight when we're close but not touching."
"Bodhi…" I whimper, melting into him.
"Tell me you feel it." He rocks his hips, letting me feel how hard he is. "Because if you do, you know this isn’t over."
I have felt it. Every moment.
"That's not fair."
"No." His hand fists in my hair and tilts back my head. "But I'm a man who knows what he wants.”
Oh now he does.
“Convenient.”
He kisses me then, hard and demanding, and I open for him immediately, moaning as his tongue sweeps against mine. He swallows the sound, lifting me so I can wrap my legs around his waist.