Chapter 10
Ten
Clara
“Clara, you are a godsend. I told you not to come in today. I know it might’ve been a tough morning.” Debbie smiles, crossing her arms before leaning against the counter.
“Therapy wasn’t as bad as it usually is. We paused this week to focus on the present. Plus, you deserve a vacation more than anyone.” I grin at her before turning back to stock behind the counter.
It’s been a few weeks since that night Burke and I took out the trash. The new girl I’ve been training all week is doing great. Now that I have keyholder responsibilities, I’ve been opening and closing for Debbie, so she can relax without any worries about her business.
Debbie and I work together to close for the night, and soon Burke’s slate-grey Lexus pulls into the parking lot. He doesn’t get out, and I know he understands I need to soak up all the time I can with Debbie. We’ve built a great relationship, and she’s become more than my boss.
“He’s a lucky guy. You always think you’re the one who is, but Clara, you’re the best catch he could have found.”
“Yeah,” I say quietly. My cheeks heat. I covered this topic in therapy, but I still find it hard to believe anyone.
I’ve finally almost come to terms with the fact I couldn’t control anything that happened to me when I was a child, and although I could have left Ryan, it also was a tough situation, especially with my history.
Closing up the box of jams, I shift it back to where it belongs and take off my blue apron. “I’m gonna miss you.” The admission is a big step for me.
Being vulnerable isn’t something I’m comfortable exposing yet, as if you can show your heart and let people break the valves inside.
“I’ll be back before you know it—with presents,” Debbie says, quickly enveloping me in a hug.
I let her go and exhale a deep breath. Together we lock up and exit through the back door to set the alarm and take out the trash.
Once Debbie has made it to her truck, I turn to the Lexus. Burke is striding toward me.
“Have a wonderful vacation. Make sure you call if you have any troubles,” he says to Debbie. Nodding her a goodbye, he links his fingers with mine.
Walking to the car, he opens my door, then circles around to the driver’s side. “Alright, want to drive?”
“Nah, I’ll focus on my licence when she gets back.” I look out the window, and Burke grips my chin to turn me to him.
“Hungry?”
“No, we had dinner together tonight. How was work?”
“It was good. What’s wrong, Dragonfly?” He strokes my face.
I fidget with my shirt and fold my apron in my lap. “Just telling people your feelings. It’s hard for me.”
“Vulnerability is always going to be hard. We open up our darkest parts to people and worry they’ll smash them up.
I’m proud of you, Clara. You’ve moved leaps and bounds in healing and working through shit you shouldn’t have had to endure.
” Burke always knows what to say, and I hold his hand as he drives us home.
I revel in the comfort. Knowing I have people in my corner makes all the difference in the world. Not enough time has passed to undo the damage from the past, and I’m not sure it ever will, but the support has been appreciated in a way they’ll never know.
“Date night this week? We can do a late dinner since you’ve taken on Debbie’s shifts, but I think it’s needed.”
I smile and wrap my fingers around his hand. “Of course—oooo, could we do a double date? Bailey has a new boyfriend, and it would be super cool if I could experience that.”
“Ryan never… you know what, never mind. Of course we can, Dragonfly.”
“You spoil me too much.” I don’t look at him, because asking to hang out with your friends is such a small thing, and yet here I am falling into habits of the past, asking for permission.
Burke’s deep laughter fills the car. “I’ve held back. I could lavish you with material things, but that isn’t your style. Physical touch and quality time are the things you crave, and I’ll provide whatever you need. We’re not in the past anymore, Clara. You don’t have to ask me for permission.”
“Wanna show me how much you can spoil me, then?”
He parks the car in the garage and turns it off before leaning over the console. Burke kisses me passionately.
Nerves zip through my body, and I ache for his touch.
“I’ll never deny you.” His gruff voice makes my core clench.
It’s been a few days since our schedules allowed time together, and I’ve missed it.
Burke wastes no time in circling the car and opening my door. He bends to sweep me off my feet, but I move out of his reach. “I have legs!”
“Keep it up, Clara, because I know exactly what buttons to push to have you begging.”
I can’t help but hide my grin and skirt past him to walk into the house. He is hot on my heels as I run up the stairs to the bedroom.
Before I can strip my clothes off to get in the shower, Burke grips the back of my sweater and pulls me to him. I melt against his chest as his fingers work to remove my outfit.
Trying to turn is futile. He will never control anything outside the bedroom, but when we play, he always makes me feel the safest, even if he calls all the shots.
“That’s my girl,” he growls into my neck. Burke wraps his hand around my throat and leads me to the bed.
I become a puddle of need under his icy blue stare. When the mattress hits the back of my legs, I fall back, and he shucks his clothes off.
He grips my sides, lifting me and scooting me back before he lowers between my legs, propping them up over his shoulders. “Already wet. My favourite.” His breath traces over my clit, and I clench around nothing.
“Please,” I beg.
Burke doesn’t pay attention to me as he runs his fingers through my wetness, teasing me while ignoring my clit.
His digits slide into me, curling against the spot inside that makes my hips thrust. The teasing drives me insane, and my body feels like it’s on fire under the skin. I need him more than anything.
When his tongue slips over my clit, it’s everything, and I tremble under him. I arch, and he continues licking me as his fingers fuck me. The edge of my orgasm is just out of reach, and he soon pulls away.
“Roll over.” I do as he says. “You listen so well,” he growls.
His hands open me before he thrusts inside. Burke slips his fingers under us to play with my clit. I’m so fucking close, and as he slams into me I explode.
Pleasure courses through my body, and as I try to move away from him, he grips my hair. “Don’t run from me.”
Burke’s rough voice makes my body tingle, and as he continues thrusting into me and playing with my clit, I shake under him as another orgasm rips through me.
It’s too much, but the closeness of his breath on my neck and the growls that fill the room are everything I need.
“Use your words.”
“Please, make me come all over your cock again.”
He slows but doesn’t stop. His dick throbs inside of me, and his fingers rub over my clit until I’m milking his cock for the final time. I scream out, our guttural moans mixing in a symphony only made for us.
Burke pulls out, and I turn over. He kneels on the bed and jerks his cock, staring into my eyes. I open my mouth, and he groans.
“I love when you look at me like this,” he tells me. “See how hard I am for you? How much you’re gonna make me come?”
He fills my mouth, and I swallow while maintaining eye contact. He kneels forward, kissing me before wrapping himself around my body.
“That was exactly what I needed,” I whisper against him.
Burke curls his arms around me. “Here to deliver whatever you need. How was therapy today?”
The weight of therapy over the last while has put me in deep sleeps I didn’t know I needed, but he has never thought I was lazy or said anything demeaning, only made sure I had food and water and was comfortable.
Endless nights I’ve spent crying against his chest, and he never falters or says I’m too much, or that he’s going to find someone else. It’s hard to trust another person, but Burke never gives me any reason for doubt, and my therapist has been loud with those facts.
“We mainly focused on what’s been happening the last couple weeks, like a venting session you paid a lot for.” I close my eyes. The digs don’t help, but I cannot seem to stop them as much as I would like.
“I’d pay for you to say nothing at all. Whatever helps, Clara. Life hasn’t been easy on you, and now it’s my job to make sure you’re taken care of.”
I roll in his arms to look up into his icy blue eyes. “Why? What do you get out of it? You don’t have a debt to pay.”
He strokes my hair, curling it around my ear. Kissing my forehead, he pulls away and I swear he stares into my soul, seeing through all my barriers and insecurities.
“I don’t feel like I have a debt to pay. I’ve wasted more than half my life not putting my faith into someone. After Ryan’s mother, I never wanted to endure the pain of potential heartbreak. Clara, you make me want to be something better. You save me in ways I can’t even begin to express.”
His words warm me, but I deflect. “Maybe you’re the one who needs therapy.”
“Yeah, maybe. Goodnight, Dragonfly. Figure out details of the date you want, and I’ll make it happen.”
“Thank you. Sweet dreams, Burke.”
I turn away from him, but his arm keeps me close. After I killed Andrew, I still had nightmares for about a week, but they’ve almost dissolved, and any bits left over in my mind are quickly replaced by his vacant stare.
I know it will take time, and although I refuse the medication, there is that option.
“What a crazy day it’s been,” Bailey says as we clean up. “I appreciate you showing me so much. I feel like I’m never gonna get the hang of the till, though.”
I finish sweeping and glance at her mopping the floors before tying off the garbage's. “It’ll come. You can’t be a master at everything.”
“True, but I just feel dumb. On another note, that couple that came in today for pie and coffee was adorable!”
Smiling, I put in fresh bags. “They come in once a week and always ask for two forks. They give me hope that relationships really do work. Also, you’re not dumb. Don’t talk about my friend that way.”
Bailey wipes her forehead and fixes the bandana around her bright blue hair. “Don’t make me say nice things about myself. It’s torture.”
“Fine, but hurry up. Burke’s here, and I’m dead tired.” I bring the trash to the back and make sure all the evening-shift stuff is done.
She wheels the mop bucket to the back as she flips off the lights. “Did you clear it with Debbie that we could close early tomorrow? It seems silly for a double date. We could do it next week when she’s back.”
“It’s fine. We’ll be open longer this weekend.”
Bailey grabs the bags of trash from the day and glances over her shoulder. “Thank you. I’ve never been with someone like George. I always fall for the douchebag, you know? The wrong guy, toxic or controlling.”
On my final pass through the storefront, I see a brown envelope on the counter and grab it before heading to the back office. “I’m glad we can go. I’ve never had a double date. I understand—you deserve the fucking best, though. Don’t take the garbage out without me.”
“Yes, mom,” Bailey says with a laugh.
Opening the envelope, I pull out pictures. My chest tightens, and the room closes around me. Barely able to catch my breath, I stare at my stepfather dead on the dirty living-room floor.
This is before Burke’s cleanup guy would have gotten there. I thumb through them with shaky hands as sweat beads on the nape of my neck. There are five showing what was done to him, but at least I’m not in any of them.
“Bailey, who dropped this off?” I ask after dumping them back inside and closing it up.
“It was on the counter earlier. I meant to put it under. You were on break, and I was doing some dishes. I never noticed anyone. What’s in it?”
My thoughts race, trying to think of anything but the evidence inside. “Just random hiking pictures. I’ll try to find the owner online.”
“Can we go?”
I nod, unable to say coherent words as my stomach rolls. I glance around, but nothing will stop my nerves until I reach Burke.
After the trash is in the Dumpster, I walk Bailey to her car and run to the Lexus. “See you tomorrow,” she says when she drives by.
I wave and get into the car.
“Dragonfly, what’s wrong?”
I hand him the envelope and wring my hands. “This was left in the store today. What am I gonna do?”
He thumbs through them and curses. “Don’t worry, I’ll try to figure this out.”
Burke pulls out his other phone and mutters into it something about the pictures and security.