Chapter 12
Twelve
Clara
Sliding my tongue around his shaft, I feel like a goddess with his fingers in my hair.
Burke has a way of making me feel like I’m the only woman in the entire world. I continue sucking his cock until he growls. The sound drives need through my core.
He grips my head and pulls me off of him. Holding on to my face, he brings me to him and kisses me hard. Desire wraps around me, and I want so much more, but his lips on mine make my nerves dance.
When we part, I open my mouth to talk, but he grips me and shoves me onto the bed, his hot skin covering my back as he slides into me.
“Fuck,” I breathe out.
“So good. You’re such a perfect little slut for me.” His words in my ear make me tense at first, but his touch and kisses make me relax. “Couldn’t imagine life without you, Dragonfly.”
I wiggle to reach under us and touch my clit. Burke holds my arm, and I whimper. “Do you need to ask for something?”
“Can I play?”
Burke’s deep laugh sends vibrations across my skin, and I pull against his strength. “Yes, my love. Cum all over my cock.”
Rubbing my clit as he fucks me, I grip on his dick and muffle my screams into the mattress. My arm is held back again, and I groan. “What?”
“Don’t cover those sounds. They're mine. You’re cumming for me, right?”
I whimper and nod.
“Words, Clara.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Then never silence your cries for me again. You’re mine and I want everything you’ll give me.”
He grips my hips and slams into me, and I go back to playing with my clit. My muscles tensing, I become rigid before pleasure explodes through me and I come all over him, whimpering and moaning out loud.
Burke growls, pulls out, and covers my back with his release. The mattress dips with his weight as he leans forward and kisses the side of my head.
“So fucking good,” he rasps. Breathing hard, Burke is up and to the bathroom before I can move.
After he cleans me up, he hands me back my sleep shirt, along with a bottle of water. “Where do you even keep these?” I ask.
“The fridge in my office. I grabbed them on my way back from the bathroom.”
Taking a sip, I nuzzle against his chest, any tension in my body ceasing to exist.
Relying on someone is dangerous because you can’t control what they’ll do. You could end up in a pile of crushed pieces.
“Goodnight, Dragonfly. I think you’re stealing whatever’s left of my heart.”
“Oh, good. Tiny scraps—just what a girl always dreams of.” I smirk, and he shakes his head before turning off the light.
“Deflect all you want, but I can feel it. You’re gonna fall for me too.”
I’m too afraid to share my feelings toward Burke. They scare me.
Falling for someone after years of self-destruction is terrifying, like it’s hard to trust my own gut anymore since it’s been so wrong in the past.
Instead I settle against him and keep my words to myself as I fall into sleep.
“Do you think they’ll work out?” Bailey asks me as we make the pies for tomorrow.
It’s been two weeks since Debbie got back, and she’s been training a couple new part-time employees.
“Fucking hope so. I love Debbie, but I need a break from here.”
“Burke would tell you that you never have to work again if you said the words.”
I roll my eyes as hard as the dough in front of me. “Doesn’t matter. It’s the point—I need to be independent. I need some time away from this place. Work shouldn’t feel like home, and I need to stop smelling like my perfume is eau de grease.”
“Fact. I hate having to go home and shower to go see George because I smell like a side of fries. I might be a full snack, but not that kind.”
We giggle and continue with the pies. “How’s it going with him?” I ask.
“Amazing. You ever meet someone, and it feels like you’ve known them your entire life? Like you don’t even have to worry about little things because you just know it’s okay?”
I grin. “Yeah, Burke is kinda like that. If I didn’t have the past I do, I think I wouldn’t be as guarded, but he’s the calm to my internal storm.”
She fills the pan as I roll out the next dough. “Exactly. I can tell him anything, and when I lay in his arms, it’s like the world melts away.”
“I’m glad, Bailey. You deserve everything good in the world.” Noticing a gold necklace around her neck, I nod to it. “New?”
“George got it for me. It’s gorgeous, eh?”
“Absolutely.” I pass her the last pie and clean up the space.
Measuring out all the stuff for tomorrow’s opening, I close the grills and wash up the last of the dishes. “Did you want to get dinner after we’re done?” I ask her.
After Ryan, I vowed to myself I’d make friends. As much as Burke means to me, I need to have a life outside of a man and take control where I can.
“Another time? George is making me dinner. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, it was last minute.” Throwing the laundry in the dryer, I finish cleaning up the back and pat her shoulder.
“Girls, you’re a godsend. I don’t know how I’d survive without you both—now get out of here before I make you clean the front.”
Bailey squeals and hugs Debbie before hightailing it out of the diner.
“Didn’t have to tell her twice. How are the new employees?” I ask her.
“Good. I think they’ll catch on soon enough. Thank you for taking on so much here. If you’re up to it, I’d love for you to step up and be the assistant manager. I don’t want to shove too much on you, but you’re already doing half the job.”
“Really?” Nerves vibrate in my belly, but hope explodes in my chest.
“Clara, you’ve done amazing. I know you might’ve dreamed of a better career, but I’d be honoured.”
“I’d love it. Thank you so much.” She has no idea that I’ve never dreamed of any career, because I never thought I would make it out of Andrew’s house.
Hell, my only goal in life was to leave this fucking town, but now it’s not so bad.
I take off my apron and grab my bag. Checking out the window, I see Burke’s Lexus. We’ve worked on driving lessons, but I still prefer to be a passenger princess.
One day I’ll have to take the test and actually start driving, but until he makes me, I’ll milk this forever.
“Have a good night, Debbie. Thanks for everything,” I say and hug her.
She squeezes me back, and I’m grateful she’s part of my life.
“Oh, something came for you today. I have no idea when, but it was on the front counter. I put it under, but forgot.”
We head to the front, and she hands me an envelope like the last one.
As badly as I don’t want to touch it, I do, and fake grin before heading out the door.
“Dragonfly, how was your day?”
I throw the brown package at him and get into the car. “It was great. Until…” I glance at it.
“Fuck. Have you looked?”
Shaking my head, I put the heat on for my seat and buckle up. Burke gingerly opens it and takes out the photos. They’re us fucking against the dead body of my stepdad.
The interior of the car feels like it’s breathing, as if one big gulp of air would swallow me whole and I’d crush into the metal that encases us.
Letting out a slow breath, I glance around, grounding myself with the texture of the leather seats, my lower back getting warm. Staring out the window, I focus on the diner’s bricks and inhale the scent of Burke, tasting the blueberries I snuck from the pie.
“Well, I guess they know more than I thought.” I glance at him, wondering who could be behind this.
The rustle of paper fills the car before he tucks them into the glovebox and pulls out the burner phone. “What did you find on the family?”
I glance at him, and he puts the phone on the centre console.
Curt’s voice comes through: “Haven’t found anyone. Whole family’s dead. No relationships, nothing I can tie to him or Clara.”
“What?” I question.
“Sorry—protocol,” Curt tells me through the speaker. “We wanted to make sure that every base was covered.”
“Fair. Well, I got more pictures, and these are much more damning.” I fidget in the seat. This was supposed to go easy and not be a problem.
Curt lets out a string of curses. “What about security for a bit, Clara?”
“You promised.” I don’t want to feel this way. I should accept the help and let it go.
However, it makes my world feel a lot fucking smaller, even if this makes me dumber than a rock.
“I know. We’ll figure out something else.” He hangs up and I stare at Burke.
He reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear.
“I’ll do whatever I can to keep you safe.
I’m sorry it feels overbearing. I’ve never given my trust to anyone since Ryan’s mother.
She shattered my heart, and over the years I let it harden me.
You bring out softness and life in me I didn’t know I had anymore.
I respect your wishes, and we’ll find another way. I can’t lose you.”
I nuzzle into his hand and sigh. He’s been so easy going and caring with me, but I refuse to be controlled again. “I’m sorry I’m a pain in the ass.”
“But what an ass to look at.” He chuckles.
Smirking, I stare out the window as we drive home. My mind cycles through the past, trying to think of anyone that would be tied to Andrew, or even the house, but memories slice through my psyche like a blade, flashing the shameful cuts of the horrors I went through there.
Breathing deep again and trying the techniques we’ve gone over, I grit my jaw as tears form in my eyes.
The injustice of giving everything up in the past, only to be layered with damage from someone else. Like a hand-me-down coat I never asked to wear, a stain on my soul that follows me through life as I navigate through normal adult things.
What I did wasn’t right, but neither one of those men would have ever left me alone.
Their ghosts might haunt me as heavily as their punishments, but didn’t I give enough of myself enduring the abuse I couldn’t escape? The only way out was to strip them of their lives, and now someone who knows too much is laughing in my face.
“Clara, baby, we’re home. Let’s get you fed and in bed, okay?”
My mind clears the heart-wrenching memories, and I stare at Burke, his icy blue eyes filled with concern.
Looking at him, I don’t know how I’ll ever be what he needs. The woman wrapped in trauma, drenched in trepidation and dipped in shame.