Chapter 4
“Another mile?”
My breath huffs out of me in bursts of white as I jog, the quiet foggy morning masking it well. My brother Geo drags the back of his hand along his forehead, stopping to brace his hands on his knees.
“We’ve done seven. I’d like to be able to use the stairs in my house this weekend, Ford.” He peers up at me, sweat saturating a large portion of his faded gray t-shirt.
I use the hem of my shirt to swipe my forehead and upper lip. “So that’s a no on miles eight and nine?”
He chuckles as a bulbous bead of sweat follows an age line down the center of his forehead. “That’s a no.”
I can’t help myself. Playfully, I send a fist to his bicep.
“Those four extra years are starting to show, G.” The misty morning air, with the sun situated comfortably among the clouds, leaves his hair full of body.
I sift a hand through mine, finding it much the same.
Bad hair aside, I’ll always love the city.
My life was here. My life is here. My kids are here.
She is here.
My brother lifts the straw to the wearable water he keeps strapped to his back, and takes a drink. I huff and puff, but refuse to hydrate from a bag. He points the straw my way after his drink, offering me some. I wave it off. “That’s never gonna be anything but weird.”
He chuckles. “I guess unconventional is my style.”
“I said weird,” I reply, eyeing the straw as he slips it back into his mouth. He smacks his lips after he swallows, panting from the run and the big gulps of water back to back.
“Sutton told me you gave Katherine’s ring to Kat, for Zennie.” He looks down the stretch of bare road, littered with tiny commuter cars and garbage cans waiting to be picked up, then looks back at me. “Is that why we’re testing our knees this morning? Is it the ring?”
We start walking toward the long driveway that leads to my private residence. We always have a hot, fresh pressed espresso after a run. I cast a sidelong glance at my older brother, the very same man who fucked his way through the city only to end up in the arms of his son’s wife.
It’s complicated, and not my story to tell. But he isn’t wrong. It is a very unconventional lifestyle. One that I’d never have seen coming a mile away, but now that I’ve adjusted to Sutton and Avery, and George and Avery, I can honestly say, it works.
Not that they need anyone else’s approval to know that their relationship is special and layered, nor do they care if anyone understands. The three of them are the happiest they’ve ever been, apart or otherwise, and that speaks volumes.
I scratch the back of my head, my hair damp from sweat and mist. “I guess it’s somewhat the ring,” I finally answer, taking my time and appreciating that Geo understands me better than most. He doesn’t press. He gives me room to speak, time to think, space to get it out there.
“But I think more than anything, honestly, Kat getting engaged has made me focus more on…my future.” I don’t bother looking to see Geo’s knowing and unsurprised expression.
I feel him nod next to me as we move from the street up to the sidewalk, just a few paces away from my private gate.
“Tell me I’m a self-involved prick. Come on. ”
When I lift my chin and turn his way as we tread up the drive, I don’t see what I think I will. My brother isn’t wearing a smirk, and waiting to tell me I’m utterly selfish for using my daughter’s engagement as a recentering on myself.
Instead, he eyes me with that same, critical stare he’s famous for. It’s not a bad stare. But it is an assimilating stare, nonetheless. On the other side of that stare is the truth, and in this case–my truth.
“Well, what is it?” I ask, knowing he’s drawn some conclusion, since he pauses a third of the way up the drive, bracing a hand on his hip.
Geo puffs out a breath, grinding his jaw for a moment as he blinks at me. “Who is it? An ex of… Cade’s?”
I fall slack-jawed for a moment, surprised by his leap.
Not by the person he assumed but moreso, that he’s right.
I shake my head. “No.” I snicker a little.
“And if it were, I’d have had to have been secretly dating her for years now.
That’s how long it’s been since he’s dated anyone seriously, did you know that? ”
My brother starts up the drive, so I continue with him. He shakes his head, raking a hand down his chest, still catching up to his breathing. “I didn’t know but I’m not surprised. He and Sutton are very alike. He’ll find someone.”
I smile. “He will. I know. I just, I want that part of his life to be settled, you know?”
Geo ignores my comment before coming to an abrupt halt. “I don’t even know why I guessed Cade’s ex-girlfriend.” He swipes a hand through his silvering hair. His smile widens. “Juliette.” It’s not intentional, but as he pieces it together, his face falls. “Kat’s best friend.”
I don’t need to verbalize anything, because my reactive expression and head nodding give me away.
We continue up the drive in silence, because I’m not sure what to say. I like Juliette? Seems sophomoric and immature, but isn’t that the truth? Kat’s best friend, that’s how my brother identified Juliette… and that’s the problem.
She’s my daughter’s best friend. Growing up, Kat struggled to connect with other girls, but when Juliette came around when they were thirteen, life changed dramatically.
Kat laughed. She made plans. She had phone calls all night. She became the version of herself she always longed to be, and meeting Juliette was part of that unlock.
“How long has it been going on?” Geo breaks the silence wherein I was completely lost at sea in my mind.
Using the keypad on the front door, I type in the code and it opens, ushering my brother in front of me, into the house.
“Nothing is actually going on, Geo. I’ve never acted on a single thing.
But…” I trail off, unprepared to finish that sentence.
But what? My crush has grown more intense over the last few years?
Crush sounds asinine for someone my age.
And anyway, Kat’s about to start her life.
The last thing she needs is to be emotionally derailed by her dad dating her best friend.
Geo gets the espresso started as I pull cups down from the shelf, sliding them onto the marble countertop. “But?” he follows up.
I shake my head, swiping my hand down my chest as my heart rate regulates post run. “I don’t know. All the change is just stirring things up a bit. I’m sure it’ll die down after the ceremony.”
“Die down?” My older brother cocks an eyebrow as he presses fresh ground espresso into the press. “They’re feelings, not a noisy crowd at a concert, Ford.”
I lift one shoulder in a shrug. “I’ll manage. I have to. Juliette is off-limits.”
Geo says nothing but his judging gaze pins me to the floor, rendering me glued to the edge of my counter. “What?” I groan, tossing a hand his way to break the tension brought with his knowing stare. That’s the hard part–it is a knowing stare.
He slides the press into the machine, and it cranks to life, filling the large kitchen with the smell of fresh, hot coffee as it works. “You know, last year, about this time, I was telling myself that Avery was off-limits, too.”
I can’t help but laugh at that because– “I love you, brother, but you do realize that you are a one-in-a-million case of familial love and acceptance.”
His face goes stern as the espresso drips. “What does that mean?”
“I mean, the thing you have with Sutt and Avery, it’s incredible, truly.
But it was so unique, the way you and Avery came together, and how that balanced Sutton out–everyone accepts the three of you because it’s truly who you all are.
But me, me wanting to pursue Kat’s best friend?
That just makes me look like a horny old perv. ”
Geo nods, clearly understanding of my explanation. He fills the two demitasse cups and we sip. “Or,” he wagers after a few moments of sipping in silence. “You tell everyone what I already know, take it slow with Juliette and talk to Kat ahead of time. Seems like all that would work.”
I finish my espresso. “I don’t want everyone to know the truth.”
Geo smirks. “You know, it would make you look good.”
My phone rings, and I move around the kitchen to get to it. “I already look good,” I tell him, flexing my bicep as I reach for the phone. He rolls his eyes just as I glance at the screen and see my daughter calling.
At 7am on a workday.
My pulse skips as I reach for the phone.