Chapter 20 #2
“I know you didn’t go behind my back. I know this just… happened,” she says, and I nod my head, surprised by the tears that spring to my eyes. “But I know something else.”
I peek up at her through my lashes, and swipe at my tears. “What?”
“I know that you really need to talk to my dad. Okay? If there is absolutely anyone worth giving the benefit of the doubt, it’s him.”
From the coffee table, my phone vibrates and Ford’s name dances along the screen. My cheeks flame, because my body hasn’t caught up to my brain, and guilt hits me.
“I’ve been… I just know that I’ll never really get over him and I don’t want to make moving on any harder for myself, Kat.”
“You don’t need to move on. You need to call him back. Hell,” she gets to her feet, and the half-drank mugs of coffee wobble. “Get dressed. I’m taking you to him. Seriously.”
I get to my feet too, holding the end of my Santa jammies in my hand. “I’m not ready. Not even close. And no, Kat, I–”
She closes the few feet between us, and loops her hands around my wrists, tears suddenly glittering in her eyes.
“He came to me, before he even told you he was going to pursue you, and he told me that he feels something for you he hasn’t felt in years.
Beyond that, you need to talk to him but I’m saying this now Juliette because…
I reacted so shitty and then I sat with Zen and do you know what she said?
” Tears break free, but she lets them, not bothering to swipe as her eyes search mine.
“She said that I’ve been given something so special if I choose to receive it. And that's my best friend, the only person who knows me better than my wife, and my father, the most important man in my life, loving one another.”
“I don’t–” I do, though, so I let the sentence hang. I don’t want to lie to Kat, not anymore.
“What if, she said, the woman in my father’s life isn’t someone I have to get to know and come to love and accept but what if she’s someone I already love and adore?
” She shakes her head, smiling, licking at the tears that spill over her lips.
“I don’t know why I didn’t see it that way.
” She pulls me into a hug, and her lips press to my ear when she says, “I want you to be happy. You deserve it, and so does he.”
I want to ask her if he’s been unhappy, because it certainly hasn’t seemed that way.
But there’s no time, because as soon as she lets go, she’s carrying the mugs to the sink, ordering me around like we didn’t just have our biggest, most important talk ever.
“Go, put something on, and don’t do your hair and makeup.
We just don’t have time. We need to get to my dad.
Plus–” She pauses as my phone rings again, Ford’s name appearing across.
“Plus what?” I encourage her to finish her sentence while she blinks at the screen until Ford’s name falls away.
She points at the missed calls. “You’re really locked into ignoring him.”
I shrug. “I’ve gotten really good at protecting myself.”
A beat passes where I think she’s actually fully processing how I feel and the way I’ve viewed things. Finally, my best friend smiles. “Get good at being happy, because I promise, you’ll change your mind about everything.”
I pull my favorite pair of leggings out of the drawer in the hall, hoping to high heaven that my best friend is right.
I’d complain that Kat drove me to a construction site to get revenge on me except I know exactly why we’re at this site, and what it is.
“The new Velvet is coming here,” Kat says, before shifting her car into park, despite the fact we’re wonky in the parking spot. She turns to face me, tugging at the blue and black scarf around her neck. “He’s here. I checked his location and also just texted him that–”
We both turn, and peer out the filthy windshield to see Ford standing amidst the construction, phone in hand, screen lit up with Kat’s message still on display.
“That I’m bringing you,” she finally finishes, letting out a sigh as she turns to me.
I want to stare at Ford, drink him in for hours and analyze every changed detail about him, like the fact that there’s stubble on his jaw now, and he’s dressed in casual clothes, not a suit.
But Kat reaches across the center console and grabs my hand, waffling our fingers together.
“Look, he has things he needs to talk to you about, and I want you to know that if you still decide you can’t be with him, I support you. And you will always be my best friend.”
She glances out the windshield, and Ford, still frozen, looks between us.
She looks back at me. “But I want you to know, I’ve never seen my dad like this about anyone.
And if you two do get together, I support you both.
It’ll take some time to accept that my dad bones my bestie but–” She smiles, and we hug over the console.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I want you to know that I love you. And I really am glad that we have each other, no matter what.” My eyes sting with unshed tears, tears of adoration and respect for my best friend who has been through so damn much.
And here she is, showing up for me, her best friend who didn’t have the balls to come clean about her crush. “And I’m sorry everything unravelled like this. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my crush before but, I don’t know. It felt impossible.”
“Everything is possible, as long as you’re brave enough to name it.
” She smiles. “Now get out and go talk to him because look at him,” she says, waving her hand over the dash, toward the place where Ford lingers outside.
“He’s absolutely pathetic waiting for you to talk to him.
Tattoos, money,” she shakes her head. “Just a big softie.”
I pop my door open and Ford rushes to my side, but I have one more thing to say to Kat. “Thank you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Have my dad take you back home or whatever. Zennie and I are spending the day with her folks.”
I nod. “I will.”
Looking past me, she shouts at her dad. “Give her a ride home, I gotta go hang with my in-laws.” She looks at me, wearing a delighted smirk. “Damn, I just realized, if you guys make this work, we’ll be kinda related.”
I get out of the car and grab my purse, my cheeks heating when I feel Ford’s hand come down supportively and protectively over my lower back. “Tell Zennie I said hello.”
Gently, I close the door, and when I turn around, I find myself toe to toe with Ford.
He’s wearing black sweats and sneakers, a baseball cap–which is unusual–and a hoodie.
The dark ink beneath his eye gleams against the burgeoning sun, peeking through the hazy clouds.
He doesn’t look his age, and he never has.
“Hi,” I greet. “You look so different like this.” I tug the pocket of his sweat joggers, and he catches my hand, weaving our fingers together.
“I’ve been going mad trying to get in contact with you,” he says, bypassing the compliment as he guides me into the framed portion of the bar. He wastes no time getting to business. “Juliette, you have to know that Elle is only a friend. A close friend, but a friend.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want you to have to explain yourself to me. It’s your life. You shouldn’t have to explain your life.” I believe that, and that brings wetness to my eyes.
“I need to explain myself. I’ve built a life that now, with you in it, needs explaining, Juliette, so please, just… let me.” He takes my other hand, and the feeling of our hands waffled together makes warmth flare in my bones, radiating through me, bringing heat to the surface of my skin.
“Okay,” I tell him, my hopeful heart beating faster.
“Elle is my friend. Does Elle love me? Yes. But is she in love with me? No. She was Katherine’s friend, and in fact, I knew Elle before Katherine.
But there is nothing there other than two close friends.
And my kids will tell you that much. Anyone who knows us will tell you that much. Elle will tell you that much.”
He draws a deep breath before continuing.
“Juliette,” he starts, voice rough and gravelly from the dust swirling around from the half-constructed bar.
This meeting place feels like a metaphor for the emotional wreckage I've been living in since the wedding. “You have nothing to be jealous of. Do you understand? I want you and only you. I don’t want Elle, or a bar waitress, or, or whoever. I promise you, my eyes are only for you.”
Shattered tiles crunch under his sneakers as he shifts his weight, his broad frame silhouetted against the exposed beams, eyes burning with desire that makes my pulse thunder.
He reaches out, his strong fingers trembling as they cup my cheek, thumb tracing the curve of my jaw like I'm revered and special. I’ve been running from him because my jealousy couldn’t handle living in a city of the ghosts of all his lovers.
“That night, after the wedding,” he rasps, his breath hot against my skin.
“God, you terrified me. The way you felt in my arms, like my heart would really beat again, if we stayed that way. I felt alive again and I ran from it, from you, because it scared the hell out of me. It reminded me of Katherine, how I craved her with every damn breath until she was gone. I swore I'd never let myself want like that again, never risk that kind of loss. Hell I never thought I’d find it. But you... you slipped under my skin, made me see a future I put to bed years ago.”
His hands slide down, gripping my waist, pulling me flush against him amid the rubble, our bodies fitting like broken pieces begging to mend.
“I love you, Juliette. Every beautiful, ambitious part of you.
The way you chase your dreams, the fire in your heart for the people you love.
You're brilliant, and it drives me insane how much I need you... Every inch of you... inside and out.”
“You love me?” I repeat his words, questioning and unsure, because… seriously?
He kisses me, slow and soft, tender and sweet. The kind of kiss that shifts the world into place.
Ford nods. “I do. I was scared that night when we made love–”
I shake my head. “We didn’t make love. I mean, we started but–”
“That’s all it took. Those few moments inside you, it felt so right, you felt so right. A type of right I’d only ever felt one other time.”
“Katherine,” I murmur, Kat and Cade’s mother, who passed away when their kids were just four and six, respectively. He nods, finding my hands again, linking them together.
His voice drops to a growl, lips brushing my ear, sending shivers racing down my spine as he murmurs my name.
“I love everything about you. The way you open up to me, body and soul, trusting me with your secrets, and fears. I want you, and your pure soul. You’re hardworking and sweet and generous and–fuck.
I want to worship every perfect inch of you.
” He squeezes our joined hands and my chest aches.
“I’m dying to devour you until you're ruined for anyone else but me.
" He smiles, and my insides melt. “Of course, if you’ll let me.”
All I can manage is a nod.
My fears slip away when he collects me in his arms, and tugs me to his chest. Tears sting my eyes as he presses his forehead to mine, his mountainous chest heaving.
“I'm done being scared. You're mine, sweetheart. And I'm yours. I love you. More than I ever thought possible.” He tugs me back, peering down into my eyes. “And if you say yes, I’d like to take you back to my house and finish what was left painfully unfinished at the wedding. Let me show you how fucking sorry I am. How sorry I’ve been. Let me make things right. Let me make you feel the way I should have that night.”
Next thing I know, we’re in his SUV, headed to his house.