Chapter Sixteen
I was just setting Cam’s plate on the table the next evening when I heard his key in the lock. I’d picked up pizza because cooking was beyond me after today’s chaos at the store. There’d been a new release event; so many people, so many coffee orders, and the book sold out before noon.
We’d already ordered more books, supposed to arrive in a day or two.
Cam came through the door and found me right away. “Hey, beautiful,” he said, and kissed me.
I’d tried not to think about kissing Nate.
I told myself it wasn’t cheating—not when Cam was openly dating—but the guilt clung to me anyway.
Cam would never expect me to actually take him up on his arrangement; it was his way or the highway, and while he’d never forbid me, I doubted he’d like it if I did the same. Cam was jealous and possessive, always.
“Pizza?” he said, pulling out his chair.
“I’m just really tired tonight,” I said. “Takeout felt easier.”
“Are you coming down with something?”
Because, of course, the only reason I might ever be exhausted is if I was sick. As far as Cam knew, I still didn’t work. He assumed I spent my days reading and doing laundry. Which, to be fair, used to be true.
“Maybe,” I said.
He started in on his pizza, and I sat across from him, picking at my own slice.
“What do you want to do Saturday?” he asked, mouth half-full.
I shrugged. “Whatever you want.”
“I was thinking we could get away. My dad’s cabin? For your birthday.”
I stopped mid-chew. “My birthday?”
He frowned at me, half-grinning. “Yeah. Saturday. Did you forget?”
I pressed a palm to my forehead, embarrassed. “Honestly, it totally slipped my mind. I’ve lost all track of time lately.”
He laughed. “Well, what do you think? We’ll go up Friday night, spend the weekend. Jet skis in the daytime, and at night, fireside snuggles and lots of sex. Just the two of us. Like last time.”
The cabin was two hours away, tucked deep in the woods. Cam’s dad had let us use it for our honeymoon, back before Cam’s work had really taken off. The place was huge and beautiful, a lake within walking distance. I’d always loved it there.
“It sounds amazing,” I said, and as I said it, I realized I meant it. It had been too long since Cam and I had taken time just for us.
“Great. It’s settled.”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling. “Looking forward to it.”
∞∞∞
“You need something sexy for this trip,” Rachel declared, running her hands over a rack of lingerie.
“We’re here for you, not me,” I protested.
She tossed a lacy red thong at my head. “No reason we can’t shop for both. And for your birthday, I’m buying.”
I glared at her, joking. “You’re giving me underwear for my birthday? What kind of message is that?”
Rachel just grinned. “Trust me. It’s actually easier than shopping for you. And it’s not like you don’t need it.”
“I really don’t. And it’s not like Cam cares. He saves the risqué stuff for other women. I’m just the regular wife, remember?”
Rachel sifted through another rack. “How often are you guys even sleeping together?”
I glanced around, mortified. “Can you not say that so loud?”
She gave me an exasperated look. “Livi, we’re in a lingerie shop. No one cares.”
“Fine. A few times a week.”
“And how many times does he see his ‘side pieces’?”
“Once a week, Thursdays.”
She gave me a look like that was all the evidence she needed. “Exactly. You’re still number one. He wants you more than any of them. He’d probably love to see you in something new.”
I was tempted to tell her the truth: Cam would pick the other women more often, if it weren’t against the rules. But arguing seemed pointless, so I flipped through the hangers until something caught my eye.
A red two-piece, tied with a bow between the breasts, with open patches beneath each cup. The bottoms were lacy, cut high, nearly exposing everything.
Rachel let out a whistle. “Yes. That’s it. Sexy but not trashy. The perfect blend.”
“You’re insane,” I muttered.
She smirked. “I’m buying it. No use fighting me.”
I knew better than to bother. When Rachel made up her mind, that was that.
“You better wear it for him, too,” she said. “And I want the details.”
“Yes, boss,” I said, rolling my eyes.
She picked out a purple set for herself, and we checked out. I ignored the price; the look on Rachel’s face said she’d fight anyone who objected.
We found lunch in the food court, sinking into a booth with our sandwiches. It had been a slow morning at work, and Mr. Porter had sent both Nate and me home early.
“So, things are still good with Jackson?” I asked.
She grinned; cheeks pink. “He’s great. And not just in the bedroom.”
I bit into my Reuben, glad for the distraction.
“He’s actually a sweetheart. At first I thought he’d be a player, but he’s not. Not even a little.”
“Are you official?”
She shook her head. “Not yet. I’m holding back, but he wants it.”
“Have you seen anyone else?”
“No, not since the second week we met.”
“So you’re basically together. You just don’t want the label.”
She shrugged, toying with her sandwich. “It’s easier to walk away if it’s not official.”
I thought about that. “Would it bother you to see him with another woman?”
She smiled, but there was steel underneath. “I’d gouge her eyes out.”
I laughed. “Maybe it’s time you said yes.”
She rolled her eyes, tossing her hair. “You’re probably right—but I don’t know. I’m scared.”
“What’s scary about it?”
She hesitated. “I wish I could put my finger on it.”
We ate quietly, both in thought. Out of nowhere, I blurted, “I kissed Nate.”
Rachel’s jaw dropped. She put her sandwich down slowly.
“When?”
“Last Thursday. I went to his apartment. He made dinner, put on a movie. I dozed off and… when I woke up, we kissed.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh my God, Livi. Why didn’t you say something sooner? How was it?”
I held her gaze. “Amazingly good. Different—but really good.”
I waited for her judgment.
Instead, she just grinned. “You need to go for it. Like, go all the way.”
I nearly choked. “What?”
“I’m serious. I think it would be good for you. You and Cam have history, but he’s out there getting his kicks. Why shouldn’t you? Nate’s a good friend. He clearly cares about you. What’s the harm?”
“It could get messy,” I said. “Nate’s feelings for me go pretty deep. I think it would be more than just sex for him.”
“So?”
“So I don’t want to ruin our friendship. If I can’t give him more, it could all fall apart.”
She shrugged. “Start with sex. See what happens.”
I scoffed. “I love Cam. How do I sleep with Nate when my heart’s somewhere else?”
She leaned forward, her tone gentle but fierce. “Livi, Cam is sleeping with someone else every week. You deserve a break from this martyr routine. Enjoy yourself a little. Maybe it’ll wake Cam up.”
“How do you think Cam would take it if he found out?” I asked.
She raised her eyebrows. “Well, Nate would probably have to go into hiding—but maybe that’s the shock Cam needs.”
The idea unsettled me, but she had a point.
It was a lot to consider.