Chapter 4
Chapter Four
ALEX
“How high do you think a person can get before their brain spontaneously combusts?”
My lips pressed together as the wheels in my head turned. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
“Leave it to Easton to find out,” my friend, Eli, muttered.
We were supposed to be studying, as I was this close to failing my last bio test and jeopardizing my entire future.
Somewhere along the way, Eli and I got sidetracked, and he started complaining about his brother, which I found ten times more entertaining than enzymes.
In the short year I’d known Eli, I learned his family was a lot more lively than my own.
Something was always going on, and it wasn’t necessarily for the better, yet some idiotic part of me wished I had that chaoticness.
When the craziest drama in your life was hearing about a crayon getting stuck up someone’s nose from your eight-year-old niece, you start to crave other entertainment.
Eli chewed on the tip of his pen. “Sorry for blabbing. I know you’re trying to learn.”
“I’d rather hear about your pothead brother than look at another equation.”
“I’ve got stories that could last a lifetime.” He chuckled bitterly. Scratching his head through his dark, coiled hair, Eli’s eyes narrowed in on something behind me.
I held my breath. “What is it?”
“Someone is…” Eli trailed off, brows narrowed in questioning. “Do you know number nine?”
Number nine? Too curious not to see who he was talking about, my head turned over my shoulder, and my eyes searched. All I could see were other students studying at outdoor tables, someone jogging, and a group of guys lingering in the middle of the sidewalk and blocking traffic.
I almost ignored them, but my eyes widened when I realized that among the group was my forgetful ex-best friend.
I groaned internally, already more tense than before, and that was saying something because studying biology made my stress levels the highest. Why was River showing up everywhere I frequented? He had me thinking this was all part of some elaborate plan to beat a dead horse.
“I’ve been trying to figure out who he’s looking at; it’s you, Alex.”
My eyes found my River’s, already glued to me. Beside him was a blonde man with a man-bun that towered over the group as a whole. He spoke to River, blissfully unaware that his words weren’t being heard because his friend was too busy locking eyes with me.
And stupidly, I was maintaining our locked gazes.
It should have unnerved me how obviously River would watch me.
Maybe it was dramatic, but I’d say it bordered on stalker-ish behavior.
He’d show up at my apartment, began coming to one of my classes that he had never been to before, even though we’d been in school for over a month, and was constantly staring at me. There were too many coincidences.
Yet I couldn’t break eye contact.
Instead, River did it for us. One moment, we were the only two people in the area, the next his nose scrunched up in dismay as if he wasn’t the one watching me first. It was almost identical to the face he pulled in class when I felt his eyes on me then, too.
What game is he playing at?
Feeling humiliated, I turned back to Eli and hoped I didn’t look as uncomfortable as I was.
“That was fucking weird,” he murmured. “How does number nine know you?”
“Why do you keep calling him that?”
Eli pointed. “His number is on his athlete backpack.”
Wanting to check for myself, I found River again.
He wasn’t looking at me anymore, instead engaging in his friend’s conversation.
His black backpack displayed a bold red number nine, as well as his last name.
It was identical to the ones the group surrounding him wore.
I faced Eli before River could get the chance to embarrass me once again.
Elias rested his elbow on the table and his head in his hand impatiently. “Now, can you tell me who he is?”
Hmm. River was my childhood best friend who ripped my little heart out and stomped on it, only to then gaslight me into believing we never knew each other in the first place, seven years later.
But that explanation was dramatic.
“We were friends until the end of middle school and haven’t talked since then.” Was what I settled on, far less exaggerated than what I was thinking.
“You went to school together?” He asked, intrigued. I nodded. “What happened after middle school? Did he move away?”
I nodded again. “Yeah, but we stopped being friends before then.”
“Why?”
The question always made me laugh because it was the one I had been trying to answer for years.
I had my theories—his parents told him to do it; he found another best friend that wasn’t the loneliest one on the playground; he wasn’t as unaffected by the one kiss we shared as he claimed he was; and the list went on.
Regardless of the theories, the outcome remained the same. We weren’t friends anymore, and we weren’t friends now.
“I don’t know,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
Eli scratched his chin, eyes analyzing me. “You still miss him?”
How pathetic was I to still miss my best friend seven years later?
I turned my head over my shoulder again, and I let out a sigh when I laid eyes on River yet again. He had his hand pressed on his stomach as he laughed with his friends, cheeks rising and eyes lighting up in a way that made my heart clench.
It felt pathetic for me to watch his friends with envy for how casually they laughed with him. Seven years was a hell of a lot of time, and he’d clearly changed since then. Still, I wish the bright smile and giggles on his face were because of me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yeah. I know it’s pretty sad of me. He’s moved on so much he doesn’t know who I am, but I’m still stuck.”
“Not sad, man.” Eli smiled with sympathy. “I get it.”
For years, I played out in my head what it would be like if I ever saw River again.
We would spot each other at opposite ends of the room, then there would be a moment of hesitation while both of us stood in disbelief that it was truly real.
It wouldn’t take long before the moment of hesitation was replaced with giddy smiles and warm feelings as we ran toward each other like we were in a Disney movie.
River would tell me why he ghosted me in the first place. It would be a big misunderstanding between the two of us, something that could easily be forgiven. Then we would rekindle and catch up on the lost time.
Clearly, I lived in a fantasy land. The universe was fucked up for doing this to me. It should have kept River wherever he was before if all he was going to do was appear around me and not-so-subtly stare at me.
“Well,” Eli started as he sent a nasty look River’s way, “if the asshole wants to pretend that he doesn’t know you—which is such a terrible lie, by the way—let him. It’s his loss.”
It’s his loss. That was the same thing he told me after Killian broke up with me. Everyone offered that for comfort, but at what point did it stop being uplifting and simply become untrue?
“His loss,” I repeated.
After studying with Eli, I had to get home quickly because my sister was dropping my niece off in less than an hour, and I needed the place de-Salem-fied.
The mountain of dishes piled in the sink was unsurprising.
I emptied it and cleaned the dishes this morning before I left, but in the six hours I had been away, they rejuvenated.
My fists clenched at my sides at the sight, partly disappointed but mostly disgusted.
I knew picking up after Salem like his mom was only enabling him, but if I didn’t clean them, he was going to leave the dishes in there for days, and I couldn’t bear the thought of subjecting my niece to his filth.
Just as I started the sink water, my infamous roommate emerged from his bedroom. His freshly dyed black buzz cut was the first thing I noticed, and his pajama pants sagged as he trudged through the living room.
“Hey,” I started, hesitant and already afraid of where this was going. “Just wondering if you plan to do these at some point.”
Salem’s mouth grew wide as he yawned, not bothering to cover it. “I will.”
Considering I had been doing the dishes myself since we moved in, I’d say he was lying.
“Okay,” I muttered. “Also, I know I told you before, but my niece is coming over again. And I know you said it’s okay, but if it isn’t, you can tell me. I can work something out because I know you didn’t sign up for having a kid over all the time.”
I knew it was repetitive, but I always let Salem know before Millie came over. While he spent a lot of time either out of the apartment or in his room, constantly having a child in his space could get annoying.
“I seriously don’t care, Alex. It’s fine,” he said, his tone snippy.
Salem didn’t waste another second speaking to me before he left in his pajamas. I had no idea where he was going or when he was coming back; he didn’t bother to tell me. Maybe he was going to see River again—fuck, River was back on my mind.
It wasn’t long before the doorbell rang. Millie barged into the place like she owned it, skipping to her favorite spot on the couch with her iPad in hand, and I wondered if Anna had fed her a bag of sugar before dropping her off.
“Thanks for watching her, Alex.” My sister reached out to ruffle my hair, but I swatted it away. “She already had dinner, but I’m sure she’ll want a snack.”
“Alright,” I mumbled. “What time will you be back?”
“Before midnight,” Annabelle said before turning to her daughter. She snapped her fingers to gain Millie’s attention. “Mills, be good. Do you understand me?”
Millie’s arm extended forward, and she gave her mom a thumbs-up. Annabelle returned it with a satisfied smile.