Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
ALEX
The “epilepsy” was the worst during the ages of eight and ten, so the doctors put me on pills to manage it. It never worked out, and I was constantly lectured and scolded, like it was somehow my fault. “The medication works for other kids, why not you?”
After more appointments and lots of tests, Dr. Walters officially gave me a new diagnosis, but it only furthered my parents’ belief that I was the reason for my problems. If it wasn’t because of an imbalance in my brain but simply because I was stressed, then the answer was to stop being stressed.
“You don’t need therapy, Alexander,” my father’s voice boomed in my head. “Deal with your issues like the rest of us do.”
Dad nearly convinced me to avoid the cognitive-behavioral therapy session River pestered me to schedule.
I consistently failed to meet my parents’ standards, especially my father’s, and I wanted to show I could be strong like him.
But, I was working on not letting him dictate my every move, and considering it had been almost a month since we’d spoken, I’d say I was doing a decent job.
River wanted to be the one to take me to the appointment, but we scheduled it before realizing it was the same weekend of his tournaments. His first one was tonight, and I couldn’t wait to get home and watch him on the big screen.
Javier kindly took Millie and me, since I was watching her for the day, to the appointment. He offered to stay, but I turned him down. I didn’t want to burden him, though it was kind of him to bring us since I couldn’t drive.
The session was only an hour long, and I spent most of it answering general questions so the specialist could get to know me.
Therapy wasn’t at all like I expected; I imagined an interrogation under a bright light, but it turned out to be a normal conversation.
My therapist took a real liking to my bubbly niece, so much so that Millie left the appointment with three suckers and five stickers.
Outside the building, I pulled up the Uber app, and my jaw dropped at the predicted time. It was an hour wait before someone could drive us the ten minutes to my apartment.
“Why does this only happen to me?” I groaned.
Millie pulled the green sucker out of her mouth. “What’s wrong?”
I took her hand and led her to a bench. “It might take a while before we go home.”
The child let out a big, dramatic sigh, then continued eating her sucker. I was going to ask for one, since I needed a pick-me-up more than her, but I froze when my phone rang.
Anna. Why was she calling me? Wasn’t she supposed to be at work for three more hours?
Hesitantly, I picked up. “Hello?”
“Alex,” she stated, irritated. “I’ve been knocking for five minutes. Where are you?”
Shit. “We aren’t home.”
“Clearly. Where are you?”
I hadn’t told my sister about the seizures, therapy, River—none of it. Since Millie never told her about any of it, I kept my mouth shut too. Anna was super protective of me, just like Mom, and she wasn’t as quick to judge, but was instead… intense.
“Do you think the doctor will give me an extra lollipop if we go back in and ask?” Millie asked before biting off the little bit left of hers.
“Doctor? Alex, send me your location,” Annabelle demanded.
So much for that.
Annabelle arrived in under ten minutes, with a face that clearly asked, “Alex, what the hell?’’ I slid into the passenger seat and turned my head toward the window, and thankfully, my sister didn’t interrogate me during the car ride.
Once we were back at her house, and her daughter’s listening ears were in her room, it was fair game. “You’re in therapy now? For what?”
I flopped onto her couch and looked for the TV remote, shrugging.
“Don’t give me that,” she scoffed. “I know Dad didn’t put you in it. It was all you.”
Technically, it was all River’s doing. My heart swelled in my chest. Fuck, I missed him. He had only been away for two days, and I was already having withdrawals.
“I’ve had a few breakthroughs throughout the past month.” Finding the remote, I picked it up and switched to the sports channel. “Long story short, I don’t have epilepsy. I have another condition, and a treatment for it is a certain kind of therapy. Dad didn’t want me to go, but I went anyway.”
Anna sat next to me, deep in thought as she processed what I said. I expected another slew of questions, but instead, she sighed. “I’m proud of you for going against Dad, but why have you kept this from me? You watch Millie all the time, Alex. What if she saw?”
“She did,” I admitted, guilt churning within me. “River was there, and he calmed her down, but she was pretty freaked out.”
LSSU jerseys popped up on my TV screen. I made it just in time to watch the team burst onto the court at the start of the first game, radiating with confidence and joy. My eyes searched the players for the jersey that matched the one I had been wearing all day. It didn’t take me long.
There he was with his arm around Carson, likely hyping each other up before the match. Number nine. My boyfriend.
Anna was still pondering beside me, her expression pinched in confusion. “Mills never told me that happened.”
“You aren’t with her often enough for her to tell you anything,” I muttered before I could stop myself.
I looked away from the screen, about to apologize for what I’d said, but Anna raised a hand. “Don’t apologize. You’re right.”
As a twenty-five-year-old single mom, Anna did everything she could to give Millie the life she had as a kid. My niece wouldn’t enjoy half of her current luxuries if my sister didn’t work so hard. It was unfair that the price was less time with her mom.
“Her dad called me.”
My lip curled in dismay. “The asshole who abandoned his daughter?”
She waved a hand at me to keep my voice down, as Millie was still in the next room. “Yes. He says he wants to meet her.”
“Castrate him,” I fumed, dead serious.
“If only.” Anna snorted. He chose the church’s perception of him over his daughter, who came from an affair.
My head tilted, puzzled. She never told me the story of her and Millie’s dad because she didn’t believe he deserved to be spoken about.
“But if my child has the opportunity to have her father in her life, I don’t think I should take that away from her.” Anna rested her chin on her hand as she sighed. “She met him a few days ago.”
The starting five were lined up and ready when the whistle blew. Number three lunged for the ball, and River dashed to an opening at lightning speed. He was determined in every game, but his clenched jaw and focused eyes proved that this was the game.
After faking out an opponent, River was wide open, and the basketball flew to him. He caught it with ease and dribbled to the net, weaving in and out of the aggressive players gunning for him. I clutched the sofa while watching him on the court, feeling like I was in the match.
“She was happy to meet him and his wife, but I think she was a little confused.” Anna continued, invested in the game herself. “Millie was most excited to meet her brother, though.”
Pride swelled in me when River scored the first point of the game. Even with a hurt arm and minimal play time, he was still the best. It was killing me that I wasn’t there with him in the stands, but he knew I was watching at home, still wearing his jersey, of course.
“I hope her dad means well.” I put a comforting hand on Anna’s shoulder.
“Me too.” Tired, she reclined on the couch. “I think… I think I put a lot of pressure on you with Millie, and I’m sorry. You’re the only one who’s ever willing to help me, but if you being in therapy now tells me anything, it’s that I rely too much.”
“I’m your brother. You can count on me.”
“I know, but not like this.” She smiled sadly. “Please don’t wait so long to tell me things, okay? No secrets.”
No secrets.
My eyes were locked on the screen as I watched Carson bounce-pass the ball to River, but this time he wasn’t wide open. It was too late to take it back. River caught the ball, and with three defenders running toward him, he shot the ball from near half court.
And it went in. I leaped off the couch the second River jumped in, cheering on TV, like we were connected even thousands of miles apart. The camera zoomed in on him, and not only did he flash an award-winning smile, but he blew a kiss. A kiss to me.
I rubbed the back of my neck with a sheepish grin and turned to Anna. “Then I guess now’s the time to tell you that River is my boyfriend.”
“River’s your boyfriend!” squeaked a voice from beside me.
My niece’s curly pigtails bounced as she jumped up and down, her blue eyes locked on me. Meanwhile, her mom was staring me down with a skeptical eyebrow raise.
Where was I supposed to start with this story?
“Is the bed at least comfortable?”
I propped my phone against the wall and centered myself in the video call camera. River held the phone above his head with it pointed at his face as he let out a huff.
The bed creaked as he wiggled in it. “Hard as rock. It’s not fair. I could be sleeping in your lap right now.”
“Oh, is that all I am to you? Your personal bed?” I challenged with a smirk.
River’s eyes lit up as he laughed. “Can you really blame me? You’re the only bed I sleep peacefully in.”
As in, the only time he didn’t wake up from nightmares.
I still didn’t have the full story of how Mr. Moore ended up in a coma. River never brought it up, and he was avoiding having another conversation with his mom. Since so much was riding on this weekend, she wasn’t pushing it, but I knew it would come up once it was over.
My boyfriend’s smile relaxed as he brought the camera closer to his face. I leaned forward, legs crossed, so it felt like we were face-to-face and not thousands of miles apart.
“I miss you,” he whispered.
I’ve missed you for years.
The pain in my chest never fully went away, not until I saw River in my apartment again. Now that I had him again, he lit up my life, filling the void he left when we split.