Chapter 60 Tyler
Tyler
I didn’t even know where I was headed when I stormed out.
My legs just carried me down the street, past shuttered stores and pubs spilling drunk laughter onto the pavement.
I shoved my hands deep into my pockets, head down against the night air, pulling the hood of my sweater up around my face.
I kept walking until my chest stopped burning.
Eventually, I dropped onto a bench under a streetlamp, the wood damp with drizzle. My breath came hard, like I’d just played a five-setter. The fight replayed in my head on a loop, her eyes flashing with hurt, her voice cracking when she asked if I only married her to keep her locked to me.
That one fucking gutted me.
Because, Jesus, she couldn’t be more wrong.
I pressed my hands over my face, elbows on my knees. Everyone always left: my dad, half the girls I’d chased, even my own mother in every way that mattered. And Orla had looked at me like maybe she’d be next.
“Fuck this,” I muttered into my palms. I shouldn’t have walked out. Shouldn’t have let it fester. I needed to go home, talk to her, tell her the truth before she spun this into something it wasn’t.
But when I got back, the apartment was dark and silent. Too quiet.
“O?” I called, stepping into the kitchen. Nothing.
My gut sank. She was gone.
I rounded the kitchen island and opened the cupboard, grabbed the bottle of whiskey, and twisted the cap off like it was somehow to blame for all this. The first shot scorched my throat. The second I just poured into a glass and stared at it while I slumped at the table.
Tears burned hot behind my eyes. Why was I never enough for people to stay? Why did I always manage to fuck it up, even when I was trying my hardest not to?
I dropped my head into my arms, the fabric warm against my forehead, the glass still staring at me, judging me.
That’s where I stayed until I heard the key in the lock.
I dragged my head up, blinking hard, ashamed that she was about to find me like this, as the shell of a man I always reverted to when things got tough.The whiskey sat accusingly between us on the table.
She stepped inside, shutting the door behind her. For a moment she didn’t speak, just looked from me to the bottle and back again, her mouth set, eyes knowing. It cut worse than if she’d yelled at me.
Finally, she exhaled. “Tyler, look… I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have snapped. I just—” She pushed a hand through her hair, faltering. “I just feel like…sometimes…you only need me because you’re scared of being alone again.”
I knew I shouldn’t have let it but a bitter chortle came out of me. “What, because of my abandonment issues?” I shook my head, flexed my jaw, biting down on the ache in my throat. “I know what you think, O. That I married you to trap you. To stop you from walking away.”
Her expression softened instantly, guilt flickering across her face. “Tyler, no. Look…I don’t. I shouldn’t have said it. I let everything get on top of me and I lashed out. That’s on me.”
I leaned back in the chair, huffing out a breath that shook more than I wanted it to. My throat felt tight, the words clawing their way up before I could stop them.
“You don’t get it, O…”
Her brows drew together, like she already knew she wasn’t going to like what came next.
“I don’t know how love works without waiting for it to be taken away,” I whispered, my voice breaking around the truth I’d never had the balls to say out loud before. “I keep thinking one day you’ll wake up and realize I’m just like her. And then I’ll be back where I started—alone.”
Her breath drew in sharply, eyes glassy. She crossed the space between us and sank onto my lap, cupping my face in both hands.
“I’m not going anywhere, Tyler,” she said fiercely. “Not because you’re scared, not because you want me to stay, but because I love you. You have to believe that.”
Her words should have soothed me, but it still felt like they ripped something open.
I let out a low, jagged sound, shaking my head.
“How can you even think I don’t love you, Orla?
After everything? Christ, I don’t know what more I can do to prove it.
I’ve laid myself bare, I’ve—” My throat closed around the rest. “It guts me that you can still believe I’d marry you just to keep you trapped. ”
Her thumb brushed away a tear I hadn’t realized had slipped free. She held my jaw firmly, forcing me to meet her eyes.“Then marry me again,” she whispered firmly. “In front of everyone. Not just Vegas. Not just because it was easy. Stand up there with me in July and show the whole world.”
I just stared at her, my chest hammering, my jaw tight. Then I leaned in and pressed my mouth to hers, slow and desperate, tasting the salt of the tears we’d both spilled.
As I drew back I pressed my forehead gently to hers.
“You’re not just someone I give a paycheck to keep around.
You’re my wife. The woman I adore. Maybe I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that, but it killed me, seeing you worn down, giving everything to everyone until there’s nothing left for yourself.
I didn’t want to lose you to the same shit that’s swallowed me my whole life. ”
Her gaze burned through me, fierce and tender all at once. “Then stop trying to act like you have to own me. I’m here because I love you. I don’t need anything more from you.”
I closed my eyes, breathing her in because there was no way in hell I was ever losing this woman.