Chapter 12
Elen a
I always hated talking. One of the many reasons I am the listener and not the talker but somehow with Gabriel all I want to do is talk. He spikes up a feeling in me that I never felt with anyone and also, he is making me curse a lot.
It’s not that I think it’s bad to curse, I just don’t like vulgar language to insult people and I would rather use smart words to bring them down.
Not that I like bringing people down because I love to see the positive in everyone but you get the point.
And the talking…
I don’t get shit talking at all. Why do you hate something so much about me that you have to talk shit about it?
Recently I have started to tolerate talking. Not shit talking. I should really stop saying shit.
Shit, I said it again.
Nope.
Another habit is happening.
Back to talking. I have started to tolerate whatever kind of talk Gabriel is talking about.
Let’s say he has a passion for… dirty talking.
And lord does his voice drive me crazy. I have been trying to avoid him at all costs ever since that awkward morning at his apartment and it has only been a day and I am already being tortured because right now, ring shopping is on our to do at work list.
If I told anyone I am currently banging my head against a wall, they would be concerned. And mentally I am. Except it’s my stupid thoughts that I am somehow banging against my brain because how stupid am I to agree to that shit? It's one thing to kiss him at a bar but it's another thing to be in a fake engagement with him. And it’s a whole different thing to flirt with him at the office because last night I came to the conclusion that I was indeed - like Charles said - flirting. Not just at the office but in general.
I want to die.
It just hit me.
First off all, two weeks with him in Venice and his family. Death.
Second, it’s a FAMILY VACATION with him.
And third I am lying to my parents , saying that I am engaged. How stupid is that? I hate lying especially to my parents who taught me better than this. They taught me to always be kind, never lie and always make sure to have pepper spray with me.
Why didn’t I think of that at the party?
Damn you, brain.
And now I am even stupid ring shopping with him because, surprise, I need an engagement ring. Preferably silver in a round or emerald shape. I love diamonds. Who doesn’t ask the great question? Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
After her vibrator of course.
“This one?” He asks as he points to a silver ring with a white diamond in the shape of an oval. No offence but that does not suit my style.
“Can you look me in the eye for a moment?”
He turns to me with confusion written all over his face. I reach for his face, my fingers burning over his soft skin that is so smooth and also covered by a trimmed beard. I move his head back and forth, inspecting his eyes. He stares at me intensely and a smirk grows on his lips as I stop moving his head and without realising get lost in his eyes. They are grey like the little light you can see in a dark forest at night. Or the full moon at night. So eye-catching and interesting. I snap back as soon as it hit me that I was literally an inch away from his lips and our breaths nearly counted as one. “You are not blind, are you?”
“No?”
“Then how the hell is that a round or emerald shape? I am sorry if I am sounding rude but if we want to make this seem realistic to my parents, they will know what kind of engagement ring I would want, boss.”
“Didn’t I tell you to stop calling me that?”
“Right,” I nod in understanding. “I don’t listen to you outside of work, did you forget?”
“Maybe you should.”
I nod my head back and forth. “No, I should not.” I don’t know what has gotten into me but every time I am with him, my inner brat activates and suddenly I am the worst.
Oh my god, I am the worst.
“You said round?” The salesman asks me as he approaches us, his French accent clinging to his voice. It’s so perfect. I love French men and their accents. “We recently got a new collection of the Sofia Calvetti brand. New to the market and very popular among younger people like yourself.'' He guides us to the stand, and I am whipped when I see the new collection. It’s not just a ring. It’s a bracelet, a necklace, and countless other rings. They all look fabulous and the best part is that they are pink diamonds.
“Can I try on this ring, ehm?” I ask, struggling to get his name as he has no name tag nor did he tell me.
He sees my struggle and gives me his name. “Pablo.”
I smile as I repeat his name and in that moment I can feel a warm arm snake around my waist and Gabriel pulls me closer to him. I shoot him a quick glare, removing his warm hand from my waist but he quickly attached it back. I take a deep breath to gather myself and God forbid not strangle him. “I would love to try this ring on.”
“Madam, would you also like to try the bracelet? It would go perfectly with that skin of yours. Pink would compliment you perfectly.” He gets a hold of my hand, holding on to it as he circles my wrist with his index finger. Gabriel pushes his hand away, squeezing us closer together. My skin starts to prickle with anxiety. Or maybe excitement?
“She would love to but quit touching my wife.” He curses at the salesmen and my eyes widen in shock. Oh hell, he did not.
“Gabriel,” I curse at him and while the salesman disappears from our sight, I turn to him, peeling his arm from my waist and I am not going to lie, his warm touch is missed on my waist the second I pull it away. “You are acting stupid. And I am not your wife. And never will be.” I whisper-shout at him, making sure no one around can hear us.
He steps closer, closing the gap between us completely. “Maybe not yet. But definitely in the future.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You will be wearing my ring, ergo, you are mine.”
“I am not yours.” I correct him coldly, or at least try to act cold while I feel like my heart is racing out of my chest.
“Keep lying to yourself, love,” his hands reach for me and he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, my cheeks burn up from his proximity and touch, flaming up. “But we both know how much you are mine as much as I am yours.”
“Really?” I ask him, sarcasm behind my voice. He nods, and I laugh at how ignorant that all sounds. He can’t just claim me like I am some property to be claimed. I am a person with feelings - even if those are heightened at his words.
“Here, the ring you asked to see.” Pablo grabs back my attention and takes the ring out of the glass box, handing it over on a silver platter. My gaze is stuck on the ring as I admire it with them. The pink square diamond shines under the lights of the store and it’s so ethereal and way better than in my imagination. I always imagined the guy of my dreams - not the one next to me - would go down on one knee while holding that ring and saying the most beautiful words I have ever heard. Guess I have to settle for this.
For now.
He stretches out his hand before me, giving me the knowing look that I should give him my hand.
“I can manage myself, thank you very much.” I tell him and reach for the ring but before I can my hand is pulled away by his warm one and an electric source run over my hand all the way to my spine. I take a deep breath as his touch manages to rile me up every time.
“I know you can, I still want to do it,” he says, still in that husky deep tone as he picks up the ring from the silver platter and my nerves start to play up and my hands start shaking. Even if this isn’t something serious I still get nervous about this because after today, I am engaged. Fake engaged if we are being real here.
I take a deep breath as he slips the ring on my left ring finger, the ring fitting perfectly as if it was made for me. Pablo wasn’t lying when he said the colour would suit my skin tone. The pink colour of the diamond shines over my tanned skin, shining bright and even blinding under the light. The cold of the medal of the ring cools down the one spot of my finger while the rest of me feels like I am about to burst into flames. His touch on me does unimaginable things to me and if this is what hell feels like then I want to leave because he is getting too close to comfort.
“Fits like a charm.” He whispers as he is now closer than we were ever before - except for the club part that I have been trying to erase from my mind since it happened. They way his lips were so soft and fiery at the same time and how he devoured me like a mad man looking for his last oxygen as he was drowning. The feeling of his hands all over me, burning me up as if I was standing over a fire and yet that feeling was so comforting.
I nod frantically, smiling nervously as I start to grow uncomfortable how good he feels. The last time I felt this good with a guy ended up with a heart break.
He gives me a suspicious glance, before I pull my hand away from him, the warmth of his hands leaving me empty.
Pablo clears his throat next to us and holds out the open bracelet to put on me but gets stopped from Gabriel once again.
“No need to try it on. We’ll take the whole collection. I’m sure they will look fabulous on my wife. And make it fast.” He demands Pablo, Gabriel's gaze turns cold when he looks at the worker and he gets to work immediately and packs up the rest of the collection.
“Are you crazy? Only the ring.” I whisper and shout at him as we stand there. He looks at me with an amused look on his face and a smirk slowly starts to grow on it.
“But they look fabulous on you. Make sure to wear them in Venice?”
“It's way too expensive.” He raises an eyebrow at me. I nod in understanding. “Right, I forgot you are a millionaire and don’t know the concept of money.”
“That’s insulting. I’m a billionaire, sweetheart.”
“Right,” I nod my head understanding, but he sees right through me and already knows that I am just mocking him. “Alright mister billionaire. I don’t need the whole set, just the ring.”
“I don’t care what you need. I am going to buy you those and then I will see you wear them in Venice along with a beautiful white satin dress and look gorgeous as ever there. And then if you are a good girl there,” I keep my hand on the counter as he steps closer and my grip tightens on the glass.
He leans forward, his lips close to my ear shells and the breeze coming out of his mouth sending shock waves down my spine, all the way to my sex. I clench my thighs as he keeps whispering words in my ear. “And then…” he drags the words before he stops completely until I can only feel his hot breath down my neck.
I look over my shoulder, our eyes clash and it feels like I am burning up as I feel his hand wrapped around my wrist. “And then?” the whisper barely came out.
“You have to find out.”
I shrug my shoulders at him in disbelief. “You are crazy.”
“You are driving me crazy, love.” He lets go of my wrist.
“I am driving you crazy?”
“Like hell you are.”
He moves his hand to my face, cupping my chin with his index and thumb and pulls me closer, our breaths now counting as one. I stop him and place my hand on his toned chest, and it starts to burn up even though I am not even touching him. What the hell has he done to me? This is so wrong; he is my boss. This whole thing is just strictly business. “We can’t.”
“I know.”
“Then stop.”
“I can't. You are making it impossible.”
“Then tell me how I can make it possible.” I suggest and slowly start to peel his arms from my waist but he just tightens his grip.
“You can’t.” He whispers.
“I will find a way. This- whatever we are doing will be our biggest mistake and I cannot let that happen.” I push his arm away, finding the oxygen to finally breathe as he is taking my breath away with all of him.
What the hell have I just done?
***
I groan as my head hits the pillow on my bed. Yes, he has been driving me crazy just like he said but whatever happened at the jeweller shop cannot happen again because… because it’s wrong. I feel the warm hand of Reneé’s run through my hair as I keep my face down on the pillow.
“Let all the frustrating feelings out, Lena. I get it.” She tells me as she soothes my hair and massages my scalp with her nails as she runs her fingers through my hair.
I lift my head up, “Do you?”
“No but I have sympathy for you and will act like I do.”
I let out a cry - not a real cry but a sort of mocking cry and crash my head back in the pillow, keeping my arms spread out on the bed like a sea star. My phone rings next to my head and I pick it up without a second thought. “Hello?”
“Hello to you too, baby.”
I spring up from my lying position, now sitting on my bed with the speaker on to let Reneè hear me in the conversation. “Ben?”
“So, you do know who I am? Why haven’t you been picking up your phone?”
“I have been busy,” I stutter for a moment on how to continue my sentence. “With my boyfriend.”
“Pulling the boyfriend card seems a little weak, don’t you think so too?”
Reneè makes weird faces behind the phone, giving me direction on what to say except I don't understand anything she is signing. “What do you want?”
“A date with you again.”
“Oh yeah sure,” I laugh. “In your wildest dreams maybe but not in this lifetime.”
“We’ll see.” Remind me again why I still have a little attraction to him? He is starting to creep me out and that is weird.
“Goodbyyyyyyeeee.” I sing into the microphone and hang up before he could say anything again. I lay back down on the bed with a thud and avert my gaze to Reneè.
“In your wildest dreams.” She mocks me in a high-pitched voice, playing with her hair as if I was doing it .
“We’ll see.” I mock his words and me and Reneè break into a laugh fit at how ridiculous his words sounded. No matter the situation, I know I can always trust Reneè that she will step in and try to turn the dark into a light and bring my mood back up. She is the other half of me and without her I would be nowhere. I would be lost in a dark forest if my mind and probably still dating Ben while regretting my life.