Chapter 29
Elena
‘Who said I didn’t mean it, my love.’
My love.
MY LOVE. ??Why does he keep calling me that? Everything between us is a straight up arrangement. Many people did not surround us, certainly not those who need to know we are engaged.
All we had so far we had two kisses and one too many almost kisses, it can’t be if he feels the same way about me. It could just be that he seems to me the same as Mio.
A physical relationship and I don’t need those in my life. I get attached too easily to pull them off properly.
I turn in the bed, the bed sheet rustling in the deep silence. Gabriel is fast asleep but I can’t seem to keep an eye close for longer than a second before I start overthinking his words all over again.
He seems peaceful when he sleeps. Quiet. Subtle.
To its own accord, my hand moves to his face and I move the strands of hair that are falling to his forehead away. My finger brushes against his skin and his eyebrows furrow at the sudden touch.
He is a light sleeper for sure.
No surprise he woke up to my accidental alarm the morning before.
Quite daydreaming and sleep, Elena!
I am driving myself crazy here by overthinking the words he said tonight and I need energy for tomorrow to continue to argue with Mio.
Yes, I have made it my life lesson to bring down Noa. Gracefully but not to hurt her in any kind or be too mean. I still have to give her a compliment or two so I don’t seem too mean because kindness goes a long way.
The more I think about the words I just said in my brain the more I realise how stupid and idiotic I sound.
“What’s keeping you up, Lena?”
My heart stands still at the sound of his deep and sleepy voice, his face still pressed against his pillow.
Maybe he is just sleeping.
“Or maybe he got woken up by your moving around.” he mumbles again.
My eyes widen in shock and I look up to the ceiling to avoid eye contact.
Did I say that out loud?
“What?”
“What is going on in that pretty head of yours?” His voice sounds clearer. When I look over to him again, he is sitting on his back, his head against his head. He rubs his eyes awake and yawns when he fully opens his eyes.
“Nothing.” I say.
“Something must be keeping you awake, my love.”
‘This is keeping me awake!’ I shout at him in my head. I want to tell him that but then he might see me as attached and pathetic and once again, I don’t need that.
I am attached. That is why I am trying so hard to ignore whatever is floating between us.
“Nerves, I guess.” I mumble my lie. It might be nerves that keep me awake but at the time it is not nerves.
“For tomorrow?”
No, the night because Peter Pan might come and bring me to neverland. Why else, Gabriel?”
I just nod at him, keeping my lips clamped shut because I won’t be caught saying stupid stuff.
‘I am sleep deprived; I am sleep deprived. I can get through the night. I will sleep soon.’ I repeat the words over and over again.
“Don’t be. You have me.”
I groan in a high-pitched tone and pinch the bridge of my nose. I rub the spot between my eyebrows before I wipe my hand all over my face.
I will regret that in the morning.
“I do.”
“Is everything okay?”
I hold my breath for a moment to think about my answer instead of shouting out peaches. Again. “Yeah…”
“Want to talk? Maybe it will help you sleep.”
I shake my head at his suggestion. “No, it’s okay. Go back to sleep. I am sorry that I woke you up.”