Chapter 44
Gabriel
It has been three days, nineteen hours and thirty-four minutes since the last time Elena has looked or even talked to me. It has been three days, nineteen hours, and thirty-five minutes since I have been in misery because my wife won’t talk to me.
Once again I am standing in front of her apartment door and once again she is ignoring the bell. Just as I was about to hang the Swarovski bag on the door handle just like I have the other bags the last few days, the door opened.
“Elena,” I call out her name and it feels like heaven finally being able to see her again.
“That’s my name,” she chuckles and it sounds like a melody hearing her voice. She hasn’t been at work the last three days, called in sick.
We stand in silence and I take the time to admire her because I am not sure when I will be graced by her again. As if I am a child, my heart skips a beat when her eyes don’t seem to look away like she did when she left. I am ashamed of myself. For the fucked-up way I handle the plan with Mio and losing her in the process. I haven’t been able to sleep the last few days.
I have been up at night, trying to find a way to get her back. I just need her. More than anyone.
“Thank you for uhm-” she clears her throat; her gaze averts to the ground and she shifts around. “For the flowers, the necklace, the bracelet and for bringing over food. It was not necessary but thank you.”
“It was. Elena.”
“Gabriel,” she calls my name out at the same time. We both laugh at the awkward cut off.
“Would you like to come in?” she points behind her, inside her apartment. “I can make us some tea.”
I nod without another word, afraid that she might rethink her invitation and walk into her apartment. I take my shoes off as I step in as I know she hates people who walk around the apartment with shoes. Honestly, those people who do are psycho.
“Mentioned just before, thank you for the gifts but I think the smartest thing to do is to return them.”
“They’re yours to keep. I won’t return them.”
“Gabriel, they cost a fucking liver.”
“A liver I would sacrifice for you over and over again.”
“You are insane,” she chuckles, and walks away into the living room. I watch her with much admiration that I have for her as she sits down on the couch. My lips part as I wait for the words to finally slip out. The words that are at the tip of my tongue, words that speak out my thoughts. The thoughts that are her.
The ones which make my heart race a million kilometres per hour as if I am in the world’s fastest race car. Make me go crazy and the ones who make my dreams a million times better. I used to never dream but now every time I lay in bed I pray that I get to see her.
If I cannot see her in my conscious then let it be in my unconscious. With a beating heart I let out words that I have been wanting to say for weeks but didn’t because I really don’t want to push her boundaries. “I’m insane because I love you, Elena,” I say, my hands fall down my body but the anxiety I am feeling is making me want to rip out my hair. I’m not a religious man but if there is ever a time to thank God, then I want to thank him for making her part of my life. For making her mine, even if it was for a short amount of time.
I have never been this nervous saying words to someone.
“Gabriel,” she whispers in a hurtful tone, one that shatters my heart into a thousand pieces.
I rush to her side and sit down next to her. I reach for her hands, and hold them, needing to feel her after having been apart from her for so long. “You don’t have to say anything but I just wanted you to know. Just know that I love you. I have loved you since the moment you kissed me in that bar. I have fallen in love with you even more when I realised who you were when you came into my company. I loved you so much, in secret even, so much I went through lengths to have you, and to keep you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I lied when I said that I told my mother that I said my fake fiancé’s name is Elena.” I repeat my words I said a few weeks ago, feeling like a high school boy who plot something with his friends to get the girl, and I would do it a million times again if it means I get to have her. Even for a few seconds. “You know that I didn’t tell her a name. Any at all. I lied to you, hoping to convince you to come with me because that was all I wanted, and all I needed . I was and am so desperately in love with you which made me lie just so I could have you to myself for ten days.” I swallow the lump in my throat. My voice breaks as I continue.
“But the last three days have been torture not having, not being able to see you, and admire you. You have this lightness to you, as if you are powered by the sun, always smiling, and always have good words for everyone and anyone. Every time you enter the building you carry this light with you, and every time I am around you,” I swallow as my throat has gone dry. “You- or rather I am the luckiest man alive to me able to have stood by you and soak up even a little bit of your light, and only if you want me back I would work our entire lives to make up for the mistakes I made.”
A tear slides down from her right eye until it falls on her jeans and yet she is smiling.
My eyes sting the longer I talk. God how do people handle crying? it*s like alien fluid is coming out of one's eye.
“I do expect you to say anything in return and I am willing to wait if you will still have me.”
“Still have you? Gabriel, are you kidding me?” She chuckles, moving closer to me on the sofa until our thighs touch. “I acted like an insecure little girl, walking away without letting you explain yourself. I know that and not being at work the last couple was just stupid. Renee brought some light to the truth with her words. She’s right when she says that I have trust issues, and I do but I also get attached really easily and having those issues combined is kind of weird. Most of the time I am weary of people but at the same time I cannot help but be intrigued by them. I kind of push and pull people all the time. When I saw you with Mio, all I could see was him. I knew you could never in a million years be like him but at that moment I wasn’t thinking rationally. I should have let you explain.” She huffs out a heavy breath. Comfortable silence swims in the air as we watch each in peace. “Why were you with Mio?” She whispers.
“My mother is blackmailing her.”
“What? Why? With what?”
“A tape. If something like that gets out, her reputation and her family would be ruined.”
“What tape? Like a sex tape?”
I nod. “Yep.”
“Seriously?”
“Hmm,” I hum. “With her bodyguard.”
Her eyes widen, her mouth gapes open and she laughs. “Her bodyguard? How the hell does your mom have the tape?”
“We don’t know. But she has it on her laptop and I said I would help her.”
“What’s the plan?” Her question surprises me but doesn’t surprise me. She always wants to help.
“You want to help even if she was kind of mean to you?”
“She had her reasons.” She shrugs off how mean Mio was to her but I won’t. I am not as forgiving as her and that’s okay. “And like you mentioned, I like to help people.”
“If it makes you feel better, she did threaten to cut my balls off if I end up hurting you?”
“She seems nice. Might not want to mention how I found you.”
“Elena…”
“I’m joking with you. Forgive but never forget right?”
“You don’t have to.”
“But I am and you can’t stop me.”
“I won’t because those are the greatest words I have heard.”
“Really? Better than this?” Without another word she places a hand around the nape of my neck and leans in to kiss me and I feel as though I am in heaven.