Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Wolf
O ur pack is large, and something is always going on that needs my attention. Today a couple of younger shifters have snuck off to bed a local farm lass when they should be out on patrol. As pack enforcer, my job is to set the pair of them to rights.
Together with my two lieutenants, Glen and Clay, I wait on the forest’s edge close to the farm in wolf form and await the wayward pack members.
They emerge from the back of the barn with a swagger, shift to wolf form, and dash for the trees.
Their footfall slows as they notice me waiting. “How was your patrol?” I ask casually.
“We were just ? —”
“Save it,” I snarl, lunging for the nearest damn pup. I have him by the throat and underneath me on the floor. The other one spins around, whether to wade in or flee, I don’t know. Either way, my lieutenants move to cut him off.
The one beneath me whines as I squeeze my jaw around his throat, forcing him to submit and endure the humiliation of being bested.
“The pack leader doesn’t care what you get up to with the lasses so long as they are congenial. But he also doesn’t expect you to be fucking them when you should be on patrol.”
“It won’t happen again,” the one beneath me whimpers.
“Damn right, it won’t happen again. Because if it does, I will rip a hole in your useless hide and run you out of the pack.”
He trembles beneath me. I hope this is the only time I need to make an impression on him. He has been a good pack member otherwise, but as can happen with the younger wolves, as they mature and take on responsibilities, the power goes to their fucking head. Their mind strays to rutting, and they neglect their duties.
I rake my claws down his side as I release his throat. Then I slam into him, sending him bowling before I turn on his companion and give him a beating, too. My growl is vicious, and my bite deadly were I not tempering it. I take him by the scruff of the neck and shake him about.
They are wolf shifters. They can take all I do and more. Yet I need to leave them with fear in their belly and a lasting impression regarding the consequences of pissing the pack enforcer off.
They bow submissively before me, their snouts against the forest floor and their necks exposed.
“Do not let me catch you neglecting duties again.”
“We won’t, enforcer,” they say in unison.
“Get back to your patrol.”
As they dart off into the forest, I turn to my lieutenants.
Glen’s tongue rolls on the side of his mouth.
“They are mostly good lads,” Clay says, his amusement evident through the bond. “I believe the fear of your wrath and the humiliation of the beating will keep them in line.”
“Let us hope so,” I agree. I do not enjoy putting a wolf in his place, but I don’t shy away from it either. My word and wrath carry weight, for if a wolf draws my attention, be it good or bad, you can bet I will be letting the pack leader know about it.
We continue on our way, stopping to exchange words with a local farmer who has seen trouble with raiders before turning back toward the heart of the pack.
Raiders.
Bear shifters with trouble on their mind.
And a neighboring wolf shifter pack who are ever testing us.
Orc raids.
And a couple of damn pups rutting a farm lass when they should be on patrol.
Life is never quiet in a pack, and we must be ever vigilant.
We have a good leader—a steady man. But that can change.
Slowing to a trot on the outskirts of the pack village, I pause at the river and lap the cool water in wolf form before I shift to human.
Glen and Clay follow suit.
“Have you made a decision?” Glen asks.
“About the lass,” Clay elaborates as if I don’t already fucking know.
My low, distinctly wolven growl is a warning, one unlikely to deter either of the nosy bastards.
With a heart-shaped face, wavy honey blonde hair, plump cupid bow lips, and big brown eyes, Fawn is as pretty as she is willful. She also doesn’t have a lick of sense. Her cottage sits apart from the pack village, which has long given me concerns. Our patrols cover the area regularly, ensuring the greater pack lands are safe. Still, it is no place for a lass alone.
She needs a husband, preferably one with the necessary disposition to take her in hand. “She would be better off at the human village,” I say.
“She won’t agree to that,” Clay says.
“She has lived in that cottage since she first arrived,” Glen adds.
I turn to scowl at the pair of them. “I do not fucking care,” I say. “I don’t have time to keep dealing with her mischief.”
“If she goes to the village, she’ll just get into a different kind of mischief,” Clay says.
I shrug. “At least when she does, it won’t be my responsibility.”
Fawn
I wake up from a sweet dream where Wolf is kissing me, convinced that the spanking represents a new and favorable development in my quest to make him mine.
Humming to myself, I swiftly complete my morning chores. Then I fill my basket with a dozen eggs and take the short walk to the pack village with Blue trotting along at my side. He’s a happy mutt and enjoys any reason to be out.
Many packs are situated in caves underground, but Blackrock village is built on the lower slopes of the mountain. While the center is relatively flat, many of the surrounding cottages are built on stilts nestled among the steep, forested slopes.
I call out greetings to pack members as I walk steadily uphill until I come into the village proper. It looks much like a human village with little cabins and cottages, some with small plots, but most without, for the ground is rocky and not conducive to farming.
Shifters eat a meat-rich diet, but they have a few humans here, one in particular that I visit often.
Opening the backdoor to the small cabin that was once my best friend’s home, I call out a greeting and step inside. Luna left the pack last year after the half-orc object of her affections finally saw the light and mated her for life. They now live in the Imperium lands on the other side of the sea.
Her mother, Petunia, is like a second mother to me and I stop by often with fresh eggs and other produce that my small plot yields.
“Lovely to see you, Fawn,” she says, emerging from her den, where she has a small writing desk. “I was just thinking about you. How have you been faring?”
There is nothing in her demeanor to suggest she has heard anything about Wolf spanking me—I am assuredly not going to volunteer the information.
“Good, thank you,” I say, smiling as I unpack the eggs I brought into a bowl on the kitchen table.
“Let me get some water for Blue,” she says, leaning down to pat him.
Blue basks up the attention, his body wiggling with the force of his enthusiastic tail wagging.
Also, he can drink in the stream nearby any time he likes, but he loves a fuss and always makes a show like he is about to expire of thirst anytime Petunia fills his outside bowl.
“Good boy,” she says, giving him another pat as he laps the water down, his tail beating from side to side.
“Have you heard any news from Luna?” I ask.
“Oh yes, dear. I’m glad you mentioned it. I had a letter a few days ago. Let me get it so you can have a read.” She bustles back into the cabin. “She had a note for you at the bottom. She’s having a fine adventure, by all accounts!”
I love hearing about Luna and her new life with her mate. She was always smitten with the big, battle-scarred orc hybrid, who, while gruff and terrifying on the outside, is sweet for Luna.
“Can you stay for tea?” she asks as she hands over the letter.
“Thank you. Yes, I would love to.”
I sit at the kitchen table as Petunia puts the water on to boil and read the letter with a smile. They now live in the capital of Imperium lands, the king’s castle, no less, where her mate is captain of the king’s guard.
A note at the bottom is addressed to me… asking me how things are going with my wolf.
Luna knows I love Jude the way she loves her mate. Only I am not like Luna who is bold and was prepared to go after what she wanted. How I miss her, her mischief, and her fearlessness.
Her personality reflects what she is: a shifter with an inner wolf.
While mine reflects what I am.
How I wish she were here to talk to. Only I already know what she would say and what she would counsel me to do.
“And who is your wolf?” Petunia asks with a smile as she pours hot water into the teapot.
I never use his proper name. He is always Wolf to me, my childhood nickname following me into adulthood. Still, there are many wolves here—it is a wolf pack, after all—and Petunia can be forgiven for not realizing who Luna refers to.
I blush as she brings a tray to the kitchen table, bearing the tea and two plates with generous slabs of honey cake.
She slides the cup of tea and plate in front of me. “Go ahead, dear.”
I cut a forkful of cake and pop it in my mouth—I groan as I eat. “This is so good.”
Petunia grins. “The least I can do, given you brought me all these fresh eggs.
“It’s no bother,” I say, aware that she asked me a question I have yet to answer. I’m thinking about how Wolf spanked me and whether it meant something to him as it did to me.
I want to believe he cares—he has always cared—but he is the pack enforcer and cares about everybody.
He knew I was aroused—he put his hand there.
But he was also disappointed with my behavior.
My brows pinch together as I grapple with the complex puzzle that is Wolf. “I don’t know if he is my wolf. I guess I want him to be.”
I take another bite of cake.
Petunia waits.
“Something happened yesterday between us. I… I think he might have noticed me.”
Petunia sips her tea before setting it back into the saucer. “I am pleased to hear that. Males, particularly those of the wolf variety, can be very stubborn.” She shrugs. “As my daughter will attest, orcs are not much better. Sometimes they need a little push.”
She indicates the letter. “We both miss Luna and her ways. She loves you well and would be so happy if you found your one.” Her eyes are sensitive as they rest on me, and she reaches across and squeezes my hand. “It is hard for humans to live among wolves.”
She makes an assumption about me, like everyone in the village does.
Sometimes, I wish I were human… it would be simpler. Luna is the only one who knows my secret and the reason I could not bear to live in a human village… the reason I must live apart from the pack. My father was a wolf shifter. My mother was not. I know they hoped I would take after my father, but it was not to be. It was an unusual pairing. She never shifted unless Papa was there, and after he passed, she never shifted once.
I lied to Wolf. I do not only go to the old castle to pick daffodils; I go there because it is a quiet place where I can shed my human flesh and pretend for a while…
“Do you ever think of going to the capital,” I say, changing the subject. “To see Luna?”
“I have considered it,” she says, and a wistfulness in her eyes tells me she has considered it often. Petunia is human and was once mated to the Oberon pack leader. After he died, she moved to Blackrock with Luna. Only now, Luna has gone, leaving her alone.
She has a son who likewise lives in Imperium lands—she has more ties there than here.
“My mate’s soul belongs to these mountains,” she says, a telling glisten in her eyes. “I don’t know if leaving would be easier or harder than staying. I have thought about it a lot, and more so of late. I still have family there beyond my son and daughter. Perhaps one day, perhaps soon. I only know that I’m not ready to leave yet.” She turns to me. “Now, my sweet Fawn, will you entrust me with your secret, your wolf? Do I know this shifter well?”
I shake my head quickly, although I believe she does.
“He is older,” I say before I can think it through.
She raises both brows. “How much older?”
“Quite a lot... He would be considered mature.”
“Did he lose his mate? Or has he never mated?”
“He has never mated,” I say.
She tries to school her features, but I see the softening around her eyes.
“What?” I ask. “Speak plainly, please. With Luna gone, I have no one to seek counsel with.” My eyes lower to the cake on the table. “I have loved him since forever, but he never noticed me—probably sees me still as a child… a stupid little Fawn.”
“Oh, love,” she says, taking my hand. When she touches me like this, it is like my mother holding my hand through the woman who was once her dear friend, which comforts me. There are not so many mature, unmated men in the pack who have never mated. If she were to think about it long enough, I’m sure she would work it out. “I do not want to crush your dreams.”
“But you’re going to,” I say, feeling sick to my core.
“No, of course not. If he does not act, there might be many reasons. He may think you’re too young or that he’s too old, which might sound the same thing, but it’s not. Males of any species can be dim-witted when it comes to matters of the heart,” she says dryly. “Sometimes, like with Luna and her mate, they need a nudge—with a sledgehammer—in the right direction.”
I chuckle. “The sledgehammer approach is more Luna’s thing than mine.” I want to feel hope yet sense she has more to say. I long for a mate like my mother, who would accept me as I am. Before my mother died, I know she intended to write to her former people to seek a place for us there. I begged her not to. This is my home. The only life I know. The thought of leaving and making a home among new people, even if they are my kind, makes me sad.
Some of my resistance was undoubtedly because of my feelings toward Wolf.
“Shifters are very different to humans,” Petunia continues. “They are gregarious. Yes, many form bonds, but others choose not to because it’s not in their nature.”
I suddenly feel young and foolish. I suspect Wolf knows I’m infatuated with him and does not want to encourage me. “You mean because he is older and not mated; that is how he prefers to be?”
“It’s possible unless you can think of another reason why he might never have taken a mate?”
“I don’t know of any reason. He seems to take his position within the pack seriously.” I’m halfway to confessing his name. “But after yesterday, I suppose I hoped.”
“Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?” she asks kindly.
“I am being foolish,” I say.
“Fawn, you are the sweetest young woman I know. It’s why Luna loved you so well. But you wear your heart on your sleeve… And I have a strong inkling as to who your wolf is.”
I blush to the roots of my hair.
She shrugs and offers a smile. “He’s a fine male. Powerful. And if it’s whom I’m thinking, he has a strong sense of purpose, being the pack enforcer for many years.”
I don’t dispute her words—I feel better for having it out.
“He spanked me,” I blurt out.
She chuckles and arches one brow. “Did he now? And was that all he did?”
“Yes,” I say, not venturing to mention he was aroused. “He found out I went to the castle ruin. I think he cares about me.”
“You know, Fawn, I think he cares about you too. I didn’t realize it might be Jude, but now I know it makes sense. I know he worries about you living outside the pack village.”
My hopes for a future where he claims me war with common sense. He touched me, spanked me—he got hard while doing it. I swallow. Wolf is a mature shifter who has enjoyed intimacy with many.
“He cares and worries about me, but he does the same for everybody. He would probably discipline any lass he found up to mischief. It is just how he is,” I say, feeling my despondency return.
“I did not see how he was with you,” she says gently. “But I really don’t believe he spanks every woman, young and pretty or otherwise, when they court his wrath. Nothing would make me happier than for you to find someone who would cherish your gentle, playful soul the way you deserve. I firmly believe that people should speak plainly about what they want and desire. Life is too short to waste guessing and missing out... Have you thought about it? About telling him how you feel?”
“What if he doesn’t want me?” I say.
“Well, if he doesn’t want you, then you’re simply finding out rather than wasting many years. But suppose he does want you…”
Her words make sense, but it is also hard to take that step. I take another bite of cake, which is delicious and offers comfort… If only Wolf would notice me, I would give up honey cake for the rest of my life. But I’m still young and question if being bold now is a bad idea. Maybe I need to make Wolf notice me more first. Allow him the opportunity to see me as a woman he might consider as a mate.
The conversation turns to lighter matters, and I enjoy the rest of my cake. When I rise to leave, she slips a thick slab of the cake into the basket for me to take home.
I leave her with a cheery wave, although my mind is already back on Wolf as I take a meandering route through the village with Blue trotting at my side. I have not gone far when Wolf’s two lieutenants approach me.
“The pack leader would like to speak to you, Fawn,” Clay says. “We will take you there.”
“Is Wolf there?” I glance around when I do not see him.
“Jude has been called away,” Glen says. His smile is tight.
I allow them to escort me to the large pack house where the pack leader resides. It’s not like I have a choice. Flint is my lord, and I live under his protection.
Blue finds a shady spot to lie down outside as I enter the pack house. I do not come here often, except when there are celebrations. The main hall is huge, with bright tapestries adorning the wooden walls, and two giant fireplaces, presently unlit, to either side of a long table. Flint’s quarters are through a high arch on the left, while on the right are lodgings where many unmated pack members live.
I have only been in his quarters once before, and that was after my mother passed. He asked me if I needed anything and if I would prefer to move into the pack home or even the human village.
I declined at the time. Although I would have loved a reason to be closer to Wolf, my reasons for distance remained. Now, a year on, I wonder how I can continue—yet what alternative do I have?
Flint is talking to a group of pack members at his table in his private room. Noticing me, he dismisses them. “See that we are not disturbed, Clay.”
The others leave, and I fidget on the other side of the table. Flint is a mature shifter with gray hair and sharp blue eyes. He has always been kind to me, but he is still a formidable pack leader, and I’m nervous in his presence.
Not only me, but my gentle inner side understands well that he is a predator, and we are prey.
His expression is guarded. I cannot read anything in it, good or bad.
“Come and sit down, Fawn,” he says. “I have been speaking to Jude, and he mentioned you to me.”
My heart thumps about in my chest as I take a seat, wondering what Wolf has said… Maybe Wolf has asked if he may mate me? “He did?”
“He mentioned the isolated nature of your home… which concerns him given you’re a young woman alone.”
“Oh,” I say, unsure where this might be going but already certain it has nothing to do with Wolf claiming me as a mate. “I’m fine there, and I have Blue?—”
“He believes it best for you to find a place within the human village,” Flint interrupts my rambling. “You would be safer with others of your kind.”
Tears sting the back of my eyes. “I do not want to go to the human village. That would not be safer at all.” I feel frantic now. “I want to stay in my home... You promised I could stay!”
His face softens, and he rises, coming to put his hand on my shoulder. “There, Fawn. I’m not rescinding my promise, merely asking you again, a year on, if you feel the cottage is best for you. You’re a young woman living in a vulnerable location. It’s a lot for you to manage—all on your own. Would you not like to be closer to your own kind, where you might meet a young man?”
“No, thank you,” I shake my head, fighting the hysterical laugh that seeks to bubble up at the mention of my own kind. “I don’t know anyone in the village.”
He raises both brows.
“I know a few people,” I hedge.
His lips twitch as he returns to his seat.
“Fine. I know all of them. Every man, woman and child. But it is not my home. Where would I even stay?” My lips quiver, and I quickly blink my tears away. “My home is here,” I say quietly, no longer able to meet his eyes. Only now, and for the first time, I’m questioning where I truly belong.
“Alright, lass,” he says. “You’re still young, and I would never seek to force you. When the time is right, you shall know what to do for the best.”
Those simple words make me feel foolish even though I know it is not his intention. He is a fair pack leader, and I can see he only worries about me. But Wolf… How could he suggest this?
Flint’s smile is light. “Go on then, lass. I won’t keep you.”
I rise, wanting nothing more than to escape and be alone with my misery.
“I will have Jude check on you in a few days,” he adds.
“Not Wolf!” My outburst is rude, but I will not take it back. “Anyone else is welcome. But not Wolf.”
Not waiting to find out how my words are received, I turn and flee, dashing the tears from my cheeks the moment I escape the hall. I run all the way home with a confused Blue at my heel and throw myself down on the bed, where I sob.
Blue paces beside my bed, and finally, whining in distress, he sneaks onto the bed and rests his big head over my belly.
I pet his silky ears, feeling desolate inside. “I don’t want to go away,” I say. “This is our home. It is where we belong.”
I think about everything Petunia said. Wolf does not want me. There are no doubts now. Tomorrow, I must find a way to pick myself up, even though I’m breaking inside.