Chapter 15 #2
“I get that.” Ares concedes.
“But what the fuck were you thinking, Ares? You’re a cop, for crying out loud. If you get caught, not even Dad can save you from the consequences.”
“I’d rather get in trouble than have to stand in that cemetery again watching you being put next to Atlas. Besides, I’m gonna go see Sheriff Pullin and hand in my resignation tomorrow morning.”
We all look at him in disbelief. “Come again?” Lev asks. “Why? I thought it was your calling. That’s what you said to Scott when you dropped out of college and he begged you to reconsider. What’s changed?”
“Everything.” Ares says with a shrug. “I joined the police force because I was pissed that the investigation into the person who hit Atlas had hit a dead end. I tried to look into it on my own, but I was out of my depth. I needed resources that would be available to me only from inside the system.”
I remember his telling me something like that before.
“But no matter how deep I dug,” he continues.
“I kept finding nothing new. The situation changed last week. Since whoever hit Atlas is back and has decided to target Zara during the races, being a cop is actually a hindrance. I need to be as close to the action as possible. Maybe your flashbacks were a sign that I should be on that racetrack and catch the person who killed our brother and is trying to hurt the woman we love.”
There’s a beat of silence as Chance considers his brother’s words. “But don’t you see? You haven’t been on a motorcycle since that day. What if—” his voice breaks, his perfectly defined jaw working as he struggles not to cry.
Ares closes the distance between them and pulls Chance into a tight hug.
“I promise I’m gonna be careful. I’m gonna be ok and I’ll get some justice for our brother.” His voice is full of as much emotion as Chance’s was a second ago. “After all, it’s like riding a bike, right?” he attempts to chuckle.
“You’re such an idiot.” Chance’s laugh is mixed with tears. “But I mean it. If something happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I’m already the reason why Atlas died.”
We all look at him with disconcerted expressions on our faces.
Chance had said it before, when he mistook Ares for Atlas.
“Chance,” Ares’s voice is soft. “That’s absolute bullshit. Atlas was always supposed to race that day.”
“But the day before, he got in too late from Florida, remember? He had gone to that cheerleading competition to support Heather and her team. If I hadn’t filled in for him and qualified, he would have had to sit that race out.”
Lev intervenes. “Chance, we would have asked one of the guys that were training with us to fill in. Atlas asked you because you were better than any of the beginners the team was developing. He would have been in that race with or without your help.”
“He wouldn’t have had the pole position next to Zara’s though. He would still be here. I know everyone blames me. I can see it in Dad’s eyes every time he looks at me.”
Ares shakes his head. “That’s nonsense. Dad loves you more than life itself, and he would never wish you were dead instead of Atlas.
First off, you’re his favorite, the only one who’s going to carry on his legacy on the ice.
And besides, he loves us all. Even when he doesn’t agree with the choices we make.
He could never wish anything bad to any of us. ”
“Do you really think that Dad doesn’t blame me?” Chance sounds hopeful and terrified at the same time.
“I’m positive,” Ares reassures him.
As they hug, guilt hits me like a freight train.
“That bike apparently wanted to hit me. I’ve been feeling responsible for what happened ever since that day.
Even if I have no idea who would want to hurt me and why.
” I bite my bottom lip hard enough to taste blood.
I can’t cry right now. I don’t want them to feel like they have to comfort me. If they blame me too, I need to know.
Ares and Chance part, looking at me as if I had sprouted a second head.
“Please, princess,” Ares is by my side before I can exhale the shuddering breath I’ve been holding since the car ride back to the Club. “Don’t even think what happened is your fault, not even for a second.”
Chance backs him. “You have done nothing wrong.”
I realize that I’m shaking only when Lev comes to wrap his arms around me. “They’re right. Don’t even think about blaming yourself for someone else’s actions.”
“I already felt bad two years ago when Atlas got hit because I dodged that other bike. But now that they’re back, it’s obvious they want to hurt me. I should have been dead instead of your brother.”
Fear mixes with the guilt I’ve been carrying around all this time. I’m terrified that one day, they’ll decide that what happened really is my fault and they’ll leave me.
Ares comes close, taking me into his arms when Lev releases me.
“No one should have died that day, princess. All this time, I’ve been racking my brain with one crazy theory after another.
I thought that finding JJ Smith was the key to understanding what happened to Atlas.
But knowing what we know now, there’s only one possibility.
We’ve talked about it before when you said that you couldn’t think of anyone who would want to hurt you aside from your ex. ”
Chance agrees. “I think Ares is right. It’s no coincidence that this mysterious bike appeared the day after you broke things off with him.”
“He couldn’t get you to do what he wanted,” Ares continues. “And when you ditched him for us, he decided to make you pay. It’s the only thing that makes sense. And hiring someone else to do his dirty work is typical of cowards like Fox.”
I shake my head. “But that bike went for my dad’s old Aprilia. Cal didn’t know I was JJ Smith, so that doesn’t make sense.”
“The real question is, didn’t he know, really?
” Ares muses. “You were staying with him in his trailer. Remember, you said that when we found him trying to force himself on you, you had just changed out of your racing suit after the qualifier. He could have seen you. Or he could have seen what was inside your bag even before. I think it’s no coincidence that the second Fox reappeared on the scene, that bike came back. ”
Maybe they’re right. But there are still some things I’m having trouble figuring out. “Maybe. But technically, this time it wasn’t the same bike that tried to hit me in Bridgeport.”
“Yeah, but this time Fox didn’t have his whole team behind him. He had just his old Beamer and a few older bikes. At least until Morelli got involved with his money. That old dirt bike might be all he had on hand to use this time.” Chance suggests.
“Yeah, it’s the only thing that makes sense.” I sigh. “But how do we prove it?”
Lev has been listening to our theories this entire time. “I don’t know. Ever since I chased the dirt bike earlier, something has been bothering me. It’s as if I’m missing something really obvious and important, but I can’t figure out what it is.”
“Whatever it is, we won’t figure it out tonight.” Ares gives him a brotherly slap on the shoulder. “Lev, what’s wrong?” he asks when Lev flinches at his touch.
“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m just tired.” He composes himself quickly, but we’ve all seen the pain that contorted his face for a split second. It’s hard to miss the strain in his voice even though he’s doing his best to sound normal.
Chance is by his best friend’s side in the blink of an eye. “That didn’t sound like nothing.”
“I told you I’m fine, Mom.” Lev tries to joke, but it falls flat.
“You should ice that shoulder.” I interject. “You might have sprained or pulled something when you fell in the grass while chasing the dirt bike.”
Lev sighs. “I’ll be ok. Seriously.”
“Maybe.” Chance’s face is a mask of concern. “Zara is right that you should ice it. But if in the morning you’re still in pain, you need to tell Coach.”
“I’d rather cut my own balls off now than have Coach Harrison do that. He’s gonna kill me.”
Chance nods. “He’s not gonna be happy. But he doesn’t know how you got hurt. You were slammed against the boards a few times during yesterday’s game. You can tell him that you felt fine straight after the game, but it got worse overnight.”
“I guess.” Lev sounds resigned. “Maybe he won’t kill me.”
“Do you need me to come and speak to your coach?” Ares offers with a playful smile on his face.
Lev rolls his eyes. “No, thanks. You and Chance can stop mothering me now. I can handle it. I’ve been signing my own permission slips and shit since freshman year of high school. My parents were too busy to care.”
Ares’s expression returns serious. “Your parents care in their own way. Isn’t it crazy that you wish your parents had been more involved in your life when you were younger and we wished Dad wasn’t such a helicopter parent?
Regardless of our parents, Lev, we’re each other’s family.
We take care of each other. So go to bed, and we’ll find you an ice pack. ”
Lev doesn’t need much convincing; he looks like he’s in real pain. “Ok. See you in a bit.”
“What are the sleeping arrangements tonight?” Ares asks once Lev disappears into one of the suit’s two bedrooms. “Am I bunking with Lev, sleeping alone, or taking the couch? I don’t mind staying with Lev if you want to be with Chance.” He says to me.
I don’t have an answer to his question. I’m worried about Chance after what happened tonight, but Lev is injured. “Hm, maybe Chance and I could stay in Lev’s room?”
To my surprise, Chance doesn’t take me up on that offer. “That would be fine on any other night, baby. But if his shoulder is hurting, sharing a bed with two more people might not be the best idea. He might need a little more space to find a comfortable sleeping position.”
“Then maybe Ares and I can bring him the ice pack and I can make sure he’s ok, and then come stay with you?” I don’t want to leave him alone, but I also want to make sure Lev knows that I love him and care about him.
Chance must see my conflicted feelings written all over my face.
“Go to him, baby. Stay with him tonight; he needs you.” He whispers, pulling me into his arms.
“What about you? You really scared me out there tonight, babe.”
His tone is soft but certain. “I’m going to be fine.
I’ll bunk with Ares like in the old days.
Whenever I had a bad dream as a kid, Ares and Atlas let me stay with them.
They used to share a room back then and had bunk beds, which to me was the coolest thing ever.
Atlas was usually the one who said I could stay in their room, but I ended up sleeping in Ares’s bed every time because Atlas flipped around in bed like a fish out of water and always kicked me more often than not.
Lev never had anyone unless he was sleeping over at our house. ”
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“I know you love me, baby. I can feel it every day, and I can see it in your eyes.” He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.
“When Lev and I told you that we were happy with you not choosing between us, we meant it. I have Ares keeping me safe, so go to Lev and make sure he keeps that ice pack on.”