Chapter 27
QUINN
I felt like I was waking up from the worst hangover I’d ever had. Even though I’d only shed a couple tears last night, and only because of the grief that came from losing someone under my care, my body felt like it’d been put through a blender, and I was still tangled up in knots.
I didn’t know where to go from here. Had no idea what the next steps would—or should—be. No idea what this meant for my job. For my dream.
Or for my marriage.
Last night, I’d lain with Ford’s heartbeat under my cheek, his soft, soothing voice lulling me into sleep.
The last thing I remembered was him mentioning that awful cake he’d made in home ec our junior year.
I’d been the guinea pig who’d had to suffer through that monstrosity because through some cruel twist of fate, we’d always been partnered together in our classes.
It had been one of the reasons I’d hated him so much because it had given me a front-row seat to him slacking off and still somehow earning straight A’s, while I busted my ass for the same.
We’d definitely come a long way from high school rivals to what we were now. I’d been mad at him for so long, so certain that if things had only gone differently, I would’ve been happier. My parents would’ve been happier. They would’ve actually been proud of me…accepted me.
But I knew now there was no way that was ever going to happen. My parents would never be satisfied with anything I did, and I was done trying to appease them. Had stopped answering their calls. I hadn’t yet gotten up the nerve to block their numbers, but at least I was taking baby steps.
As for me… Well, I might not have gone to Harvard Med School like I’d wanted, but this life I had wasn’t so bad.
I reached out, brushing my fingertips over the arch of Ford’s brows, down the straight slope of his nose, and around his perfect, full lips, parted in sleep.
Talk about a twist of fate… Somehow, this man was mine.
I had him. Now I just needed to figure out a way to keep him. Needed to figure out if he even wanted that.
I was more grateful than I could say that he’d spent last night filling my head with something other than the anxious thoughts that had consumed me since leaving the clinic.
He’d looked after me. Taken care of me. And after a lifetime of having to protect myself from those who were supposed to do just that and did the opposite, this had become a welcome reprieve.
But today was a new day. And for the first time in my life, I didn’t know what the hell to do. Had no idea where to go from here because none of this was part of my Plans A through Z.
What I did know was that I had to get up.
I had to get out of bed and do…something.
I’d been in enough therapy and had enough experience to understand my triggers, and high stress…
high emotions tended to send me down a path of negative self-talk.
So that meant I had to pretend like this was just another day or I’d spiral into what-ifs and worst-case scenarios, and neither was a good place for me to be.
There were appointments on the schedule…patients to be seen. And now that Starlight Cove was down to one doctor, that meant everything landed on my shoulders. Even if the clinic wasn’t mine.
With one last look at my husband, I slid out from under his heavy arm and made my way into the bathroom to get ready.
Once I was showered and dressed, I headed back into the bedroom, finding Ford still sleeping soundly.
The sheet was pooled around his waist, revealing his bare back and teasing the upper curve of his ass. A mouthwatering sight, without a doubt.
Half of me wanted to slide right back under the covers with him. Wanted to forget yesterday. Forget today or tomorrow or next week. Forget that our expiration date was a giant red X looming on the calendar. Forget everything but what I felt when we were together.
What I’d begun to hope maybe he felt, too.
But the other half of me—the half that was in charge…the half that always did the right thing—knew I couldn’t. People needed me today, and I was the only one who could help.
Ford had been up just as late as I had—later, even—so I didn’t want to wake him.
I’d let him sleep, and we could talk tonight.
Figure things out. Maybe…maybe he felt the same as I did?
Maybe we could actually turn this fake marriage into something real.
Maybe I could somehow make him love me as much as I loved him.
I glanced around the kitchen, looking for a blank sheet of paper or an envelope to jot a note for him on, letting him know where I went.
Peeking out from under Ford’s keys was a white napkin.
Not ideal, but it would do. I pulled it out and grabbed a pen, but before I could scrawl my note, writing on the other side caught my eye.
I flipped the napkin over, and my breath caught when the words registered in my brain.
It was our contract, with our expiration date circled.
That red X on the calendar that I hadn’t wanted to think about—that I’d thought…
hoped…maybe he’d forgotten about—stared back at me.
I hadn’t thought about this stupid napkin in weeks, but it was clear that wasn’t the same for Ford.
Had he had it with him last night with the intent of…
what? Showing me? Reminding me our time was up and he had better things to get to?
That he’d done what he could to help me, but he was finished with the marriage? That he was finished with me ?
My chest ached at the thought. That while I’d been falling in love with him despite my best efforts not to, he might’ve been counting down the days till the end.
Just biding his time until he could get on with this life and go back to how things were before we’d said our vows. Before he’d called me his wife.
I braced myself on the counter and hung my head between my shoulders, closing my eyes and taking several long, deep breaths.
That was my negative self-talk speaking.
I had no proof that Ford thought that way.
The reason this napkin was on the counter could be something totally innocuous. Maybe it was—
His phone pinged with a text, and my eyes popped open, automatically going to the message on the screen. I blinked, the words not quite registering at first, but when they finally did, my heart sank.
The napkin might not have meant much on its own. It could’ve been there for any number of reasons. I could’ve been blowing it completely out of proportion.
But this… This was harder to excuse.
Jenny:
It’s been too long. I’m in town and missing you. Tell me when the coast is clear and we can hook up.
I stood frozen, swallowing repeatedly as I tried to force down the lump that had lodged itself in my throat. I knew I shouldn’t be, but I was still shocked that he’d move on so quickly. That he was ready to toss away what I thought had been special.
I’d thought what we had was different…for both of us. And I felt like an idiot for even entertaining the thought.
As of the moment Ford had called Don’s death last night, the contract became irrelevant. There was no longer a need for Ford and me to be married. And he was, apparently, ready to get out of it as soon as possible so he could get back to business as usual.
My stomach churned, and the negative voices in my head that my parents had fostered my entire life and the ones I’d worked for years to overcome weren’t whispering anymore. They were screaming.
What did you expect?
This was all just a game .
None of it was real . Certainly not the way he made you feel loved .
He’s seen all of you, your good and bad, and he didn’t choose you.
Of course he didn’t choose you.
He can’t wait till you’re gone so he can move on with his life.
He’s just biding his time until he can be rid —
“Kitten?”
I jumped, dropping the napkin on the counter and spinning to face him. God, he was gorgeous. Standing there in those damn gray sweatpants with rumpled hair and pillow creases on his face, his cheeks the dark pink they always were when he first woke up.
An ache bloomed in my chest over the thought of losing this man when I’d only just gotten him. When I’d only just finally opened my eyes to who he was instead of who I thought he was. When I’d only just gotten a glimpse of what it felt like to be his…even if it wasn’t real.
“Why’re you dressed?” he asked, his voice low and rough as he scratched at the scruff on his jaw. He walked to me and gathered me in his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
I stayed stiff in his embrace, not allowing myself to sink into his warm body, even if I desperately wanted to.
I wanted to forget what I’d seen. Pretend I didn’t know he was planning to hook up with a random girl.
That he wasn’t counting down the days until he was free of me.
But that would only make this worse in the long run.
It was best to pretend this was what we both wanted.
That I was just as ready to be rid of him as he was of me.
When he relaxed his hold on me, I stepped back, averting my gaze. I cleared my throat, hoping my voice came out even. “I’m heading into work.”
“ What ?”
“I’m going to the clinic.”
He stared at me, brows pinched as if he couldn’t understand what I was saying. “Don’t you think you should take some time after what happened? I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go back this soon. It’s barely been twelve hours.”
I blew out a frustrated breath, sidestepping him as I gathered my things. Irritated that after everything, he had the gall to pretend like he actually cared.
I needed to get out of there. The past twenty-four hours had been too much, and I was at my breaking point. But I refused to cry in front of him. Not when the inevitable tears were his doing.
“It doesn’t really matter if you don’t think it’s a good idea. Not all of us can take off whenever we want to, Ford. I’m the only one here to do this. If I don’t go in, sick patients aren’t going to be seen. People need to be taken care of.”
“ You need to be taken care of,” he said, a hard edge seeping into his voice. “That’s what I’m trying to do here.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why? Because I’m your husband, and that’s what husbands do.”
I forced out a laugh. “I think we can probably cut the act now. Seems pretty pointless, doesn’t it?
Chelsea’s wedding is over, and there’s no one left to fool at the clinic.
No more fake marriage needed. Bonus was that you got out of it a little early, so you can start bed-hopping again whenever you want. ”
He was quiet for long moments, and I finally lifted my gaze to his. He stared at me, eyes hard and jaw bunching, his entire body stiff. “Thanks for thinking the best of me,” he said flatly.
Oh, he had a lot of balls to say that while he had a booty call invitation on his phone from Jan or Judy or whatever the hell her name was.
“It doesn’t matter what I think,” I said. “Your track record speaks for itself.”
“Yeah? What does it say?”
I stared at him, at the eyes I’d grown to love, and felt that hole in my heart expand. The pain seeping into every inch of my body, weighing me down.
I’d never really thought about how this would end. Never concerned myself with it. But I knew, without a doubt, this was it.
We were done.
And there’d be no going back.
“You and I both know you’re not forever,” I said, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “ We’re not forever.”
Ford’s eyes shuttered, his body going rigid, and I wanted to take the words back as soon as they left my lips. Not because they weren’t true—that was exactly what we’d said this entire time…that we were only temporary—but because I so desperately wished they weren’t.
“And here I thought the ring on your finger said differently.” His voice was hard, but there was no denying the thread of hurt woven into his words.
But I’d already been fooled once by him. Tricked into actually believing this had been real. I’d be damned if I’d let it happen again.
I glanced over at his now-darkened phone, recalling what the text had said, and a fresh wave of pain rushed over me, reminding me exactly what this wasn’t.
“We both know the ring didn’t mean anything.
You’re the one who put an expiration date on this and said we should get our first divorces out of the way.
It’s obvious that’s what you’ve been waiting for, so let’s just get on with it.
Consider this my notice. Go ahead and tell your friend you’re free tonight. ”