38. Trey
Trey
I’d spent the entire ride back to Strathmore holding Ivy’s hand. An ambulance zoomed past us with its lights off, Rhyker stowed carefully inside. Dominic had moved him to Strathmore General so that he could keep a closer eye on him while he received medical attention. With Ivy nestled against me, it was the first time that I could breathe a sigh of relief in weeks.
Ever since New Year’s, things had been difficult. Losing one of my best friends and then Ivy serving herself up like a sacrificial lamb had been too much to deal with. It had felt like my skin was too tight, and every single thing was too much. Even if Niko hadn’t said it, things had been difficult for him, too. The nightmares had said as much.
And maybe with Ivy home, they would lessen again. They would never completely disappear. We all wore our scars on our souls. Over time, they would fade, but they would never vanish.
I nipped at the lobe of Ivy’s ear, my mouth close so I could whisper only to her. “I wonder what Cam would have done for the stunt you pulled. Don’t think I’m not happy to see you, new girl, because I am. Maybe if he were still here to hate fuck you, you would have thought twice before pulling a Houdini on us.”
Goosebumps formed on her skin, and she turned her eyes to me. “You’re right. Maybe I wouldn’t have. What are you going to do? Punish me?”
I liked the fact that, despite everything, she wasn’t broken. She might have thought she was, but the fire in her tone told me otherwise. Somewhere deep inside, there was still a fighter who was willing to argue with me. My fingertips traced along the inside of her arm. “Maybe I will. Will you fight me on it, or will you take the punishment you’ve earned?”
The corner of her lips tilted up. “I guess you’ll have to see.”
As soon as we returned to the apartment, I decided to test my luck. Sometimes, people needed someone to be soft with them. Treat them sweetly and hold them against their chest, promising they’ll love them no matter their sin. Other times, people just needed to feel. They needed to be reminded that they were still alive, and that life was still worth living despite the shit they’d lived through.
My bet was that Ivy needed to feel alive. She needed adrenaline and endorphins. She’d be foolish to think that after we’d murdered half of the Order to protect her, we would ever forsake her. Everyone else from her past had already done that. Now with the dust settled, while we still wore grief on our sleeves, I wanted her to live fearlessly. I wanted her to realize that life was too short to continue to live in the shadow of our trauma, which was easier said than done.
Katya, Maya, and Sergei were all still at school and would be occupied by Hunter afterward. Rhyker was getting settled into a private room at the hospital under an alias only a few people knew. Niko and Caleb were briefing Dominic on how everything had gone. It was my chance to show her how I felt about everything.
As soon as we were in the door, I pushed her against the wall inside the apartment. Her legs wrapped around me as I kissed along the column of her neck, sucking the skin into my mouth, marking her. “Never again, Ivy. I’m tempted not to let you out of my sight. The note you left was bullshit,” I murmured to her.
Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and her cheeks were flushed as I caged her in, kissing along the swell of her breasts. Her skirt was hiked around her waist as I rolled my hips against her. She captured her bottom lip between her teeth. “Say it. Tell me you’ll never do something like that again.”
She panted when I squeezed her breast through her clothes, her nipple hardening beneath my palm. “Never again,” she whispered.
That was good enough for me. I fished the knife that always lay in my pocket out and pressed it against the thin straps of her undergarments. They fell away, and she sighed at me, rolling her eyes. I smirked at her, knowing what she was thinking. She’d told me too many times before that she was tired of replacing her clothes. I’d buy her a hundred new pairs of panties just to cut them off, to see the look on her face when I did.
I pushed the pants I was wearing down my thighs as she clung to me. My cock was already hard from seeing the blush that spread across her skin and hearing the tiny whimpers when I rutted against her. My fingers trailed along her delicate skin as I pushed inside her a fraction, just enough to tease her. “Even if you were to run away from me, it wouldn’t matter. I’d find you in this lifetime and the next. Your skin wears my marks, something you seem to have forgotten.” I thrust inside more, not enough to relieve the ache that both of us felt. “I’d search heaven and hell for you, Ivy. When you die, I’ll follow. I’d fight Death himself to be with you.”
The knife in my hand clattered to the ground as I gripped both of her hips before pulling out almost completely and driving back in. Her head fell back, and she whimpered. “There’s no one else for me. Just you. You drive me crazy. I want to fight you and fuck you every day of my life. Caleb thinks you’re a princess to be handled carefully, so fragile you could break at any moment, but I know you’re more than that.”
I drove inside her again, and she moaned. I wasn’t sure if it was from my actions or if it was because of the words that spilled from my mouth. It didn’t matter as I pounded into her. All that did was mark her as mine. Showing her how I felt. Her fingers tangled, and she pulled, trying to anchor herself in the moment. I reached between us, brushing against her clit. She bit down on her lip harder, and a tear spilled from her eye as she clenched around me tightly. I thrust inside of her again, not letting her go as she came.
If she needed to cry, I’d be there for her. I’d give her a pillow to muffle the sound if she needed to scream. Whatever she needed, I’d be there. I pulled out the syringe I had hidden and placed it against the side of her neck, depositing the tracker beneath her skin.
I could be called many things, but I wasn’t a liar. After the ordeals we’d faced, a tracker was my insurance policy. Everything that I’d said about following her to the ends of the earth was true. And Niko and Caleb felt the same, even if they hadn’t said it.
I came deep inside of her, my face pressed against her shoulder. Rather than placing her on her feet, I took her to the bathroom that we shared. I set her on the counter before stopping up the tub and running the water, pouring bubble bath into it. Once it was full, I placed her inside it and leaned against the counter to watch her.
Even when her eyes drifted shut and her breathing even out, all I could feel was a sense of relief. We’d all lost enough, and the last thing I could live with was losing her, too. I let her doze as I committed the look of peace on her face to memory.
My head pounded as I stared at the spreadsheet before me. Ivy was fast asleep in bed while Maya and Katya studied at the table near me. Caleb stood by the stove, stirring something while Niko chopped vegetables for a salad.
Although we had killed people earlier in the day, we were the picture of domestic bliss. It was almost laughable.
I reached for my energy drink and frowned that it was empty. I’d been cutting back to only two a day. It was supposed to help with sleep, but all I felt was torture, especially when I looked at the names of the women from the Gilded Lily. What the fuck was I supposed to do?
Caleb closing the Gilded Lily was the best thing he could have done, not only for the women trapped there, but also for Ivy. She’d been held there by Wells, and there was zero doubt in my mind that Caleb’s grandfather was also involved. What hadn’t he been involved in?
His closing it would help Ivy heal, even if it were just a fraction.
Niko slid a cup of coffee to me and looked at me sympathetically. I scowled at it but took a sip, wondering if I should buy more energy drinks or even a soda.
The good news was that we’d finally figured out why Rayne had so many safe houses across Strathmore. She’d lived through something like this before and had reassured us that every woman would have a place to stay. There was no rush.
Inside, though, it felt urgent. There were so many women that needed to be taken care of. None of them had money, and most didn’t have families. Some didn’t speak English. The Order had preyed upon people who had nothing and assumed they wouldn’t be missed.
One of the remaining Order members had contributed a large cash sum to help the survivors, but it wasn’t enough. They needed jobs, resumes, transportation. Some needed new identities. All of them needed extensive therapy, which was something else Ivy needed. Hell, we all did. It was a nightmare.
I rubbed the achy spot between my eyes and let out a sigh. Niko patted my shoulder, his hand staying there for just a moment. “It’s all going to get better. Just give it some time.”