43. Caleb
Caleb
I sat on the couch, glancing at my watch, wondering when Ivy would walk through the door. She’d left to go to the hospital and see Rhyker and Frankie early. I had texted Joey, Rayne’s bodyguard, who had assured me she was fine and that I’d have to ask her myself what she had been doing. Trey’s tracker had to be defective. It showed that she was at the Gilded Lily, but that was impossible.
No one was there.
But when she walked through the door, smelling like smoke and with wild eyes, all the pieces clicked into place. Her hair was tousled from the wind, and her cheeks were pink, perhaps from the cold. She looked different. She looked alive.
Trey and Niko had gone to sleep hours before when I assured them I would stay up to wait for her. As long as she was safe, that was all that mattered. At that moment, I was grateful for the fact that it was just the two of us.
Once upon a time, I had told her I wanted to lay her on a mattress and take my time with her. I had said that I wanted to worship every inch of her. That hadn’t happened between us. It was always stolen moments or shared experiences.
It was finally my turn, and I was happy that she was riding a high from what had happened earlier in the day. I didn’t ask questions as I rose from my seat and scooped her into my arms. She let out a contented sigh as I brushed my lips against hers. Every time I kissed her, it was like coming home. My grandfather once said I’d regret choosing her over him, but that would never happen. She was my forever, as long as she wanted me.
I didn’t deserve her. No one did. Ivy had somehow managed to live through hell and survive. None of us had protected her the way we should have. None of us had stopped Cam from pushing her past her limits. All of us had been foolish.
That didn’t matter, though. Nothing did as I kissed her, our tongues tangling as I walked to my room with her cradled against me. I’d spend eternity trying to make up for the sins of my past, all to be worthy to call her mine. I laid her on top of the mattress, her hair splayed around her as I crawled over her body. Her hands cupped my cheeks as she looked at me, her eyes sparkling up at me.
My mouth descended on hers again, taking my time to taste her. She was addictive, and her lips were soft. It was perfect. Slowly, I trailed kisses along her jaw and neck, relishing every sound she made as her fingers traced along my skin.
There was another reason I wanted her to myself. I had promised her that one day I would let her see my skin, the marks that reminded me of my past. It’s not that I was ashamed of them, but they were a part of me I didn’t readily share. I kept my shirt on around everyone, never allowing that part of me to see the light. Even the romantic trysts of my past didn’t know about the scars.
It was something I wanted to share with her. My pain would never be the same as hers, but it was something that connected us.
She also hadn’t seen the tattoo that I had gotten to cover up the ouroboros from the Order. Even if I was supposedly the leader, it was something I didn’t want to see in the mirror. I was more than content to allow Rosalyn to take my place indefinitely.
I broke contact with her skin only long enough to pull her shirt over her head and unlatch her bra. She was beautiful, her skin decorated with freckles and scars. My fingertips traced over Trey’s initial before I latched onto her nipple. My tongue teased it into a rigid peak as she arched into me, her hands pulling at my hair. I released her nipple before moving to the other, wanting to give it equal attention. My palm cupped her free breast, squeezing it gently.
Her legs hooked onto my hips, pulling me closer as she ground against me. I nipped at her nipple before soothing it with my tongue. Her skin felt like velvet beneath my palms as I traced her curves. I pressed kisses along her ribs and then one against the slight rounding of her stomach. “Please,” she whispered into the dark.
I pulled her pants down her thighs before settling on my knees between her thighs. “Patience, sweet princess. I’ve got you.”
I didn’t want to rush the moment we were sharing. Soon enough, the bubble that held the two of us would burst, and reality would force us back into the present. I wanted to enjoy her and bask in her presence. I wanted to show her how I felt. You could only say I love you so many ways, and there was no way to know if she realized I meant it.
I lowered my body, draping one of her legs over my shoulder as I kissed along the inside of her thighs. Her hips rocked against me, asking me for something, and I obliged. My tongue ran along her lower lips before parting her. She was wet and tasted of divinity I had found nowhere else. All of us were doomed to hell for our sins, but here we had found a piece of heaven.
I lapped at her, taking in the way her breathing changed. Her muscles twitched as I sucked her clit into my mouth, and her grip on my hair tightened. The pain drove me on. I was starved for the attention she gave me and wanted to see her fall apart. I wanted to watch as all her problems vanished, and all she could focus on was the pleasure I brought her.
“More,” Ivy whimpered as she rode my tongue, trying to control the rhythm. One hand pressed against her hip, holding her in place while my free hand drifted between her silky thighs. Two fingers slid inside, curled upward. She gasped as she writhed against the sheets. Slowly, I tortured her, bringing her close to the edge before backing away. I kept her on the edge until she groaned in frustration. Only then did I give her what she needed. She came around my fingers, her muscles fluttering, and her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the noise she wanted to make.
“Exquisite,” I breathed across her skin before licking her center one last time. I straightened my body and shrugged off my shirt, exposing my torso to her. I knew what she could see even in the dim lighting. The high of her orgasm fell away as she sat up. Her fingers traced the patterns of my skin before focusing on the mermaid with red hair.
She touched it, her eyes growing wide. “When did you…”
“A few weeks ago. I wanted something that reminded me of you.” I left off the part about wanting to remove all traces of the Order from my flesh. Those memories would still haunt me nightly. I didn’t need a brand to remind me of my sacrifices.
She chewed her bottom lip as she kneeled, looking at the ribbons of pink and white skin that were shiny, satin to the touch. “They’re everywhere.” Her voice sounded sad, and I couldn’t bear it.
I grasped her chin and made her look at me. “They’ll never touch either of us again. One day, I’ll have enough art on my body to cover all the scars, and one day, all of this will seem like a distant memory. It will be like none of it ever happened.” I let my hands drift to her stomach, where she carried our baby. It didn’t matter who had fathered it. We would raise it together. “He’ll never know our struggles or how we clawed our way through the darkness.”
My lips met hers, and she pushed me onto my back. It was unexpected, but I wouldn’t turn her down. She took control as she unzipped my pants, shoving them away and straddling me. She positioned herself and slid onto my cock, holding eye contact the entire time.
I held onto her hips as she rode me. The wild look in her eyes didn’t change as she took what she wanted. My grip tightened, and my fingers branded her as mine. When I finally spilled inside of her, I memorized the moment and committed it to memory. The way her hair cascaded around her shoulders. The color of her skin, how prettily she blushed, and it spread down her neck. The way her lips parted as she watched me, her fingers still trailing along the marks that marred my skin.
I reached over to the nightstand and pulled the velvet box from the top. Inside was the wedding band we had found in the parking lot. I had never taken mine off. Carefully, I pushed the ring onto her left hand and kissed her knuckles. “Stay with me tonight, Mrs. Vance.”
Typically, she wandered off to sleep beside Niko, her presence somehow muting his nightmares. Sometimes, I was jealous that they needed each other more than she would ever need me. They were bonded through trauma and the type of pain I couldn’t imagine.
She simply nodded at me as she nestled into my chest, like it was where she had always belonged. She was the piece of me I had never known was missing, and now I didn’t want to let her go. Ever.