Chapter 11 #2
“What the fuck?” I mumble, shifting on the couch, trying to keep my cock from punching a hole in my goddamn pants.
Caitlin bursts out laughing, and the sound is so surprising, so perfectly beautiful, I forget about my cock entirely.
All I can focus on is the way she grins and the delight in her eyes and the unexpected, simple joy that comes from being the one to make her happy.
I have the wild thought that I could live on this feeling and nothing more and be perfectly content for the rest of my days.
“Men,” she says, lips still tipped up in a grin. “So simple. So ridiculously easy to figure out.”
I point at her. “Hey there, Princess, I’ve got depths.”
She snorts. “I licked my lip and mentioned punishment and your brain melted down like a nuclear reactor. That doesn’t scream depths to me, Pretty Boy. That screams man who thinks with his dick. You know, something different for a change.”
Looking her right in the eyes, I glide my thumb over her palm and relish in the heat that swims in her gaze.
“I am very, very good with my dick. And with the way we practically leveled the building with that kiss in your office? I think we would be amazing together. Tie me up. Order me around. Punish me, Catie. I’ll fucking love it. I’d love anything you do to me.”
Her cheeks heat, and watching a turned-on Caitlin Parker is a heady fucking thing. “That kiss was nothing. A moment of pure insanity.”
I grin at her, reaching over and running a finger down her arm, watching the goosebumps that spread in its wake. “A moment of pure insanity I’ve thought about approximately every five minutes since it happened, counting down the minutes until it happens again.”
“It’s not going to happen again,” she shoots back.
Leaning towards her, I watch as her eyes flash, feeling her sharp inhale.
“Keep telling yourself that,” I practically whisper, leaning in a little closer, basking in a glow of victory when she doesn’t move an inch.
Our faces are close, breaths mingling, and it would take only the smallest movement to press my lips to hers.
But I don’t. Because I get the sense that’s what she expects, and I like seeing this strong, brilliant woman a little off her game.
So just when it looks like I’m about to take her mouth, I lean to the side and kiss her cheek instead, one hand on the side of her neck and my mouth close to her ear.
“It’s definitely going to happen again, and once it does, Catie?
You’ll never want me to stop. We’re going to be amazing together. ”
Caitlin’s breath gusts out of her lungs and she plants a hand on my chest, shoving me back.
When my eyes meet hers again, the mixture of heat, humor, and irritation I see there makes me want to stand up and cheer.
“What I want you to do is stop fucking around and tell me why you own a drive-in movie theater.”
I blow out a breath to cool the arousal swimming in my blood and reach for my root beer, taking a long sip to prepare to spill more truths. “Probably for the same reason I spend my days off at the children’s hospital.”
Caitlin takes her own drink from the coffee table, watching me over the rim of the glass. “I was wondering if today was a one-time thing.”
I shake my head. “It’s not. I’ve been going whenever I can for years. I take sourdough and Renegades stuff and meet the kids and chat with the parents. I like…” I pause, shrugging, wildly uncomfortable suddenly.
“You can tell me,” she says, sliding her fingers back into mine. “You can tell me anything.”
“It’s stupid,” I mumble.
“I’m so sure it’s not.”
My eyes dart around the room, looking anywhere but at her.
“At first, I needed something to do with all the bread I was baking once I graduated from college and no longer lived with six other football players, so I figured, why not take it there, right? Take something to the nurses and parents and give the kids the thrill of meeting an athlete. But I realized pretty quickly I like seeing the families,” I say quickly, my words piling on top of each other in a race to leave my mouth.
Taking a deep breath, I order myself to slow down.
“I mean, I love meeting the kids because they’re cute and funny and it’s fun to make them smile.
But I like seeing the families. Parents who love their kids.
Families that laugh together, take care of each other even when they’re facing the worst moments of their lives.
I didn’t…” I shake my head. “I didn’t grow up that way.
Not after my mom died. I guess I’ve always liked the reminder that some kids do.
It’s…comforting, I guess? It probably sounds ridiculous to you because you’re one of the kids who grew up exactly like that. ”
She nods. “I did, but nothing about what you said sounds ridiculous.” Now it’s Caitlin’s turn to look away from me, as if she’s trying to gather her thoughts.
“My family is so close it’s actually unbelievable.
There are a million of us and we love hard and way, way out loud, and all I would have to do is say the word and there would be no fewer than ten people lined up to help me with whatever I need.
And I’ve still never…” She pauses, and I can see her arguing with herself, trying to decide if she wants to say whatever comes next.
When she opens her mouth to continue, it feels like she’s giving me the most precious gift.
“There are parts of me I’ve never given them.
Like what happened today at the hospital.
” She sighs, shaking her head, and I have to fight the disappointment that she doesn’t open herself up even more.
Order myself to be happy with what she’s giving me, because I suspect it’s more than she’s ever given anyone else before.
“This isn’t about me, but I guess the point is I know what it’s like to feel lonely.
Like maybe there’s nowhere you really belong. ”
“The drive-in is a good memory,” I blurt out, Caitlin’s words lowering my defenses down to the ground.
Because aside from Cam, there’s never really been anywhere I belonged before, but I think maybe I could belong with her.
Maybe, one day, we could learn how to belong with each other.
“From my childhood,” I explain at Caitlin’s questioning gaze.
“My mom used to take me to a drive-in during the summer, before she died. And to the park. Even in the winter, we would put on boots and hats and go to the park in the snow. It was our place.” I look at Caitlin, begging her to understand.
To connect the dots because my insides feel shredded with the effort of revealing even this much.
“The businesses,” she says slowly. “You’re collecting memories. The parts of your childhood that were good. Happy. The ones you don’t ever want to forget.”
I look down at our joined hands, but Caitlin puts her hand on my cheek, tilting my face up to look at her. “It’s embarrassing,” I mumble.
Caitlin smiles a little, and I lean into her touch, taking comfort from the feel of her skin against mine. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. Lawyer, remember? I’ve seen it all.”
I chuckle, feeling the lightness seep back in between us. “I mean, it’s no second family, but I also own a bowling alley. How many clients do you have who can say that?”