Chapter Five.
Lyrical – Sixteen Months Later.
“Jesse?”
“Hey, Lyrical. I just got out of chemistry.” There was a pause. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work right now?
When I spoke, my voice broke. “I had to come home.”
“What’s going on?”
“Mom’s gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean ‘gone’?”
“She’s just… gone. I went to school. Dad…” I couldn’t contain my sob. “Dad went to the food bank and when he got back all of her stuff was gone.”
“Lyrical, why was your dad home?”
I heard the confusion in his voice. He knew our schedules.
On Tuesdays, I worked at the library from three-fifteen until eight o’clock.
By the time I walked home, if he let me, it was almost nine.
Dad worked his factory job from six until two, then went to do his odd jobs until late.
After Mom got home from her factory job, she went to her second job, cleaning offices. None of us should be home at four p.m.
For months, I lied to him. I wasn’t proud of it, but I didn’t have the courage to tell him the truth.
“I’m sorry, Jesse. I haven’t been honest with you,” I admitted. “Dad got hurt this winter stringing holiday decorations at one of his jobs. The ladder sat on some ice, and he fell and hurt his back. He wasn’t able to work.”
“Jesus, Lyrical—”
“I’ve been babysitting for extra money. Got a job at the mall on my days off from the library, but…
it doesn’t make up for dad. He couldn’t collect workman’s comp since he gets paid cash-only, and then he lost his factory job because of his injury.
They started fighting, but I figured it would pass. The stress… It’s been a lot.”
“Oh, sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me what was going on?”
That he was so understanding and not mad at me for lying to him made this whole situation so much worse. I felt so guilty.
“I didn’t want you to worry. You were getting ready for exams and needed to focus on college, not worrying about me and things you couldn’t fix.”
“And of course it was easy to hide it from me since my parents took us on a cruise for the holidays. Maybe I couldn’t have fixed it, but I could have helped somehow.”
“You do more than you should already.”
Like the laptop he bought me for my birthday.
The cell phone for the anniversary of our first date, for which he paid the bill.
He also sent me Stanford merchandise so that I had sweatshirts, T-shirts, joggers, hats, gloves, and even a puffy jacket.
This way, “his girl” broadcasted to everyone where he was, but I knew he really meant to keep me from shopping at thrift stores.
“Do you think she’ll come back?” he asked softly.
I shook my head, then remembered he couldn’t see me. “No. Dad said the emergency cash is gone, too, not that there was much since she wasn’t working either.”
“Did she leave a note?”
“I’ve looked everywhere, and there’s nothing. I knew she struggled. They both were. Losing a job is bad enough, but this was an accident and uncontrollable. I thought we’d figure it out, you know? Dad’s a mess. I don’t know what to do.”
The silence over the line felt heavy. I could almost hear him thinking over the line.
“My flight leaves at two on Friday. I’m supposed to meet my folks in Gulf Shores. I’ll change my ticket and come home.”
“No, Jesse. Don’t do that,” I begged. I wanted to see him.
To feel his arms around me, holding me together as I fell apart.
It wouldn’t fix anything, but for a few minutes I wouldn’t feel so alone.
“Being here with me won’t solve any of my problems, and it would create more for you with your family. ”
“I’m not going. You need me. I don’t need to go to Gulf Shores for the eightieth millionth time.”
“Your mom won’t like it.” Jesse’s mother loathed me. I only visited his house once, and she made it very clear she thought I was far beneath him.
“You let me worry about my mother. What can I do in the meantime?”
“Nothing. There’s nothing to do. I just… I just needed to hear your voice.” I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I hate that you’ve gone through this by yourself.
I get why you said nothing, but no more, Lyrical.
Don’t keep things from me because you don’t want to worry me.
If I can’t be there physically, and there’s nothing I can do physically, I can at least listen.
Three days and I’ll be home. You gonna be all right? ”
“I don’t have any choice but to be okay.”
“Call me when you get home from work at night. No excuses. And if you need me beyond that, you call me. Anytime. If I see it’s you, I’ll answer, no matter what. Don’t care what time it is or what’s going on.”
“Okay.”
My voice sounded small, even to me, but to be honest, I was at the end of my rope.
I should have protested more, convinced him to meet his family as planned, but I was weak.
I hadn’t seen him in so long, and I needed the false sense of shelter he provided.
He was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
Unfortunately, the worst was yet to come.