Chapter Ten.
Lyrical - First Deployment
Today we celebrated the anniversary of Jesse’s graduation from boot camp. A lot had happened in that time. Immediately after Infantry School, the marines assigned both brothers departed for Camp Pendleton. It surprised me, but not them. They said nothing because they didn’t want to worry me.
It didn’t surprise me Jamie decided he wanted to enter the training pipeline for the Raiders. For all his wild ways and flouting authority as a teen, he was a natural Marine, and already a bit of a legend on the base for his physical capabilities and marksmanship.
The surprise came from Jesse. He planned to follow his twin. While he didn’t have quite the same “superpowers” as his brother physically, he gave him a very good run for his money in terms of marksmanship. He was a natural leader, unlike Jamie who didn’t want to lead
The thought of him being involved in combat at some point was nerve-wracking enough.
But Special Operations? That was terrifying.
It meant he’d be in some of the worst places and worst situations possible.
Despite my concerns, I felt incredibly proud of him, and I supported his choice even if I lost sleep over it at times.
Raider training had been tough on the twins, but they helped each other out and made it through with flying colors.
The ink was barely dry on Jamie’s paperwork certifying him as Special Operations when duty called.
He didn’t even have time to say goodbye, but Jesse said he’d known it was coming.
Apparently, Jamie had as well, because that’s how Jesse knew.
Rumor had it he was in Iraq within twenty-four hours.
As soon as we arrived, Jesse applied for housing on the base. Six weeks later, we received word a unit opened up, and the day we moved in, amidst the boxes, the pizza leftovers, and some of his battalion buddies, he proposed. We were married two weeks later.
Thirty-six months from the day he entered the Marines, both were on their first deployment god-knows-where doing god-knows-what. The first week of his deployment, I did well. I tricked myself into believing he was just away for training.
This week? Not so much.
Today had been an off day at work, so I went into the food bank to volunteer, and the shift was probably contributing to my melancholy mood as well.
A single mother came in today, two little children in tow, and new to the procedures.
She struggled with being there. It wasn’t uncommon.
People’s pride often stopped them from seeking needed and deserved help, but they became more willing to seek it when children were involved because it meant ensuring their provision.
Luckily, I wasn’t there alone and could walk her through her first experience. She seemed grateful, especially when she needed a moment to visit the restroom. I watched over her little ones while she collected herself when her emotions overwhelmed her.
Back at home, I’d barely put my purse away when someone knocked on my door.
I was too tired to think about who could be looking for me, and while I normally looked through the peephole since I was a woman who lived alone most of the time, today I neglected to do so.
Therefore, I did not expect who greeted me on the other side.
James Forbes. Jesse’s father. How the hell did the man get on base without an invitation? His reach was long, but it extended this far? I wondered who owed him a favor, or worse yet, who he’d bribed.
“Miss Mewes.”
His greeting was distant. Almost as if he were meeting a client for the first time. I’d only met him once, and he’d struck me then as a cold man. While he hadn’t been overtly hostile when Jesse introduced us, he hadn’t been friendly either.
This would clearly not be a pleasant visit, and the frustration I was already feeling over him being allowed to be here at all built.
“Mr. Forbes. This is a surprise. Jesse’s not here. He’s on deployment, and I’m unsure when he’ll be returning. I’m sorry you came all this way for nothing.”
“I’m aware Jesse is overseas. I didn’t come to see him. May I come in?”
My heart began a faster tattoo. What could he possibly want other than to see Jesse or Jamie?
Words stuck in my throat, not that I was exactly sure how to respond, so I merely pulled the door open wider and stepped aside, the invitation implying he was welcome to enter, although really, he wasn’t.
However, I didn’t want to create a scene.
I’d let him say what he came to say and usher him on his way.
He took several steps into the foyer and looked around while I closed the door behind us. Nervousness at being alone with this man behind a closed door sent my stomach into a boiling vat of acid. Nothing good would come of this.
Tearing his gaze away from the small living space and simple furnishings, his eagle-eyed stare returned to me.
He definitely found me and our home, wanting.
I was proud of what I’d been able to accomplish to make the space homier with the little we had, especially since I refused to touch Jesse’s money from his grandparents, but I knew what he thought based on his sour expression.
“I’ll come right to the point, Miss Mewes.
I know Jesse has foolishly made an eight-year commitment to the Marines.
Despite my efforts to cancel his contract, I’m forced to accept he will not be home regularly for at least four years, and even then he’ll need to be available as part of the reserves.
However, what I can do is ensure he is free of any other… obligations when that time comes.”
Obligations. He meant me.
Steeling my spine, I stood tall. I felt no shame in the circumstances of my birth, nor the history of my family.
I’d been an excellent student, had a job, and I was a good person.
Jesse had helped to stamp out a lot of my insecurities, and I was much stronger than ever before.
I would not allow this man to make me feel small.
Instead of asking what he referred to, I stood silent.
He was a man of action and didn’t want to be in my presence.
He’d be quick to tell me what he wanted.
He held out an eight-by-eleven manila envelope to me.
I didn’t want to take it. Suspicion snuck through my brain, bleeding into my bones, seeping into my organs, and clutching my heart.
When I refused to reach out for it, he threw it on the kitchen table, as if he couldn’t stand touching it himself. The gesture seemed symbolic of throwing something away. Something not worth its contents.
I didn’t blink. Didn’t follow its trajectory to the table. I just stood there, holding his steely gaze with my own.
“Inside is an agreement. In exchange for your breaking off this… arrangement with my son, we are providing you with fifty thousand dollars. That should be a sufficient amount of money for you to move to another state, one besides Wisconsin or North Carolina, and keep you stable until you find another place to live, a job, whatever you need to get started.”
Irritation flared. “Keep it,” I responded.
“It’s not an insignificant amount of money.”
“You can’t buy me, Mr. Forbes.”
“Miss Mewes, be reasonable.”
“I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. I haven’t even argued with you. I simply explained you can’t buy me.”
“This… relationship the two of you have… You don’t honestly think it will last, do you? Jesse’s too young to know his own mind. Look at how irrationally he acted, simply because we told him he couldn’t have something he thought he wanted.”
I stood still as a statue.
“Never once was he disobedient, insubordinate, or willful. Until he met you.”
“You can’t be any of those things and succeed in the military. The armed forces rely on men and women who can follow orders. He simply failed to follow your wishes because they were unjustifiable to him.”
“You’ve deprived him of opportunities that should be his.”
For just a moment, I felt a pang. Jesse had given up everything, basically, to be with me.
College. Money. Privilege. His family. While he never said so, I knew going no contact with them hurt, even if they were people he didn’t want to associate with.
Despite it, some part of him still loved his parents and held onto what were fond, if not happy, memories from before his connection to me.
Now I felt real anger bubble up. However, I stamped the emotion down, knowing it would do me no favors to lose my temper with him, or even show how his pettiness affected me.
It would only give him ammunition for when he eventually approached Jesse with some sort of similar offer, because I knew he would.
Men, like his father, thought everyone had a price.
“Mr. Forbes, you cannot buy me. At any price,” I repeated. “I love Jesse, and Jesse loves me. We may not have all of his ‘opportunities’ you and your money can provide him with, but he has new doors open to him. Ones which are fulfilling his needs.”
“He’s not meant to live this kind of life.”
“This kind of life?” I asked. “A life filled with purpose? A life where he picks the future he wants instead of one he felt obligated to live? He’s happy, Mr. Forbes. We’re happy. Together.”
“But you’re not together, Miss Mewes. Your lives are quite distant right now, and distance has a tendency to weaken even the strongest of bonds.
He’ll be lacking companionship where he’s stationed, and there will be other women surrounding him who will be more than happy to fulfill his needs while you’re apart.
You don’t strike me as a woman who would suffer infidelity. ”
And now I hit nuclear level. My filter turned off. “You think so little of your son that you believe he’ll be unfaithful to me, simply because we’re separated by distance?”
“It’s inevitable. Do you honestly believe soldiers are faithful to their wives?”
“I’m not concerned with other Marines.” I emphasized the last word.
Marines were not soldiers. They didn’t refer to themselves that way.
They held themselves more elite, more unique than that.
“I’m only concerned with Jesse, and I think I know him much better than you do.
Truthfully? I think you know it too. I think you’re trying to scare me, make me feel insecure, cause me to panic and bolt. It won’t happen. I. Know. Him.”
The muscle in his jaw developed a tic, and his teeth clenched in frustration.
“I know my son. He will eventually come to realize that he made a mistake. You will too. Without his money and position, Jesse is no longer the meal ticket someone like you wanted, and you will move onto something better once you find it.”
I saw the raw emotion behind his words. In his own way, he missed his son. I couldn’t fault him for that, although his methods of pulling him back into the family were despicable.
“Would you offer a woman who lived with Jamie the same package deal?”
“Jamie is not the issue here. I’m dealing with Jesse.”
In other words, no. Jamie had always been a wild child. They expected behavior like this from him, and they would throw their hands up in the air over it. They wouldn’t fight it, even if they berated him for it. Jamie made so much sense to me now.
“I love your son, and he loves me,” I repeated. “It’s not your place to interfere.”
With force, he propelled himself to the door, opened it, then whipped around to face me. “Think long and hard, Miss Mewes. This offer won’t be available forever. You have a week to make your decision. Make the correct one.”
He slammed the door in his wake, and I could hear his angry footfalls as he headed toward the elevator.
The envelope lay on the kitchen table like a poisonous snake. There was no way I was going to open it. The money was not a temptation, and I would never take it.
Regarding the rest of what Jesse’s father said, insecurity hit me. Was I depriving Jesse of opportunities he could have had? Would he be better off without me in his life? Was I simply someone he felt responsible for? Was holding onto him being selfish?
I shook my head, trying to clear myself of the sudden doubt.
No, Jesse loved me. Yes, he felt responsible, but because of his love, not out of pity or some other misguided emotion.
And I loved him. Totally. Unmotivated by anything other than the fact that he filled my heart with everything good and true.
My years of adulting long before being of legal age should have benefited me. Was I scared to do all of this on my own? Yes. Did it ever occur to me not to follow through? No, I could do this.
The envelope would stay where it was. Unopened. Ignored. When Mr. Forbes came back and saw it untouched, he’d realize it was unwanted. However, I knew he could spin its presence to Jesse as something I accepted if it was physically here.
I needed to tell him.
Grabbing my cell phone, I pondered what to tell him.
He warned me that calling me might be sporadic.
A quick text here or there might be all he could do, and even that might be irregular.
What could I tell him to let him know it was urgent, that I needed to talk to him soon, but that it wasn’t a matter of life and death?
Direct was best. I snapped a photo and sent it off with a message: Your father stopped by. He’d see the envelope and his mind would go to the obvious and correct conclusion.
Leaving it at that, I slipped the phone into my pocket. He’d call when he could. At least he knew what had happened and my response to the offer.