4. Claire
4
CLAIRE
I arrived in Thorn Falls three days ago, and in that time, I’ve only seen my roommate twice in passing, dropping off boxes so full of colorful clothing they were left open on her side of the room. The bright pinks and blues and yellows are surprising, as both times she was dressed in sensible navy and gray.
She seemed friendly enough from what I saw in the ten minutes we spent together, but I don’t think there’s any chance I’ll see her today. Both times we met were early morning; she’s disappeared the rest of the time. Her social life is clearly very active.
When I come back from the library, my backpack full of books, I’m surprised to see her hanging her stuff in her wardrobe.
Lily’s a pretty, tall girl with straight black hair and bangs. I am officially jealous. I’d look ridiculous with bangs, and my hair wouldn’t behave like that even right out of the hairdresser. She wears overly large, oval glasses that complete her sexy librarian look. She is truly pretty; a classical beauty.
“Oh, hi!” I say, feeling a little awkward.
Today, she’s in jeans and a cream button-down blouse with a large lace collar; the kind of clothing I could have worn, and I shop with my grandmother. Incongruously, she’s holding a piece of shiny fabric—PVC or latex, I think—in bright red.
“Hey!” she calls back. “How are you doing? Used to the madness yet?”
I shrug. “I can’t say it’s been all that crazy so far. I shopped for stationery, registered at the yoga studio, that kinda stuff.”
She spares me a glance. “New in town, huh? Don’t sweat it. That was me last year. You’ll fit in just fine. Only about a tenth of the students are local, given the insane admission requirements. I can introduce you to my friends, but fair warning: we’re all major geeks.”
“Oh, I’m a geek,” I assure her, unsure how that wasn’t clear.
At home, everyone seemed to know I was the kind of girl who could write full sentences in Sindarin. Maybe because I grew up in the same small town my whole life, so they’d all tried to talked to me and realized that I was weird by the time I turned twelve. Come to think of it, my general style might say proper young lady more than closet Star Wars fan. But then again, Lily isn’t all that weird.
“No, I mean, major geeks,” she repeats, tossing me a piece of fabric.
I catch it and lift it up, unsure what I’m looking at, at first. I tilt my head.
“Is this…a cloak?” It looks familiar. Black and green, with golden panels. “Loki’s,” I say.
“Yep. Part of my genderbend Loki cosplay. Though arguably, I shouldn’t say genderbend, as Loki is canonically fluid in myths, and even Marvel got that right-ish. So, just Loki,” she concludes.
Bubbly, chatty, lovely.
“Sylvie,” I reply, remembering the name of the variant in the terrible miniseries I suffered through last year. “That’s the name of the series’ other Loki, right?
“Yeah, but she’s lame, and I’m pretending that show doesn’t exist, so just Loki,” she repeats.
I grin, handing it back to her. “It’s very well made.”
“Thanks. I sewed it myself. I’m that kind of geek.”
“Ah. Well, I haven’t crossed over to the world of cosplay yet,” I admit. “So, I guess I lose some geek points. I’ve drawn some fanart though.”
“You have?”
It’s only fair that I show her some of my doodles after she let me see her cloak. I’m not very good, but I enjoy the creative outlet. Besides, it’s a cheap hobby now that I crossed over to digital drawing. It used to be fairly expensive, back when I used pencils and paint.
“Shut up. These are so good! Are you getting an art bachelor?” she asks, wide-eyed.
I wrinkle my nose. “Nah, accounting for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love drawing. But art doesn’t immediately lead to a lucrative career.”
“I get it. I mean, I’d love to study fine art. You know, do something with my passion.” She gestures to the box she’s unpacking. “But I’m in marketing.”
I smile, glad I ended up with someone I can relate to.
“My boyfriend decided to study art. Everyone told us both it was too risky. I wish I were that courageous.”
“Nah.” She shakes her head. “I’d rather be able to afford a comfortable life, independently. Honestly, most people who have that sort of courage tend to come from stable, privileged backgrounds; enough to have a safety net to fall back on if their dream don’t pan out. I don’t. And this college is just too expensive to waste it on a dream.”
I take a minute to think about Noah, and his dad’s house, and the job he’s guaranteed to be able to fall back on at his uncle’s construction company. I mean, he isn’t exactly rich-rich, but he does have fairly good prospects, even if his sculpture ends up not taking off. By contrast, what I have is a grandma with no saving and a bum knee.
My mother, Hyacinth, is thirty-five, and looks and acts a lot more like an older sister. She’s done well for herself, and has a nice job in finance, in New York City. She sends presents, gift cards, and wire me cash almost every month, too, but she’s in no position to help me if I can’t support myself.
My sperm donor has never been in the picture. I never thought of it that way, but Lily’s right. What Noah truly had wasn’t courage; it was a real choice.
I don’t know how I feel about that. Jealous, mostly.
“Hey, is that a Wolverines sweatshirt?” I say, spotting the next item she unfolds.
There were a few fans of the University of Michigan’s team in my old school.
Her nose wrinkles. “Yeah, my ex’s. He was a dick, but a pretty good hockey player.” The last part, she adds somewhat reluctantly. “This is my girlfriend tax. Trust me, I earned it.”
“I wish I could steal Noah’s sweatshirts, but he never wears any. Cardigans and blazers, all the way.” I roll my eyes.
Lily makes a face, though frankly, a cardigan or blazer would look amazing with her outfit.
“So, your ex is from Michigan?” I ask, pointing to the yellow and blue logo.
“Yup. So am I. Ann Arbor, born and raised.”
“Seriously?” I gape. “I lived, like, two hours away.”
It’s wild we both find ourselves on the other side of the country.
"I guess they must have done it on purpose, figuring I could show you the ropes.” Lily beams. “As I said, my friends are pretty nerdy, but it sounds like you’ll fit right in. There’s a concert tomorrow, if you want to come?”
“Sure!” I reply immediately, even knowing tomorrow’s Sunday.
College starts the next day; I didn’t plan on doing much, to try to rest, but I’m certainly not passing on the opportunity to meet new people.
"Hey,” I find myself saying, retrieving the two cards in my wallet. “I got an invitation to a house party tonight. Fancy coming with me?”
I don’t know why I do it. I had actually decided not to go. Keller is too attractive, talking to him is too easy when he’s a stranger, and I know Noah would hate the fact that I accepted an invitation from a guy. If he knew the guy happened to be the one who gave me the overpriced notebook, plus a huge gift card, his head would literally explode. My plan was staying at home.
But surely, going with a friend isn’t the same as showing up alone. Accepting a guy’s invitation alone is an opening. A bit like a date. I wouldn’t do that. I’m not that kind of girl. But turning up with Lily is innocent. Besides, Keller was just being nice to extend the invite. He saw I was new, friendless, and took pity on me, that’s all.
I make myself ignore the look I caught as I entered the library. The intense, steely stare, without a smile, without a word.
Lily gasps out loud. "Seriously?” She’s almost screaming. “Dude, three days here and you got a house card from the fucking wyverns? That's insane.I didn’t get one in a freaking year !”
I flush. “Oh. I didn’t know. I mean, Keller just said it was his cousin’s house…” I trail off.
“Keller?” she repeats, her voice an octave higher. “You got invited by Keller ? Wait, which one?”
I remember him saying there were two other Kellers.
“Darius,” I say.
This only makes Lily stare at me wordlessly.
“I didn’t realize it was a big deal?” I’m a little embarrassed somehow.
“Fuck. Okay, let me explain. I forgot you’re new.” She abandons her clothes and sits on her bed, so I do the same, hopping onto mine. “I said only about ten percent of Rothford is local, right? Well, most of them have been admitted, not because of a pristine transcript like you and I, but because their parents, and grandparents, and great-grandparents studied here. Local rich families founded the school for their kids, and still sit on the board. The legacies are a shoo-in.”
I roll my eyes, nose wrinkled in distaste. “Isn’t that the same everywhere?”
“True. Well, as you can imagine, the spawns of the Archers, and Hunts, and Montgomerys, and Goltzes, and yes, Kellers , certainly aren’t about to share communal dorms with the rabble. So, instead, they built fancy houses on their private lane. What you have here,” she tells me, eyeing the cards on my lap, “are invites to the wyverns, one of the fanciest houses. When you said Keller, I assumed you meant the wyvern cousin. He’s a bit of a wildcard. He plays hockey, actually—badly, from what I’ve seen—and is sort of approachable. Then, there’s Sebastian Keller, who was the head of the Vesper House last year. He passed the bar, and has started working for a big firm in town, but he was pretty chill. Almost human.” She chuckles. “ Darius Keller? That guy’s a god , and he knows it. He never hangs out with us mortals. I haven’t seen him at any party, concert, or club in southie. He stays with other legacies.”
I can’t deny that was exactly my initial impression of the man. Like he didn’t exist on the same plane as me.
“I mean, it’s pretty normal,” Lily reasons. “ His dad is a top model, and he’s also been a celebrity for most of his life—nothing huge, but he has a bit of a fan club. It’s not surprising he keeps his circle small. There are some crazies out there. But yeah, all that to say, it’s pretty wild you got that from him .”
I can only bob my head. “Maybe I shouldn’t go.”
“Are you kidding? We are absolutely not missing this. It'll be awesome to see them get drunk and ridiculous. Plus, free booze.”
“I don’t really drink,” I argue.
That’s not quite true. I haven’t made the conscious decision to not drink, I’ve just never had an opportunity to do it before.
“Well, I drink enough for both of us, so you can be the DD. Except, it’s thirty minutes’ walk, max, so no point waking up my old, tired car for the trip. All right, what are you wearing?”
Shit.
I have literally nothing fit for a young crowd’s party. A church group’s luncheon, sure.
I look through my wardrobe, far sparser than Lily’s, and find various versions of the simple A-line skater dress I’m wearing, in beige, and pink, and baby blue, and cream. There are a few knee-length skirts and blouses, not unlike the one Lily has on.
My roommate joins me, clearly sensing my despair as I riffle through the selection a second time. “Sorry, I—” I bite my lower lip. “My grandma shops for me, most of the time. I mean, it’s her money.”
I feel incredibly lame.
“Wait, this one!” Lily says as I pull out one of my shirts; white, with a layer of lace, and then a top underneath.
It’s rather pretty, but I literally wore it to accompany Grandma to brunch.
“Yeah?”
She nods eagerly. “Yep. With one of my skirts. Give me a second. Do you have tights? And heels. You’re going to need heels.”
She hops back onto her side of the room as I look at my five pairs of shoes.
I am pretty certain that by heels, she doesn’t mean two-inch tall Mary Janes or loafers, but that’s all I have.
“The red ones,” she says, pointing to the first pair of heels. “And this.”
“Hell no.”
She’s holding a pleated leather skirt, high-waisted, and shorter than anything I’ve ever worn in my entire life.
“Hell yes.”