20. Margeaux
20
MARGEAUX
Welcome to the Hayes Family…
Gus’s words repeat over and over in my head as I go through the motions of prepping the ingredients. I can think of little else. That’s not true—they are the only thing I can think about. Five words that have completely taken over my entire world, shifting it on its axis, sending my head and heart into a whirlwind.
In every good way possible.
Biting back a smile, I continue to chop, doing my best not to lose myself into a fit of giggles. I am not thirteen, and the cutest boy in school didn’t just slip me a note in between classes. Except, that’s exactly what this feels like. Maybe even better.
I knew I was in deep—really, really deep—especially after spending this last weekend playing house with Gus. And I know he has feelings for me too. What exactly those feelings are and whether or not they run as deep as mine, I still don’t have full confirmation on, but after a statement like that, maybe I do.
Right? Right. Maybe .
“You’re coming, right, Margeaux?” Alice Evans, owner of Oh, My Lard!, the bakery in town, asks, looking up from her laptop.
I blink, pulling my head out of the clouds and back into the moment. But before I can answer, Dolly chimes in.
“Of course she is!”
I glance between her, Alice, and Emily—whose last name I have since learned is Barrowcliff, and that she’s not only Dolly’s cousin, but little sister to Gus’s best friend—trying to figure out what they are talking about. The two women, who are now sitting on the other side of the kitchen island as Dolly and I cook, showed up shortly after I joined Dolly inside, which helped to raise Dolly’s spirits. Lost in my own world, I haven’t paid much attention to all their girl talk, but I do know that Jeff’s name—and his now absence from today—hasn’t been mentioned. Only fueling my curiosity about the moment from earlier.
“Where are we going?”
“Right now it’s a toss-up between Blue Ridge, a little town up in the mountains, or Atlanta,” Alice says. “If we go with Blue Ridge, we’re thinking rent a big-ass cabin house, complete with pool and hot tub, and just chill. Or we could hit up Atlanta for big-city fun with clubbing and shows, and there is a spa that Willa took Kenzie to and raved about.”
“There’s a ton to do in Blue Ridge. We won’t be hurting for ideas if we go up there and want to get out and about. Not that I’m opposed to a couple of days of doing nothing,” Emily adds. “Or, there’s always Disney if we wanna go real big.”
“When? What for?” I still have no clue what is being discussed, and none of their comments are giving me any kind of context clues. This is what I get for daydreaming.
“My bachelorette,” Dolly says, her smile turning teasing. “ A little lost in thought over there? I saw the way Gus was holding on to you.”
Heat prickles the back of my neck, and the feel of all eyes turning to me in an instant is more than a little uncomfortable. Back to the topic at hand.
“I don’t want to crash your party.”
“You’re not,” all three women answer, almost in unison.
Okay then…
“We’re going all out,” Dolly says. “It’s us three, plus Rose, Willa, Kenzie, Sylvie, Bronwyn, Brenna…I emailed Maisey, but I’m not expecting her to make it.”
“Do you even know what country she’s in?” Emily asks.
“Nope!” Turning to me, Dolly explains, “Maisey is another one of our cousins. She’s off traveling the world and we never have any idea where she is.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. Just, whatever you do, don’t mention her name around Ewan.”
My brow furrows, confusion taking over. That’s a random instruction if there ever was one. No clue as to why Dolly and Emily’s cousin who I’ve never heard of until this moment would ever come up in conversation, much less in front of Gus’s youngest brother, but…noted.
I nod. “Got it.”
“It’s…complicated…” Emily adds.
“But, other than Maisey, everyone is coming on this trip. Including you. You’re one of us now.”
My heart squeezes again, the acceptance from these women meaning just as much as it did from Gus. Moving to Hickory Hills was a risk, one that I knew was worth it professionally, but I was not expecting it to pay off so quickly on a personal level.
“Then I’m in. Just let me know who I owe what. ”
“Oh, puh-lease,” Alice scoffs, waving off my comment. “This is all expenses paid. Hux is covering it.”
My ears perk up. My list of questions keeps getting longer and longer. “Hux is paying? For everything? That whole group?”
Dolly nods, blushing. “He insisted. He’s my Man of Honor, but thinks it’d be weird to come on the bachelorette?—”
“Which it would,” Alice cuts her off. “Love the guy, but…”
Dolly acquiesces. “So, he insisted on covering the whole thing. Told me to book and plan whatever I wanted, for whomever I wanted, and he’ll cover all of it. I think he’s just really happy to not have to deal with any more wedding planning stuff. He’s been a great sport these last three years.”
I freeze, unable to hide how dumbfounded I still am by that number. I was the first time she said it and I am even more now. Dolly doesn’t seem to notice, but Alice and Emily don’t miss it. “That’s a long engagement.”
“We didn’t want to rush it. Well, Jeff didn’t. I would have gone to the courthouse had he agreed,” she replies, turning to check the oven.
I look at Alice and Em, my eyes wide. They both nod, silently confirming so much. I have a lot to learn about living in a small town.
“Enough about me!” The declaration startles me, Dolly’s blonde ponytail flying as she whips back around to face me. “What’s going on with you and Gus?”
Shifting, I try to find the best way to answer this. That there is something going on between Gus and me isn’t a secret—at least not in this kitchen, with these women. They’ve been helping us hide it, each one sworn to secrecy and promising they’ll take it to the grave. A promise that I’ve innately trusted since I met them.
Still, I don’t know how to answer. I know how I feel. That’s not in question. Whether I’m ready to put the words to it is a different story. But the actual feelings themselves? I’ve never been more sure. That doesn’t change the fact that Gus and I haven’t had a real chance to be a couple. That what we are, and what we’ve been doing, is still new.
“We’re…figuring things out,” I reply, hoping that will satisfy curiosities.
It doesn’t.
“The look on his face whenever you show up tells me you are long past figuring things out ,” Dolly comments.
I smile, the prickle of heat returning to the back of my neck, my cheeks joining in on the party this time. There’s so much I want to say. A mess of emotions swirling inside of me that I have yet to fully make sense of. No, not true. I know them but I’m afraid to admit to them. There’s a difference.
“We haven’t had the most conventional start.”
“So?” Alice asks.
Shrugging, I look down, focusing on the chopping board and the brightly colored veggies I have strewn across it. All that does is send a pang through me though, making me think of cooking with Gus and the fun we had.
“If you’re unsure of your feelings, you can tell us,” Dolly says. “Please don’t think that because we’re his friends too that you can’t confide in us or that we won’t keep your secret anymore.”
“Oh no, this is Vegas,” Emily assures. “What is said here, stays here. And we’ll be your beard as long as you two need us to be—we won’t let Aunt Hattie and her rumor mill twist this into something it’s not. Even if this doesn’t go anywhere. Gus is like an extra big brother to me, and like Dolly said, you’re one of us now. Secrets are safe here.”
Aunt who?!
“Hattie Burch,” Dolly explains, reading my mind. Or at least my face, which I’m sure betrayed me. “Sister to both my grandmother and Em’s. Chief Hickory Hills busybody.”
I nod, processing this new set of information. That’s one member of their family I do know. And now that I’ve made this connection, Mrs. Burch’s comments while trying to set me up with Jake about how she’d “all but given up on Emily” make a lot more sense. At the time, I didn’t put two and two together that it was this Emily.
Oh, small towns.
Sighing, I decide it’s time to own up to it all. To be as fearless in this part of my life as I am on the professional side.
“I don’t think it’s any secret that I’ve had a crush on Gus Hayes since he asked if he could sit next to me at that bar at JFK.” Scooping up the pile of veggies in front of me, I dump them into the bowl and bring the cutting board over to the sink. I wash my hands quickly, then turn back to the island and the bowls of wet and dry ingredients for the hush puppies. “That has not changed since I arrived in Hickory Hills. If anything, it’s more than a crush now.”
I can hear the unvoiced squeals, the barely contained Cheshire cat grins taking over my friends’ faces more than enough to let me know the giddy feelings spreading through me as I say that out loud are contagious.
My heart swells, reveling in the excitement while trying to ignore the hesitation. I start to mix the wet and the dry, whisking quickly, pushing down my worry.
Welcome to the Hayes Family…
Gus’s words echo through my mind again, setting my soul on fire and kicking my pulse into gear. He wouldn’t have said that if he wasn’t in this. Fully, completely in this. That isn’t who he is. I know that. I trust that. What I don’t know is if his feelings are as deep as mine.
“I sense a but coming,” Alice says.
I sigh, nodding. “We haven’t had a chance to…I dunno. I kn ow how I feel, and I think I know how he feels. It’s all just been a little weird since half the time we’re trying to pretend we’re not on a date.”
“But even when you’re ‘not on a date,’ he can’t take his eyes off you,” Alice points out.
“Margeaux, I meant when I said I saw the way he was holding on to you. Like you were the last life preserver on the Titanic,” Dolly chides. “For as stoic as he is all the damn time, I have never seen him this animated.”
I smile, soaking in their assurance. Because that’s what I want, more than anything. For him to be as consumed by this as I am.
“I don’t think I’ve seen Grumpy Gus smile this much since…ever, actually,” Emily adds. “Even with Carly.”
I set down the whisk, jutting out a hip to lean against the counter. “Can someone explain that to me? I’ve heard y’all call him Grumpy Gus a bunch, but seriously, I don’t once think I’ve seen him grumpy. Somber, deadpan, stern even, but not grumpy.”
“Exactly our point,” Alice says. “Because since you got here, he hasn’t been. Gus Hayes has always been…intense. Way too serious for his own good. Even when we were kids, he was the one reminding us to follow the rules.”
I chuckle. I have no problem imagining a miniature Gus bossing the other kids around, reminding them there are rules for a reason and that they should be followed. And serious? I can’t argue with her there. Because he is. Only, it stems from his passion. It’s something I understand, because I’m the same way. It’s something my family doesn’t understand either though, so I also know there is no use in trying to explain it now.
“Intense is a good word for him,” I tell her, butterflies fluttering in my chest thinking about just how intense Gus can be. Like that kiss he greeted me with earlier. “But in a good way.”
Alice raises a brow, and I can see her mind running wild with my comment.
“I’ve always figured it would be like having sex with the Count from Sesame Street ,” Em jokes. “One thrust, a-ha-ha-ha…two thrusts, a-ha-ha-ha…”
I burst into laughter, thankful I’m not still holding the knife. The visual is so clear in my head I’m not sure I’m ever going to be rid of it, my sides starting to hurt from my uncontrollable laughter. The other three women are right there with me though, actual tears streaming down Alice’s cheeks as she tries to catch her breath. Emily’s comment was straight out of left field, but was exactly what we all needed.
“It is nothing like having sex with the Count,” I say, finally able to breathe again. “It’s…”
“Everyone decent?” Hux’s shout cuts off my thought, and I don’t know if I’m grateful or sad that I don’t get the chance to brag on Gus’s intensity.
Dolly giggles, and we all look at her, confused by what about Hux’s question would elicit that response.
“We’re cooking,” she replies as he and Gus turn the corner into the kitchen. “Why on earth would you think we wouldn’t be decent while cooking?”
“Only every one of my fantasies,” he jokes. Or at least I think he’s joking. “Brenna’s here and oil’s about ready, so we’re here for the bird.”
“Oh!” Em pops up out of her chair. “I’m not missing this.”
“It’s fully defrosted, Em,” Hux defends.
“I know, but just in case.” She holds up her phone, showing off that she’s ready to record the event.
“You joinin’ us?” Gus asks me, pressing his lips gently to my temple. I swoon, but stop myself from leaning into him.
“After the stories I’ve heard, I wouldn’t miss it. ”
“Good, then out you get.” He nods toward the door, giving my ass a light smack.
“One ass slap, a-ha-ha-ha…” Emily mutters, leading the way toward the front door.
We lose it again, our laughter bouncing off the walls as we walk outside. Once we’re out on the front porch, Gus slips his arm around my waist, holding us back from the group. For a second I think he’s going to ask what Emily’s comment was about, but instead, he simply kisses me.
Except, this kiss is anything but simple.
It’s softer than before, but still holds just as much power. Tender, affectionate, and full of need, it’s a kiss of longing. Like he hasn’t seen me in weeks rather than hours. I grab hold of his sides, needing something to keep me standing, letting my weight press into him. I want to lose myself in this. In him.
Forever.
Pulling back, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, running his fingers gently down my neck as he finishes. A shiver rips through me, and I lean into him more, tightening my grip.
“What was that for?”
“Your brain might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life, but fuck, if the idea of you cooking in my kitchen doesn’t get to me.”
I laugh, kissing him again. “Well, they do say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
“You have my heart, Margeaux, and you didn’t get there via my stomach.”
The world stops, all the oxygen sucked straight from the atmosphere. I can’t breathe, my pulse racing faster than the Kentucky Derby, tears welling in my eyes. Whatever questions I might have had earlier have been answered.
“You have my heart too, Gus.”