Chapter Nine
They had been so close, so close to finding out if this chemistry really was something to be explored or simply a flash in the pan, when Matt seemed to freeze and pull back unexpectedly. The sudden change, the cold air where his warm body had just been, caught her off guard.
“Matty?” Robyn asked, her confusion clear in her tone, “What is it?”
He said nothing at first, and having known him since he was a boy, Robyn could see that her best friend had gone inside his head again. Clearly having some kind of internal debate with himself, which wasn’t ideal given the exact nature of their current circumstances. Not great timing at all, in fact. He’d sat up and was now staring straight ahead, his broad shoulders taking up most of her view.
Eventually he whispered, “I’m sorry,” and went to get up, but Robyn wasn’t letting him off that easily. He couldn’t keep messing with her feelings like this.
“For what Matt? For getting in my bed? For almost kissing me?” She reached out and grabbed his arm to prevent him from moving away.
“I’m no good at all this, Rubes,” the self-deprecating shrug which followed the admission got her temper right up.
“You seemed to be doing just fine to me,” she bit back, softening the remark by rubbing her thumb in circles on the soft underside of his forearm, “now, how about you man up and kiss me?”
It drew a half-smile from him at least, and Robyn felt the tension in his shoulders relax somewhat.
“Is that what you want? Are you sure?” He turned back to face her.
“Yes.” Unequivocally, yes. Her body was demanding it in all the right places.
“Even if it changes things between us? Even if… if I don’t measure up?”
“Please don’t give me that crap, Matt, why the heck would you not measure up?” Robyn didn’t try to bite back her exasperation. The time had come to get it all out there.
“I haven’t had the, er, experiences you have, Ruby.”
“So? It’s not like I’ve done much more than kissing, you know that, you’ve had a front row seat to all my pathetic previous forays. Why are you so worried?”
“And if it isn’t great, we’ll just… what? Go back to being friends? Friends who kissed?”
“Well, if we don’t kiss, I’m not going to be feeling very friendly towards you, so I guess we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place!” Robyn’s eyes widened as she stared him down.
“Always so feisty, I love it when you’re a bit angry,” he grinned and she saw a hint of the boy she’d grown up with, “makes you even more attractive.”
“Does it now?” She whispered, feeling her own smile reach her eyes as they both shuffled closer, the banter familiar even if the exact focus of it was not.
“It really does,” he leaned in and kissed her neck, a sudden bolt of courage that had come out of nowhere, but Robyn was happy to take it and run with it.
Angling her head so that her neck was fully exposed on that side, she could’ve clapped when he continued dotting kisses from her shoulder up to her ear and back again. When an involuntary sigh of contentment escaped her Robyn didn’t silence it, instead taking his hand and placing it over the centre of her chest.
“Do you feel that?” She asked. “My heart is beating so fast. You’re doing that to me. Making me feel alive.”
The comment seemed to spur him on, to bring the featherlight touches of his lips closer to her mouth and Robyn waited until she felt his hand on the back of her neck, fingers tangled in her hair as he finally allowed himself to get out of his head and lose control, before she turned her face slightly so that their two mouths met.
It was barely a touch, really, certainly nowhere near a recognition of the passion that they both clearly felt in that moment, but it was a start and she let him take the lead.
Matt decided to forget he was an inexperienced man in his late twenties – or rather, his body made the choice for him – and instead focused on the intense pleasure to be had from simply kissing the woman he loved softly and slowly. He paused to check she was on board, almost shocked to see the heat and depth of colour in Robyn’s eyes as she encouraged his mouth back to her with the tip of her index finger under his chin.
It may have started calmly, but the kiss intensified more quickly than a winter storm out in the bay, the waves of passion crashing in on them both until they were left breathless from the force of it.
“For someone who was so worried, you certainly know how to kiss,” Robyn said as they pulled apart, not realising how much that commendation meant to him.
Matt looked at her red, softly swollen lips, fresh from his kisses and felt an urgency swell in him that was hard to deny. It left him even more flushed and needy than the kiss itself.
“You’re so beautiful, we ah, we work so well together on every level,” he whispered, brushing a stray hair from her brow and letting his hand linger, “but I, ah, could do with a small breather. Just a bit of air, that’s all.”
She gave him a knowing smile and nodded, shuffling back onto her own side and lying flat on her back looking up at the ceiling. The aging Artex above them was hardly a pretty sight, but Matt mirrored her position on his own side, the flat posture making the rise and fall of his chest even more prominent.
“Tell me what’s been going through your head,” she whispered, still facing ahead as if by not looking directly at him he would feel more comfortable to bare his soul.
She knew him so well.
“Well, ah, there’s dad and getting him the best care. The hospital have his notes from Portugal so we need to wait till they’ve evaluated them… then there’s the inn and the accounts. I haven’t managed to broach that with him yet…” he heard himself sigh loudly, Robyn’s own exhale almost an echo as he realised that wasn’t exactly what she’d meant.
“But on top of it all there’s you,” he continued quickly, taking hold of her hand where it rested between them on the covers, “always you, the highlight of my days. Bringing out the best in me and… and making me feel things I know I have no business to be feeling.” He turned on his side to face her then and she did the same as he raised their joined hands to his face and kissed each of her knuckles delicately, “I value your friendship more than anything, Robyn, it’s so precious to me, you are so precious to me, that I’m scared any change in the, the status quo would risk that. But I guess you know by now that I want us to be more than just friends. Much more. And then I feel selfish for wanting that. For keeping you here instead of letting you fly free to have more success in your singing career…”
“Matt please!” Her clipped tone caused him to stop mid sentence, “Surely you must realise by now how much that annoys me? It’s not your place to ‘let’ me do anything, nor are you holding me back. I make my own choices. Right now, I’m choosing to ignore how much your last sentence irks me and to focus on the fact that you’ve finally been honest with me.”
Robyn leaned towards him then, her mouth hovering just a hairsbreadth from his own as she reached her arm behind him to splay her fingers flat on his back.
“And just so we’re clear,” she whispered, “our friendship is the rock we both rest on, our refuge just as it’s always been. Whatever happens it’ll still be there. Now kiss me.”
It felt decidedly like she was kissing him and not the other way around, but Matt wasn’t complaining. Somehow, when they shared these moments his mind stilled and he couldn’t think beyond how good she felt and how it was even better than he’d imagined. Couldn’t get enough of her sweet taste or the way she touched him so reverently, her hand rubbing his back in gentle circles before getting lost in his hair as their connection intensified.
“I should go,” Matt whispered against the shell of her ear, not sure how much time had passed as they explored each other’s mouths hotly, “we should see how we both feel about this tomorrow before we take it any further.” His mouth said the words but his body didn’t believe them as he rubbed a slow pattern on her bare stomach where her pyjama top had ridden up. Randomly he noted that the set she wore tonight was much more slinky than the full-on, thick tartan combo of the night before, as if she had been anticipating his joining her.
“Probably sensible,” Robyn replied, dotting kisses around his nose and then taking his mouth once again with hers.
Matt wasn’t sure if it always felt like this to be with someone in this way. Whether it always felt like you were on fire from your toes up and you could never seem to get close enough through kissing alone, or whether it was something special that the two of them shared. Either way, he certainly wasn’t complaining.
“We’re both adults,” Robyn whispered, pulling back after another few minutes, “we decide how far we go. We decide how and when. So I’m going to invite you to stay the night, because I can’t bear to sleep in this bed without you beside me right now, and if you agree, you’ll do so knowing that kissing and sleeping is all that’s on offer.”
Matt smiled, matching her own sultry, lovestruck gaze yet aware his probably looked much goofier. Robyn had always been forthright, always been the crashing storm to his brooding quiet and it was so like her that she would set clear terms now, removing any awkward ambiguity.
“Invitation accepted,” Matt whispered, even following it up with a quick wink.
Who was this man? He wondered, praying he was here to stay.