Chapter 11 #2
I grab a towel and clean us both off, gently tucking Ambrose back into his pants and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you,” I murmur.
He smiles and cups my face. “You always say that like you think I’m not as eager to do things as you are.”
It’s true, but I can’t help it. Ambrose’s submission is a gift I’ll never take for granted. He’s allowed me to tap into my alpha in a way I’ve never been able to access before.
For most of my life, I thought there must’ve been a mistake with my designation. The only thing that concretely proved that I was an alpha was my knot. I’m not a dominant guy. Sure, I’m able to be firm and tough at work, but that’s more because I want to do a good job than any alpha posturing.
Outside of a professional capacity, I’m nervous and awkward. It was a miracle Jackson was my roommate freshman year of college, because he was the only reason I wasn’t a friendless, lonely mess.
Without either member of my pack, my life would be much bleaker. That thought helps cool some of my frustration with Jackson and his sorely lacking mental barrier.
I’m sure he’s not doing it on purpose. It’s my fault I can’t keep him out.
“I know, but I still appreciate it. And you.” I squeeze Ambrose’s hand. “So much.”
“Same.” I love how his smile makes the corners of his eyes crinkle, showing years of gentle kindness lightly etched into his skin. I know he’s not a fan of the signs of him getting closer to fifty, but I think it makes him even sexier.
“Why don’t you bring your laptop down here so you can finish up your work while I make us some dinner?” Ambrose suggests as we finish putting the last of the groceries away. “If you get too distracted again, I’m more than happy to help out again,” he adds with a wink.
“I hope Jackson takes a break soon. The omega he’s working with must be insatiable. I know he’s not supposed to give any details about the heats, but there’s no way I’m not asking questions once this whole thing is over.”
Ambrose’s smile falters. “Speaking of omegas… should we talk about what happened before or after dinner?”
It takes me a moment to remember what he’s talking about. Between the chaos at work and Jackson making me a horny mess, I’d almost forgotten about Ambrose’s unusual omega encounter.
“What would you prefer?” I open my bond to him as much as I can so he can feel that I’m not upset about what happened. Yeah, it’s not like him to get so worked up, but things happen. It’s not a big deal that he masturbated at work. What matters is that he’s being open about it.
He thinks for a moment. “I guess now.”
I nod, and Ambrose leans against the kitchen island. A spike of his worry hits me.
“I promise whatever it is, you can tell me,” I reassure him.
His jaw works for a moment, and he sighs. “I think she’s my scent match.”
My stomach lurches, and I barely keep my alpha’s possessive growl at bay. “What?”
Ambrose grimaces at my reaction. “I can’t come up with any other reason for reacting to her like I did. You know I’m not easily riled up by omegas, but this… it makes what I felt for the others we courted seem inconsequential and foolish.”
I bristle at the mention of the omegas we tried to add to our pack. The last one we courted almost destroyed our pack with her manipulation and subtle, insidious attempts to pit us against each other.
Ambrose was devastated when she left. He’d thought she was ours, and when the truth came to light, it almost broke him. We decided—unanimously—to stop looking for an omega. We didn’t want to risk being torn apart again.
But if this omega is his scent match… my stomach sinks even more.
I’m going to lose him.
The dark thought rushes over me before I can fight it off.
Ambrose feels my despair through the bond and shakes his head adamantly. “I’ve already decided I won’t pursue it. It’s not worth it. I have everything I need.”
My alpha wants to agree with him. Let that be the final word on this.
But the rest of me knows better.
Resisting a scent match is like trying to swim against a strong current. It’s not impossible, but it takes an iron will to ignore it.
If Ambrose weren’t interested at all in having an omega in his life, he might be able to resist the call of a scent match. But he does. He wants it more than anything, even if he tries to say otherwise.
His alpha craves having an omega in our pack.
I can’t give him what an omega can. I hate admitting it, but I can’t.
Ambrose enjoys submitting to me, but he also longs for someone to dote on and cherish. To spoil and protect.
We’ve tried a few times, but my alpha won’t give up control like that. No matter how badly I wish I could.
I swallow hard, pushing down the panic rising inside me.
I’ve learned enough from our bad experiences with omegas that I can figure out a way to keep our pack together. I won’t be the monster that keeps the man I love from the kind of happiness a scent match will bring him.
“No.”
His brow furrows. “No?”
“You can’t dismiss this, Ambrose. A scent matched omega is everything you’ve dreamed of.” The words hurt to say, but I force them out.
“But what about what we decided—”
Ambrose’s phone buzzes against the counter, interrupting him. He glances down at it. “It’s the clinic. Probably someone asking me to cover another night shift.”
He dismisses the call to voicemail and looks back up at me. “I won’t do anything to ruin what we have. You mean everything to me, and as much as he drives me crazy, Jackson does, too. I won’t let an omega come between us again—”
The phone buzzes again and he curses.
I give him a weak smile. “It’s alright, you can answer it. We can’t make any decisions about this without Jackson, anyway.”
Ambrose sighs and lifts the phone to his ear. “Hello? Oh hi Daisy, how are you?... I’m doing fine. Is everything alright?”
I fight to get my emotions under control as he listens to whatever Daisy has to say.
“Oh no, that’s not good.”
I raise a questioning brow at Ambrose, and he grimaces. As he continues to listen, his emotions waver between concern, shock, and…desire?
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. It wouldn’t be professional, and I’m not trained—”
Daisy must interrupt him, and whatever she says is accompanied by a surge of guilt through the bond. Ambrose’s stormy gray eyes lift to meet mine, looking almost pained.
What the hell are they talking about?
“I… I need to think about it. Talk to my mate… I know. I understand. I’ll call you back.”Ambrose lets out a shaky sigh as he ends the call.
“What was that about? What’s wrong?”
“Daisy was requesting my help at the heat clinic. Apparently, Jackson is the only heat minder who was a match and available to assist with the omega’s heat.”
No wonder he’s a horny mess. It makes his lack of control a lot more excusable. Still, my brow furrows at the strange request. “She wants you to work a heat? Why? You’re not signed up as a heat minder. Does she think you’d do it because you and Jackson are packmates?”
“Uh, no.” Ambrose runs his hand across his face.
“She wants me to work the heat because I’m the only person the omega might accept in her nest mid-heat.
You can’t add someone in the middle of a heat that an omega doesn’t have a prior connection with.
And she…” He swallows hard, the pained look returning to his face.
“She mentioned being attracted to me before things got going, and now she’s requesting me. ”
“Why would she…” I trail off as understanding sets in. “The omega is your scent match.”
“I won’t go. I can’t. It’s unprofessional. It’s…” Panic radiates from him through the bond. There’s a vulnerable, desperate look on his face I’ve never seen before. “What if I get too attached? What if she doesn’t want to see me after? What if—”
I wrap my arms around him and my alpha begs me to keep him trapped in my arms so he can’t go anywhere. But I don’t listen. I can’t be that selfish. My worries don’t matter when the man I love is in such clear turmoil.
“You should go. Jackson needs you. The omega needs you. We’ll figure out the rest when the heat is over. No matter what happens, I’ll make sure you’re okay.”
The words taste bitter in my mouth, though I know they’re the right thing to say as tension bleeds from him and he releases a shuddering sigh.
Ambrose will torture himself worrying about the omega if he refuses to help. He’s always there for me, ready to support me and put my needs above his. Now it’s my turn to do the same for him.
I can only pray it isn’t a colossal mistake.