Chapter 15 #2
“I’m missing something.” Yeah, Camille was incredible, and the sex was next level. I can’t stop thinking about her, and I’m sitting here drinking black coffee even though I hate the stuff. But what is there for her to want? Heats happen and then the omega moves on.
Unless he’s thinking about when she has her next heat…
“You didn’t tell him?” River asks, brow furrowing.
“Tell me what?” There’s an annoying spike of sadness and dejection at the thought that they’re keeping something from me. I know they don’t tell me everything, nor should they, but we’re pack. Packmates shouldn’t keep secrets from each other.
It must show on my face, because Ambrose winces and gives me an apologetic look. “I haven’t had the chance to yet. It’s not like there was time to chat during the heat, and you crashed in your room before I got home yesterday. I was going to bring it up this morning.”
“Bring what up?” He’s right that we haven’t had any opportunities to talk, but no one has actually told me what the hell is going on and I’m starting to freak out.
“She’s my scent match.” Ambrose runs a hand through his messy hair and sighs. “When I met her at the clinic, there was this overwhelming connection between us. That’s why I was so, uh, worked up after we met. And during the heat.”
“Holy shit, dude.” My eyes go wide as the new information reframes the entire heat.
Camille wanted Ambrose there because her omega knew he was her scent match. Ambrose went because it would’ve been torture for him to know she was suffering and he wasn’t doing anything to help.
My eyes flash over to River. He’s smiling again, but there’s the telltale hint of tension in his eyes that I’ve learned over years of knowing him that means he’s struggling.
He wants to be happy for Ambrose, but he isn’t.
I don’t blame him. This could change everything. Ambrose isn’t even my boyfriend and I’m starting to panic, thinking about letting another omega into our lives. This pack means everything to me.
Beneath the panic, though, there’s a little bit of excitement. No, a lot of excitement.
Camille was amazing. I’d be lying if the idea of seeing her more didn’t make me ridiculously happy. Heats end, and I’m supposed to move on. It’s never been a problem before, but I don’t want to move on this time. I don’t know if I can.
How are we going to see her again? The heat clinic has a strict privacy policy for its clients and there’s no way in hell they’ll give us Camille’s contact info. I could try to steal it from Daisy’s office or hack into the system, but what if we call her and she wants nothing to do with us?
“Fuck, what are we going to do?” I’m not sure if I’m asking what this means for our pack or how we can find Cami again. My thoughts and emotions are more scrambled than the cold eggs left on my plate.
“I thought you’d be happy about adding someone to the pack,” River says evenly, his dark eyes assessing me.
“Why would I be happy?” I scoff. “When we tried before, it was a disaster! I can’t deal with that again. I can’t lose…this.” I want to say I can’t lose you, but that would be way too mushy of a thing to admit.
Ambrose sighs. “I agree. I don’t want to ruin anything. You matter to me more than anything.” He gives me a pointed look. “That includes you, Jackson. Even though you drive me crazy.”
Well, shit, I guess maybe it would’ve been okay to be mushy. It’s really nice to hear Ambrose admit that freely.
“Us staying together isn’t up for discussion. It’s a given.” River points to the bite mark on his neck, then the one on his wrist. “This means forever.” His voice is firm, but it almost sounds like he’s saying it to convince himself too.
I flex my bicep, showing off the two sets of faded bite scars. “Hell yeah it does.”
Ambrose nods, and there’s a flicker of hope in the bond.
Huh. I hadn’t realized until now that we’ve had ourselves closed off from the start of the conversation. We’re all so worried about hurting each other or messing things up that we’re not being open.
That needs to stop. Now.
I let down my guard and let my emotions flow through the bond. Worry about change. Excitement about what a scent match could mean for us if it works out. Frustration that we’re not as connected as I want us to be. Even jealousy that River and Ambrose have a bond that I don’t share with them.
“Fuck, man,” River says, eyes going wide at the deluge of feelings.
Ambrose reaches out and squeezes my arm to reassure me I’m doing the right thing, letting his barriers go as well.
His intense longing for Camille swirls together with worry about hurting River.
He’s got so much love inside him for my best friend that it makes my chest ache with the desire to have someone feel that way about me.
River grabs the older alpha’s face and kisses him tenderly, and their love burns even brighter across the bond.
Ambrose adores River. He would do anything for him, and that includes giving up his dream of a pack with an omega. Giving up his scent match.
He’s a stronger man than I could ever hope to be.
I surreptitiously wipe a tear from my eye as their lips part and give River an expectant look. “Come on. Your turn.”
He frowns, hesitating for a moment, but Ambrose levels him with his steady gaze, open and accepting of whatever his mate is feeling.
River’s emotions seep in slowly through the bond, like he’s cracking the door open and peeking his head through to make sure it’s safe. There’s a flash of worry that we’re going to be unhappy with him if he shares his true feelings.
I’m proud and relieved when he pushes through it.
River is terrified.
He’s scared that Ambrose won’t love him as much if he has an omega, yet simultaneously fearful of the pain his mate would feel if she rejected him.
He’s angry at himself for even thinking about keeping Ambrose from his scent match.
He’s afraid that the two of us will like this omega better than him, and leave him for her. Worried that she won’t like him, and we’ll stay with him, but resent him for things not working out.
He’s worried he’s not enough for anyone.
That last one hurts my heart the most. River is amazing, and it kills me that he’d ever think that.
And underneath it all, tucked so deep inside him it’s almost imperceptible, is the hope that this omega will be good for us.
That she’ll slot into our pack perfectly and we’ll be even happier.
That she’ll give me the intimacy I’m missing.
That she’ll give Ambrose someone to cherish in a way he can’t. That she’ll want him, too.
I burst out of my seat and haul my best friend into my arms. “It’s okay,” I murmur, holding him tight. River lets out a heavy, shuddering sigh and nods against my shoulder.
“Thank you for letting us in,” Ambrose says in a soothing whisper. I startle as he joins the hug, wrapping his arms around both of us as best he can. We don’t really touch much, and once I get over the surprise, I realize I like it. A lot.
Shit. I ease some of my mental barrier back into place, but not before River lets out a watery chuckle. “You’re allowed to enjoy it. It doesn’t make you gay to like hugs from your pack.”
“I know that!” I protest, even as my face grows hot.
Dolly barks, unhappy that we’re not including her in this impromptu hugging sesh.
I back away and scoop her up, letting Ambrose hold River on his own as he whispers reassurances to him.
When we all sit back down at the table—Dahlia on my lap now, doing her best to try to steal eggs off my plate—there’s a long silence. Our bonds are much calmer after the catharsis of letting go for a bit.
River speaks first. “I think we should try.” It’s clear through the bond that he means it. “We don’t know if she’ll want us, but if she reaches out, we need to try.”
“I agree.” I could elaborate on how much I liked Cami and how I think she could be a great fit, but they can already tell I’m a fan of hers.
We both turn to focus on Ambrose. He scrubs a hand over his face. “Okay.”
His solemn expression gradually melts away as we all sit with the decision.
When Ambrose speaks again, his tone is teasing.
“But if she breaks my heart, you better be ready to let my alpha treat one of you like you’re my omega, because once he gets a taste of taking care of someone, he won’t be able to stop. ”
“Not it,” River blurts.
“Wait, what? No way!” I protest. “You’re his mate!”
“Sorry, we’ve already tried it and it doesn’t work.” River shrugs as I glare at him, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “You better hope that things work out, or get comfortable calling Ambrose ‘Daddy’.”
I’m glad my bond isn’t open all the way right now because I’d never be able to live down the surge of bizarre arousal I experience at the thought of Ambrose being my daddy.
I put on an overly dramatic grimace, and the three of us burst out into laughter. It hurts my poor sore abs, but feels so good at the same time.
We’ll make it through this together, no matter what. Hopefully, with Camille along with us.
Damn, I can’t wait to see her again. She’s got to want to see us again, right?
I grin at my packmates. “So… who wants to steal her number from the clinic?”