Chapter 35
It’s fine.
Just walk over there and ask if we can have a quick chat in my office.
I do this all the time.
It’s not weird or suspicious to have an impromptu meeting with my employee.
No one will notice or care.
“Hey boss, you good?”
An overload of aftershave assaults my senses, and I realize Holden is staring at me as I linger in the open doorway to my office. I swear the annoying blonde alpha spends more time wandering around the office bothering people than doing his damn job.
No wonder DesigNation wanted to work with someone else.
I would’ve fired him outright after I received the second complaint about his sloppy work and him missing client meetings, but technically, he doesn’t work for me.
Some nepotism bullshit where he’s part of my team and I can assign him as I see fit, but he isn’t really accountable to anyone but his uncle, one of the founders of Pulse.
Holden calling me “boss” with that smarmy smile on his face is always an unsubtle reminder of how I’m not actually in control. As if his general alpha bro posturing and overloud voice he uses to drown out others wasn’t bad enough.
I give him a curt nod. “Yes.”
I stare at him, unwilling to say anything more. Our alphas have a silent standoff, me looking at him blankly, waiting for him to go back to work, and him smirking like he knows some dangerous secret about me.
He doesn’t, and eventually that false bravado deflates. It takes all my composure not to laugh when Holden chuckles and shrugs. “Alright then, talk to you later.”
I hope not. He should be doing his damn job, not bothering me.
I nod again, and watch Holden as he sheepishly makes his way back toward his office. At least the favoritism that gave him his own office means he won’t be bothering anyone else while he’s in there.
With the annoying alpha gone, the stiffness in my spine eases. I roll my shoulders and push my glasses back up my nose, trying to get back into a relaxed headspace before I go talk to Camille.
I don’t want to fuck this up. Please let her see I’m not trying to be rude. Let her understand that I don’t hate her.
After Ambrose came home from his sleepover at Camille’s place, we had a pack meeting.
Something we agreed to do after each date while the courtship is still fragile.
Details don’t need to be shared, but we have an open time to discuss any feelings that arose during the date and any worries we might have.
All of us are adamant we don’t go through the same destructive pain that previous attempts to add an omega to our pack caused.
Jackson ratted me out about the stress and jealousy he felt through the bond while we were having game night.
I pretended it was just because of Ambrose being with someone else.
Not the bizarre mix of that, plus fear that Jackson knows about my feelings for him, and futilely wishing I could be with Camille, too.
Once that was addressed, we realized these pack meetings won’t be enough.
We’ll need to have discussions where Camille is there, too.
Not that she needs to be privy to our emotional dumping sessions right away, but the sooner we try out incorporating her into casual pack time, the better we can assess if things will work.
So here I am, sweating through my shirt as I walk over to Camille’s office to invite her to a do-over of that disastrous first pack date.
My hands tremble as I round the corner and she comes into view through the glass walls.
The sight makes my gut twist, my alpha unhappy at her being on display for anyone who walks by.
Whose idea was it to have these fish tank offices with no privacy for the people working inside? How can my omega feel safe when she’s so exposed?
Not my omega. My pack’s potential omega.
I set the boundary firmly back in place and straighten my tie as I ignore my alpha’s bristling.
The door to her office is open, but I knock on it anyway, not wanting to invade her space without permission. I know better than to do that to an omega, thanks to Ambrose’s expertise.
Rick, Camille’s office mate and an all-around decent alpha, rotates in his chair to greet me, a friendly smile spreading on his face.
He’s harmless, aside from his cloying floral scent.
I hadn’t noticed it much before, but now that I’m in the space he spends all day in, it’s enough to be unpleasant.
Shit, if it’s bothering me, it has to be bothering Camille. I spy a little fan by her desk, angled to blow indirectly across her face. The breeze rustles her bouncy red curls in a way that draws my eye to the long line of her pale throat.
My cock twitches and I yank my attention back to Rick before he notices how my gaze wandered to the tempting omega sitting on the other side of the room.
“River! Good to see you. To what do I owe this pleasure?” Rick asks, still all smiles. Unlike Camille, he’s not worried I’m going to be an ass to him. We’ve talked plenty of times and have decent rapport. Enough that he uses my first name.
“Good to see you, Rick,” I say, keeping my eyes on him even as I feel Camille’s attention land on us as soon as she hears her coworker say my name. “How did Bebe’s soccer final go?”
The older alpha beams at me. “They won! It was close, but they pulled it out thanks to my girl’s defense skills.”
My smile broadens at his enthusiasm, and my chest twinges with an ache that I refuse to put a name to, because I definitely am not wondering what it would be like to have kids and experience a similar pride. “That’s amazing.”
Unable to resist looking her way any longer, I turn toward Camille. My smile falters when her brows furrow and her posture stiffens the moment my eyes land on her.
I clear my throat. “I’m here to see if you have time for a quick chat. In my office.”
God dammit, that came out way too stern.
Why can’t I be normal with her?
Camille’s expression grows even stormier. “Uh, okay. I guess I have a minute.”
Rick chuckles. “Don’t be too hard on her, boss. She just got off a call with that chode from DesigNation and then that knothead Holden was sniffing around, asking her inane questions.”
Camille’s eyes widen at his colorful language, and the alpha snorts, shrugging. “Sorry, guess I shouldn’t call my coworker a knothead.”
“Probably not,” I say, then lower my voice. “Even if he is.”
Rick lets out a loud bark of laughter and Camille stares at me like I’m some kind of alien creature. Does she really think I’m that humorless?
I try to smile at her again, willing my hands to unclench since they’ve tightened at my sides at the mention of Holden harassing her. “I promise it’s nothing bad. Just wanted to ask you some questions about, uh, the potential new merger. Get your thoughts on it.”
God, that sounded so awkward. I’m shit at this. The second she looks at me, my alpha goes haywire and I forget how to act like my nice, normal self.
Camille’s expression softens a touch as understanding sets in. “Oh! Well, as long as it’s nothing bad…”
I shake my head. “Not at all. I’m not going to punish you or anything.”
Her eyes widen and my cock twitches again. Fuck, did that sound suggestive? I didn’t mean to make it sound suggestive!
Luckily, Rick laughs again. “That’s his secret. River here is a big old softy.”
Camille quirks a brow at him. “Maybe to you.”
I could be soft for you too, angel, if things were different.
The thought and inappropriate pet name rise unbidden. Unwelcome. I can’t think like that.
I force out a laugh and incline my head toward the hall. “I’ll be in my office whenever you’re ready.”
She stands, smoothing down the pencil skirt that clings to her generous hips and thighs. “I’m free now.”
We walk in silence to my office, the sound of my hammering heartbeats drowning out the dull buzz of conversation and the click of Camille’s heels as we move through the hallway.
I want to walk slower. Walk behind her so I can get a view of her ass and legs in that tight skirt, knowing how fucking perfect the view is from watching her walk around the office countless times.
I’ve spent over a year watching Camille, my alpha aching for her and self-preservation making me stay away.
That image of her ass jiggling and flexing has shamefully starred in my thoughts as I’ve touched myself, fantasizing about grabbing the little slit at the back and tearing it up to the waist. Seeing that she has no panties on underneath and turning her ass pink for being such a dirty girl to walk around the office like that.
My cock swells at the pornographic thoughts, shame following swiftly on the heels of my arousal.
Stop it.
Stop thinking about her.
It’s wildly inappropriate, and nothing can happen.
Besides, my bond is open. Ambrose and Jackson will ask questions I refuse to answer if they feel me getting aroused at work.
I hold the door open for her when we reach my office, gritting my teeth and averting my eyes to anywhere but the curves of her body as she moves past me. Reminding myself that Camille thinks I’m an asshole.
Her discomfort at my hand sours any desire I have for her. I have no right to want her. Not after the way I’ve behaved.
“Thanks for agreeing to talk,” I say, taking my seat behind my desk as she delicately arranges herself in the chair on the other side. I don’t look when she crosses her legs, even though I know it’ll give me a view of her thick, creamy thighs.
Camille flashes a weak smile. “No problem. This… How did you put it? This merger is important to me.”
Heat floods my cheeks at the reminder of my feeble obfuscation of the subject of our talk. “Yes. Good. Same.”
Her eyes narrow slightly, searching my face in my moment of awkwardness. Can she see how hard it is for me to keep my alpha in check? Or does it still look like I hate her?
I’m not sure which option is worse.
I swallow hard and force the question out so I can get this one-on-one moment with Camille over as quickly as possible. “Are you free this weekend? We’d like a do-over.”
Her eyes widen. Clearly, that wasn’t what she was expecting.
I barrel forward. “Well, actually, I want a do-over. I’m embarrassed by my behavior last time. Things seem to be going very well with you and Ambrose and Jackson. I’d like to have the chance to show you it can work when we’re all…together.”
A small flush forms on Camille’s cheeks. Crap, that sounded like I meant together as in, all of us fucking.
“Not together like that! Like a pack. A platonic pack night. Or at least platonic from my end. Whatever you get up to with the others is a different story. You can stay the night with them and I won’t mind.”
Stop babbling!
I clear my throat. “A pack night,” I repeat, setting my face into what I hope is a neutral expression and not one that shows how nervous I am.
Her brows pinch together. “Are you sure? You seem uncomfortable about this.”
I am. But not in the way she thinks.
This would be so much simpler if I could admit how she makes me feel. That’d be incredibly selfish, considering I’m her boss and there’s nothing we can do about those feelings unless one of us quits, so I don’t correct her.
“Discomfort is part of the process. My happiness at how much joy you’ve already given Ambrose and Jackson far outweighs the awkwardness.”
I can tell she’s not convinced, so I decide to give her a kernel of my truth.
“I like you, Camille. I want this to work, not as some self-sacrificing nonsense, but because you’d be a great addition to our pack.
” I sigh, running a hand through my hair when I see there’s still a hint of skepticism in Camille’s shrewd gaze.
“I’ve been an ass and you have no reason to trust me when I say that, but it’s true.
Please give me a chance to show you I can be tolerable. ”
A ginger eyebrow arches at me. “Just tolerable?”
I shrug. “Better to set expectations low. That way, when I exceed them, it’ll be a pleasant surprise for us both.”
That earns a laugh from her, the bubbly sound of it seeping into my veins and making me giddy. I grin back at her before I realize that I’ve let my guard down.
Her gaze softens and she nods. “Alright. It’s a date. But only if you promise me I’ll get to see you smile like that more often.”
My cheeks burn, knowing she likes my smile and that it’s rare enough around her to be notable. It’s a struggle to not let self-consciousness wipe it away, but I keep my defenses down. I can’t give Camille much, but if my smile makes her happy, then it’s hers.
“I look forward to it.” I pause for a moment, and then cling to this new, tentative thread of connection. “Would it be alright if I texted you to work out the details?”
Camille’s eyes drop from mine for a moment, and I worry she’s going to say no. When she looks back up, there’s a shy smile on her lips. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
You’d think she’d confessed her unbridled passion for me with how my alpha roars with excitement inside me. I clear my throat to cover the purr threatening to spill out, and nod. “Okay.”
When she heads back to her desk, I slump in my chair with a low groan, knowing I’ll spend the rest of the day distracted and struggling to wait for a socially acceptable amount of time to pass before I text Camille.