Chapter 19 #2
My chest seizes, and the truth of his words washes over me as he gazes down into my eyes with breathtaking conviction. I expect him to kiss me, and sweep me away with his touch, my breath hitching as his face moves closer to mine.
“So get your head out of your ass and accept it.” He places a quick peck on my cheek and steps back, leaving me gaping at him.
“Wow, rude,” I say weakly, a smile spreading across my lips.
He laughs and goes back over to the stove. “I don’t have to be nice. I’m not an alpha that needs to coddle you, omega. Now, get back to work.”
I wipe away my tears and relax into helping him prepare breakfast. The activity and following his directions settle the tension and guilt inside me.
I ask him about how Dolly is doing, and he tells me about how the vet acted like he was nuts for bringing her in last night.
I tease him about the painting, and he jokes back that he’d be happy to do another portrait, but I’d need to sit for it nude.
We’ll need to have a serious conversation at some point, but neither of us is in a rush because it feels so good just to talk to him and be in his sunny presence again.
When Ambrose and River appear in the kitchen, sleep mussed and awakened by the smell of coffee and French toast, some of the tension inside me threatens to well back up, but Jackson squeezes my hand in reassurance.
Both alphas look almost surprised that I’m still here, sleepy smiles spreading onto their faces as a sheepish one rises on my lips, knowing I tried to leave.
“Morning.” My greeting sounds as awkward as I feel.
“Good morning.” River isn’t faring much better based on his stiff posture, though he’s smiling at me.
Ambrose squeezes his mate’s arm, then moves over to me, pulling me into a hug and letting out a soft, contented sigh. “Morning, sweetheart.”
I melt against him as his scent washes over me, and when he steps back, River comes closer. He’s rigid as he leans down to kiss my cheek, clearly uncomfortable, and alarm bells go off in my head.
His eyes widen, and he grimaces. “It’s not you.”
Shit, I forgot he can feel my reactions to things through the bond. Now I feel even more awkward.
A flush blooms on his cheeks. “I, uh, overdid it last night and I’m paying the price.”
“Oh!” I feel like a jerk for forgetting about his chronic pain. “I’m sorry about that.”
River shakes his head and lets out a low chuckle. “I’m not. It was more than worth it.”
My cheeks heat, and the tattooed alpha’s smile broadens at my reaction, making my stomach flutter at how handsome he is.
Ambrose frowns in concern. “I’ll get you a gummy.”
“No, I’m…” River sighs, swallowing down his protest. “Thank you, babe.”
Surprise flickers across Ambrose’s face, who clearly was expecting more of a fight. He smiles and nods. “I’ll give you a massage after breakfast.”
River’s eyes soften with gratitude. “That would be great.”
I don’t miss the glance Ambrose and Jackson exchange. He must not usually accept help, which isn’t shocking in the least. River acted allergic to being vulnerable in the past.
He’s changing. He’s trying. If he can do that, maybe I can too.
A lump forms in my throat.
“I want to try,” I whisper.
All three of their gazes snap to me. No one speaks, but the anticipation thrumming through the air is palpable.
“I can’t dive back in headfirst, and we have a lot we need to work through. I need some time to process this. But I want to try again.”
As I speak, the weight on my chest eases.
I’m tired of running. I don’t want to be at war with my omega anymore, because as Jackson reminded me, we’re the same person. What I need is what she needs. It’ll take time for me to accept that, but I need to try or I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
River nods. “Take as much time as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
Jackson huffs. “You better not. Camille knows I’m not afraid to get a little stabby if you do.”
River’s eyes widen. “What?”
Jackson ignores him and grins at me. “Whatever you need, Cami. You know I love to take my time.”
I roll my eyes at him, but smile.
Ambrose shakes his head at the beta’s innuendo. “We’re all here for you. Thank you for trying.” Despite his words, his smile seems tense.
Does he not want to wait? I didn’t think Ambrose would mind, but maybe I was wrong.
“Okay.”
The older alpha moves closer, concern etched on his brow because apparently he can read me like a book even without a bond.
“I’ll give you all the time in the world, sweetheart.
I just worry about what might happen if you have more heat spikes.
I don’t want you to feel pressured to do more than you’re ready for, like what happened last night.
But I also want to take care of you. We all do. ”
“Oh.” Guess the tests didn’t have promising results. Shit.
Fear that Ambrose and River are doing this out of obligation rears its ugly head. “I don’t want to pressure you either. I know it must be hard to deal with my being cautious one moment, and begging for you the next. I don’t want you to feel like you have to—”
“We don’t,” River says, cutting me off.
“We want to help,” Ambrose adds. “Not because we’re alphas, but because we care about you.”
Jackson places a hand on my shoulder. “Told you.”
I release a weak laugh. “Alright.”
There’s a long moment of silence, which Jackson eventually breaks by clapping his hands together. “Well, don’t just stand around. Let’s eat before the food gets cold.”