Chapter 28
Every time I knock on the door to Camille’s apartment, there’s a jolt of anticipation in my gut.
I’ve spent multiple evenings over the past few weeks keeping her company, but it hasn’t gone away.
The only thing similar I’ve experienced in my life is when River and I were first dating.
It’s the feeling of being on the precipice of something extraordinary and worrying that I’m going to fumble it the second they see me and I open my mouth.
God, I remember the first months of going out with River, and I’m not sure how I survived the nerves.
I didn’t understand why this handsome, significantly younger alpha would want anything to do with me.
I didn’t know how to approach a relationship with an alpha or a man.
He told me much later that he was too anxious himself to notice that I was anything but calm and caring, so I’ve tried to remind myself of that with Camille.
Chances are, she’s inside her apartment right now, nervous about seeing me and how tonight will go.
The door swings open and my stomach swoops, muscles tensing for a split-second as my mind conjures an image of a Camille who isn’t pleased to see me. But it’s thankfully replaced by the real, smiling woman before me.
“Hey!” She steps toward me, pressing a kiss to my cheek, and I suck in a lungful of her scent, the coffee going straight to my veins. And my cock.
That’s the other thing about seeing Camille—I get hard at the slightest provocation, like back when I was a recently revealed alpha.
I wouldn’t care, but I hate the thought of it making her uncomfortable.
She doesn’t need me poking her with my erection every time we hug.
She doesn’t need that pressure from me or for it to seem like I expect her to do something about it. We’re still very much taking it slow.
“Hey sweetheart,” I murmur, smiling as she pulls away, subtly scent marking me.
A flush rises on her cheeks, and she steps back out of the threshold to make space for me. “Come on in. I have a few things I need to grab before we head out.”
“Anything I can help with?” I will my eyes not to drop from her face even though the glimpse I got of the tight dress she’s wearing when she opened the door really makes me want to look.
“No, but thanks,” she says, a hint of sheepishness in her smile. “Sorry I wasn’t ready when you got here. Lauren insisted on driving me home, and then when we got here she wanted to chat for a bit.”
I nod, appreciating that her friend didn’t let her walk home on her own.
It’s been a few weeks since Camille was followed, and she told River he doesn’t need to walk her home every day, but none of us like the thought of her doing it alone.
I’m glad she’s not as scared now, and understand she needs to be able to live her life without us hovering, but that doesn’t make it any easier for my alpha to accept.
River hates it, too, and Jackson would be following her around like a hidden bodyguard if he weren’t so busy at work.
The beta has been more protective of her since they had an impromptu date last week. It’s clear a lot must’ve happened that night, but he refuses to give us details beyond the fact that they were intimate and are in “a really good place.”
I expected Jackson to gloat about getting closer to Camille again, but he didn’t.
Instead, he’s been giving me odd looks, which are followed by his shutting off his end of the bond.
I thought we’d gotten closer and more comfortable with each other over the months when it was only the two of us, and it stings to have that barrier erected all of a sudden.
I’ve convinced myself that he doesn’t want to make me feel bad or jealous and is going about it in an awkward way. If he keeps it up, we’re going to have a talk, because I can’t handle another member of the pack closing off and trying to manage my emotions for me.
“Not a problem at all, take your time,” I reassure Camille.
We’re going back to the house for a movie night, so there’s no rush. I would’ve been happy to watch a movie here, but Camille said she needed to get out of her apartment.
Tonight is unofficially our first courting date since we’ve started seeing each other again.
Jackson’s parents are in town, so he’s having dinner with them, and River is finishing boxing up the stuff at his apartment, so it’ll just be me and Camille.
I offered to take her to dinner or see a movie in a theater, or do anything her heart desires, but she picked this.
She smiles and kisses my cheek. “I’ll be right back.”
Camille heads toward the back of her apartment, and I shamelessly stare at her peachy ass as she walks away.
Goddamn, I want to follow her into her nest and bury my face between her thick thighs.
My alpha is riding me so hard that I have to swallow down a growl of desire.
I need to wait for her to tell me she’s ready for more.
I refuse to break the trust she put in me to go at her pace by stalking her into her nest and begging her to let me ravish her.
While she’s out of sight, I tuck my stiff cock into the waistband of my pants, and splash some cold water on my face. When I’m a little more in control of my urges, I head over to the couch to wait, and notice a glossy brochure sitting on her coffee table.
Intrigued by the sunset beach vista on the cover, I pick it up, but don’t have time to examine it further, because she’s already returned, an oversized tote slung over her shoulder.
“Okay, I think I’m ready.” She looks a little winded by how quickly she gathered whatever she needed up. I want to ask what’s in the bag, but she’ll tell me if and when she wants to.
“Thinking of going on a vacation?” I ask, holding up the brochure.
“Oh! Uh, no. It’s something Lauren wants me to do. One of our clients does these omega retreats, and they invited us.”
I glance at the brochure and flip it open, scanning over the list of activities and offerings. “This looks amazing. Though if you want daily massages, you know I’d be happy to take care of that.” I’d be happy to take care of anything she could possibly need.
A shy smile curves her lips. “That’s sweet of you to offer.”
“Trust me, sweetheart, I’m not being sweet.”
The flush on her cheeks deepens as her perfume fills the air. She clears her throat and shakes her head. “I don’t think I’m going to go.”
I tilt my head, curious. “Why not?”
“It’s too…” She sighs as she tries to come up with the right words to explain. “It’s for embracing your inner omega and channeling that power, and I’m not at that level. I’m still trying to adjust to this new life. I’d be out of place and out of my depth.”
“It sounds like it could be really great for you. You haven’t given yourself space to explore your omega and those needs.”
She sighs again, and I worry I’ve overstepped. “I know, but I don’t know if I have time to go. And I don’t want to go away while we’re trying to…”
“There’s no deadline for our courtship. Don’t factor us into the decision.
If you truly think it’ll be too upsetting or a waste of time, then don’t go.
But if going to this retreat could let you adjust and figure out your relationship with your omega instincts, we’d all want you to take the time for that.
What matters most is your comfort and happiness. ”
Her brow furrows. “That’s not fair. Your happiness matters as much as mine.”
I set the brochure down and stand, moving over to her and wrapping an arm around her waist. “Your happiness is my happiness, Camille. Same goes for the rest of the pack.”
Her eyelashes flutter as she gazes up at me. “I have a really hard time accepting that’s true. I don’t want you all to resent me,” she confesses, barely more than a whisper.
“I know, sweetheart. I’ll remind you how wrong you are whenever you need me to.”
She releases a shaky laugh. “Okay, okay.”
“Can I kiss you now?” My voice is raspy, her nearness making it hard for me to think of anything but putting my lips on hers.
“You don’t have to ask,” she murmurs, closing the distance between us until her lips brush against mine.
I groan against her mouth, my alpha’s need flaring bright at her words. “You can’t say that, baby girl. I need you to tell me I’m going too fast or my alpha will use that as permission to fuck you right here over the back of the couch.”
Camille’s breath hitches. “I…I think I’m ready for that. If you want.”
A deep chuckle rumbles out of me. “Sweetheart, I want it every moment I’m with you. You make me into a base creature who wants to fuck and claim you over and over.” My fingers sink into the plush flesh of her hips, rocking my hips forward to let her feel how hard I am.
“Yeah?” The question is somehow both innocent and filthy in her breathy voice.
“Yeah,” I rasp, kissing her again, letting my tongue plunge into her mouth to show her how ravenous I am.
She’s panting when I pull back, her pupils blown wide and perfume saturating the air between us. I nip at her lower lip, calling on all my willpower to draw back and give her a smile. “If we start now, we won’t ever leave.”
She giggles. “True.”
I squeeze her hip once and let go, reaching out to slide to tote bag off of her shoulder. I grunt at the surprising weight. “What’s in here? Rocks?”
Camille shakes her head, amused. “Not rocks. Though the bone is as heavy and solid as one.”
“Bone?”
“For Dolly.” She smiles shyly. “I have some presents for her. And for the rest of the pack. I hope that’s not weird.”
I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest at her unexpected words. “Not weird at all, but you’re making it even harder not to ravish you.”
“Don’t get too excited,” she says, shaking her head at me.
“Too late,” I laugh.
“Seriously, they’re not a big deal. Just small things that made me think of you.”