31
Buzz
I'm curled up on the coach, nursing my second cup of coffee and watching the snow fall outside, reflecting on last night.
Despite not coming myself—heck, despite neither of us getting all the way naked—it was the single hottest sexual experience of my life. There's something about not having seen Court fully naked that is such a turn-on.
Not because I don't want to see him fully naked at some stage, but I've always liked leaving something to the imagination. My love of the underwear section of shop catalogs extended into not ever really getting into hardcore porn as a grown man. Once you see it all, it's game over. But until then, the anticipation and buildup is nothing short of delicious.
I take a slow sip and let the warmth of the mug seep into my fingers.
But we did cross a line last night. A pretty major one. And I pray it hasn't damaged our friendship.
The door to Court's room clicks open, then footsteps pad across the hall, and the bathroom door closes. The toilet flushes, the shower starts, and caffeine swirls with nerves in my belly.
Outside the window, the snow intensifies. Perfect stay-at-home-all-day weather. I've got the day off, and Court's not working until the afternoon, so I guess once he finishes showering, we can sit down and talk.
Twenty-five excruciatingly long minutes later—after the world's longest shower—we're finally doing just that.
Court is dressed in an old college sweatshirt and plaid lounge pants, coffee in hand, while I'm on my third of the morning. I switched to decaf since my nerves are already upsetting my stomach.
"So…"
he begins, eyeing me over the rim of his mug from the other end of the sofa.
"Last night was fun."
"It was?"
"Yeah. I enjoyed it. I mean, I haven't masturbated like that since I was in junior high, but…you seemed to like it."
I give a quick nod. "I did."
He studies me in silence for a while. He's got his socked feet on the couch and is angled to face me. My bare feet are planted on the ground, my attention split between him and the snowfall.
"So what's wrong, Buzz?"
"Nothing"
rushes out of me a little too quickly.
"I just…"
I shake my head and stare out the almost white window.
The couch dips slightly as Court settles beside me, his hand resting on my bouncing knee. Shit. I hadn't even noticed I was doing that.
"Do you regret what we did?"
"Not at all."
"Any negative thoughts or feelings about anything that’s happened over the past few days?"
"None. Just…"
I pull my gaze from the window and turn to him.
"I don't want it to mess things up between us."
"It won't. It hasn't changed anything for me. Apart from finally letting you know I think you're hot."
"And that's not weird? It doesn't make you uncomfortable? It doesn't change things?"
"No, no, and yes."
When I stare at him blankly, he puts his cup on the coffee table and takes both of my hands in both of his.
"No, it's not weird. No, it doesn't make me uncomfortable. And yes, it does change things a little. Not going to lie, we've told each other something new, and we've done something we've never done before. That does change things, but who says that has to be a bad thing?"
"What do you mean?"
"I liked what we did. Did you?"
"Yeah."
"I'd like to do it again, possibly adding a few more things into the mix. Would you?"
"Yes."
"So, if we're both into each other and open to doing more stuff, what's the harm in adding benefits to our friendship? At least until I leave. What do you say?"
His eyes bore into mine. He's saying all the things I want to hear because I don't for a second regret what we did last night, and I would love to do more stuff with him. So if he's not worried about this affecting our friendship negatively, maybe I need to let it go?
"All right,"
I say, a rush of heat shooting through my chest.
"Let's do it. Let's be friends with benefits."
He grins.
"Technically, we'd be husbands with benefits, but yeah, I am totally on board."