Chapter 4
Ididn’t see Mr. Moore after my declaration of quitting if he fired Sam, and by the end of the day we both still had jobs to return to tomorrow, so I guess he took my threat seriously. Meanwhile, I stormed out of his office on shaky legs and prayed to Mother Earth I could avoid him for the foreseeable future.
“So, wait. You told your boss—your apparently hotter than sex on legs boss—that you’d quit if Sam left?”
I groan and shove my head in my hands as my best friend Gia’s face fills with amusement. Her brown eyes sparkle as she throws the rest of her Mimosa back, casually setting the glass on the counter in my apartment. It doesn’t matter that it’s seven o’clock in the evening. Gia will drink a Mimosa at any hour of the day.
“Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say…”
She snorts, a slight shake to her head as she leans forward, her weight resting on her forearms as a smirk forms on her lips. “Probably not, but I fucking love that you did.”
My other best friend came over after I frantically called her after work today, wanting to spill the latest tea on our new boss while simultaneously freaking out over whether I’ll have a job or not by the end of the week. It isn’t like me to typically be so direct when it comes to standing up for myself, but I couldn’t help myself when Mr. Moore planned on firing Sam. From a piece of paper.
The idea of being alone in a place I didn’t necessarily enjoy being in most days stressed me out far more than what felt necessary, and losing my lifeline felt critical to my sanity, so of course, I defended him. I know if roles were reversed, he’d do the same for me.
After the encounter with Mr. Moore, Sam was naturally the first person I ran to. I nearly flew into office, crumbled into the chair across from his desk, and began filling him on the conversation I had minutes prior. And, most importantly, how I acted in a state of panic. It took longer than necessary to calm the trembling in my hands, even after I was long gone from the office. But I couldn’t help being so direct, and truthfully, I barely remember any of it. One minute I was aware of everything around me, and the next, it was like I completely blacked out and was threatening to quit. The surprised look on Mr. Moore’s face as I stood up to him made something coil tight in my stomach and put me at enough ease to where I felt comfortable enough to speak out and for my friend.
It’s unlike me to act unprofessional, but my anxiety got the best of me and I reacted on impulse. My friends knew that unless provoked, I wouldn’t defend somebody outwardly because I tend to shut down during confrontation. I can’t handle it.
“I should just resign,” I grumble. “I can’t believe I did that. Me.” I point to myself, still somewhat shocked. “The girl with more anxiety than she knows what to deal with.”
Gia snorts, dropping her head to her chest with a small smile. “Yes, you did do that. But,” she says as she lifts her head to look at me, “you’re not resigning.”
“You’re missing the part where I said I stood up to my boss,” I say, folding my arms across my chest. “And yes, I am resigning.”
Gia smirks. “Oh, I didn’t miss it. That was my favorite part of the whole story.”
My face scrunches. “Are you insane? I literally threatened to quit if Mr. Moore fired Sam. That’s—“ I shake my head in disbelief. “I don’t know what that is.”
“It’s you standing up for your friend,” Gia replies. “And there’s nothing wrong with it. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, Daise. Anybody would’ve done it.”
“Somehow, I doubt that.”
She rolls her eyes and waves me off. “You’re always so hard on yourself. If anything, Mr. Moore probably liked the assertiveness.”
I blink at her. “Are we talking about the same person here?”
She nods. “We are. But I stand by what I said—you’re not quitting. He probably had it coming, anyway. Men like him need to be knocked down a few notches every so often.”
I groan despite her being right. She”d know all about entitled men in positions of power, seeing as her boss is one.
“He’s definitely going to fire me,” I say, adjusting my hand to rest under my chin.
“Or,” Gia begins, a glint in her eye. “He’s going to become infatuated with you. Men love a girl who takes charge.”
My eyes nearly bug out of my head. “Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“Yes,” she nods once as if she doesn’t need any further confirmation. “I’m talking to Daisy Motherfucking Adams, that’s who.”
I smirk. “Daisy Motherfucking Adams? Do you know my middle name?”
“Do you know mine?” she challenges, a grin spreading across her face.
“Yes,” I say confidently. “It’s Rose.”
Her face falls while she tries recollecting when she would’ve disclosed that information, and I force myself to not laugh. Gia and I shared a few of the same classes together during college, which is how I became friends with her. Since the first day knowing her, she’s always been forgetful. It’s never intentional, but she’s been dealing with a lot of family stuff with her mom being sick, so I’ve never blamed her. Plus, most of the things she forgets about are irrelevant, anyway. If anybody needed Gia in a dire situation, she’d show up without batting an eye.
“You win that round,” she says. “What’s your middle name again?”
I roll my eyes dramatically. “We’ve been friends for how long, and you don’t know my middle name? It’s Mae.”
“Oh,” Gia exclaims, nodding like she suddenly remembered that. “After your aunt, right?”
I nod once, a soft smile on my face. Although my family is small, there were a few people in my life I grew up close to. Aunt Mae was one of the few my parents allowed my siblings and me to spend time with, and she was the sweetest lady anybody could ever meet. So soft-spoken and so beautiful even in her old age. Every time she and my uncle visited, she’d have a candy bag for all of us. We lost her a few years ago to kidney failure, and a lingering sadness always hits me knowing that I never got the chance to say goodbye. She lived back in Colorado where I’m from, and I was never comfortable enough to visit when she got sick due to my strained relationship with my family.
If I was in the same state as my family without visiting, I’d get texts and calls about how shitty of a daughter I am for prioritizing somebody other than them. I gave up trying to have a relationship with my family shortly after moving here but it felt too debilitating going home, so I never did.
It hurt when my aunt passed, but I know a part of her is always with me.
“It was my Dad’s idea, yeah,” I say, leaning back in my bar stool. “But,” I say, wanting to get off this topic as quickly as possible, “I won’t give you too much shit for forgetting your best friend’s name.”
Gia sticks her tongue out before spinning around to pull the fridge open. Grabbing the carton of orange juice I leave in there for her and her odd nightly beverage choices, and she faces forward again. “How is your dad, by the way?”
I smile. “He’s good. Just got a promotion at work, so he’s been busy.”
Gia smiles genuinely. She and my dad had the pleasure of meeting a few times when he visited Boston. He still lives in Colorado despite my numerous attempts at getting him to move closer. Out of everybody in my family, I’ve always been closest to him.
He and my mom divorced when my siblings and I were young, and we spent the better halves of our lives trying to rebuild what mom took from us—which was him. As much as I love my dad, it’s hard not being close to him in both the parental aspect and distance-wise. We’re still two people with our own separate lives, and the missed time as a result of my mom’s actions led us to drift apart. Because I’m not usually willing to visit home, we don’t have the greatest relationship. We talk maybe once a month—maybe every two, if we have time. It sucks because I want that relationship with him, but I’m okay with where things are at because it’s never felt different than what I know.
“And what about you?” Gia asks. “Are you good?”
I contemplate for a moment before bobbing my head side to side. “I’m…okay. Managing, if that makes sense? With all of the changes at work, it’s stressful. A lot of people got let go today, and I’m nervous that more cuts will come with time. I guess we’re hurting financially.”
Gia frowns, pouring champagne into her glass before topping it off with orange juice. “I truly don’t think he’d fire you. Especially after he decided to keep Sam.”
“If he knows what’s good for him, he won’t fire either of us,” I frown. “I kind of need the money.”
“Don’t we all,” she mumbles, pulling the glass to her lips.
“How’re things going with the boss from hell?” I ask, leaning back and crossing my arms over my chest. “Beckett still giving you a hard time?”
Gia rolls her eyes so hard I’m half convinced they’ll get stuck behind her lids. “That man gives me a headache nearly every day. Even when I’m not working, he still gives me a headache.”
Like me, Gia works in a finance firm. Technically, Moore Enterprises’s competitor. The CEO, Beckett Levinston, caught wind of Gia’s talent from a recruiter and offered her a job on the spot, paying her an assload of money that made both of us topple over. She claims to hates it there but I’m curious if there’s more going on than what she’s letting on. Gia tends to be more reserved than I am with her relationships, but I can’t help notice how frequently she’s willing to drop what she’s doing to help her boss.
I roll my eyes. “These rich men and their sense of entitlement are enough to make me want to tie cinderblocks to my ankles and throw myself into the river.”
She sighs, running a hand through her brunette hair. “I’ll join you at this point. He’s having me do the dumbest things that will only drive sales away. The man can’t take no for an answer. Even when his logic makes zero fucking sense.”
“Well,” I say. “If anybody can knock a man into place, it’s you, Gia.”
She grins at that. “You’re damn right I can.”
I smile sheepishly after a moment. “Beckett is pretty handsome, though…”
“Don’t even start with that bullshit,” she says incredulously, pointing at me. “He’s the worst human being on the planet, I swear to God.”
“Okay, fine,” I wave. “He’s the worst person on the planet, and he’s handsome. He probably is giving you extra work so he can spend more time with you.”
Her eyes widen. “Beckett?! My boss? No,” she shakes her head in disbelief. “That man is the devil reincarnated. I swear, Daisy.”
I shrug, a smile still tugging at my lips. “Don’t you like them a little…eccentric?”
Gia looks like she’s about to rip out her hair. “Beckett is a whole different level of eccentric.”
“Still would make cute babies, though.”
“Daisy!” she throws an orange peel at me—where she got it from, I don’t know, but I laugh regardless. Working Gia up over her boss is one of my favorite pastimes, only because I think she has a small crush on him deep down somewhere. I don’t blame her—the man ages like a fine wine. From what I hear, his brother isn”t bad to look at, either.
The two of us chat for an hour longer before we call it a night, agreeing to hang out again by the end of the week because we’re codependent and can’t go longer than three days without the other. I’ve always felt comfortable with Gia in a way I don’t feel often with people. She’s shown me love time and time again, even when I’ve felt too much or not enough, and I hope, more than anything, I provide that same feeling of friendship for her.
“Let’s go out this weekend,” she says, slipping into her black and white checkered Vans. “Me, you, and Sam. It’s been a while since all of us had a night out on the town.”
I stare at her, which causes her to roll her eyes again.
“Daise, you can’t sit inside all the time. You need to get out and explore the world. Explore men,” she wriggles her eyebrows suggestively, which causes me to blanch.
“I’d rather crawl into a hole and die.”
She waves me away, ignoring everything I just said. “Tell Sam nine on Friday works for me. And I’ll know if you didn’t tell him since we’re in a group chat together.”
I sigh, resting a hand on my hip. “A bar on a Friday night sounds like my worst nightmare.”
She smirks, pulling the door open. “I’m not letting you get out of this, Daisy. You’ve bailed on nights out one too many times, so you can save it. Unless you’re in a near-death situation, there’s nothing you can do to get out of this. I won’t take no for an answer.”
“But…people…”
“People can suck my dick,” Gia says. “We’re going to go out, have ourselves a merry old time, sing karaoke, and fuck whoever takes us home. We deserve this. You deserve this.”
I roll my eyes. “This sounds like a pep talk I don’t wanna have.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “I’ll see you Friday. Love you!” She quickly rushes out the door, closing it before I can protest further. Fighting with Gia is like talking to a brick wall—it doesn’t work. I’ll accept the fate, knowing I’m free from any social outing for at least a month if I go out Friday. And for my best friends, I can make the sacrifice for a few hours despite my body already crawling with anxiety.
I lock the door before walking back to the counter, my phone vibrating, causing me to check the notification.
A message to the group chat from Gia: “Sup, bitches. We’re going out on Friday at 9p. I know damn well Daisy won’t say anything, so let’s plan to meet at our local spot! Love you both!”
I can’t help but smile. I knew the minute she walked out of my apartment, she’d text the chat. She’s also right—I would’ve avoided bringing the sudden plans up to Sam until the last possible minute, knowing damn well he would’ve bailed on any plans he might’ve had if it meant seeing me out in public. Both he and Gia give me shit often because I am a hermit in the highest sense possible.
Sam”s response to Gia comes in almost instantly.
I’m in, ladies! See y’all then, and Daisy, I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early!
Setting the phone back on the counter, the smile doesn’t leave my face as I walk through my living room, grabbing the television remote to turn on some instrumental music before reaching for my sketch pad from the coffee table. I make my way over to the window ledge that shows off the Boston skyline and perch on it, crossing my legs underneath the other.
I’ve lived here for five years, and nothing compares to the nightlife. But I don’t mean the bar scenes; I mean the way the skyline all lights up at once and displays every beautiful building in the city. With the temperatures cooling down significantly at night, the fog lingers around the skyscrapers, making for some of the prettiest artwork. That, and if you squint in the far distance, a star or two can be spotted. Maybe even the moon on a rare night. But if you want to see it clearly, you have to go up the coast a little ways. I’ve always preferred darkness to light; it’s solitude, a comfort I always search for within myself and the spaces I take up. My creativity awakens when the world is lulled to sleep, and some of my favorite pieces come out onto my pages or easel, depending on the medium I choose.
During the night, I remind myself of what I’m grateful for and who I have—only a few people that I haven’t had prior to this lifetime, but enough to make my little life feel almost whole. Although I’m content being single, sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find somebody who truly understands me on the deepest level of the sense. Somebody who doesn’t shy away from my ability to be overly affectionate and open. It’s hard for me to show vulnerabilities because I’ve never been taught how. Although I don’t talk to my family, they truly made me feel as if I was hard to love. And I don’t think that was ever the intention; my parents never worked out the shit they’d gone through before having kids and we all suffered as a result.
It’s nearing four in the morning by the time I set my sketchpad down, stretching my arms overhead and bending side to side—a small groan-yawn escapes from my lips. Forcing myself to stand, I walk through the living room, turning off the music playing on a loop before making my way into my bedroom, skipping my nightly routine because I have to be up in three hours to get ready for work. The moment my head hits the pillow, my body relaxes against the mattress, and I fall into a dreamless sleep.