Chapter 24
“Are we friends?”
My gaze flicks up from the spreadsheet I was looking over on my computer when my favorite raspy voice filters through my office. Daisy stands in the doorway with her arms relaxed at her sides, but there’s a wariness in her gaze that has me standing before I have much time to think about it. Walking around the edge of my desk, I lean against the front of it and fold my arms across my chest, nodding at her to close the door behind her.
When she turns around, my gaze quickly drops to the curves of her hips, the swell of her plump ass, and I wonder what it’d be like to have her fully as mine. To see every bare inch of her, hold her in my arms, and be lucky enough to claim her.
She turns at the same time my gaze lifts, a slight blush tinting across her pretty face when she realizes she caught me checking her out, but she still takes a step forward. Pauses. Then, another step. I bite back my grin.
“So,” she asks nervously, rubbing her palms against her thighs. “Are we?”
“You look beautiful today,” I offer, which causes her jaw to unhinge in pure shock. “But yes Daisy, we’re friends.”
She takes a minute to process the whole conversation before she regains composure, taking another step forward like she’s coming in here with things she wants to say but doesn’t know how to get them off her chest.
“I don’t know how to be friends with people,” she admits softly, keeping her gaze focused on everything else but me. “I don’t…like getting close to people. Nothing significantly traumatic has happened in my life to make me this way—at least I don’t think so, anyway—but I…” she trails off, glancing away as if she’s lost in thought. She shakes her head and looks at me with guilt in her eyes, a sadness filling them that immediately makes me want to pull her into my arms and fix whatever she’s battling internally. “I didn’t mean to freak out and leave on Monday. I just…you…” she pauses again, and there’s a type of exhaustion filling her face that reminds me of somebody who has, in fact, gone through significant trauma in their lives to be so guarded.
“I don’t know how to be friends with you,” she says finally, almost dejected. My hand twitches to reach for her, but I keep them crossed over my chest to avoid doing something that’ll only freak her out more. With Daisy, I need to take my time, and I want to give her everything she needs in order to make her feel comfortable opening up.
I appreciate the honesty and can only imagine how hard it is for her to be vulnerable with somebody she barely knows. Daisy may not think anything significant in her life causes her to be so wary of expressing herself and getting close to people, but she makes comments every so often that make me believe otherwise. While I can understand that to some extent, that honesty still hurts.
I don’t want to say anything that may scare her off, but I don’t want to hide how I’m feeling forever, either.
“There isn’t a right or wrong way to be friends with someone,” I say, shifting to cross an ankle over the other. Her gaze tracks the movement before slowly trailing up the expense of my body. There’s nothing sexual about it, yet my dick twitches against my zipper, and I have to, yet again, shift my body. She doesn’t seem to notice my semi-hard, and if she does, she doesn’t say anything about it, so I drop my shoulders in relief.
“And besides,” I continue, unfolding my arms to shove my hands in my pockets. “You’re not entitled to be friends with me. If you decide you don’t want to, then you can walk away.”
Her eyes volley between mine, a subtle head shake as if she’s trying to wrap her mind around my response. Her lips twist to the side in contemplation before popping open, and fuck—I’ve never noticed how pretty her lips are. There’s a pink-stained gloss over them, and for the briefest moment, I allow myself to imagine what it’d be like having those lips wrapped around my—
“It’s not that I don’t want to be friends…” he nose crinkles up at the word. “But I’m worried that once you get to know me, it’ll deter you.”
My brows furrow as I wrap my head around what she’s saying. “Why…what do you mean?”
“Oh, nothing,” she waves me off casually, the conversation already becoming too intimate for her. I force myself to remain calm despite the instant irritation tugging in my gut. I don’t fault Daisy for her insecurities, but the lack of trust in me is annoying. I’m trying to remind myself that it isn’t necessarily about me and rather whatever she’s gone through, but I selfishly wish she’d lean into me.
“I can be a lot, sometimes.”
I blink, coming back into the conversation despite my irritation, and take the opportunity to really look at her. She doesn’t say this with any sort of anger or resentment, but rather like it’s a true statement she’s accepted. I hate when she downplays herself because what she says about herself simply isn’t true. But at the same time, I don’t entirely believe she actually thinks she’s a lot. It almost seems like those were words conditioned in her brain at a young age and nobody has bothered to correct her.
“If anybody says you’re too much for them, Daisy Girl,” I say finally, “you should re-evaluate who you allow into your life.” She opens her mouth to protest, but I hold my hand up to continue talking. “You’re not a lot, and I’m sorry if people made you believe that. You’re enough for the right people, and I hope you learn to be kinder to yourself.”
Shock weaves its way on her face again, but instead of fully letting it show, she schools her features. I, however, don’t break away from looking at her—how anybody could is beyond me—and watch her process in her head.
“Thank you,” she says softly. The silence between us is prevalent, but not uncomfortable. After a moment, she glances around quickly as if she doesn’t know what to do now that the conversation is over, yet makes no effort to move. That’s fine by me, because I’m slowly learning she’s one of my favorite things to look at.
“If we’re friends,” she continues a bit bolder than moments before as a shy smile spreading across her face. “Does that mean we can play Mario Kart this weekend?”
No matter how many times I try to keep my face neutral in the span it took her to ask me to hang out, the grin comes instantly, but it quickly falls when I think about my weekend. The dread plummets in my stomach and ruins the excitement over her invitation.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to this weekend,” I say, hating how quickly the smile falls from her face. “I have to head up to Connecticut to grab the rest of my things from my ex. She’s moving apparently and found some of my stuff in a closet.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Yasmin texted me the other night, ironically when Daisy was over, to ask if I wanted anything she found from our old house. Apparently, she and the guy she cheated on me with are planning on moving in together, and wants me to grab the last minute things she found tucked away in her closet.
Although our relationship ended poorly, I thought her moving on with somebody else would bother me. Honestly, all I can think is, ‘good luck,’ to that guy, because she’s a handful. I’d rather not go at all, but I’d regret not grabbing the last of my things, in case any of them were important.
“Well,” Daisy pulls me from my thoughts with a few backward steps towards the door. “We can always hang out another weekend or something.”
“Or you could come with me.”
The words surprise the both of us because she stops walking and I stand straighter. The idea was a brief thought in my head, I hadn’t thought to suggest it out loud.
She must read that on my face because her face softens a fraction. “No, that’s alright. This is probably something you need to do alone.”
I don’t want to do it alone is what I want to say. There aren’t any residual feelings over my ex, and honestly, if I’m going back to Connecticut for the day, it’d be nice to have a road trip buddy. I get bored and distracte
And what perfect time to get to know Daisy for a three-hour car ride there and back?
“Come with me,” I try again, pushing off my desk to walk her way. “There isn’t anything I’m holding onto from my relationship, Daisy Girl. It’d be nice to have somebody to talk to on the ride there and back. Plus, I haven’t been there in a while. Might be nice to explore.”
“Explore? A place you already lived for…?”
“Two and a half years,” I answer for her, the grin already tugging on either side of my mouth. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We’ll get to know each other—“
“As friends,” she clarifies before I can finish.
“As friends,” I agree, the smile widening on my face because I’m convinced I can sell the idea to her. “We can listen to shitty music and talk about everything and nothing, maybe go on a hike.”
“You seem like you’ve had time to think about this,” she murmurs, and fuck, the sultriness of her voice is enough to make my dick jump again.
“I just thought about it,” I admit, the enjoyment starting to warp into nerves over fear of rejection. “If you don’t want to come, that’s cool, too. We can always hang when I’m back.”
Her eyes roam over my face like she’s trying to detect the lie, but finally settles on a nod. “Fine. I’ll come, but you better not listen to shitty music.”
A relieved chuckle escapes, and this time, Daisy’s pretty smile graces us. Fuck, she’s so beautiful.
“You’ve got a deal,” I say. She rolls her eyes and turns to walk out the door, yet I can’t help but follow. She turns around unexpectedly, nearly bumping into my chest, and squeaks, “Oh!” when my hand reaches to brace her elbow. Her breath hitches.
“Sorry,” she mumbles as a pink tint brushes her face. “I didn’t know you were so close.” I can’t help but watch the rise and fall of her chest, the quickness of her breath, either from our proximity or being startled. “I was…” she swallows nervously. “I was going to say you should let me beat your ass in Mario Kart again before this weekend if you’re busy when we get back.”
“Never too busy for you, Daisy Girl,” I murmur, the urge to pull her completely into my arm unbearable. I don’t let her elbow go because if this is the closest I get to be to her, I don’t want to miss it. “We can definitely play Mario Kart when we’re back. But just so you know,” I take a step closer, this time our chests practically touching as I bend down close to her ear. “I won’t let you leave until you let me kick your ass.”
She snorts, rolling her eyes as she takes a step back, although the grin plays on her lips, and her cheeks are still stained with pink. “We’ll see about that, Tanner,” she says somewhat breathlessly. I grin.
“I’ll let you know about the details when I figure them out tonight. I’m not sure if I’m going Friday afternoon or Saturday yet, so I’ll keep you posted.”
“‘Kay,” she says over her shoulder. She’s pulling the door open as she says, “Oh, and Tanner?”
“Yes, Daisy?”
Looking over her shoulder, her eyes sparkle with amusement. “I’ve never lost a game of Mario Kart in my life, so we might have a long night ahead of us.”
I smirk, my gaze roaming over her body. “Looking forward to it.”
Her grin widens as she faces forward and walks out of the office, waving briefly to Kinsley before walking down the hall with a bounce that wasn’t there prior to her coming in here. Something similar to hope blooms in my chest, although I taper it down as much as possible. I don’t want to get ahead of myself with whatever is going on between Daisy and me. Yeah, we’re friends now, I guess, but we’ve always seemed to toe the line in some capacity. It makes me nervous for the trip to Connecticut I impulsively invited her on. I meant every word when I was talking to her—I do think it could be fun to see her outside of own city and get to know her on a more personal level.
Something about her naturally draws me in—whether it’s her wit, the smaller moments when she’s comfortable enough being vulnerable, the color of her eyes—I don’t know. But there’s something about her that makes me feel more alive than what I’ve felt in the past few years, and all I want to do is chase that high and never let go.
I’m willing to take the chance on Daisy. I want more than I’ve wanted anything in a long time, but somehow, I know her. It’s going to be more than telling her pretty words to lock her down. I have to earn her—show her that I’m worth every ounce of her time because I won’t be like the rest. I won’t hurt her or put her through the shit she’s gone through with everybody else in her life. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this girl mine, and I know the risk may be higher than the reward, but it’s one chance I’m willing to take.
I’ll earn Daisy’s love, her trust—I’ll give her anything she wants if it means I can get a fraction of her heart. There’s something special about her that makes me not want to let go, and I’m going to make her realize that she can’t let go of me, either.