Chapter 43
“Ilike her,” my cousin, Aurora, says as she plops down in the chair next to mine. It’s been a few hours of mingling and playing with my younger cousins while people pulled Daisy left and right, wanting to get to know her. I can only hope she wasn’t feeling too overwhelmed by everything, but the last time I intercepted her, she kissed me gently on my lips and promised she was having a good time.
“I like her, too,” I say, finding my girl in the kitchen with my mom again, having some conversation that apparently was only reserved for them. When I tried going in there earlier, my mom swatted me away and said she wanted to get to know Daisy without the pressure of me hovering. Daisy smirked and said she’d be fine, but now I’m hardly able to stop bouncing my leg.
“Aunt Gracie isn’t going to say anything to scare her away,” Aurora says, pulling my thoughts away from the interaction. I look at my cousin, see the warmth in her hazel eyes as she smiles at me contently. Aurora is my cousin on Dad’s side—she’s his older brother’s kid. Dad and his brothers are close, so growing up, Aurora was constantly around until he took a job in Washington and moved the family there. Aurora has an older sister, Amy, who I haven’t spoken to in years, but from what I’ve seen on social media, she’s with some guy named Luke. Couldn’t find much on the guy, but he didn’t look like good news. She looks happy, though, and if anybody can take care of herself, it’s that girl.
“I know she won’t,” I agree, not wanting to delve too deeply into the conversation with my cousin. I barely see her nowadays, so I nudge her shoulder. “He seems like a good dude,” I nod towards her boyfriend, who laughs at something our dads say.
“He is,” she says softly. “He’s so good to me, Tanner. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”
As if hearing that, he lifts his gaze and scans the room, honing in on her. His own face softens, smirking before taking a sip of the beer in his hand, turning back to the conversation. Normally, I’d feel bitter about that interaction, but I’m not. I’m the total opposite for once—not jaded about other people in relationships when mine didn’t work out. It led me to Daisy, and nothing could’ve prepared me for the joy I felt when looking at her.
She currently laughs at something my mom said, both of them looking at me before sharing a look, and for some reason, the interaction makes me release a breath, my shoulders sagging in relief. My mom can be a hardass, and based on the conversation between mom and me earlier this week, I wasn’t sure which way it’d go. I turn my attention back to my cousin, who watches her boyfriend in awe.
“How’s your sister?” I ask, nudging Aurora’s shoulder. Her face falls, but she quickly fixes it. “She’s fine. Her boyfriend, or friends-with-benefits guy, or whoever he is, isn’t doing so hot, but she’s hanging in there.”
I frown, not getting a chance to engage in that conversation because Daisy emerges from the kitchen, displeasure written across her face as she walks through the living room and down the hall. I glance to my mom, her lips pursed in a thin line, and Aurora and I exchange a glance.
“What was that about?” I say, moreso to myself than her. She shrugs from next to me, slowing rising from her chair. “Not sure,” she says. “I’ll go check in with Daisy. You wanna talk to Aunt Gracie?”
“Yeah,” I say, looking into the kitchen as I stand, gaze flicking to the hall where Daisy went, and then into the kitchen. “I’ll be there.”
Aurora and I separate, and as I walk into the kitchen, Mom’s lips are turned down. I outstretch my arms on either side of me when she meets my eyes.
“What the hell happened?”
Mom sets the towel she was holding down and faces me. She sighs. “I just want what’s best for you, Tanner.”
My gaze volleys between hers as I try getting a read on what she’s actually saying. Anger slowly rises through my chest, working its way into the base of my throat. “What does that mean?”
Mom opens her mouth, but a hand grasping her elbow pulls her from the conversation. I barely hear what she and my Aunt Keri are saying, something about potatoes in the oven? Mom says something back before turning her attention on me. A combination of frustration and sorrow flickers across her face. “Tanner, I can’t talk about this right now,” she says in a low voice. There’s a sharpness there that feels like I’m getting scolded for something I didn’t do. “I’m hosting a ton of people and the food is almost done. This will have to wait.”
She turns around and heads for the oven at the same time my aunt pulls the pan out, both of them talking in hushed whispers. I scoff and shake my head as I walk out of the living room.
Making my way down the hall, a range of emotions flicker through me. The anger is unexpected, but I can’t help wondering what the hell my Mom said to make Daisy so upset. From the looks of it when Aurora and I first started talking, the conversation went seemingly well. I don’t understand what happened in such a short amount of time for something to blow up that bad.
Pushing open various doors into spare bedrooms, I frown when I don’t find Daisy in them. I finally make way to the last door on the left, a small smile despite the anger on my face when I hear Aurora talking softly behind the door of my childhood bedroom. It’s quickly replaced with concerns when I finally step inside, finding Daisy and Aurora talking on the bed. A box of kleenex rests between them, and through her tears, Daisy attempts to smile. It’s wobby and quickly replaced with tears again, and for a brief moment, I see red.
“What happened?” I demand, taking a step closer to them. Aurora squeezes Daisy’s arm and stands from the bed. “I’ll leave you two.”
As she passes me, she quickly slips her hand in mine and squeezes once before dropping it and walking out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.
Daisy stands instantly, and I’m closing the distance between us. My arm instantly wraps around her and pulls her into me as I try searching for her eyes, but she keeps her head down. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” she shakes her head, voice thick as she tries pushing away from me. “It was nothing, I’m just being dramatic.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing,” I observe, dipping my head to find her eyes. She doesn’t budge, her gaze fixated everywhere but me. That irritates me more than it should. “What happened?” I say, softer than I’d like.
“Seriously Tanner, I’m fine,” she says sternly, placing her hands on my chest to push me away. This time, I drop my arms, forcing the rejection away. It’s hard watching her close herself off again, and while normally I’d have some semblance of understanding, I’m pissed. I don’t know what happened, I’m irritated with my mom brushing me off, and now it feels like Daisy is once again, pushing me away.
She takes a step away from me and carefully wipes her eyes before walking over to the bed to create some distance between us. “I think I’m working myself up over nothing. I just need a second to calm down, and then I’ll be okay.”
“Daisy,” I say, still not believing her. I take a step forward and my heart thumps violently in my chest. “Tell me what happened.”
For a brief moment, I think she’s going to tell me. I’m wrong.
“I don’t want to do this right now,” she says, grabbing a kleenex to continue dabbing the corners of her eyes. “It’s Thanksgiving, and I don’t want to ruin it. I’m okay. I think I’m interpreting what she said into something that it’s not, and I just need a second to calm down.”
“Okay,” I say, irritated. “But what did she say?”
Daisy sighs, this time fully rubbing her eyes. When she drops her hands, exhaustion fills her face. “Can we not do this right now? Please?” she takes a step forward. “I’m just feeling anxious—“
“Goddamnit, Daisy!” I shout, causing her to startle. This time I sigh and drop my head, closing my eyes to regain some of my composure. It’s starting to irritate me that she won’t tell me what happened between her and my mom. I should lay off because she’s asking for a minute to calm down, but the smallest part of me doesn’t trust that she’ll circle back and talk to me when she’s ready. I’m used to her shutting down, and I can’t tell whether this is her genuinely asking to take a minute to cool off, or if it’s her subtly trying to push me away.
“You told me you’d try,” I say lowly. When I glance at her again, her eyebrows are pinched together. “I told you I needed communication, and seeing that whatever was said to upset you was because of my mom—“
“Yeah,” she interrupts, tears no longer on her face. “And I told you that I needed a minute to calm down. I don’t want to ruin Thanksgiving by getting into a fight or talking with you about it while we’re here. We can talk about it on the way home, but I’m trying to have a good day.“ She continues walking until she’s standing in front of me, her eyes open and vulnerable.
I hate that a sliver of me doubts her.
“Please,” she continues. “Can we talk about it later?”
I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I truly do, but the doubt I feel comes raging in, and suddenly I can’t think past the other times she’s pushed me away. At my house asking about her life, or when I’ve said things she wasn’t comfortable hearing. I don’t know why this event is so significant that it’s causing me to react so poorly, other than the fact that Daisy’s dismissal of a conversation that feels important to our relationship, but it makes me angry.
“You always do this,” I say, irritated.
Her eyes flash with irritation. “Do what?”
“Push me away. And honestly Daise, I’m getting sick of it.”
She blinks, battling an internal war with herself. “You’re seriously upset right now?””Of course I am!” I whisper yell. “You aren’t telling me what happened, and like usual, you’re pushing me away.”
“So, lemme get this straight,” she says, placing a hand on her jutted hip. “I ask you to give me space to process the conversation between me and your mom, because there is a chance I may be misinterpreting the whole thing. You are upset about that, therefore you’re accusing me of pushing you away?”
“Not accusing,” I say sharply. “It’s what you do.”
She stares at me incredulously. “Do you hear yourself right now? Where is this coming from?”
To be fair, she asks a valid question. One that I haven’t fully figured out. The sudden onset of anger and irritation are unexpected, but looking back on it, I realize I’ve been shoving those emotions down to give Daisy space to work through the difficulties she has when it comes to relationships. I don’t necessarily want to drop the conversation, but maybe I need to figure out what my mom said and gauge my emotions before having this conversation. Putting it on the back burner feels like a mistake, but it’s clear that she’s not going to budge. The last thing I want right now, is to make a situation worse.
“Fine,” I say. I’m still irritated, so much so that I take another step away from her. “Let’s go back out there.”
The same look of disbelief is still on her face, but is slowly replaced with wariness. “Okay,” she says quietly.
Walking to the door, I pull it open and gesture for her to walk in front of me. She doesn’t move from her spot right away, staring at me in a way that feels too uncomfortable for my liking; almost as if she’s looking at me in a new light. When she blinks, she masks any emotions she feels and walks past me.
I exhale and follow closely behind, hoping the rest of the day is better than how I’m currently feeling.