Chapter 50
I’m stepping out of the shower when my ears perk up, a knock echoing through my apartment with an urgency that makes the nerves drop into my stomach. I tap my phone screen and see the same notifications from earlier—my sister, Declan, and a few social media notifications that I rarely check already. I’m not expecting anybody tonight, and now that I canceled on Declan—who was more understanding than I was expecting—I was planning on cooking a nice meal for myself and going to bed early. I have no idea who could be at my house at this time, but when the knocking sounds like pounding, I quickly slip into my sweatpants, forge the shirt for now, and hurry down the hall, wasting no time in checking the peep hole before pulling it open.
My jaw drops, chest pounding, and heart hammering when I see Daisy’s tear-stricken face, glassy eyes, and bright red nose. I roam her entire face with alarm, noticing her jacket with little droplets of water, cracked lips while her gaze focuses on my chest, working her way down my stomach. Her stare warms me from the inside out, but I’m too busy wrapping my head around her standing outside my apartment to care about anything else happening at the moment. My dinner could be burning on the stove and I wouldn’t care because I’m too transfixed by the woman in front of me.
“I was coming here to yell at you,” she announces, pushing her hood from her partially wet hair, her cheeks rosy. “Because I’m so fucking angry with you for the bullshit you pulled earlier outside of work, but turns out, walking in a storm makes all the fight leave your body.”
My eyebrows snap together, trying to process each word she’s saying. “You walked here?“ I nearly shout, taking a step forward, my hand itching to grab her but refraining. “Daisy, what the hell is wrong with you? I would’ve picked you up!”
She shakes her head, frustrated. “You aren’t listening to me! I didn’t want your help. I’m angry at you.”
“Baby,” I sigh, shaking my head slightly. The nickname slips out accidentally, but right now, I don’t care. She can be mad at me all she wants. The priority is getting her out of her wet clothes and feeding her. I don’t know how long she’s been out in that storm, and honestly it makes my stomach tighten with fury that she was so stubborn she decided to walk. It’s unsafe and dangerous. What if she’d gotten hurt?
“You can be mad at me all you want, but come inside.”
Her eyes flash with indignation, but I can’t help but notice how fast they dart behind me, over my stomach again, and back to my face. “I don’t want to.”
I fight the sigh in my throat, folding my arms across my chest and leaning against the doorframe. I’m not in the mood to deal with her stubbornness right now, but I also don’t want to fight with her.
“Fine,” I say. “I’ll make a deal with you. You can yell at me all you want, whether it’s out in the hall or in my apartment all you want, but at least come inside and get out of the wet clothes. I can practically see you shivering.”
Her eyes narrow. “I don’t have any clothes here, Tanner, so that wouldn’t work.”
Not gonna lie, her defiance is cute. The way her nose scrunches and eyes flare makes me bite back a laugh. I drop my head, tongue swiping out across my bottom lip before I roll it in my mouth. “But I do have clothes you can wear for the time being. Borrow or have, I don’t care, but I’m not going to let you sit out in this hall in freezing wet clothes.”
“But I’m…” her mouth closes once. “I don’t know what I am. I’m mad, I think. Mainly at myself,” she trails off softly, and I nod, humming. My hand reaches out on its own, like it can’t stand the near proximity of being close to her without touching her, and wraps around her wrist, tugging her gently to me.
“Be mad all you want, baby,” I say, my voice coming out hoarsely as our gazes lock. “But be mad at me inside.”
We don’t break eye contact for what seems longer than necessary, familiarizing ourselves again with each other’s near proximity. Her scent, in combination with cold air, wafts through my nostrils, flipping every part of my body with an urgency I’ve yearned for the past few months. Her being this close to me makes me miss her so deeply that every part of my body aches.
“No funny business,” she grumbles finally, and I force my lips to remain in a thin line. It doesn’t take much reminding to remember why I’m so in love with this girl, but this show of anger when I know she isn’t—she’s hurt and confused, and I guess maybe a bit of anger the deeper I gaze into her eyes is her way to protect herself, so I’ll play along.
“No funny business, baby,” I say lowly, pulling her across the threshold into my apartment and closing the door behind her, locking it. She jerks at the noise and tenses when my hands reach for her arms from behind.
“Take off your jacket,” I say lowly, this sudden drop in my voice so husky she shudders. I smirk knowing she isn’t looking behind me, but she shuffles out of it with my assistance.
“I can do it myself,” she grumbles again, and I nod.
“I know. But let me help anyway,” I say, pulling it from her body to hang on the coat rack. “You walked all the way here, and I’m sure you’re tired.”
“I’m fine,” she snaps in that same grouchy tone, and I don’t know why, but it makes me fall in love with her even more—how hard she’s trying not to be happy she’s back here with me. I can read Daisy better than myself at this point, and while her feelings aren’t for show, she’s protecting herself. She’s back in foreign territory, with me being her biggest “threat.”
I walk around her when she bends down to unlace her boots, leaning against the wall as I wait for her to stand fully.
When she does, I fight back the wince in my throat. Her clothes are wet somehow, a big circle stain on the front of her shirt, probably from her jacket and this supposed fall she took.
“I’m fine,” she says in the same tone, reading the concern on my face. “I’m just wet.”
I’m too concerned for her to think of anything other than getting her out of those clothes into something warmer. Normally, I’d be shoving inappropriate thoughts out of my head, like how wet she might be, but I shake my head.
“Do you want to shower?” I offer instead, gesturing down the hall. “I can grab you dry clothes and—“
“I’m not staying,” she interrupts, unmoving from her spot. “I just wanted to yell at you, and you being nice isn’t helping my case.”
My eyebrows rise, and I fold my arms across my chest, amusement flickering through my eyes. “Your case?”
“Yeah,” she says stubbornly. “I had this well-thought-out plan for why I came here, what I was going to say, and then I was going to leave again. I didn’t come here for you to be nice to me.”
My face softens. “I’m always going to be nice to you, Daisy.”
“Yeah, well,” she glances at her feet momentarily. “I don’t need you to be.”
I frown, letting the words linger in the air between us. I don’t know if she’s expecting that now that we’re…whatever we are, I’ll suddenly not give a shit about her, but she’s wrong. I may have fucked up once, but I’m not going to treat her in some shitty way because that’s what she’s used to and is expecting. I wouldn’t ever treat somebody with respect at the bare minimum, even if they did me dirty. It’s not who I am, and I realize in this moment that how tonight goes between her and I will be the final determinant on what happens from here.
I rise from the couch arm and stalk over to her, grabbing her face in between my hands and tilting it to look into my eyes. She stiffens but doesn’t shy away, although I wasn’t expecting her to in the first place. I can read this girl better than myself, and if I looked into why she came here tonight, I’d say it was because she wanted to get the reassurances she needed that our brief stinted relationship was real, that I did mean what I said when I told her I loved, and still love her, if for no other reason than being able to move on.
“I love you,” I say lowly, softly, my gaze open and vulnerable for her. Her mouth parts but she quickly clamps it shut again, gaze roaming my face. “But I will not be able to listen to you if you do not shower and warm yourself up. I’m not going to be able to sit here while you’re shivering and angry without making sure you’re taken care of, so please, baby,” I say, skimming my fingers across her cheek. “Let’s get you warm first.”
“No funny business,” she says softly, repeating herself as if she needs to remind both of us that she’s here on a mission and nothing more. I nod once.
“Nothing funny about this, baby. I just need to make sure you’re safe.”
I don’t give her a chance to debate because I know she is more than likely to do so. Instead, I drop my hands from her face, one grabbing her hand and curling my fingers in between hers, the sparks shooting into my arm as I drag her through the living room and down the hall into the bathroom.
It’s still steamy from my shower, but I leave her in the doorway and turn on the shower again before walking to the sink cabinet, pulling open a drawer with a bonnet in plastic wrap. Her eyebrows shoot up.
“Is that a bonnet?”
My gaze slides from her to the wrap, nodding. “Yeah,” I say, ripping open the packaging. “I didn’t know if you’d ever stay here or need to shower or something, so I googled shower bonnets for curly hair.”
Saying that out loud makes the heat creep into my face, but I set the bonnet back down and open another cabinet for a fresh towel, hanging it on the towel rack for her. She watches me intently, something flickering through her eyes that reminds me a lot of hesitation before stepping closer to me.
I rub my neck awkwardly, uncomfortably once. “I don’t have any body wash for you other than mine,” I say. “Mainly because I didn’t know what you liked, but you’re free to use whatever’s in there.”
She nods once, gnawing on her bottom lip as she looks from the bonnet to the shower, the thoughts visibly working through her head. “Okay.”
The tension in the room is as thick as the steam from my leftover shower, and I step around her, wanting to give as much space as I possibly can. “Okay, well, I’ll be out here, so let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks.”
I quickly step out and close the door behind me, taking the deepest breath before walking into my bedroom to grab a shirt, throwing it over my body before grabbing a pair of sweats and a long-sleeved shirt she can borrow and walking back down the hall, knocking once on the bathroom door.
“Daise? I have your clothes,” I say.
A muffled “come in” is echoed from the opposite side, so I push open the door, brows indented when I find her in the same spot as before, eyes fixated on the bonnet.
“You okay?” I ask quietly, setting the clothes on the counter before folding my arms across my chest. She glances at me from over her shoulder, nodding.
“Yeah,” she says softly, although I can hear the wobble in her voice. “I was just waiting for the clothes.”
“Right,” I nod once. “I’ll leave you to it and will be in the living room if you need me.”
“Thanks,” she whispers, and I step out, closing the door behind me.