Chapter 8 #2
“I know. He’s used to having me available all the time, with nothing else to do.
Now, I’m back at school, even if it’s only two mornings a week.
But I have homework and papers to write, or I will, and he’s hearing about contracts, and a farm.
I think he’s feeling neglected, or afraid he will be if I get too busy. ”
“And how many hours does he spend with you every week?” Charlotte said with a critical edge to her voice that sounded like her old persona, not her mellower, more recent one.
“It depends how busy he is,” Veronica said in a subdued voice.
“That’s always been our deal. He sees me when he can.
But he was the busy one with a big life, I wasn’t.
Knowing that we’ve inherited all this, and Mom’s body of work and the responsibilities that will go with it, is going to be a lot for him to stomach. ”
“It will relieve him of financial responsibility for you,” Charlotte said, “if you tell him about it.”
“He’s never complained about that,” Veronica responded.
“Maybe not, but it’s a trade-off. If he pays all your bills, he may think he owns you, or has a right to all of your time and attention.
And if you can pay for your own now, that changes the dynamic between you.
He may feel he’s losing his hold on you.
” Charlotte pursued the thought and had hit the nail on the head.
“It sounds like it’s all about control,” she concluded, and Veronica knew she wasn’t wrong.
“That’s why I haven’t told him all of it. I’m trying to let him know gently, not all at once.”
“I’m glad I’m not in your shoes,” Charlotte said honestly, “having to massage a man’s ego, to make him feel important at your expense.
The bigger he is, or thinks he is, the smaller you have to be.
If you’re honest with him about your new circumstances, he’ll feel diminished and is liable to get pissed at you.
” Charlotte understood perfectly where the reefs were under the surface of the water, and what Veronica was dealing with in her relationship with Anson.
Charlotte wondered how much Anson would put up with, and how much control over Veronica he was willing to lose.
Charlotte suspected not much, and wondered if that was what Veronica was worried about, and if she was afraid to lose him.
Charlotte had never thought it was a healthy relationship for her sister, just as their mother hadn’t.
Veronica had to have no needs or demands at all in order to make the relationship acceptable to Anson, except the needs he sanctioned, like expensive clothes, which he didn’t mind.
But it was obvious that he didn’t want her to have a life of her own.
At thirty-six, she wanted more of a life than just waiting for him to show up when it suited him.
It sounded like a bad deal to Charlotte, and even to some of the others.
They were less judgmental and critical than Charlotte, who was very protective of Veronica, as their mother had been.
Veronica’s relationship with Anson was the one subject Charlotte and their mother had agreed on.
Quinne told them about the preproduction meetings for the series based on their mother’s book.
There were some very big names on the short list for the cast. She said it was very exciting working for a big budget production.
She had spoken to Scott about it several times, and Robert.
Veronica didn’t volunteer that she had met with Scott too, and they’d gone out for drinks. She didn’t want the others to know.
“Now that our lives have changed radically, I really want to start my own production company,” Quinne told them, as they cleared the table from the main course. The chickens Olivia had roasted were delicious. “Scott is going to help me set it up,” Quinne said. It was a huge step for her.
They had gotten to dessert and a local apple pie with vanilla ice cream when Isabelle finally spoke up.
She had said very little all evening, and the conversation had been lively about Veronica, and then Quinne’s plans to start a production company of her own, with a small part of her inheritance.
She could afford to now, and the prospect was exciting.
She hoped she could get more of their mother’s books onto the screen.
“Ian moved out,” Isabelle said in a soft voice, and everyone stopped talking and looked at her. It explained how tired and disheveled she looked. She wasn’t at her usual chic best, and they had all noticed it. She looked unhealthy and unkempt, and seemed disoriented, which wasn’t like her.
“Where did he move to?” Olivia asked her gently, as Veronica held her hand, and tears swam in Isabelle’s eyes as she fought to keep her voice steady.
“I don’t know. Probably in with the girl he’s involved with. He hasn’t told me, but that’s the obvious choice. I can reach him on his cellphone. He says he loves both of us, and she’s like a drug to him. He wants our marriage, just not now.”
“And what did you say?” Charlotte asked pointedly. She hated Ian for the pain she could see Isabelle was going through because of him.
“That he can’t have both of us and has to decide, so he moved out. The kids don’t know. They think he’s on a business trip. But they can’t believe that forever.”
“What a fool he is,” Charlotte said angrily, “and a bastard to you.” She had been there herself and knew how painful it was. “Would you take him back now?”
“Yes, if he gives her up. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to,” Isabelle said, as the tears spilled out of her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.
“It’s a mess at the moment. I didn’t expect him to refuse to give her up.
” She wiped her eyes with her napkin and took a breath.
“I just have to deal with it as it comes. I’ve been having a hard time since he left.
It’s difficult dealing with the kids and keeping up a happy front. ”
“I’m sorry,” Quinne and Olivia said in unison, and Veronica was still holding her hand. Charlotte was furious at Ian, just thinking about it. She’d been through the same thing with Adam over and over again. But Isabelle wasn’t bitter, she looked beaten to a pulp, and they all hated to see it.
“I almost didn’t come this weekend, I was such a mess, but I didn’t want to miss being with you guys, so I came,” she said, smiling at her sisters through her tears.
By the end of dinner, they were all talking animatedly to Isabelle, offering their advice, and their support.
She looked better by then, more alive and less ravaged, and grateful for their kindness and attention.
To lighten the mood, before they got up from dinner, Quinne asked who had done their homework and they all looked blank.
“I assigned you each twenty-one of Mom’s books to read. Isabelle only had to read ten, and Veronica promised to read thirty to make up for it. So? What did you read since we last saw each other?”
Charlotte groaned at the question. “I’ve been so busy at the office, and I’ve been working on Julia’s exams with her. She had finals. I’m sorry, I didn’t read anything.”
“Neither did I,” Isabelle confessed.
“You’re excused,” Quinne said immediately with a warm glance in her direction. “You’re exempt at the moment.”
“I read one,” Veronica said, “and I brought two with me.”
“Two. And I want to have a baby,” Olivia said, and they all stared at her, shocked by the statement.
“You want to adopt?” Quinne asked her. All attention was on her now.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, ever since Mom died.
I suddenly realized that I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, and be old and have no kids.
We were Mom’s greatest joy, maybe other than Spencer.
But we’re all here, still loving her, and keeping her memory alive.
Think how sad it would be if she had no kids.
” They were all quiet, thinking about it, and realized that she was right.
“After the accident, they said I could still have children, but I never asked about it. I didn’t want any, and there’s been no man in my life. ”
“Is there now?” Charlotte asked her, surprised. They seemed to be a family of deep secrets these days. Anything was possible. Olivia lived alone, and might have had a man in her life they didn’t know about.
“No,” she answered the question. “I don’t know that I need one.
I could adopt, or have a sperm donor if I’m physically capable of having a child, or an egg donor and a surrogate.
I don’t know what’s possible. But I’m thirty-seven, and Mom’s dying woke me up.
I want a baby. And I think I could manage it on my own, with a sitter or a nanny.
” She sounded serious about it, and they were all stunned.
It was a major announcement, and it touched them all deeply.
“Have you seen a doctor?” Isabelle asked, and Olivia shook her head.
“I haven’t checked it out. I wanted to tell you first,” she said to the group.
“You’re braver than I am,” Quinne said. “When I listen to what some of you have been through, and think about what Mom must have gone through raising us alone, it would scare the hell out of me to have a child. I’ve spent the last ten years trying to decide if I should get a dog, and I haven’t gotten there yet,” she said, and they all laughed.
Quinne had been afraid of responsibility and commitment for all of her adult life.
“I think it’s an amazing idea,” Charlotte said to Olivia, impressed.
“So do I,” Isabelle added. “Even with everything falling apart with Ian, my kids are the best thing in my life, and all of you. I think you would be a great mother,” she said to Olivia.
“I agree with Quinne,” Veronica commented. “Kids scare me to death. But if you think you can manage it, I’m behind you a hundred percent. I’ll do whatever I can to help. I don’t want to be a mom, but I love being an aunt!”