Chapter Five
Brody
Rachel’s thumbs dug lightly into the tense muscles of my lower back, and I let out a groan.
I didn’t want or need anyone’s help…but damn, this heating pad felt amazing. I buried my face in her pillow, hoping to muffle the sounds I didn’t seem to be able to hold in.
It didn’t help; her pillows smelled like her. Natural and floral, and clean.
I was way too comfortable, except for where my cock was starting to stiffen under my zipper. That was…inconvenient—not just physically, but because of what it revealed about how I felt about Rachel after only a few days.
This wasn’t me.
I wasn’t the guy who wanted to sleep with just anyone. It had to be someone I actually cared about. So the fact that my body was reacting right now should have been setting off more alarm bells than it was.
There was a reason I was single in my forties. I was a loner. A grumpy, set in my ways, stubborn asshole, according to more than one ex.
Was she just a caring person, taking care of me? Or was she feeling some inconvenient feelings too?
I moved my head so I could look up at her. She was focusing on my lower back where she was working the muscles, hair escaping from her ponytail and falling into her eyes.
She really was beautiful.
Her deep blue eyes flicked to my face, and she caught me looking. A grin tugged at the corners of her mouth. “What?” she asked softly.
I shook my head against the pillow. “You’re just…thanks for helping me.”
“You look like you could fall asleep.”
“I could,” I told her, honestly. The implications of falling asleep in her bed, even if I never touched her, made my scarred heart want to rebel. “I should go. I’m feeling a lot better.” I started to push myself up, but she stilled me with a hand on my shoulder.
“Stay.” She eased me back onto the bed with a firm hand. “At least let the heat do its work for another ten minutes or so.” I nodded, and eased back into the mattress.
She moved around to the other side of the bed. I felt the mattress dip as she climbed in beside me.
“Your braid came undone. Can I fix it for you?”
I nodded immediately, knowing what that meant. My long hair was important to me, representing the culture that was almost erased by the residential school system in Canada. Wearing it long felt like a rebellion, and honoring my ancestors all in one.
She ran her fingers over my scalp, gently pulling the pieces smooth.
Her touch was so careful and sweet that I wanted to lean into it.
I was okay by myself, but having her care for me was breaking down walls I’d fortified a long time ago.
I could feel as she split my hair into three and braided the strands tightly down my back.
It was a sign of trust more than she probably realized.
“There,” she murmured as she completed the braid and tied off the ends.
I melted into her touch as her hands found my back, and started to knead again. The feel of her breath on the back of my neck was the last thing I noticed before I fell asleep.
******
The light was dim as I started to wake. Normally, I was up with a shrill alarm clock, and a chill in my cabin.
Now it was more like slowly breaking the surface of the water.
I was warm and comfortable, feeling like a caterpillar in a cocoon.
With that strangely sappy idea, my eyes shot open.
I blinked, glancing around. It took me a minute to remember where I was.
I was in Rachel’s bed; we’d arrived back at her place in the afternoon.
Based on the light coming through the window, it was now early evening.
Her bed was like a cloud under me. The cocoon feeling was her arm resting over my waist and holding her chest against my back.
She felt so soft pressed against me. My body was calm and my mind was too.
I wasn’t feeling that immediate urge to jump up and do things, fill my time and space with productivity.
Even so, I should wake her up. Right?
Or maybe put some distance between us, and then wake her up.
That was the right thing to do.
She hadn’t brought me here for a sleepover, I should have left hours ago.
Before I could decide, a yawn sounded from behind my ear, and I looked over my shoulder into a pair of blurry blue eyes. “Uh, good morning?” she said, blinking slowly.
“I think it’s dinner time actually,” my voice came out quiet and low. Something about the whole thing made me want to whisper when usually I was shouting to be heard.
She nodded. “Guess we should get up then?” It came out more like a question. I couldn’t help but notice her arm was still firmly around my waist and she hadn’t moved away. Her mouth was just an inch from mine, her lips looking irresistibly soft.
I could have closed the distance.
Even with a sore back and opposing viewpoints, I wanted to.
The look in her eyes made me think she wanted it too. “How are you feeling?”
I rolled onto my back and maneuvered so we were lying face to face, getting tangled in the cord of the heating pad in the process. The move caused a twinge of pain in my back, but nothing like earlier. “Way better,” I answered honestly.
“Good,” her voice comes out in a murmur. Low and husky, like mine. We lay like that, staring at each other. It wasn’t awkward but there was a question there. Should I or shouldn’t I?
I wanted to.
There were a million reasons not to, but they all felt thin with her eyes looking into mine. Just when I decided to do just that, the obnoxious sound of a phone vibrating on the nightstand had us all but jumping apart.
I ran my hand over my face, trying to properly wake up, as Rachel sat up and grabbed her phone.
I’d lost my chance.
If I had another one, would I hesitate or grab it with both hands?