Chapter 4
FOUR
Four
Holly
I can’t believe I thought I looked good in this outfit.
Tugging at the hem of the skirt as Cole walks behind me into the house doesn’t make me feel any less naked, and I hurry inside, laying my coat over one of the chairs at my dad’s kitchen table.
“Thanks for the ride.” I cross my arms over my chest shivering then release them when my boobs practically pop out of the top of my sweater.
“Sure.”
My stomach flutters as he walks into the great room, leaning down to put some logs in the fireplace.
“Umm,” I start. “You don’t have to do that. I’m sure you have better things to do with the rest of your evening. I’ll be fine, really.”
He keeps doing what he’s doing, while I fidget with the neckline of my sweater, pulling it up. Then back down.
Then up again.
I watch as he stacks the logs. His firm body easily maneuvering around, then crouching down as he stuffs newspaper under the grate and lights the paper. A few minutes later, the logs crackling and he stands, clearing his throat and giving me a solid, unapologetic stare.
“What?” I ask when his look goes on a few beats longer than is comfortable.
“You grew up.” He looks uncomfortable as he walks past me to the couch and sits down.
“Yeah. I guess. Everyone does.”
“You’re dressed different. You dress like that while you were in Philly?” There’s a catch in his voice, and I’m not sure if it’s concern or judgment, but my defenses raise.
“No—” I start, then catch myself and draw a quick breath. “I mean, not really. I just wanted to dress up tonight. For…” I think twice before I finish. “…the party.”
“Really?” He eyes me up and down, and it feels like my nerves are on fire. “For the party.”
My nervousness turns to shame and I turn my gaze to the floor. “I know it doesn’t look good on me. I tried, not everyone can be an Amanda.” I spit out the last words, remembering how she was all over Cole when I walked in. “Guess that’s more your thing.”
I immediately regret the last words as they ring with jealousy. His hard gaze makes me feel more and more awkward, and I start to talk just to hide my discomfort.
“Not that I blame you. She’s every guy’s fant—”
“That’s not more my thing.” His voice is hard. “I was hoping you wore what you wore for me.”
“What?” It takes me a minute to process his statement. My breath comes faster and my heart is about to leap from my chest.
“You heard me. But, you know what I’d rather see?”
I shake my head, completely unsure what’s happening right now.
“You. Right here.” He points at a spot just in front of him, where he’s sitting leaning back, long legs open. “Taking off those clothes. For me.”
My cheeks burn as he stares at me silently. “Is this a joke?” I’m suddenly shaking but it’s not from the chilly weather and what I see in his eyes is not humor.
“No joke.” His voice is demanding and serious as he brings a hand to his crotch, the bulge there unmistakable. “My dick doesn’t joke.”
I can see the length of him, pressing all the way up to his belt, and I don’t know what to say or do. Warmth travels over my skin as I swallow hard and Cole looks at me like I’m dessert.
How many times did I imagine just this? How many times did I lay in bed, listening to Cole and my father talking while I touched myself, whispering to my pillow that I was saving myself for him, hoping in some magical way he would hear me. That he would slip into my room and take what I was keeping just for him.
How many times did I fantasize about laying there as his body covered me, feeling the first brush of his cock on my virgin pussy? His face just above mine, hovering there while he told me he loved me and pushed the swollen head inside. My pussy, slick and wet as I imagined all the parts of him. The parts I’d seen: his hand, forearms, his shirtless torso. I’d watched him so many times and each one was seared into my brain. Times when my dad took me to their worksites and Cole would be there next to the other workers, skin slick with sweat as my pussy would tingle and my nipples would harden.
He’s watching me now with a laser focus and I’m frozen. Rapt. Unable to move or speak.
Seeing the want in his eyes releases something inside of me, something I’ve kept locked down forever. Something I’ve wanted to say. Something he’s made me feel.
“I did wear it for you. I wanted you to see me…not just as your friend’s daughter.” I whisper, taking a few tentative steps forward until I’m standing where he pointed, in front of his spread knees.
“I’ve seen you for a long time, Holly.” His words slide out, deep and rich, on a rumble that comes from his chest, like he’s some wild beast claiming his mate.
The dampness between my legs gathers and he shifts on the couch, adjusting the length of his cock as my pulse races in my ears and my throat is tight.
My fingertips are tingling but my inhibitions fall away as the lust in Cole’s face grows. Knowing he’s looking at me like that gives me the confidence to say what comes next.
“It’s hard to believe that’s true. But I’ve wanted you. Like, wanted you wanted you.”
He leans forward, making me gasp as he grabs me around the waist, pulling me toward him, his face at the level of my chest. “Sit here. Facing me.” The commanding timbre of his voice gives me goosebumps as he pulls me toward his lap.
My nipples tighten and tingle under my bra, and I wonder what it would feel like to have his warm mouth draw each peak inside. I’m unsteady on the tall heels I bought just for tonight but unwilling to admit that I’m more afraid of his disappointment than I am of his gaze. His eyes are trained on my chest, and I bring my shaking fingers to the buttons on the sweater, smiling as I start to work them open.
“Sit,” he repeats, making me pause what I’m doing, and when I hesitate his voice deepens. “Now…”
His hands drop to grip my ass, and that sound comes again from his throat. More like a raspy growl than anything human. I shock myself as I do as he asks, slipping my legs next to his and guiding myself slowly down onto his hard thighs, forcing my skirt high on my thighs as he groans.
“I’m not…” I start, the embarrassment already heating my cheeks. “Too heavy?”
“No.” He answers, the word clipped and short. “You’re perfect, Holly.”
I decide to just get it out there. “Okay, it’s just… I figured you just saw me as your friend’s chubby daughter.”
“Fuck.” He lets out another long, painful growl, and looks up at the ceiling for a moment before bringing his eyes back to mine. What I see there answers my question before he even speaks. He brings a hand to grip the back of my neck, pulling me a few inches downward until I feel the warmth of his breath. “I’m not sure I should tell you this. I’ve never seen you as either of those things. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you, Holly. If that makes me a horrible person, I’m sorry.”
“Really?” I cover my mouth with one hand.
I try to let that sink in. There should be warning flags waving red at me from all directions, but all I see are checkered flags telling me I’ve just won the race I didn’t even know I was running.
“Really.”
The grip on my neck tightens and Cole pulls my face to his. When our lips connect it’s like I’ve just grabbed onto a live wire. A buzzing jolt makes me wince and sparks fill my vision.
His lips are perfectly soft, and as they open I feel the lust in his kiss. He sees me like a woman, desirable, a thing of beauty…and I’ve never felt that from a man before. I’m the thick chick. Thunder thighs. Muffin top.
I’m not this.
I’m not the focus of someone’s fantasies.
Wait, maybe that’s it. I’m just a fantasy. A weird, kinky fantasy about your best friend’s daughter…
As the doubt tickles the back of my mind, my tongue finds his and God…this kiss can’t be wrong, because it just feels too right.
I want to do this forever. Kissing harder, I ease forward on his lap, the throbbing between my legs screaming for more.
As I shift, my heart pounds and I feel the steel of his length pressing into my spread legs. The wetness between my legs seeping into the fabric of his trousers.
Cole’s other hand drifts down my back and comes to rest on my ass, pulling me harder into his erection as he begins to rock us together, our kiss igniting in a burst of soft flame.
When he finally pulls back, I feel the loss.
“What? Did I do something wrong?”
“Fuck, no. I want you, Holly. All of you. Do you understand that? This isn’t just sex. I want you. Us. Together.”
He leans forward and kisses me again, and I immediately melt, trying to process what’s happening. The room feels like it’s spinning, and this has to be a dream. A perfect Christmas dream. And if it is, I want to live in it for the rest of my life.
Every part of me is buzzing and alive. Even with the nagging doubt, I still believe him. Even though when I look at him I see a man that could have any woman he wants, he wants me. He’s not playing around, and I finally know what it means to swoon.
We withdraw again and as I gaze into his piercing blue eyes, I see them darken with intensity, his hands gripping me, making me feel utterly safe. And utterly under his control.
“My dad is going to be home in a couple hours…” I bring a shoulder to my ear, hoping he’s picking up on what I’m offering.
“I don’t think that will work.” He answers and my heart sinks.
Disappointment clouds my vision, and my self-doubt tells me once again I’m misreading all this. He’s toying with me. I feel the tears spring to my eyes.
“Okay.” I drop my gaze, trying not to let him see my tears, but his hand on my neck controls me and he forces my eyes to his.
“No, listen. I’ll take the couple hours, Holly. I’ll take whatever I can get. But I’ll want more. I’ll need more.” He shakes his head, letting out a long warm breath. “I’ve wanted you for so long. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. Soft. Warm. Your ass, Jesus, your tits. Your laugh. Your kindness. Your mind. All of you. A couple hours will not scratch the surface of what I will need from you from now on. Do you get that? You let this monster out of me now and he’s not going back into hiding again. It will be impossible.”
If I wasn’t sitting down, I would probably fall. My body weakens at his words, and I want him to know he’s had my heart for just as long.
“I’ve got a secret to tell you, too.” I manage, biting into my bottom lip before daring myself to finish. “I always dreamed you’d be my first. I…” My breath catches and I blow out an embarrassed breath. “I saved myself for you. All of me, I mean.”
“Jesus, Holly.” His face looks pained, but I feel his cock grow harder under my sex as he starts moving us together again. “This is a Christmas miracle. You are my Christmas miracle.”