Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE_
FIRST NIGHT
After dinner, Winston sent Calvin up to his room, much to the annoyance of Lucky, who was enamored with the newest bribe from Winston’s father.
Truth be told, Winston should be old enough by now to not care about the fact that his father never chose him.
He’d gone through it his whole life. There was always something or someone more important than him.
He should be used to it, but he’d never been able to grow a thick skin.
Each time Winston was chosen last, it chipped another piece of him away.
“We need to bring Cal to trivia night,” Lucky said, earning him a smack upside the back of the head from Novak. “Ow. Hey, what was that for?”
“For being an idiot.” Novak looked over at Winston sitting in the recliner, one ankle resting on the opposite knee. He stared at the glass of wine he’d poured himself but hadn’t drank. “You okay, Winnie?”
The mention of his name pulled Winston out of his thoughts. “Sorry? What? Yeah, I’m fine,” Winston answered as his brain caught up to the conversation. “It’s been a long, weird day.”
He was tired, but he was keenly aware of the robot-android-person-thing that now lived in the corner of his bedroom.
Winston hadn’t shared a room in his life.
He’d had an overnight guest every now and again, but he’d never let anyone get attached to him.
He had his group of friends that he kept close, but Winston was used to being on his own otherwise.
Growing up, he had basically been raised by his father’s staff.
Nannies and housekeepers and even the cook had more to do with Winston than his father.
Oh, but he always had the latest toy. The most up to date gizmo.
The best clothes, and when he got older, the gifts only got more extravagant and expensive.
And because the alternative was to have nothing, Winston let his father buy him.
He held no more dreams that one day his dad would wake up and want to actually have a relationship with him.
His dad was driven by money and by things and status and not by the need for any sort of meaningful connection with people, certainly not his own son.
If Winston’s mother hadn’t died, he liked to believe that she’d have left Winston’s father.
Novak plucked the glass of wine from Winston’s hand and took a sip. “You okay? Talk to me, Win.” Novak offered back the half empty wine glass, but Winston waved it away.
“There’s nothing to say.”
“Win, come on. It’s me. If anyone gets it, I do.”
Novak did. He was the product of a torrid affair that had been made public.
It had been ugly between his parents his whole life.
He was the child no one wanted. A black mark against his father.
Walking proof of his mother’s failed hope that a baby would make a difference.
His father had paid for Novak’s education, and he’d never wanted for anything, but in return, Novak was to never reach out to him.
“I know I shouldn’t care.” Winston wiped a hand down his face. “It’s stupid to still care.”
“It’s not stupid to care. It’s stupid to not care. Our dads routinely make shitty choices where we’re concerned. The only difference is that mine doesn’t care if I think he’s a bastard.”
“It would almost be better if he didn’t give me anything.
If he just forgot about me. I think I could rationalize that better than him ignoring me until he felt guilty enough to shower me with things.
If guilt is such a motivator for him, why does he always act on it after the fact instead of trying to prevent it in the first place? ”
“There’s something broken inside him, Win. Something that has nothing to do with you but affects how he interacts with you. He knows he’s wrong, but he’s emotionally stunted and thinks that things can fill the gaps he leaves.”
Winston snorted. “Emotionally stunted is definitely accurate.”
“So don’t follow in his footsteps, Winnie. Talk to me.”
Winston looked at Novak and sighed. “I fucking hate you and your goddamned sad puppy dog eyes. How can I keep being a closed-off bastard if you look at me like that?”
Novak’s mouth twitched like he wanted to smile, but he fought it off until Winston relented with a heavy sigh. “Ugh. Fine. I hate him, okay? Happy now?”
“I hate my dad too. It’s fine. They’ll live.”
“I hate him, and I hate myself for still wanting him to choose me. But instead I get nice cars and VIP tickets to concerts and the latest in artificial intelligence companions. He gives me everything but his time.” Winston took a deep breath and let it out as he tried to shed his lingering disappointment.
“And now I have to go upstairs and sleep in the same room as this giant guilt gift.”
“You have a whole house. It can go somewhere else while you sleep.”
Winston shifted, feeling unsettled. The idea of leaving his gift out where anyone could access it made him uneasy. Winston was usually territorial about the things his father gave him. If he was going to get gifts instead of affection, he was going to guard them closely.
“It’ll be fine,” Winston said, shoving himself to his feet. “I’m so tired I’ll probably be asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.”
Novak’s expression oozed skepticism, but to his credit, he kept his doubts to himself. “Alright. Well, I’m off to bed. I have an early class.”
Novak clapped Winston on the shoulder and then disappeared up the stairs.
Winston went from room to room turning lights out.
He stood at the foot of the stairs for a few minutes until he felt ridiculous for hesitating.
It was his room. His house. He could sleep wherever he wanted.
Calvin wasn’t a person. He didn’t have to be polite or entertain him or worry about what he wanted from Winston, if he had ulterior motives. He was a robot.
With that in mind, Winston climbed the flights of stairs that led to his bedroom on the top floor. His room was unchanged from the last time he was in it. Nothing had been moved, but the presence of Calvin in the corner wasn’t something Winston could ignore.
At least not yet. He’d need practice.
He stripped out of his clothes and let them fall to the floor in a heap before he climbed into bed.
Normally, Winston liked his oversized bed.
It came in handy for nights when there was more than just him in it.
And when he was alone, he got to starfish in the middle.
Stretch out in all directions and not touch the edge.
He usually liked the way it made him feel small.
Tonight, Winston stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t ignore the fact that there was a person… not a person. A person-like thing in the corner of the room.
Calvin’s docking station gave off the faintest glow. A subtle blue light lit him up just enough for Winston to make out the shape of him.
The idea of someone standing in the corner of his room all night made his skin crawl. No matter how Winston tried to convince himself that it was fine because Cal wasn’t a person, his brain rebelled at the idea of letting his body sleep. He felt watched.
Winston got out of bed and crossed the room to where Calvin stood like a toy soldier. He leaned in close and squinted in the mostly dark. Calvin’s eyes were shut, and he appeared to be in rest mode. He wasn’t watching Winston. It was all in his head.
Satisfied for the moment, Winston got back into bed, but sleep refused to come. Winston stared at the ceiling. He could have Calvin go to a different room, but then he’d be worried about him.
“Calvin?”
“Yes, Winston?” Calvin answered right away.
Winston might regret this later, but he was so tired, and he just wanted to sleep. He’d been tossing and turning for hours now, lying awake in the dark thinking about the robot across the room.
“I can’t sleep with you standing over there. I feel like I’m being stared at.”
“I can assure you that my eyes were closed,” Calvin said in that flat, emotionless tone of his.
“I know, but it just feels that way. It’s a human thing, I think. Anyway, will you please get in the bed and lie down?”
Calvin drifted across the room and climbed under the covers. Winston cracked his eyes open and saw Calvin laying in the bed, looking like a mannequin. He was stiff as a board with his arms down by his sides. His eyes were closed, and he was on his back, face turned toward the ceiling.
Strangely, it did help Winston relax to have Calvin in bed with him. The feeling of being watched went away.
“Thank you.” Winston yawned and wriggled around, trying to get comfortable.
“You’re welcome. Good night, Winston. Pleasant dreams.”
If Winston pretended hard enough, he could almost imagine that Calvin didn’t sound as robotic as he had just hours ago when he’d first arrived.
It still bothered Winston that his dad would rather buy his affection than try to earn it. Over the years, it was something he’d tried to make peace with but hadn’t been able to wrap his head around it.
“You are still awake,” Calvin said. “Why?”
The question caught Winston off-guard. “Why am I still awake?” Winston rolled over to face Calvin. “It’s weird that you’re here. In my bed.”
“You asked me to join you, but I can leave.”
“You can stay. It’s just weird. You’re lying there like a corpse.”
Calvin turned his head toward him. The room wasn’t fully dark, and Winston could just barely make out the slant of his eyebrows when he furrowed them.
“I am not dead. I am also not alive.” This seemed to disturb Calvin, who frowned. “How would you like me to position myself?”
“I don’t know. Like a person.”
Calvin rolled over onto his side, facing Winston. “Is this better?”
“Maybe face the other way.” Winston winced at his suggestion as if he could hurt Calvin’s feelings. Calvin didn’t have feelings. He was fancy, for sure, but intelligence didn’t equal emotions and Winston needed to remember that.
Calvin rolled over and repeated his question. “Is this better?”
Winston stared at the back of Calvin’s head. The broadness of his shoulders and the taper of his waist. It was better and so, so much worse. Calvin was hot. Exactly Winston’s type, in fact. Lean and trim with that boy-next-door look. Only he wasn’t real. He was a glorified puppet.
“Yeah,” Winston said eventually. “Thanks.” He rolled over, facing away from Calvin and, surprisingly, sleep overtook him almost instantly.