Chapter 15
Fifteen
RONAN
P ure and absolute agony washes over me, leveling me to the ground as I watch Cheryl make her decision.
She chose to leave with her brother, which shouldn’t have come as a surprise.
Her loyalty to Karl knows no bounds, and it’s one of the main reasons I love her so much.
But it kills me that I couldn’t say to her all the things that have been in my heart for the past year.
I never had the chance to tell her how much she means to me.
I shut the front door of Solomon’s hut with a loud bang, making the wood crack.
It was already hanging precariously thanks to me kicking it open last night.
I stare at the first familiar’s small open room, breathing hard.
Everywhere I look reminds me of the few blissful hours I spent with Cheryl.
Closing my eyes doesn’t help. Her scent is all over the place, and it heightens her absence to the most painful level.
I curl my hands into fists, digging my nails into my skin until I draw blood.
My vision becomes tinged in red as fury courses through my veins.
A roar comes from the pit of my stomach, clawing its way up my throat.
I reach for the first object within reach and throw it against the wall, shattering it to smithereens. Everything become a blur—all I know is anger, and it consumes me. My pulse pounding in my ears is the only thing I hear besides the cacophony of destruction.
After all my aggressive energy is spent, I drop to my knees, tired to the bone.
I’m shaking, and for the first time since I was a young lad, I allow myself to feel the sadness I usually keep bottled up inside.
I curl into a ball of misery in front of the cold fireplace and let tears come.
I’d planned to start another fire, but spending the day in an icy room is more fitting.
I massage my chest, trying to soothe the ache there, but it isn’t only my pain that I feel swirling inside.
It’s Cheryl’s too. I could take solace that she’s miserable about leaving me, but what good will that do for us?
I don’t want her to suffer. I want her to be happy.
If I wasn’t stuck in this damn hut, I’d have followed her.
I lie down and shut my eyes. This will be longest day of my miserable existence.
H eartache and the business of turning Cheryl into a vampire took a toll on my body. I don’t wake up until a gust of wind blows through the cabin and Solomon’s pissed-off voice follows. “What the hell have you done to my house?”
I prop myself on one elbow and scan the room. Fuck. I destroyed everything that was breakable, and now he’s going to kill me. There’s nothing I can say to excuse my appalling behavior.
“Are you deaf, boy?” Solomon strides toward me and hits me upside the head.
“Ouch!” I jump to my feet, towering over him, but he doesn’t look one bit intimidated. He could fry me with his magic if he wanted to. “I’m sorry about your place, Solomon. But I’m afraid you won’t be able to punish me.”
“Oh, do you want to put a wager on that?” His bushy eyebrows narrow. “I don’t even know how you managed to break through my wards.”
“I broke many things last night, including my vow to King Raphael.”
His eyes widen. “What are you blathering about now? Have you been bewitched?”
I shudder as memories that will never leave my mind for as long as I live replay in my head. “I was coming home from patrol last night when I caught Cheryl’s scent and found her almost dead on your doorstep.”
His eyes widen. “I knew I smelled her and Karl in the forest… but you’re still alive, so you didn’t cross paths with him?”
I grimace. “I did.”
“Does that mean he’s dead, then? I can’t imagine an outcome where you’re both in the same place and one doesn’t end up dead.”
“He would have killed me if I hadn’t brought Cheryl back to life.”
Solomon blinks fast as he processes my words. Then his jaw drops. “You didn’t.”
I nod. “Cheryl is now a vampire—or rather, a half-vampire, half-wolf shifter.”
He starts to pace, rubbing his beard. “You went against King Raphael’s wishes to save the female wolf. Boy, you’re in a heap of trouble.”
“I’m aware. I must return to the castle at once and face the consequences.”
Solomon whirls around and stares at me in this intense manner that makes me think he’s reading my thoughts. “You defied the king. That’s punishable by death.”
I clench my jaw. “I know.”
“Ah hell.”
I pat Solomon’s shoulder on the way to the door. “It was nice knowing you, old friend.”
“You aren’t even going to plead your case?” he asks before I step out into the cold night.
I look over my shoulder. “What’s the point? I’m already dead inside.”
“You’re a fool. All of you. Youth is definitely wasted on the young.”
Those are the last words I hear from the first familiar before I take off. There’s no point avoiding the inevitable. I betrayed my king, and now I must pay the price.
B efore I even cross the castle gates that lead into the inner courtyard, news of my arrival spreads. Lucca and Manu come running to meet me, forcing me to stop outside.
“Where have you been?” Lucca asks.
Manu halts, and then her nostrils flare. “You’ve been with Cheryl. Does she still live?”
She must know that Karl brought Cheryl to Solomon’s place. There’s no way she wouldn’t sense her familiar if he was close. “Yes, she lives.”
Manu exhales. “Good. Karl won’t be alone for a few more years, then.”
She doesn’t know what I did. She’d be even more relieved to know Karl won’t have to be alone at all, but she’ll find out later. I need to convey the news to the king first. Even though my honor is worthless now, he must learn of my betrayal from me.
Lucca narrows his eyes. Somehow, he knows what I did. But he doesn’t speak of it. Instead, he steps aside. “Let him through, Manu. Uncle Raphael is waiting for him.”
I catch the question in the stare she throws at Lucca, but I enter the building and tune them out.
My boots rasp against the hard stone floor, and with each step, my heart beats faster.
By the time I stop just outside the throne room, it feels like there’s a damn stampede of wild horses inside my chest.
The two Red Guard soldiers stationed in front of the double doors block my path and don’t move.
“I’m here to see the king,” I say, like they don’t already know that.
“He’s having an audience with James Davenport. You’ll have to wait,” one soldier replies.
I grind my teeth. Hell. I don’t want to wait. But I can’t simply barge into the room.
“Let him through,” the king commands, his baritone voice heard clearly even through the thick doors that separate us.
The soldiers open the door at once, and inside, I see James and a figure I wasn’t anticipating—Derek Blackwater. I wonder if the soldiers stationed outside know the king’s spy is here. Probably not.
“Ronan McLaren. I’ve been expecting you,” the king says from his throne, his expression revealing nothing. His face is an indecipherable mask, but I know deep in my bones that he’s aware of what I’ve done.
“Your Majesty.” I bow, and when I straighten, James is scowling at me. I can’t fault him for that. I did leave him and Dean without a word to go after Cheryl.
James and Derek depart the room, and the double doors close again. King Raphael stares at me with his enigmatic brown eyes, so similar to Lucca’s, and yet so different. There’s a mountain of pain and regret in his gaze. “You have something to say to me, don’t you, lad?”
I nod. “Yes. I’ve defied your orders, my king. I’ve turned Cheryl into a vampire against your wishes. I’m here to accept my punishment.” I drop to my knees, keeping my head down.
“It worked, then?” he asks, sounding eager, not angry as I expected.
I frown, lifting my chin. “Yes.”
“Hmm.” He strokes his short beard. “And can she still shift into her wolf form?”
“She can.”
“Any side effects?”
What is this? Why is he asking me questions as if I just returned from a mission he sanctioned? I obviously cannot ask him, but he’s acting peculiar.
“I could only observe one. The sun does her no harm.”
His eyes widen briefly. “She’s a daywalker, then.”
“Yes.”
He relaxes, leaning back in the throne. “Fascinating.”
My curiosity gets the better of me. My life is forfeit anyway, so I dare to say, “Forgive me, my king, but you don’t sound upset that I defied you.”
He cocks his head. “I can see that you didn’t expect to walk out of this room alive. You did disobey my orders, but tonight wasn’t the first time Cheryl asked you to change her, was it?”
I shake my head. “No. I denied her plea before.”
“What made you change your mind, knowing that doing so would cost your life?”
I swallow the lump in my throat, fighting all the emotions threatening to break through. “She died in my arms last night—” I drop my chin. “—and I couldn’t let her go.”
“I see.”
“It’s no excuse. I betrayed your trust, and I accept the punishment.” I keep my head down, not only out of submission to him, but also to hide the tears forming in my eyes.
“Look up, Ronan McLaren.”
I release a shuddering breath and meet the king’s stare. My cheeks are wet now, but I don’t wipe the moisture from them. Weeping like a little kid in front of the king isn’t ideal, but hell, I can’t seem to shut the lid on my emotions.
“You cry, but not because you fear death. You cry because you think you’ll never see the female you love again.”
“I’ve always known I couldn’t keep her. My tears are of regret. I never had the courage to tell her how I feel, and now I never will.”
He rests his elbows casually on the throne’s arms. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, lad.”
“I don’t understand.”
The king stands and walks over to me. “Rise, Ronan McLaren.” He offers me his hand and pulls me up. “I won’t end your life tonight. There have been too many unnecessary deaths in my inner circle.”
I’m startled as I meet his stare. “You’re not going to punish me? I betrayed you.”
“You did, but sometimes, even kings make mistakes. You did the right thing by going against my wishes last night. And the fact that you came to me to confess and accept a traitor’s death confirms what I knew all along. You are a male of honor, and I’m fortunate to have you in my court.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.”
He clasps my shoulder. “There’s no need to say anything. I do need you to pack your belongings, though.”
My stomach plummets through the earth. He will banish me from his court. That will be the punishment. “Of course, my king.”
“Don’t look so dejected, lad. It won’t be forever. You’re going on a mission with Derek Blackwater. Are you ready to return to your homeland?”
I haven’t set foot in the land of my birth since my family’s death. I’m not sure if I’m ready, but his question is rhetorical. “What’s in Scotland, my king?”
“The Warlocks of Ivern.”
My brows shoot up. Those are powerful beings, immortals who dabble in dark magic, and they keep to themselves. “Do they know we’re coming?”
He smiles. “No.”